by P. Creeden
In the corral, May squealed, too, as she greeted the new colt in the corral with her. She bounded around the pasture with the colt, both of them showing off their size and paces with springy deer-like strides. Amanda set down the three-year-old and knelt with her, pushing a golden blond curl around the child’s ear. It seemed that they’d taken to dressing her up in finery because company was coming over, but it wasn’t necessary for the Tripps. All that it did for Amanda was make her wish, once more, that she had a nicer dress to wear. Instead she’d been forced to wear the brown one with jodhpurs underneath, so she wouldn’t get chafed by the leather of her tack.
Emma’s eyes widened as she took in the little gray mare. She pointed at Lilly. “She’s Emma-sized!”
Amanda blinked at the child and smiled. Over her shoulder, she heard male laughter. Then Nate said, “She’s been in a habit of calling things that are small Emma-sized. And Lilly is probably the smallest horse that Emma has seen yet.”
“You’re right, sweet one, she is Emma-sized,” Amanda said, patting the pony on the neck and pulling the tack from her back. Because Amanda was barely over five feet tall herself, she was happy to be able to work with the pony when she had come in the womb of a Calvary mare her father had bought at auction in Ft. Bridger. Once the tack was removed from both Lilly and Thunder, Amanda and her father planned to let both of the young horses loose with May and the colt, who Amanda had been calling Tommy, but knew that the Halbersons could decide on what they wanted to call the colt, since Amanda’s father had only just bought the long yearling as a part of a package deal two months prior.
Emma peered up at her father with big blue eyes. “Papa, can Emma ride the Emma-sized horse?”
As he picked up his daughter and pulled her close to his chest, wrinkles formed in his brow. “Emma, honey, this isn’t the horse I just bought from Miss Amanda and Mr. John. This one is Amanda’s pony.”
When the child’s brow scrunched just like her father’s, it was easy to see the family’s resemblance. “But this one is Emma-sized, not Miss Amanda-sized.”
Amanda smiled at the three-year-old. “You can ride her. She’s a good girl and if your papa will walk next to you, you can ride her from here to where we’ll turn her out in your corral.”
The child’s face smoothed and a smile spread across her lips. She clapped her hands together, but her father lifted an eyebrow toward Amanda as if to ask, “Are you sure?”
With a nod, Amanda pulled the saddle from Lilly’s back. “She’s a really good girl, Emma. I know you’ll like her.”
Nate set the child on the pony, dress, knee stockings, coat and all. He stayed beside his daughter, his hands outstretched toward Emma as Amanda lead the pony three steps forward. Then a shout came from the front porch. “What are you doing Nathan! Get that child off that animal. Young ladies do not ride horses!”
A woman Amanda didn’t recognize stormed from the porch in a high collared blouse and a blue skirt with a bigger bustle than she’d ever seen. The woman’s graying brown hair pulled back at her temples hard enough to yank the wrinkles out of her face. Amanda’s eyes grew wide as the woman drew closer. She had the same blue eyes and shade lighter hair color as Nate. And it dawned on Amanda that the woman had to be Eugenia, the aunt that she was coming to meet. Amanda’s face flushed.
Nate pulled Emma from the back of the gray mare while Eugenia lifted her skirts to hurry across the yard toward them. She gave Nate a harsh look. “Only wild women and ladies with low moral standards ride horses. True ladies mount wagons only. We must not let Emma become one of those.”
The blood drained from Amanda’s face as she pulled off her hat. Her long blond hair cascaded around her shoulders. She swallowed and offered the woman a curtsy. “Forgive me, ma’am. This is my fault.”
The woman turned toward Amanda and blinked in surprise. The look on her face went from indignant to mortified in half a second. Then she narrowed her eyes at Amanda and offered a tight-lipped smile. “Present company excluded, of course. No one could expect a man without the help of a wife to raise a daughter to be lady-like unless other family members step in. We are providing that for Nathan but understand that not everyone has the benefit.”
For a moment, all Amanda could do is blink at the woman. Eugenia had not only insulted her, but her father as well. Words were lodged in the back of her throat as a fire lit within her belly. She couldn’t say those words, if she did, she’d never get on this aunt’s good side, and never be considered a potential wife for Nate.
Chapter 3
Amanda
“Aunt Eugenia.” Nate’s voice held a harsh tone as he hugged Emma closer to him. “I’ve known several ladies who ride horses astride, including Amanda. She and her father, John Tripp, have been my friends and neighbors for several years, and I would be honored to have Emma grow up to be just as much a lady as she is.”
Heat rushed to Amanda’s cheeks, as all the words she could have said melted away on her tongue like rock salt. She nodded and excused herself quietly as she led Lilly toward the paddock where her father held the gate. The cool air brushed against her cheeks as the first flurries began to fall, clinging to her eyelashes. She peered up toward the sky. The cloud cover had gotten heavy and turned gray. When she let the filly loose in the corral, she peered up at her father, who smiled back down on her, ignorant of Eugenia’s words. “What was that about?” he asked.
Her heart constricted in her chest. She wouldn’t be the one to repeat the harsh portion of those words. “Ms. Eugenia is of the opinion that Emma shouldn’t ride horses.”
One of her father’s eyebrows lifted. “It’s not uncommon for the ranchers out here to ride into Belle without a carriage, even if they are female.”
Amanda offered her father a shrug and then smiled up at him. “I’d rather be a rancher than a lady, any day, if that’s part of the definition.”
After putting an arm around her shoulders, he nodded. “I imagine you would.”
He hadn’t been close enough to hear Mrs. Eugenia’s harsher words, or her judgement of her father’s situation. Once Amanda’s father had his eyes fixed ahead and they were heading back toward the house, she let herself frown a bit. The first impression she’d left on the one person she’d been hoping to impress was going to be difficult to overcome. She wished she could have worn a better dress and perhaps taken the carriage over. But that felt like deception to her. It felt like a lie. If she had to lie to get Mrs. Eugenia’s approval, was it something that she really even wanted to have? As she and her father stepped onto the porch and she met eyes once more with Nate, standing at the door with snowflakes clinging to his collar, her heart fluttered. Lying was not something that sat well in her stomach, even if she desperately wanted to be Mrs. Nathan Halberson.
The moment they entered the house, Amanda’s cheeks stung as she was struck with the sudden warmth of the nearby fireplace. Mrs. Evelyn Halberson, Nate’s mother stood from her knitting. “Mr. Tripp, Amanda. It’s lovely to see you both. I’m so glad that you could take the time to come by today for dinner. I have a kettle on for tea and we’ll have soda bread and a hearty root-vegetable soup with some of the elk that Nate got yesterday.”
Amanda’s father scrunched his hat in his hands before setting it on the coat rack by the door. “That sounds mighty nice, Mrs. Evelyn. Soup is perfect for the weather we’re having. That much is for sure.”
She beamed and headed toward the wood stove in the kitchen. Amanda followed. “Is there anything I could help with, Mrs. Evelyn.”
Emma hugged against Amanda’s side. “Can I help, too?”
Mrs. Evelyn’s beaming smile came their direction. “Why don’t the two of you set the table. Come back and I’ll have you carry bowls and bread to the table, too.”
Just then, the most girlish laughter hallowed through from the sitting area, causing all of them to look that direction. Amanda’s father smiled wide while Mrs. Eugenia continued to laugh almost fitfully. Nate’s gaze flicked th
eir direction and he shrugged as if to say he didn’t know what was so funny even though he’d been sitting with the two of them the whole time. The tension in Amanda’s own shoulders eased a bit. If Mrs. Eugenia could actually soften her sour face and laugh like that with someone like her father, maybe the woman could be reasonable after all.
With a smile, she accepted the silverware from Mrs. Evelyn and then let Emma hold the napkins. Together they had the table set and food spread out in no time. The smells from the soup made Amanda’s mouth water. She realized then that she’d barely eaten much breakfast that morning and given most of her portion to her father’s plate because of her excitement for coming over today. Now, she reasoned that the worry she’d put into this meeting with Nate’s aunt had all been for naught. She’d have been better off getting a good night’s sleep and eating a full breakfast than having spent so long worrying about impressing a stranger.
Even though she was trying to convince herself of such things, Amanda knew that she was just fooling herself. She didn’t really believe those words for a minute. Maybe the stuff about not worrying was true, but she still cared greatly for what Mrs. Eugenia felt of her, and really wanted to have the woman on her side when it came to the possibility of being a suitable match for Nate.
“If I had my way, Evelyn, would be coming with me to go back to San Francisco as soon as the railroad is running in the New Year. This cold is getting to my elder sister, and the temperate climate will do her a great deal of good,” Eugenia started in. “I’d like to convince my nephew and grandniece to come as well, but he won’t hear of it.”
“I’m not leaving my home and ranch. I have roots here. My father’s buried here. He loved the town of Belle, and I’m quite fond of the town and people here, myself.” Nate barely looked up from his plate.
“Even though there’s been that robbery of the bells in town? I’m not so sure this is the same town of Belle that your father loved.”
“What robbery?” Amanda blinked. “The Christmas Bells?”
Her father nodded. “I heard about it yesterday, myself. Hadn’t gotten around to telling you yet.”
Amanda swallowed. “The Christmas Bells were stolen? Who would do such a thing?”
“I’m sure it’s just some kind of mistake, and they’ll soon be found,” Nate answered, looking pointedly at his aunt. “The town of Belle is still full of good people. Even if they’ve been stolen, I know that the town will pull together and make the ceremony one to remember with or without our town’s bells. That’s why my father loved it here, and that’s why I’d much rather have Emma raised in our small town than in the city where she’d never get to know her roots.”
Eugenia frowned and stabbed at the meat in the soup. She sighed. “Cow meat is much more tender. Don’t know that I’d ever get used to this stuff.”
Nate nodded. “Well, it’s most of all we’ve got for the winter.”
From Amanda’s own experience, elk meat was the softer of the two. But she wasn’t about to stick her nose into a family discussion over which kind of meat was best. She’d just eat her soup and keep her opinion to herself there. She didn’t want to get further on Mrs. Eugenia’s bad side. Instead she made sure she remembered to keep focused on her good manners and to sit up straight. Emma sat between her and Mrs. Evelyn asking questions of Amanda and virtually leaning against her the whole time they ate. Although Mrs. Evelyn was trying to feed her granddaughter, the child wanted Amanda to do it. She nodded to Mrs. Evelyn, when the grandmother apologized.
“It’s quite alright. I don’t mind doing it,” Amanda said.
With that, she picked up a spoon and helped the child while the grandmother sat back and enjoyed her dinner as well. Emma loved the attention and giggled and laughed and ate with relish. Amanda did her best to make the experience into a game, and Emma played enthusiastically. After doing this for several minutes, she realized that the table had gone suddenly quiet. When she looked up, she met eyes with Nate first, whose expression was one that made Amanda’s heart skip a beat. She’d never had Nate look at her that way before. His smile was so sweet, his eyes were soft and wistful. It almost looked like love.
Chapter 4
Amanda
Amanda swallowed hard.
Nate blinked, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he looked away and put his attention back to the plate in front of him.
No. She had to be mistaken, even though her heart thundered in her chest, denying that she was wrong. Emma laughed and grabbed at her hand. Amanda smiled at the child and went back to playing games with her.
“Well, I think it would be lovely if we could find a suitable wife for Nathan before I leave for San Francisco. If there is someone here to help him on the ranch and to take care of Emma, it will make all the difference in convincing my sister to come with me,” Eugenia continued.
Amanda wanted to volunteer for the position but knew that doing so would have been wildly inappropriate. Instead, her father asked, with much more tact than Amanda could possibly muster, “Do you have any prospects for that position yet? Met any suitable young ladies?”
Eugenia frowned. “Not yet. I’ve met a few in town, but most appropriate ladies have already been taken. We may need to put out an advertisement. Not every woman is willing to come into a situation like this. Small town, ranch life isn’t for every woman, and having to raise a child who’s already in the family doesn’t help bolster chances.”
A frown tugged at Amanda’s lips. It was a horrible thing for the woman to say so openly in front of both Nate and Emma. “I’m sure there are women who would love to take on both roles. Sure, some women are soft and prefer being pampered in the city, but others are strong and tough, and want to be the wife of a successful rancher.”
Nate smiled at her again. Though it wasn’t quite as soft as the last time, it was almost as loving. But Amanda’s father frowned at her, the slightest shake of the head for warning. Her stomach sank. She’d said too much. Where had her sense of propriety gone? She shouldn’t have said anything at all. In no uncertain terms, she’d insulted Eugenia’s way of living in much the same way as Eugenia had done with her and her father. It might have felt good the split second the words left her lips, but it left a bitter taste when she realized the consequences of her actions.
She opened her mouth to apologize, but Nate’s words interrupted her. “Amanda is right. And I don’t need you to find me a soft woman who wouldn’t be accustomed to this role. Amanda will make someone a fine wife someday when she’s ready.”
Tightness filled her brow as her forehead scrunched all on its own. She wanted to yell, “I’m ready,” but somehow that sense of propriety which had been missing before made its way to the surface now.
“Amanda is of marrying age,” her father answered for her. “But we’re just waiting for the right offer to come along.”
Eugenia lifted a brow. “Well, don’t have her wait too long. She has youth on her side now, but the sun is known for draining youth quickly from the features of women who like to spend too much time out of doors. You may consider an advertisement, as well.”
With each word that the older woman had let past her tongue, Amanda’s heart sank further. Even though her father had blatantly stated she was ready for marriage, no one even seemed to consider the possibility she might be a match for Nate. It was too much to handle. As Emma finished her list bite of food, Amanda stood a bit from her chair, keeping her eyes cast down toward the table. “If you’ll excuse me? I don’t feel entirely well; I believe I just need a breath of air.”
Although both her father’s and Nate’s chairs scraped against the hardwood floor, Amanda didn’t stick around to give them both a bow before spinning on her heel and heading for the front door. When she reached it, she slipped out and into the cold air. The flurries had stopped and left a light dusting of white over the backs of the horses out in the corral, the top of the fence rail, and intermingling with the bits of browned grass on the ground. Cold seeped into
her skin, finding every stitch and crack and bare spot in her clothing. The air smelled clean and fresh. Snow had an unparalleled ability to cover up the stench of manure, and even make a muddy walkway look pretty.
But right now, Amanda could barely appreciate the sight, the smells, or the muffled quiet. Why had she bothered to come? It had been a horrible idea. Would she have been less heartbroken if she’d just stayed home and watched Nate marry yet another woman that wasn’t her? Would she have hurt less? She swallowed the lump forming in her throat. No, she wouldn’t have hurt less. She’d needed to give this a try, even if it had been for naught. Even if Nate still wouldn’t look at her as anything but a kid sister, she’d needed to at least let him know that she was willing to be his wife, if he’d have her.
That just sounded wrong.
Honestly, she didn’t want to be his last resort. She’d wanted him to love her the way that a husband should love his wife. The desire of her heart had always been for Nate to notice her in a new way and come to her with his own expression of love and interest of marriage. She didn’t want to be the one to tell him to consider her. Small hints were one thing, outright telling him of her interest was another. Her cheeks turned cold before she swiped the tears that had fallen. And just in time, as the door to the house opened again and someone slipped out on the porch with her. She didn’t want to turn around and acknowledge her father’s heavy boot steps as they approached her.
But then the wrong voice began to speak. “Don’t let my aunt get to you, Amanda. She can be quite full of herself and often says things insensitively without realizing how much it might hurt those who hear the words.”
Nate.
Had he really followed her out into the afternoon cold. The sun was already beginning to set, even though it was not yet five in the evening. Amanda cleared her throat. “It’s fine. I already noticed that about her and was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she wasn’t purposefully trying to hurt anybody.”
