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1-2-3-GO Pork Rind BBQ Nachos
6 cups oil for frying
1 cup pork rind pellets
1 tablespoon BBQ Seasoning (Click here for recipe.)
1 cup Axl’s Cheese Sauce (Click here for recipe.)
1/2 cup Alabama White Sauce (Click here for recipe.)
1/4 cup sweet onion, diced
1 cup Boone’s Smoked Boston Butt, shredded (Click here for recipe.)
In a large Dutch oven or deep fryer, bring oil to 350 degrees. Drop 1-12 pellets into the oil and hold down in oil for one minute using a large slotted spoon. The pellets will triple in size. Drain on paper towels, then place them in a paper bag. Sprinkle in BBQ Seasoning. Close the bag and shake! Place on a platter and top with Cheese Sauce, Alabama White Sauce, onions, and Smoked Boston Butt.
BBQ Seasoning
2 tablespoons salt
1 tablespoon cumin
1 tablespoon paprika
1 tablespoon garlic powder
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon black pepper
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Place in a (4 ounce) mason jar and store, unrefrigerated, for up to 3 weeks.
Alabama White Sauce
2 cups mayonnaise
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup hot horseradish
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons mustard
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Place all ingredients in a medium bowl. Whisk thoroughly until creamy and smooth. Cover and refrigerate until ready to use.
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1-2-3-GO Pork Rind Fiesta Nachos
1 pound ground beef
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon taco seasoning
6 cups oil for frying
1 cup pork rind pellets
Axl’s Cheese Sauce (Click here for recipe.)
1/2 cup Avocado Dipping Sauce (Click here for recipe.)
1 cup pico de gallo
In a medium skillet over medium heat, brown ground beef. Drain and return to skillet. Add in 1/4 cup of taco seasoning with 1/2 cup of water. Simmer for 10 minutes, then remove from heat. In a large Dutch oven or deep fryer, bring oil to 350 degrees. Drop 1-12 pork rind pellets into grease and hold down in oil for one minute using a large slotted spoon. They will triple in size. Drain on paper towels, then place in a paper bag. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of taco seasoning into the bag, then close and shake! Place pellets on a platter and top with Cheese Sauce, seasoned ground beef, Avocado Dipping Sauce, and pico de gallo.
Avocado Dipping Sauce
2 avocados, halved and pitted
1/2 cup Greek yogurt
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
Juice of 1 lime
Add all ingredients to a stand-up mixer and blend on low for 1 minute.
KA Note: As of publication, even though this was the first recipe I wanted to try, by the time I got into checking out the ones that I hadn’t tasted in the test kitchen, the COVID-19 pandemic had struck so I didn’t have the opportunity to find pork rind pellets.
But I’m gonna. Definitely.
And I. Can’t. Wait.
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Auggie’s Mains
Chicken Gyros
8 boneless, skinless chicken thighs
16 ounces Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon coriander
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup oil
1 tablespoon minced garlic
Juice of 1 lemon
1 onion, cut in half
2-3 wooden skewers
8 flour tortillas
Shredded lettuce
Diced tomatoes
Diced onions
Tzatziki Sauce (Click here for recipe.)
Place chicken thighs in a large bowl. Combine the yogurt, salt, coriander, cumin, cayenne, cinnamon, black pepper, oil, garlic, and lemon juice in a small bowl and pour over chicken. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 24 hours. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. On a foil-lined cookie sheet, place one onion half cut side down in the center of the sheet. Place 2-3 skewers in the center of the onion. Thread each chicken thigh, covered in marinade, onto the skewers, making a tower. Place in the oven and bake for 1 hour and 45 minutes to 2 hours or until a meat thermometer reads 165 degrees.
Remove from oven and allow to rest for 10 minutes before slicing. Using an electric knife, thinly slice the chicken, starting at the top of the tower and working your way down. Place about 1/2 cup of sliced chicken onto a flour tortilla and top with shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes and diced onion. Drizzle with desired amount of Tzatziki Sauce.
Tzatziki Sauce
1 cucumber
1 cup plain Greek yogurt
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon fresh dill, minced
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
Remove the skin from the cucumber and cut in half lengthwise. Scrape out seeds and grate the cucumber. Place the grated cucumber on a cheese cloth and squeeze out all excess liquid. In a medium bowl, combine the cucumber with the remaining ingredients. Mix well, cover and refrigerate for 24 hours.
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“Pre-Game” Philly Cheese Ribeye Steak
2 (8-10 ounce) ribeye steaks
2 tablespoons Mag’s Steak Seasoning (Click here for recipe.)
1 onion, thinly sliced
10-12 button mushrooms, thinly sliced
3 tablespoons soy sauce
5 tablespoons butter, divided
6 hoagie rolls, sliced in half
1/2 cup mayonnaise
12 slices provolone cheese
Preheat grill to 350 degrees. Spread the Steak Seasoning evenly over the 2 steaks. Allow the steaks to marinate and reach room temperature, about 30 minutes. While steaks are marinating, turn one side of the grill to high heat. Sear the steaks on each side for 2 minutes. Remove from high heat and place on the other side of the grill for the remaining grill time of 8-10 minutes or until the internal temperature reaches 145 degrees for medium rare. Remove from the grill and tent with foil. Allow to rest for 10 minutes before thinly slicing.
In a medium skillet over medium heat, melt 2 tablespoons of the butter and add in sliced onion and mushrooms. Pour soy sauce over vegetables and stir to combine. Sauté for 10-12 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spread remaining butter onto each side of the hoagie rolls and place in the oven for 3-5 minutes to toast the bread. Remove from oven and spread one side of each roll with mayonnaise. Place 5-7 steak slices, 1/4 cup sautéed vegetables, and 2 slices of provolone cheese onto each roll. Place all the rolls on a cookie sheet and return to the oven for 5 minutes. Serve immediately or wrap individually in foil and pack in a cooler to keep warm until the pre-game.
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Ham and Hash Casserole
2 cups chopped ham
1 (32 ounce) bag frozen hash browns
2 cans cream of potato soup
8 ounces sour cream
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup shredded Parmesan
4 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup chopped green onion
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon pepper
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine all ingredients. Place in a greased 9x13-inch baking dish. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minute
s.
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Auggie’s Desserts
Candied Cashews
1 egg white
1 tablespoon water
1 pound cashews
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Using a hand mixer, combine the egg white and water until foamy. Stir in remaining ingredients until cashews are coated evenly. Spread onto greased cookie sheet and bake for 1 hour, stirring halfway through.
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Auggie and Juno’s Chocolate Butter Bars
1 tube sugar cookie dough
1 container Nutter Butter® cookies
1 box brownie mix
2 eggs
1/2 cup oil
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a greased 9x13-inch baking dish, spread cookie dough to cover entire bottom surface. Then lay Nutter Butter® cookies evenly across the cookie dough. In a large bowl, mix together the brownie mix, eggs, oil and 1/4 cup water. Pour over cookies and spread to evenly cover entire dish. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
KA Warning: Suzanne made these for us. As you prepare them, multi-task by girding your loins. Once these come out, and you try them, you’ll lose your goddamn mind and want to shove your face in the pan. Be kind. Share. Or be smart. Pace yourself. Or be smarter. Make sure you have the ingredients for more than one batch.
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Bonus Round
An Elvira Board
1 jar garlic- or blue cheese stuffed olives (or both)
1 jar cornichons
1 wedge Jarlsberg cheese, cubed
1 container roasted red peppers
1 jar/container Marcona or Valencia almonds, salted
1 bag/container of salted cashews and/or Auggie’s Candied Cashews (Click here for recipe.)
Packages of Board Crafter’s Choice:
Slices of Spanish chorizo, prosciutto, salami and/or Soppressata.
1 apple (sliced medium thin)
Bunches of red and green grapes, washed
1 basket strawberries, washed
1 jar fig spread
1 jar whole grain mustard
Assorted Crackers and Sliced Breads
1 pan Auggie and Juno’s Chocolate Butter Bars (Click here for recipe.) cut in small squares and/or
1 batch Evie’s Cinnamon Clusters (Click here for recipe.)
1 Hot Pepper Brie in Puf Pastry (Click here for recipe.)
Arrange all ingredients on a very large plate, platter, tray or board in an artful matter with small bowls for the olives, cornichons, spread and mustard.
Slap anyone’s hand who’s around who dares touch it before you’re ready for the grand presentation.
This is no joke on the quantity side, so make it for four or more people.
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Hot Pepper Brie in Puff Pastry
1 sheet frozen puff pastry, thawed
1 round Brie
1 (4 ounce) jar Pepper Jelly (Click here for recipe), or you can use Auggie’s Blueberry Pepper Jelly (Click here for recipe.)
1 egg
Heat the oven to 400 degrees. Unfold the pastry sheet and place the cheese in the center. Spread the jar of pepper jelly on top of the cheese and fold the pastry up and over the cheese to cover. Press to seal the seams. Beat the egg and 1 tablespoon of water in a small bowl with a fork or whisk. Place the pastry seam side down onto a greased baking sheet. Brush the top with the egg mixture and bake for 25 minutes or until pastry is golden brown.
Pepper Jelly
2 cups pureed hot peppers (jalapeño and cayenne)
2 cups pureed bell peppers (green, red or yellow)
5 cups of sugar
1 cup apple cider vinegar
1 pouch liquid pectin
12 (4 ounce) jelly jars or 6 (8 ounce) jelly jars
Red or Green food coloring (optional)
In a large saucepan mix first four ingredients together and bring to a roaring boil. Allow to boil for 10 minutes. While the mixture is still boiling, add the liquid pectin and stir continuously for 1 minute. Then ladle the mixture into your jars, leaving 1/2 inch headspace. Apply caps and let jelly stand in refrigerator until set, about 12 hours, or transfer to your pressure cooker to seal for a longer shelf life. If you are not using a pressure cooker to seal the jars the jam must stay refrigerated. Refrigerated jams are good for about 3 months. Sealed jars have a shelf life of about 18 months to two years.
KA Note: Since discovering Suzanne’s pepper jelly, and after she sent me some recipes, I have made this Brie in Puff Pastry countless times. It’s my go-to appetizer for when I have company. And even my most health-conscious friends have thrown their healthy-living mojo out of the window to devour this without thought, willpower or remorse. It is the perfect combination of decadence.
Topping that, when you serve it, it makes you look like a culinary queen, which you will be, of course, if you make the whole of it. But I’m not, since I cheat due to Suzanne being my Pepper Jelly Dealer.
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Elvira’s Famous Cosmopolitan
Cirôc vodka
Cranberry juice
Cointreau
Fresh lime juice (or bottled, in a pinch)
Orange, lemon or lime rind for twist
Chill martini or coupe champagne glasses in the freezer for no less than 10 minutes.
Fill cocktail shaker with ice.
For each drink to be served, add two shots vodka, 1 shot cranberry juice, and 1/2 -to-3/4 shot each of lime juice and Cointreau.
Shake vigorously in the shaker and strain into chilled glasses. Garnish with citrus twist.
Mixologist’s option: Go the “Full Elvira” and purchase a Dior tote bag and travel sizes of all the above so it can be mixed at your whim wherever you are.
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All on My Side, The End
Fast forward one week…
I excuse myself from the patio and meet Auggie in his kitchen.
He’s making Elvira a Cosmo, so it’s clear she’s no stranger to Auggie’s pad, because Aug is not a Cosmo type of guy, but all the ingredients are there.
I get close to him and offer, “Can I help?”
“You can grab some fresh Fat Tires from the fridge,” he says.
I do that and come back to him as he’s straining Elvira’s drink into a glass.
“I’m sorry,” I say low. “I haven’t gotten to writing yours and Pepper’s…”
“It’s okay,” he says softly.
“This means your part in the cookbook is gonna be small,” I warn.
“It’s okay,” he repeats, turns, and shoots a white smile at me. “Save the best for last, yeah?”
I nod, my lips curving, and reply, “Yeah.” I give it a beat and ask, “What’s your favorite recipe?”
“Totally the Philly Cheese,” he answers.
“What’s Pepper’s?”
“Those candied cashews are all for my woman.”
As it should be with a Next Gen Rock Chick.
“And Juno’s?” I press on.
“Chocolate Butter Bars, for certain.”
No surprise there.
“You’re a good man, Auggie,” I tell him.
He smiles again at me.
And I smile back.
Chapter Eight
Inevitable
KA
Three and a half hours later…
You aren’t going to believe this.
Or maybe you are.
I’ve been kidnapped.
One second, exiting my Lyft outside Hotel Teatro…
The next, I have a hood over my head, my hands are being zip-tied behind me and then I’m shoved in the
backseat of a car.
We’re on our way before the driver asks, “It’s a long ride, got a preference for music?”
“The hood is unnecessary. I know who you are, Sly, and I know where we’re going,” I reply.
“Elvis Costello’s Greatest Hits it is,” he mutters.
I refuse to give him points for good taste.
“Pump It Up” comes on and I experience pain at the effort it takes not to sing along and rock to the beat.
Stupid Sly.
He’s not wrong, the ride is long.
And after it’s over, I’m hauled out of the back of the car.
It’s colder there than it is in the city.
I’m shuffled somewhere that’s warm and smells of piñon.
The ties are cut from my wrists, I’m pushed into a chair (that I will not admit is very comfortable) and the hood is pulled off.
I feel my hair fly and see I’m in a fabulous, elegant, welcoming, large mountain-house living room.
A fire is crackling in the fireplace beside me.
And Brett “Cisco” Rappaport is sitting in an armchair opposite me.
“Are you kidding me with this?” I demand as I irately smooth my hair.
Dream Bites Cookbook: Cooking with the Commandos Page 9
