“You have made your choice. You have stepped into the dark, and now you must face it, and face it within yourself. There is no way back. You can choose to move forward, or you can choose to cower and let the underworld consume you. I will be with you. But the battles are your own to face. Which do you choose?”
And with that she fades back into the darkness, although her words stay with you. What will you choose? You couldn’t stand still at the entrance to the cave, and now in its depths, more terrified than you have ever been, can you any less stand still? You must see this through to the end. You cannot stop till you reach the world above again. Standing still in the underworld means death.
Still terrified, you turn around. You listen for the footfalls coming toward you and you run toward them.
It takes only a few moments for you to come to the source of the sound. It is not the monster you thought would be there. It is dark, but not like the goddess. While she was made of stars, this thing before you, torch in hand, is human-shaped but made of dense, sticky darkness. The energy around it feels heavy and not at all like the night sky that made up the goddess who guided you here. When it speaks, you hear your own voice. It is not so much one voice but a chorus of voices. Every horrible thing you have thought about yourself, every critique, every doubt that has ever plagued you echoes around in the tunnel. In its shadowy darkness you see everything you are ashamed of in yourself. Every imagined transgression, everything you have been told you should not feel or want—this being is made up of all those things. The voices become louder around you, drowning out all other thoughts, becoming deafening. And you crouch down on the floor of the cavern almost overwhelmed. The smallest part of you that can still think hears the goddess’s words again: “There is no way back. You can choose to move forward, or you can choose to cower and let the underworld consume you. Which do you choose?”
And you realize this is your shadow. It is a being of your own creation, one that only holds power over you if you allow it to. Slowly, you get up. And you look at the shadow and see it for what it is. Arms outstretched, you embrace it. It makes no move against you. Perhaps it is as surprised as you are. You embrace it, hugging it close to yourself, without shame and without disgust. And soon you feel its own arms embracing you as well, until the dark figure begins to melt into yourself and you are left holding the torch it held, an arm wrapped around yourself.
The goddess steps out of the shadows once again. “There are more challenges, more demons for you to face ahead. But face them not as a shattered, splintered being. You have embraced your shadow. Remember that you are enough, just as you are. The gods do not require perfection, only that you strive to be better with every step and every breath of existence.”
With arms outstretched you continue onward and feel your way through the darkness of the cavern. You have faced many challenges, heard the encouraging voices of your guides and guardians as they watch you from the darkness. You no longer feel the paralyzing fear that gripped you when you first entered the cave to the underworld. That darkness almost feels comforting, and you feel different somehow. There may be more challenges ahead, but that knowledge does not make your steps falter or make you walk any slower through the caverns. You will meet what comes, whatever it is.
After some time, you see sparks of light in the distance. Is it the way out? You walk quickly toward it. Little sparks appear, then vanish, and then appear again. And soon you see as they appear that there are a face and hands illuminated by the sparks. An old woman sits in front of a pile of twigs and logs and is trying to light a fire. Soon you are right next to her and ask what she is doing. You thought there was no light in the underworld. In your entire journey there has only been the barest of illumination. A sliver of moonlight to illuminate the utter darkness. But that is not the same as a fire, and you long to see brilliant flames dancing in a merry fire. And it makes you long for home and beautiful nights when the darkness was illuminated by bonfires and the laughter of friends filled your ears.
The woman looks at you and smiles. She welcomes you to sit beside her. Her face is lined and etched with deep wrinkles that make her look kindly when she smiles. “There is more than shadow in the underworld. Fire can illuminate even the deepest darkness.” She sparks the flint again; tiny sparks fly into the air but do not catch. She sighs. “After all, isn’t that why you are here? Or were you planning on walking blindly through the underworld the whole time?”
She laughs at what must be your mouth hanging open. It may be dark, but she can see easily in the darkness, apparently. “Yes, part of the journey must be made in the darkness, facing it and walking blindly despite the fear. But you did not come here to learn to dwell in darkness, but to find the light that will illuminate it. How else can you understand the dark?”
You point out that even she has not been able to light her twigs. What chance do you have of building a fire?
“That is because I cannot light that fire, dear,” she tells you. “I can show the way, I can inspire the sparks, but it is you who need to make the flames catch. You must stir the fires within you. You have let them burn down to mere embers until now. Will you stir them? Will you allow yourself to burn brightly? Will you allow the flames within you to drive you and empower you? Or will you walk in the dark forever? Yes, you no longer fear it, and that is good. There may yet be times you walk through these dark halls again, seeking answers, but you were never meant to dwell here forever.”
She hands you the flint. And you close your eyes and see that banked fire that dwells in your own spirit as the woman says. All the dreams and desires you have put on hold, all the illusions you no longer believe that seemed so important at the beginning of your journey. You let that inner fire stir again. You let yourself want again, and hope again, and you see the fire grown stronger. You think about how strong you realize you are after your journey through the dark, the things you once feared and thought you could not do, that you now know are accomplishable. Stripped bare, you know now who you are more than you ever have. You see the embers within burst in a flame, and as you do you strike the flint and the sparks fly into the air. This time the twigs and logs catch fire easily. You blink and almost have to cover your eyes as the fire roars to life and illuminates the cavern tunnel. You were not scared of it before the fire was lit, but not being afraid of something is different from seeing it for what it is, knowing the shape of it, and seeing it with your own eyes in the light.
The old woman smiles at you. “Good! Very good,” she tells you. She reaches in her robes and hands you a torch. “It is time to return now. Light the torch with your fire and you will find the way. But I warn you. Here in this place your fire is easy to see. It burns just as brightly in the world above, but there it is harder to see. In the daylight your fire is no less strong, but in the face of other light you will forget how brightly it shines against the darkness. You must be vigilant and not let it go out.”
You promise to do so and thank her. As you walk through the illuminated cavern you soon see a pinprick of light in the distance. You run faster and faster until you find yourself at the opening of a cave, the sunlight pouring through as you climb up and up until you are on grassy earth, free of the underworld. You laugh and cry in happiness. And for a moment as you take in the beauty of the world above and feel the green grass between your fingers, you let the torch lie forgotten on the ground. You pick it up, and it still burns brightly. But you understand what the goddess meant. Here there is so much light. Your flame dances beautifully on the torch, but it seems small compared to the sunlight around you. It would be easy to forget how fierce and bright it shone in the darkness. You clutch the torch tightly, thinking again of those inner fires, and promise to tend them with care and let them burn brightly, not just in the dark but in the joyful sunlight and when things are happiest as well.
No matter how many times we encounter the lessons of the dark goddess, the path can be a difficult one.
The reward is that we learn the depths of our souls and the faces of our truest selves. Working with the dark goddess in any of her guises changes us, sometimes in subtle ways, other times in drastic ones—we may look at ourselves not recognizing the person we have become after the whirlwind is over. In the journey we discover the nature of a part of the Divine Feminine that is like no other. Embracing the change the dark goddess gives us is an act of bravery. It is going into the dark of the underworld even though we are terrified. It is accepting that parts of ourselves will die so another can be born.
Each of the lessons has been different, and each of the faces of the dark goddess we have explored has changed my life in different ways. They have shown me that I am stronger than I ever imagined and that I have the power to change my life in amazing ways. And most of all they remind me to always strive to better myself. I cannot choose to be stagnant anymore. And just when I feel I have emerged for a time from the underworld and will never have to travel those paths again, they put new challenges in front of me, and the cycle begins all over again. Their lessons have been difficult, have changed me in so many ways that I cannot say I am the same person who began that journey with them so long ago. And I am grateful for it.
Whether you are just hearing the call of the dark goddess or have traveled her path before, I hope that she lights your way through the dark as she has illuminated mine and that you no longer fear the goddesses considered dark and dangerous. After all, living is a dangerous business. While her wisdom can be harsh, when we embrace the dark goddess, we learn to live life to its greatest potential and to become the best versions of ourselves.
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Celtic Lore & Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess
Invoking the Morrigan
Stephanie Woodfield
Experience the life-transforming beauty of Celtic Witchcraft by calling upon the Morrigan—the Celtic embodiment of the victory, strength, and power of the divine feminine.
In this comprehensive and hands-on guide, Stephanie Woodfield invites you to explore the Morrigan’s history and origins, mythology, and magic. Discover the hidden lessons and spiritual mysteries of the dark goddess as you perform guided pathworkings, rituals, and spells. Draw on the unique energies of her many expressions—her three main aspects of Macha, Anu, and Badb; the legendary Morgan Le Fay; and her other powerful guises.
Dark Goddess Craft Page 20
