Megumin slapped a hand over her sister’s mouth. “Yes, Komekko, I’m aware of what I wrote; you needn’t rehash it for me! In fact, that’s exactly what I want to talk to you about. . .” She was starting to blush. She was just about to come to the point, but she didn’t get the chance.
Aqua could barely contain her smile as she said, “That’s my Megumin. Practically a goddess? Close. I really am a goddess—but you’ve got the right idea. Yes, what your sister told you is no lie.”
Darkness was right behind her. “Er—ahem. I n-never knew you felt that way, Megumin, but, er, yes, it’s all true. Heh. . . Heh-heh. . . ‘A great, stalwart Crusader,’ eh?”
“Wh-what is wrong with both of you?! It’s all a mistake, Komekko! What I’ve been saying—!”
Before she could finish, I broke in.
“—is basically accurate.”
4
We were on our way to the Adventurers Guild together. Megumin was objecting, quietly, to our having brought Komekko.
“Why must things get so thoroughly out of hand? I was more than prepared to tell Komekko the truth and let her be disappointed in me. . .”
I turned to the whispering Megumin. “Ah, calm down. Besides, all that stuff you were saying to Komekko—how do I put this? None of it sounded off. Maybe a little exaggerated.”
“He’s right—maybe just a little. Anyway, some things are hard to communicate in a letter—it hardly even qualifies as a mistake.”
While the three of us debated, Darkness was walking happily in front of us, hand in hand with Komekko so the little girl wouldn’t get lost.
“Hey, Golden-Haired Sis, is it true you’re super-duper strong and can even stand up to Explosion? Is it true that even a mean ol’ demon couldn’t possess you?”
“Oh, I suppose so. Yes, that did. . . Hmm, so Megumin even wrote to you about that. Well, it’s true enough.”
“Cooool!”
Darkness seemed to be trying to coax Komekko into saying nice things about her. I guess she really didn’t get enough praise on a daily basis.
I supposed she was pleased to have someone recognize her—it was easy to ignore someone who just stood around guarding things, and most people did.
“Hey, what about me? Tell me a bit more about me!” Aqua, apparently also starved for praise, wandered up to Komekko and Darkness and started fishing for compliments.
. . .I’ll have to ask later what Megumin wrote about me. . .
Megumin’s voice carried through the Guild Hall despite the building’s large size.
“I have something to say!”
Those were the first words out of her mouth when we came inside, and everyone in the building turned to look at her. Megumin and I had gotten here first, the plan being that we would explain things to the other adventurers while Komekko stayed with Darkness and Aqua.
“Listen,” I said, “there’s something I’d like to ask all of you to do.” And then while I still had their attention, I explained what was going on. I told them how Megumin’s sister was staying with us and how our exploits might have been slightly exaggerated in the telling. In particular, I mentioned how Megumin was supposedly the object of intense respect and admiration at the Adventurers Guild. “I just want to make sure we all have our stories straight,” I concluded. “As for what’s in it for you—while Megumin’s sister is here, I’ll be picking up everyone’s tabs at the bar. My treat.”
That got some eyes to light up. A lot of people didn’t seem really into it, though. Maybe they felt bad lying to a kid.
“I know, I know, it’s an obnoxious thing to ask. But please do it for me.” Hoping to win those people over, I bowed deeply.
“K-Kazuma. . .!” That brought Megumin up speechless. Then a little smile came over her face. “You needn’t go so far for me. I think it is time I told Komekko the truth. My authority as an older sister is less important to me than you, Kazuma, not embarrassing yourself on my behalf. Please, everyone, let’s all pretend this didn’t happen. I apologize for nearly getting you dragged into something so strange.” Then she bowed to everyone.
And that was when it happened.
“Aw, don’t back out now, Megumin. I don’t mind saying whatever. Not if Kazuma’s gonna pick up my tab!” The voice belonged to an adventurer I recognized, someone we’d drunk with at the Guild a few times before.
“You know, Kazuma helped me once when I had just arrived here. He took me to lunch and taught me the basics of adventuring. This is the perfect opportunity to pay him back.” That was a woman I’d found almost at random once; I’d bought her a meal pretty much so I could pretend to be a veteran adventurer.
“Heh, you guys have taken down more than a few generals of the Demon King. You’re aces. This ain’t exactly a request from a bunch of nobodies. Just act respectful toward Megumin? Sure, I can do that. Thanks to you guys, I made out like a bandit on that bounty.” That was another adventurer I knew very well.
Megumin looked like she might burst into tears, but she seemed a little pleased, no question. “My goodness. . . Thank you very much. But it kills me to think of all you generous souls telling lies to sustain my pathetic pride. It’s enough to know you feel that way. . .”
She bowed her head, but she didn’t get to finish her excuse. Because the door of the Adventurers Guild flew open with a bang.
“Here it is, Axel’s Adventurers Guild! This is a starter town, so it’s a bunch of low-level weaklings, but they’re all nice people, and if you go around looking sad and hungry, I’m sure they’ll give you some treats or buy you a beer or something!”
In came Aqua, possibly praising the other adventurers or possibly not. Everyone turned to look at her—and caught sight of Komekko, who came into the Guild holding Darkness’s hand.
“But my big sis said the adventurers in this town were awesome!”
Her voice carried all around the Guild Hall as she went on. “She said they didn’t run away from the Demon King’s general Beldia, or Destroyer, or the Kowloon Hydra, and that they’re all super brave and great people!” Komekko had a gigantic smile on her face.
The collective gaze shifted back to Megumin, who had drawn her hat down to hide her beet-red ears and wasn’t making eye contact with anyone. That didn’t bother Komekko at all; she went up to the nearest adventurer with a look of genuine reverence. “You’re awesome!”
“G-gee, you think so? Heck, maybe I am. I guess adventurers from some other town would have run away. But your big sis is even cooler than the rest of us!” the adventurer answered with a grin, causing Megumin’s head to snap around to look at him.
Beside him, a female adventurer said with considerable pleasure, “Yeah, our levels aren’t always high, but you know? It’s heart that counts, and we have more heart than adventurers anywhere else. And Megumin has more heart than any of us!”
“So cool!”
“Huh?!” Megumin was about to try to stop the woman midsentence, but other adventurers piled on.
“Listen, little lady, everything your sister told you is absolutely true. The adventurers around here are a brave bunch. Hell, I myself charged Beldia head-on and died doing it—heh-heh, and I wasn’t sorry, not if it meant protecting my town. . . Gotta say, though, Megumin has me beat when it comes to sheer recklessness. She went one-on-one with Beldia; did you know that?” This adventurer was beaming at Komekko’s awe-filled gaze; Megumin looked like she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t get the words out.
“When we heard Destroyer was coming to Axel—people all over the world are afraid of it, now—even I started shaking in my boots. But then I thought to myself, This town has given me so much; the least I can do is try to keep it safe. And even old Destroyer couldn’t stand up to the power of Megumin’s Explosion. Come to think of it, that’s the battle that gave me this scar. . .” Komekko’s eyes shimmered at this story from a man with a scar on his cheek.
“I remember the Kowloon Hydra—now, that was a battle. . . Normally they would hav
e sent the royal knights to deal with a problem that big, but the capital’s forces were too busy fighting the Demon King to come help. So our only choice was to do something about it ourselves. But was I scared? Ha! I left fear in my mother’s belly when I was born. A hydra? Megumin put it down for the count!”
Everyone but Megumin and Komekko nodded at this tale of heroism.
“Big Sis is awesome and so are all of you!”
Komekko’s innocent words of appreciation drew smiles from all the adventurers. Only Megumin wasn’t grinning; instead, she shuddered and whispered something incomprehensible about a demon-ish little sister.
5
“C’mon, sweetheart, have a mouthful of this. Axel’s famous fried frog.” A tough-looking male adventurer set a plate in front of Komekko, who was at a table in the center of the Guild.
“You blockhead. Kids like hamburgers, right? Here, try this frogburger, dear.” A female adventurer beside him set down another plate.
The tiny swindler at the table gave a huge grin. “I’ll have them both!”
Perfect answer.
“What a thing this is, to be frightened by my own sister. I worry she will grow into a demon lady who plays men like musical instruments.” Megumin, watching everyone dote on Komekko from a distance, whispered so that only we could hear her.
“Yeah, well, she’d be learning from the best, wouldn’t she, ‘Sis’? The way you always get to the tastiest part and then back off. . . Eeeyow-ow-ow!”
Megumin jabbed me in the side (maybe I deserved it), and we saw one of the receptionists go up to Komekko with a smile. She must have been drawn in by Komekko’s charms, too: She was holding a bowl of ice cream.
Komekko was wolfing everything down, her cheeks puffed out like a squirrel’s. The receptionist stood behind her. “Pardon me—may I have a moment?” Still smiling, she took out some sheets of paper. She selected one and handed it to an adventurer.
“‘Hunt Quest: Lucy’s Ghost’?” the adventurer muttered. “Huh? Hey, isn’t this. . .?”
At that, everyone else looked at one another. The pieces of paper the receptionist was holding turned out to be monster hunt requests. The leftovers, at that: quests that had been sitting around because nobody seemed to want to do them.
When she saw that, Aqua frowned and came over to me. “Kazuma, Kazuma. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I’m sure they’re going to try to foist something unpleasant on us.”
“You’re a sharp one, Aqua. I was thinking the same thing.” Even from this distance, I could feel the danger wafting from the scene before us; I started slowly backing away.
As we prepared to beat a hasty retreat anytime it might be necessary, the receptionist went over to Komekko, who was still sitting in front of the large quantity of food—enough for two people. “Komekko—that’s your name, right, sweetie? I’ll give you some ice cream for dessert if you listen to what I have to say.”
“I’m listening!” Komekko didn’t hesitate despite all the food she had just eaten. The woman set the ice cream in front of her.
“It so happens that a woman named Lucy—she was a priest once—was turned into a monster called a ghost. It’s a long story about how. . .she still wanders this world, trapped in her abandoned church. Tell me, Komekko, sweetie. Don’t you feel bad for the poor lady who’s stuck as a ghost?”
“I feel bad,” Komekko said promptly, nodding, her face already full of the proffered ice cream.
“Of course you do. Anyone would, wouldn’t they? But don’t worry. Because all the amazing adventurers here are going to help Lucy!”
““““Huh?!””””
That came out of left field. Every person in the Guild Hall goggled.
“H-hey, Miss Luna, what’re you talking ab—?”
“You will help her, won’t you?” Luna said, interrupting the adventurer.
With Komekko sitting right there, her eyes sparkling with admiration, nobody in the building was about to say no. . .
“Okay, we’re going home before we get caught up in whatever this is. Look how pleased that receptionist is. She knows she’s got somebody on the hook for a quest no one wants.”
I jerked my thumb in the direction of the adventurers, who were muttering and murmuring over the quest paper. There were no objections to my plan, so we all started inching toward the door.
Lucy’s ghost.
There was this abandoned church standing at the foot of the mountain outside Axel. It didn’t belong to the Axis sect or the Eris Church. It must have belonged to some minor deity—I had no idea which—and “Lucy” was that god’s last follower.
Gods in this world drew their power from the faith of their followers. In other words, if not a single person believed in you, your power would vanish completely and you would disappear. Lucy was such a devout follower of her deity that she stayed in this world after her own death so she could continue worshipping this god, so that they wouldn’t disappear.
Nobody liked the thought of exorcising the spirit of someone as devoted and virtuous as Lucy, who had been so profoundly faithful that she kept praying even after she became a ghost. A former cleric, Lucy retained a strong resistance to holy magic despite being a spirit. To get rid of someone like that, you would need an awfully strong priest of your own—someone with profound faith and immense virtue.
But that by itself was a sort of paradox, and so to this day, Lucy was still in her church, having never been driven out.
“You’d need one hell of a priest to get rid of Lucy. But they’d have to be a total jerk of a cleric to want to do it. Do we know anyone like that?”
“Lots of crappy priests around, but it’s the huge-power thing that gets you. Too many priests here have gone soft because they love their gold so much.”
“How about an Axis disciple? They wouldn’t object to exorcising Lucy, would they?”
As this conversation gained momentum among the adventurers, we tried to eke our way out the door without making a sound. . .
“K-Kazuma, Kazuma. . .” Megumin’s agonized whisper gave me a very bad feeling. I slowly turned around. . .
Every single person in the room was looking at Aqua.
6
The next day, we left Axel early in the morning, heading for the mountain to the north.
“Hey, Aqua. I know this might be a weird question coming from a Crusader, but are you really going to exorcise Lucy? I honestly can’t say my heart is in this. . .”
When the dust had settled the day before, we’d ended up stuck handling Lucy’s ghost. The other adventurers had all been more than happy to foist the job on us, but there were plenty of other unwanted quests, so nobody got off scot-free.
Komekko, for her part, was at the Guild Hall at that very moment (despite the early hour), apparently having learned that as long as she was there, people would constantly feed her.
“What are you talking about, Darkness—you heard the story, didn’t you? This isn’t some lonely poltergeist who just wants to hear an adventuring story. If I thought Lucy would eventually be satisfied and go to heaven on her own, I might leave her alone, but she’s stuck here forever; I’m sure of it. Meaning it’s my job to send her into the next life by force.”
I couldn’t explain Aqua at that moment. We were all shocked by the genuinely goddess-like proclamation that came out of her mouth, so naturally she went on: “Besides, however insignificant Lucy’s deity might be, the fewer rivals the better, right? I’ll send her to heaven and wipe out this god’s last follower—and the god with her.”
“You are beyond shady. And to think I almost admired you for a second there—apologize to me!”
We walked along, arguing the point, until a tiny, dilapidated church house came into view.
“That’s it! That’s the church where this dumb deity is worshipped!” Aqua said. “I don’t care if she is the goddess of manipulation and revenge or whatever; I’m going to zap Lucy and put an end to her!”
“I’m with Darkne
ss—I’m not really feeling this. . .,” I said. “And knowing the deity we’re going to wipe out is a goddess makes it even worse. I mean, I’m not against bringing eternal rest to a wandering spirit or whatever, but. . .”
Aqua completely ignored my objection, champing at the bit to get to the church. But Megumin abruptly came to a halt.
“Aqua, what did you just say? ‘The goddess of manipulation and revenge’—is that what you said?”
“Yeah, so what? I heard it all from the receptionist. In life, Lucy worshipped the goddess responsible for manipulation and revenge, and even now, after her death, she’s the one last worshipper of this character.”
At that, Megumin tugged on my sleeve. “Kazuma, may I have a moment? I’d like to speak with you.”
“What’s up? Let me guess, you think a goddess of manipulation and revenge sounds pretty cool, and you feel bad getting rid of her?”
I was half joking, but Megumin shuddered. “. . .N-no. Well, I grant that she does indeed sound cool, but more importantly, this goddess and I. . . We might have a very small connection.”
“Geez! Dark gods, revenge goddesses—you have the weirdest acquaintances. I’d think Aqua would fill your quota of troublemaking deities.”
Exasperated, I tried to urge us on, but Megumin sort of looked into the distance and said, “Kazuma, do you remember your visit to my hometown of Crimson Magic Village?”
“Damn right I do. How could I forget it? It was the land of near misses for me. I almost slept in the same bed as you, and Sylvia nearly jumped my bones. . .”
“You can forget the part about us being in the same bed! That’s not my point. Do you remember the many tourist attractions in the village?”
“Yeah, sure. Cat-Ears Shrine or whatever and some stupid rock with a sword in it. What about it?”
The Arch-Wizard’s Little Sister Page 9
