by Nella Tyler
It would invariably muddy the waters of their otherwise pristine plan.
If things ultimately worked out, it wouldn’t be so bad, but there would always be that chance that the melding of the two families would ultimately be the catalyst that would destroy everything.
I was sure, even if my father never said something like that, he would feel that way, and the assurance that Dexter’s father would have such an issue was irrefutable.
That also made me wonder why the hell Dexter wanted me to go out with him so badly.
Was it only because he wanted to make sure I didn’t tell anyone about what I saw? I wondered, but purposefully kept away from that line of thinking. I knew that if I went down that detrimental line of thought, even for a little while, it would end in me not even wanting to go on the date at all. Yet, after the decade or so I had waited for this opportunity, canceling was not an option.
Still, it took some convincing to assure myself that Dexter wasn’t guilted into taking me out. He genuinely wanted to catch up with me, if nothing else.
After all, anything else would be silly, and I hoped, even with all the time that had passed between us, he still knew that I would’ve kept his secret. He was playing Santa Claus at the mall and as odd as that was, I had never been so much of a gossiper that I needed to say anything to anyone, least of all my father.
While I considered my father and me to have a good relationship, especially after he retired, there were plenty of things that I neglected to tell him and even feigned knowing about. Why would Dexter being Santa Claus at the mall, for any reason be something that was dire enough that I would betray his trust?
Dinner or no dinner, I was far more loyal than that.
So, as I turned back around, feeling Mitten’s eyes on me, as though accusing me of being scandalous, I watched her in the mirror.
Glaring at me, somewhat confused, somewhat shocked at the audacity, or at least that’s what I presumed, her tail flicked menacingly back and forth, but the rest of her body remained immobile.
“What?” I asked her, turning too sharply and having to catch myself before the damn heels caused me to break something before I had even gotten out of my house. “I can go on a date. Your life isn’t going to change any.”
Mittens continued her cold stare as if she understood what I was saying and wholeheartedly disagreed.
Despite the obvious, that she was simply a cat, albeit the closest living thing to me, outside of work and Laura, I still couldn’t help feeling shamed by her obvious disapproval.
I huffed and narrowed my eyes.
“Everything is going to be fine, M,” I offered, though it was admittedly more for myself than for the cat, who was probably only reacting to my strange mood.
Still, I turned around and once again reconsidered my wardrobe.
Maybe I’m trying too hard, I thought, but before I had a chance to get undressed, there was a knock at the door.
“Oh God!” I exclaimed aloud, nearly jumping out of my skin as Mittens leaped off the bed and into safety beneath it in one swift, graceful motion, giving only a parting meow before rushing out of sight. “I’m coming!” I called when I finally pieced myself back together and started to ease myself down the hall, toward the door.
When I opened it, I felt a grin slide across my features that caused me to blush.
Always the epitome of debonair, the way Dexter looked tonight, with his perfectly pressed suit and tie, clean shaven and smelling delicious, put all the other times to shame.
Sure, he always looked handsome, but tonight, he was looking handsome for me, and that was something I had waited a long time to be sure of.
“You look so nice!” I offered, trying not to show the intimidation I felt as he stepped toward me.
“I try, but Mazie, God, you put me to shame. You look beautiful,” Dexter replied, sounding genuine, though I didn’t truly believe him.
“Thanks,” I replied, hoping that I could hide the insecurity I felt, “Would you like to come inside?”
“Sure, if you want me to?” he asked, and I couldn’t tell for sure, but something told me that he was nearly as nervous as I was.
I wasn’t quite sure how to take that, although I backed up and let him inside.
“I know, it’s probably a hovel compared to what you're used to, but it works for me,” I offered, not intending to make an excuse for the tiny house that I actually love but after I said it, I knew how it came out, and it sounded pathetic.
“Oh God, Mazie. This place is beautiful. Perfect,” he retorted, beaming with an earnest sense of excitement as his gaze took in the scope of my living room. When his eyes returned to mine, he chuckled, “It’s great! I always imagined you living someplace cozy like this. Your father's large house never suited your unique style.”
“Dex, are you calling me quaint?” I teased, and he laughed.
“If you want to take it that way, sure, but I don’t mean to sound like an ass. Believe it or not, I’m trying to compliment you.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” I grinned, “Then again, you were never great at giving acknowledgments. I guess some things never change.”
“Ouch,” he groaned playfully, “Are you going to show me the rest of the house or do you want to continue raking me over the multitude of my overbearing, misogynistic qualities.”
“I’ll show you the rest. It won’t take long, and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time to rehash your manly misgivings.”
“Damn,” he hissed as he followed me to my bedroom, where Mittens was making herself comfortable on my bed, thinking that I had already left.
When we walked in, she froze and glowered toward us, completely discontented by our presence.
“Oh, and this is Mittens,” I told Dexter, motioning toward the cat.
“Did you put her in a dryer before you named her or something?” he retorted, but bent down to her level, though he kept his distance. “Hi, Mittens. I know it’s not your fault your mommy can’t name pets for shit.”
In reaction to his unwanted attention, Mittens swatted at him, hissed, and ran back under the bed, mirroring my own slightly offended reaction.
“Wow, she’s not too friendly, huh?”
“She’s angry cause you made fun of her name,” I answered simply, wheeling around and shutting the light off before walking back down the hall, concluding the tour.
“She agrees with me,” Dexter grumbled, turning around to follow me. “The poor thing’s embarrassed.” Although I couldn’t see him, I was certain he shook his head as he muttered, “Mittens.”
“Well, what would you name a cat?” I challenged.
“Easy!” he exclaimed without missing a beat, “I wouldn’t have a fucking cat.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Are you ready to go, you pet heathen?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m ready to leave, but I am not a pet heathen. I am a cat heathen. You bring me a watchdog or a bearded dragon, you’ve won me over…instantly,” with the comment, his eyes illuminated and he sneered.
I burst out laughing as we reached the front door of my house.
“A dog or a lizard are your two animals of choice? What the hell?”
“Is that a problem?” he asked in a suave, overtaking manner.
I felt my stomach churn with excitement as I was struck by the intimacy of his gaze.
Instantly, I looked away and blushed, hoping that my reaction wasn’t too obvious.
“No. There’s no problem. I wasn’t expecting you to say that with such…certainty, is all.”
“So, you think I’m indecisive?” he jeered, arching a sarcastic eyebrow as he eased himself through the door and offered me his arm.
“Dex, you are indecisive. That is a fact that everyone knows about you.”
He chuckled but allowed the playful darkening of his eyes to give the necessary response.
I took his arm, almost defiantly, and as my gaze stared into his, in that moment, something changed.
&
nbsp; We were no longer two adults with the weight of the world crushing down upon us. We no longer had the influence of our parents weighing on our minds or the consequences that come with this date.
It was just us; Dex and Mazie, walking out the door to go to dinner.
I knew the feeling would only last a moment, but the enjoyment of having so many pretenses stripped away was a magnificent reprieve from all the insecurity that plagued us.
However, when we made it to his car, a flashy Aston Martin with sleek leather seats, everything I tried to hang onto about us being kids had suddenly dissipated. In its place, the disconcerting feeling that the two of us couldn’t be more different started to creep in.
I hesitated as Dexter slid around me in an effort to open the passenger door.
Backing up, as though easing away from the cavern that separated our life paths, my eyes grew wide, and I stiffened.
Oh my God! What the hell am I doing? I thought, suddenly overcome with panic.
“Mazie, you okay?” Dexter asked, turning toward me and narrowing his eyes with wonderment.
“Yeah…” I offered, though I wasn’t completely sure.
His words had stopped me from retreating any further into my own mind but my thoughts continued to focus on the differences between the two of us rather than the playful innocence that I found in my first crush.
“You don’t look okay.”
“I’m sorry, I’m fine. It’s a little strange, being out with you, after all this time,” I answered, trying not to lie without telling him that I was feeling the daunting gape in our social class and was suddenly unsure if I wanted to rise back to his level.
After all, either way, whether we hit it off or crashed and burned, there would be an exceptional amount of aggravation associated with our being together at all.
“I know what you mean,” he responded, sounding genuine and surprising me. He must have been able to read my thoughts in my expression because Dexter elaborated as he reached for the door handle, “It’s weird for me too, Mazie, but it’s great to see you. I can be myself around you, and that doesn't happen all that often anymore.”
I nodded with understanding. While I chose a career path that allowed me to be myself, mine and Dexter’s family had to forgo most individuality to fit into the cookie-cutter business executive that the professional world demanded.
I grinned as I lowered myself into the car, still unclear as to whether I was doing the right thing.
This is your life, Mazie, I decided finally. Own it! You’ve been waiting for this opportunity your entire life. There’s no turning back now, lest you regret it.
“So, where do you want to go? Do you need to go somewhere where no one will see us together, or are you alright with the idea that gossip is simply idle shit?”
There was something in his tone that made me pause, wondering if he was more aware of what I was thinking than he let on and if he was, my gut was telling me he was offended.
“No,” I snickered, trying to force all the negativity out in lieu of enjoying my evening. “That’s not it at all. I got all dressed up. Of course I want to go somewhere nice with you!”
As he started the car and pulled away from my building, I could have sworn I saw his shoulders relax.
“That’s good, because I have to say, Mazie, you look awesome, and I would be honored to have the opportunity to show you off.”
I giggled and playfully hit his arm.
“Stop it, Dex. We’re going to dinner.”
“That’s it, only dinner?” His eyebrows arched as his gaze slid over to momentarily slide down my profile before returning his full attention to the road. “You know,” he insisted before I had a chance to answer, “Just because you caught me in a slightly compromising position isn’t the only reason I asked to take you to dinner.”
“Oh?” I teased. “I’m sure you’re right. Your father will love hearing all about how you landed yourself on Santa’s throne at the mall.”
“Jesus Christ!” Dexter exclaimed, “Just because that’s not the reason doesn’t mean that isn’t a reason! Seriously, I thought my secret would be safe with you no matter what.”
I wasn’t sure if he had caught on to my teasing or not from his immediate response, but if he didn’t, since I didn’t intend to tell anyone anyway, I figured he deserved to sweat it out a little.
“Alright, Dex…Let’s see how dinner goes before I make any solid decisions.”
“I really hope you’re kidding,” he offered, trying to sound lighthearted, but I could tell he was slightly nervous.
“We’ll see…” I jeered, loving the ability to make him nervous. “Dazzle me, Dexter, and you might just get your wish.”
“You should know by now, Ms. Mazie, you shouldn’t challenge me in such a way.”
“Oh, I think your mile-high ego can take it.”
He laughed, and I sat back against the leather seats wearing a smirk and the two of us settled into a silence that should have been uncomfortable but wasn’t.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Dexter turned to me with a knowing sneer.
“Will this suit you?”
Although, I was already grinning.
“Why do you bother even asking this question?” I asked in a way that I meant to be lighthearted but came out more ungrateful, even though that wasn’t my feeling at all.
In fact, I was flattered, though I thought it was strange that he had remembered my favorite, obscure upscale restaurant. After everything that I knew he had to remember on a daily basis, it was odd that he had remembered this simple detail about someone he hadn’t seen in two years.
Easy, Mazie, I thought as I stepped out of the car, readying my palate for delicious, upscale Thai cuisine. He kisses people’s asses for a living.
However, I didn’t want to think this way. I wanted to think, even for a moment, that I was special to him. I wanted to live in the fairytale of the thought process that had brought me this far; the one that stated we were destined to be together.
Still, I wasn’t naïve enough to pretend that the wish was anything more than a schoolgirl crush. However, for the moment, I wanted to put my faith in it, even if it was short-lived.
After all, this was the most exciting thing that had happened to me in a long while, and I wanted to take full advantage of the experience.
“How could I forget?” Dexter said with a grin as he met me at the front of the car and offered his arm. “Your favorite food is Thai.”
“Thanks!” I replied, genuinely excited as I wrapped my arm around his.
We went inside and sat down. The restaurant was quiet, even though most of the tables were full. The ambiance of the dining area was majestic and serene, which was probably part of the reason I liked it so much. Growing up, everything was always hectic, and uncertainty was a daily occurrence. With my father’s job, he could be pulled away at any time so making plans that involved my father was difficult.
However, this was his favorite place to eat and every month, as a family, we would all go to have dinner, and he would make sure that he was unavailable during the time we were eating dinner.
When I knew we were coming here, I knew that we would actually be able to enjoy one another’s company and we wouldn’t have to leave in the middle of the meal.
Thus, it quickly became my preferred place to eat, which allowed us to come a little bit more often.
Of course, it was doubtful I had ever told Dexter that. He would’ve simply laughed at me, growing up. I was always the sensitive, sentimental one and although my friends understood, that didn’t stop them from teasing me about it, and Dexter was the worst.
Still, even as an adult, I ordered the same thing I did when we came here while I was growing up.
“I’ll have the Pla Preow Wa,” I told the waiter when he came around and ignored the strange expression I received from Dexter adding, “Actually, could you make that two, please?”
Dexter narrowed his eyes but didn’t spea
k until the waiter left our table.
“I can order for myself, you know,” he grumbled, and I laughed.
“I was only trying to help.”
Instead of a quip, Dexter returned with a serious, genuine grin.
“Yeah, you always were the one who was trying to help out of our group. While everyone else was looking out for number one, you were looking out for us all, with little regard for yourself.”
“Well, it wasn’t like I had a perilous childhood.”
“No, but you did take the fall for us kids a few times…”
“With stupid stuff,” I offered as consolation.
“Still…” Dexter argued, “With how much you watched out for your friends and tried to do the right thing, it’s kind of funny that you’re the one who never fell into the trap of doing what your parents wanted of you.”
I felt my shoulders rise and fall, unconcerned.
“Are you kidding, my father has Laura. He’s good. When she proved to be more useful than I was to his legacy, my father was happy to have me out of the house.”
“That’s not true,” he insisted, but wavered under my hard stare, “Okay, well, I wouldn’t go that far. He is proud of you.”
“That, I can believe,” I answered.
“But my point, is that even if Laura hadn’t taken your place in your father’s economical legacy, you still wouldn’t have fallen in line.”
“How do you know that? You just said yourself that I’m a pushover,” I chuckled.
“No! That’s not at all what I said,” he corrected quickly, narrowing his eyes playfully. “What I said, was that you took the fall for us so that we didn’t get in trouble. That was oddly endearing. Although, I hope that even if your parents had pushed, you would have had enough sense to walk away.”
As he spoke, Dexter shrugged, as though he had no idea what he was talking about, but stopped to deeply examine my face. His eyes pierced deeply into my gaze.
The intensity of his stare only lasted a moment but it was nearly overwhelming. I felt as though he was delving deep into my soul. It felt as though he was searching for something, pulling something from deep inside me, that I wasn’t even aware I possessed.
