I couldn't understand what 'sherven' was talking about , but I had the impression that lot of changes occured in him which had transformed that young vigorous and fervent boy to a wise and thoughtful man . At this time we arrived to the garden of the house of 'sherven's professor .Two beautiful kids shouted out of joy when they saw 'sherven' and called their mother . Some moments later a tall and gorgeous woman of almost forty appeared and welcomed warmly 'sherven'. Despite of her age , her beauty was intact . She was stalking sweetly toward 'sherven' and I noticed that all her gestures were for attracting 'sherven's attention and didn't notice at all my presence . Sherven showed himself very serious and official and automatically mentioned his study project and gave her the package he had in the hand and asked her to give it to her husband . The beautiful woman accepted gladly this errand and said plaisantly :" Oh Mr. Sherven , you can't imagine how much my husband respects you , he always talk about your intelligence and genius , we are really proud of you and your friendship is an honour for us " . Sherven was in a hurry to join her fiancee dinner party , so he postponed the invitation of the beautiful woman for having tea with them . The woman insisted on her invitation and asked 'sherven' to come visiting them one of these days . Sherven greeted the woman very officially and said goodbye , meanwhile I remained stupefyied by the gestures and the body language of that seductive woman , but with a sign of 'sherven' I followed him . The children wouldn't leave him and were sticked at him and expressed their joy and love . Sherven spent few minutes with the children for their amusement , but the gorgeous woman couldn't farewell 'sherven' till the door of the garden , because the arrival of a guest attracted all her attention . I threw a glance to the very elegant guest who was waiting for the host at the door of the garden . The seductive woman by seeing him shouted cheerfully and stalked toward the guest to welcome him . He was no one apart 'gorgon' . I could recognize him because of 'sherven's description about the new look of 'gorgon'. Astonished , I asked myself how a villain creature with such a mean and obscure past could be flattered and acknowledged by a gorgeous and respectable woman who had a high standing and distinguished husband . Sherven noticed my stupefaction and while himself tried to controll all his negative emotions by seeing 'gorgon' and while we were walking toward the garden door and leaving that place told me with a contracted voice :"that's true , these days , 'gorgon' enjoy the attention and the interest of lot of beautiful women , money , high social position and most importantly the power are a magic that transform the most horrible looks and make them agreeable and sometimes adorable . He is now one of the responsibles of a vast organization against the border bandits and smugglers and he could gain the trust and confidence of lot of influential personalities in the region . Apparently he succeeded arresting mysteriously one of the jewellery robbers who was his accomplice and associate in the past and so became a 'trustful' character . Yes my dear and innocent friend , it is so , now he enjoys even the affection and love of the most beautiful women too , you see well that the noble principles and the moral values which are praised in the books and among the good families are not always recognized by everyone , and different people have multiple and various interpretations of the beauty and the truth".
When I was walking in the street along with 'sherven', it was already evening and I begun feeling a sort of anxiety by recalling our house and my parents and siblings and because of all I heard from 'sherven' and what I witnessed earlier in the garden by seeing the new look and the new 'identity' of 'gorgon' . I was tormented by what I had in front of me : my family , and the scenes I left behind and the words of 'sherven' ; all the pure and noble values , beliefs and principles I considered until now intact and absolute , have been defected and seemed to me so fragile and so easily destructible . Sherven intended reaching his fiancee home and I was so upset that I presented my excuses to 'sherven' and asked him to greet her from my part , although 'sherven' insisted that I spend the night with them and having dinner at their place , but I refused because I had an apprehension of something bad in my family , so I greeted him and expressed my best wishes and all my gratitude for everything he did for me until then. Sherven shaked my hand warmly and promised that he would come seeing me again and expressed all his usual care , attention and kindness , and we went each one toward our destination .
37
When I arrived at home , my heart was beating too fast and I entred the room with hesitating steps , a frighful atmosphere was reigned there , the 'accusating' eyes stared me , my siblings were looking at me with resentment . I could bear all of this because of the comforting words of 'sherven', but apparently my mother after the leaving of 'sherven' came into the room with the company of the children and had insulted and criticized me and my friend until my arrival , and because she couldn't control her hatred , told me with a threatening tone of voice :"this was the last time that you bring someone in this house , this is not a caravansary for the vagrants to come and to go ", then she whispered groaning :"as if his own trouble was not enough, he gathers the others here ", and then to complete her threat she added :"since tonight your place is in the corridor in order you learn the rules of this house". Astound I begun to give an order to my things in the corner of the room , the leather suitcase was shining there and this was the only thing which comforted me . My father was plunged in his silence and didn't add a word to these statements. During my absence they had their dinner , so I knew that I would have nothing to eat . While I was in tears , I took my torn piece of stuff and pillow for sleeping and spread them in a corner of the corridor under the stairs and in between of the silent mockery and whispearing of my siblings I brought my suitcase and books to the corridor and installed them on my torn stuff spread ther . In the darkness I lay down and was thinking about my miserable days .
The night my mother rejected me openly from their 'assembly' was the beginning of all their future reactions toward me . After then , I was not anymore surprised by the behaviour of my mother . Many times when I came back home after the school and entered the room to say hello and resting for a while , I noticed that they were all gathered and were talking but once they remarked my presence they stopped their talk and frowning each one kept themselve busy with something without talking to me , and I knew how much my presence was bothering them and how much I was unwanted . Because at this time of evening I couldn't spend time outside , necessarily I remained in a corner of the room , ashamed and confused I kept myself busy with my books and vainly I was hopping to get something to eat . Sometimes in the afternoon when they were having a snack , my mother used to send me to buy something such as salt or sugar just to get rid of me when they were eating and drinking tea , and when I came back home after fulfilling the errand , I noticed that there was nothing for me to eat . Also when I asked my mother to give me a piece of bread , she answered violently :"maybe you want to eat the whole world , we are not responsible for your greedy stomack".
I was spending my growing years and I was always deprived of food . Starvation is a pain that no one can realize that if they never had such an experience , especially in the childhood . In the nights I was spending alone in that dark , cold and humid corridor , and while I was starving , I used to think about the nights I spent alone on the terrace of the house of that 'charitable woman' , when I couldn't sleep out of terror of the attack of the bandits , I asked myself what was the difference when I was in the home of the strangers , suffering pain , anxiety and starvation while at my father's home I was even more rejected than always , especially in my teen years my sensitiveness has been increased and I felt the pain and hurt in a more touching way . In the childhood I was unable to evaluate the extent of my misery and was only considering the general state of things which were disturbed and chaotic , but in these very critical teen years of eleven or twelve when the most
hidden feelings and thoughts display themselves and all the dreams express their claim , the least accident or hurting event could change definitely the path of our life and destiny . At this moment I couldn't understand why I had to be humiliated in this way , while there was really not a difference between me and my siblings in either domain , and mostly I couldn't realize the hatred of my mother toward me since my birth .
Sometimes , in very rare and exceptional occasions , in my mother occured a total change of personality and showed herself very kind toward me , in a way that I couldn't recognize her and these occasions were the nights when my father came at home very late , almost early in the morning , and no one knew where he was or what he was doing . These nocturnal absence of my father frightened till death my mother , because in that house , apart my family was living only the landlady , and the walls of the garden were too short and the quarter was not really populated and at each moment any stranger , thief or evil-doer could enter easily in the house and my mother was afraid spending the nights without the presence of a man , so my mother after the children were sleeping called me from the corridor inside and told me with a kind deceitful tone of voice :"what a good boy you are , I know that you are the only one among my children who loves me most of all , you are a wise and kind boy , look at these who slept peacefully and don't care at all about their mother , sit just here and be carefull to not fall asleep and go open the door when your father comes at home , instead I will give you a piece of bread ". My natural obedience and this belief that the shortcoming in the fuffillment of the mother's order was wrong , also because I was thirsty of the least sign of kindness from my mother even though fake and the promise of recieving a piece of bread conviced me to remain awake till early in the morning . While everyone was sleeping peacefully in their warm and soft bed , I was struggling with all sort of painful thoughts and when my father beat the door early in the morning , I had to pass through all the trees of the garden which looked dreadful in that time of the night and reach a dark corridor which led to the main door of the house and open the door for my father. In this way my mother avoided being insulted by her husband for not coming opening the door , and she kept me hungry till the morning and after having fulfilled the duty and after the coming of my father I was so exhausted that I didn't have any appetit and fell asleep in the corner of the corridor at my usual place under the stairs .
Sometimes I imagined or was hopping that maybe my devotion in these nights which were repeated regularily , would make my mother a bit kinder , but in my astonishment I noticed that in the morning she regained her usual attitude and her indifference or her violent insulting words were repeatedly expressed . Then I realized my mistake and knew that her fake kindness was just for abusing me .
Under the impact of my mother attitude and her continual hostile suggestions , my siblings organized each day a new 'act' or 'scene' to mistreat me . In my education , I learned that the respect toward parents was a duty which should never be neglected , but unfortunately , I never known based on what sort of superstition , she considered me a sort of horrible demon or her most dangerous enemy . As I mentioned previously , later I knew that she was suffering of a sort of mental disorder , but always unknow for herself or for the surrounding and she lived all her life with this disorder without being suspected of 'a mental case' . One afternoon , I was busy in my corner to give some order to my books and notebooks in the suitcase 'sherven' offered to me . At this moment my fourteen years old brother was playing with my three years old brother , laughing and kidding and were running after each other in the room . The loud sound of their kidding filled the whole room , in one of these turns , my big brother grasped my suitcase from my hand and continued his laughing and running and as he was whirling he beat strongly the suitcase to the door and the walls of the room . Astonished I was looking at the act of my brother and at each turn of the suitcase in the air and in the cruel hands of my brother I felt that my whole existence was taken as a meaningless thing to be mocked and insulted . I was in tears and my brother was observing me to evaluate the intensity of my anger . My calm and moveless attitude in the corner of the room seemingly provoked my brother to beat the suitcase more strongly to the walls . He repeated this act so much that I noticed suddenly that a side of the suitcase was torn and the locks broken , he was laughing foolishly and his whirling became more crazy . My sister was looking in an absolute indifference to this scene , my mother was drinking her cup of tea and looked few moments to me and some other moments to my brother who was the 'hero' of this act and sometimes smiled bitterly . I realized that as long as I show myself calm , kind and gentle ,as long they would increase their mistreating and insults and their insolence , so suddenly I decided to defend my rights , I stood up and shouted to retrieve my suitcase . My brother begun taking my books from the suitcase and with the complicity of my little brother , they threw the books and all the notebooks in the air in a way that all the pages have been scattered around . My shouting didn't work , they took the books I had in the corner of the room and whirled them by the pages in the air , so out of anger I sticked to the suitcase my brother still kept in his hands . We were struggling and he tried by all means to pull out the suitcase from my hands but he failed and moved back and I was dragged after him , he increased his endeavour but couldn't take the suitcase although I was two years younger than him slimer and skinny my forces prevailed his and I sticked the suitcase to my chest , then my brother hanged himself with all his weight to the suitcase and when I couldn't handle his weight , we both rolled on the floor still struggling each one sticking a side of the suitcase and he wouldn't leave it . My mother at this moment shouted :" help , help , this crazy boy is killing my son , take him , beat him and crash his head !" . But no one dared approching , my sister and my little brother noticed that I was not in my ordinary temper . The intensity of my anger was so that my big brother suddenly moved back and left the suitcase and was furious because of his failure . I took refuge in my corner and wiped my tears and kept myself busy with my suitcase and its broken locks and gathered all the pages of my torn books and notebooks . My mother looked at me with a threatening air , my brother groaning out of anger for his failure begun insulting me using obscene words full of hatred and resentment . My sister and little brother along with my mother sat in a line forming a union against me and were staring me as if they were looking at an horrible stranger . My angry brother shouted with hatred :"look at us that we have given shelter to a vagrant boy , he has suffered such a miserable life than now he is losing himself for a torn cheap suitcase", the others encouraged him with their loud laughs , then he added :"a cheap gift of another vagrant is not a reason for such an arrogance !". I couldn't stand more than this all the insults , especially when he called 'sherven' a vagrant and I remembered that my mother used the same word to qualify 'sherven' , so I left the room and in the corridor I letted my tears flowing freely .
Almost half an hour I was out and then when I retrieved my calm , exhausted I entered in the room to take my suitcase and all my books left in the room . My little brother once noticing my presence said to my big brother :"see , your dearest one appeared", my big brother shrinking his lips out of anger said :"we had not enough wolves in our forest , another one arrived by ship" , my sister with her usual arrogant air added :"wow , what a surprise , look at this who is sitting with such a boast in the ship as if he wants to blind the captain's eyes". So they were expressing their hatred by using this sort of despising and humiliating statements . They were resentful because I didn't let them 'peacefully' tearing my books and destroy my suitcase and notebooks . I found myself in a pityful situation , everyone in that home was hostile and suspicious toward me , with a knotted throat I took all my things and left the room and while crying I went to the garden . The landlady found me there while my eyes were bloody red because of the weight of my misery and all my crying , she has been impressed by my pathe
tic state , called me and asked anxiously :"my son , what was happening again in your house , I heard terrifying noises and I was worrying about you , I wanted to come to see you that you came yourself , you look terrible and too skinny , what's wrong with you , come in my home and rest for a while ". She took my hand and brought me to her home . She was not alone , one of her friends who was a very kind and good looking lady was there too and she seemed happy by seeing me . The landlady wiped my tears and letted me sit beside herself and then she offered to me a cup of tea , cookies and jam and some fruits . It was a long time that I hadn't taste any fruit or cookies . My emotional burden was lightened by such a warm and kind reception of the landlady . Her friend tried to console me and because I needed to confide my burden to someone I begun describing all the attitude and behaviour of my mother and the things my brother and sister expressed in their hatred .They were astonished by all I told them and stupefyied they looked to each other for some moments and while I was eating fruit I heard that they were talking quietly about the surprising statements of my siblings and deduced that these were not the thoughts of the children but the statements they heard and learned from their mother who certainly repeated many times in front of the children . The nice woman , friend of our landlady shaked her head out of sorrow and desolation and said :"it's really strange , in this world there are lot of people who are desperately hopping having a child and they are ready to give their whole existence and all they possess to have such a sweet and nice child and some others have lot of children and try to get rid of them and put them on the way or leave them in the orphanage". The landlady excited by this statement said :"I noticed the unkindness of the mother of this innocent kid when the blood was flowing from his wounded wrist and she was looking at this scene with an absolute indifference , I'm sure if some passerby was witnessing this scene would precipitate to help him or even an enemy would feel a compassion . At first I knew nothing about the relationship of the mother with this son of her and I thought that she had the same kind feelings than me about him , so I always praised his intelligence, talents and sweetness , but surprisingly I found that not only these compliments didn't make her proud or joyful but in the contrary she frowned and bitterly she changed the topic of the discussion and talked about all the good and positive qualities of her other children and sometimes she mentioned undirectly the unkindness and the trickery of this child ". The landlady's friend noticed my sigh and sorrow and said :" indeed how strange , each day we are witnessing a new side of the weirdness of the humans life, it seems that none of the behaviours of people is based on rationality and logic , as if everyone was obsessed or possessed by some 'demon' , when they love , they don't know why and when they hate they ignore the reason either , all people have became selfish , egocentric and arrogant ". Then addressing to me she added :"my poor little child , it seems that the affair of your parents and your family is not an exception , I heard a bit of the story of your life and your past from my friend , I think that you are in fact an exceptional child and for sure some metaphysical forces are protecting you , the innocent expression of your sweet and bright face , the shine of your eyes and all your kindness are witnessing that you will have a brilliant future , my only advice to you is to remain always honest , kind and good and your happiness would be assured " , then she kissed my forehead and when I was leaving the landlady took me in her arms and kissed me and said :"how lovely and sweet you are!".
The Child of Events! Page 17
