“Okay, thanks,” I tell him, but doubt weighs in my mind.
Foster once told me he struggled with nightmares and thoughts of darkness for quite a while before he finally gained control over them enough to block them out. If there was some sort of magical cure that could completely block darkness out of an elemental enchanter’s mind, his mom probably would’ve used it on him a long time ago.
He places a hand against my cheek. “I promise everything’s going to be okay. Easton and me will do everything in our power not to let darkness get to you. You know that, right?”
I nod. I do know for a fact Foster and Easton will do everything they can to protect me, because the link will make sure of that. Plus, they already did when darkness tried to get me that day we were at the school.
That’s not the only reason, though, that I know they’ll protect me. I can feel it through the link. Feel that they care about me. I still can’t quite understand why. We barely know each other. But ever since the incident when I was locked up in the room of darkness and it momentarily took over my mind, the link has felt different. Foster told me it has been slightly altered because of what happened, but he’s been pretty vague on the specific details as to how. All he’s told me was that some of my power leaked into him and his brothers and it’s making their powers energized. But it feels as if there’s more to it than that, like there’s something he isn’t telling me.
Sparks flutter across my skin as he skims his finger along my cheekbone, appearing sort of dazed.
“Can I ask you a question?” I say.
“You can ask me anything,” he murmurs distractedly.
What’s got him distracted is beyond me, but I focus on asking my question.
“What exactly is going on with the link? I mean, I know you said it’s altered, but sometimes I feel like… Well, it’s almost like when we first created the link and I could feel what you guys were all feeling. It’s not as intense, but still… It’s weird.” I contemplate whether or not I should confide in him about the feelings of guilt I experience, especially when he’s kissed me. But I worry it might upset him—
Panic abruptly zaps through the link.
“You’re worried,” I state, eyeing him over. Dark strands of his hair are a bit askew and his lightning blue eyes are crammed with worry. “What is it?”
“Nothing’s wrong. I promise,” he tries to promise but the panic increases, sizzling under my flesh.
I slowly shake my head to the side as I study him. “You’re lying to me about something.”
Remorse mixes with the panic, his fingers sliding across my arm and lacing with my fingers. “Sky, I’m really not. I swear.” The panic in the link simmers down to a lull. “I’m just… This whole thing with the altered link… It’s complicated.”
“I know. I can feel that it is.”
“What exactly do you feel? I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
I hesitate. “I feel what you guys are feeling sometimes.”
“Yeah, I figured you did.” He pauses, nervousness creeping across his features. “Is there anything else going on?”
I don’t want to answer, don’t want to tell him about the guilt I felt when he kissed me a handful of days ago. But as if my mouth as taken on a mind of it’s own, as if a spell has been cast over me—or maybe the link is forcing me to admit the truth—my lips part.
“When you kissed me… I felt kind of guilty about it. It was almost like I was cheating on your brothers.” I fidget with the hem of my damp shirt. “I’m not sure why. It’s not like I think of them like that... I’m just confused.” God, I’m the worst person in the worlds.
His expression softens as he skims his finger along the inside of my wrist. “I’m sure it’s because of the altered link. It’s probably messing with your emotions. From what my brothers have told me, it’s messing with theirs too.”
My lips form an o. “Why, though? Because I feel like I know nothing about this altered link other than it was altered.”
“Honestly, no one is sure exactly what’s going on. I mean, we know that ever since it was altered, my brothers and I have felt more connected to you, like the link is amplifying mine and their feelings for you and it’s messing with some of my brother’s heads, like Porter’s.”
“I remember,” I say, recalling how… Well, hungry is the word that comes to mind when I think of the look the oldest Porterson had in his eyes when he drove me home the day the link became altered.
Max had made him and Hunter get out of the car to take a breather… Now that I think about it, though, why did Hunter have to get out with Porter? Why was Max worried about him losing control? It’s not like Max seemed to be struggling with the same thing. And neither has Easton and Porter. Holden, I haven’t seen him since it happened, but still…
Who is Hunter? Could my dreams be right about him?
No, there’s no way. Vampires don’t even exist… Do they?
I’m about to ask, but Foster continues on.
“They can also feel your emotions and powers, and I think that might be messing with their heads.” A frown forms on his pretty lips. “I really wish Hunter was here so we could get the link fixed.” He sighs. “I’m starting to wonder if the reason things are getting intense around here is because the link is intensifying everyone’s emotions.”
I shiver as he sketches his finger along the inside of my wrist again, but I wonder if the feeling belongs to me or if it’s because of the link. Sure, I was attracted and drawn to Foster before the link was altered, but how much of what I’m feeling now is real? I want it to be true—I want to feel this way—but it’s hard to tell with so much magical influence controlling the situation.
“So basically you’re saying the reason I feel guilty when I kiss you is because of the link?” I ask. “And that my feelings aren’t real?”
He swiftly shakes his head, his hand returning to my cheek. “Most of what you’re feeling is real—I swear. Except for maybe the guilt. But that could be real too…” He leaves the unspoken question hanging in the air, his eyes searching mine.
I want to comfort him, tell him everything will be okay, that I know my feelings of guilt are being caused by the altered link, but the words refuse to leave my lips. Again, I’m uncertain if that’s because of the link or if I really am questioning my feelings toward him. Not that I believe I have feelings for all of the Porterson brothers. I mean, I’ve barely talked to Hunter and Porter, and Holden has been hot and cold toward me. Max has been pretty sweet, except for when he’s using his mind controlling powers on me. And then there’s East… My feelings for him confuse me. He drives me crazy most of the time and he’s always challenging me. Honestly, he gets under my skin in a way I don’t fully understand.
As Foster presses his lips together, I become painfully aware that more than likely my conflicting emotions are trickling down the link, so I rein them in.
Back before I found out I was an elemental enchanter, I use to be a pro at turning off my emotions. Ever since I met the Porterson brothers, though, I’ve struggled with it. And the altered link is making it even more difficult.
Foster swallows hard. “ Do you feel guilty every time I kiss you?”
God, I don’t want to answer that.
Lie, Sky. Lie to him.
Although, he’ll probably know if I do…
“I… I don’t know…”
He slips out his tongue to wet his lips, his gaze lowering to my mouth. “Maybe we should try it again and see. That is, if you don’t mind trying.”
Guilt briefly sweeps through me, but I hastily stifle it and remain motionless. “Yeah… We can do that.” Because while my emotions may be conflicted, I also want to kiss him.
Small bolts of lightning flash in his pupils as he leans in, his gaze dancing between my eyes and my lips. My eyes…My lips… My eyes—
His lips brush mine and sparks hum across my flesh as I moan and he does the same, deepening the kiss, his hands sliding to my waist. I
kiss him back, our tongues tangling, and heat blasts through my body, sharp yet wonderful.
For a wonderful, amazing moment, the kiss is perfect, but then that damn guilt prickles through me and my muscles ravel. Foster stiffens, then jerks back, gasping for air, his chest rising and crashing as he breathes raggedly. Lightning is crackling across his tattooed arms and panic courses through the link.
“Sky, I...” He takes a deep breath, then another, trying to calm down.
But the more he seems to try the more worked up he gets.
I’m about to ask him if he’s okay when sharp images suddenly pierce through my mind. Images of memories I’m fairly certain don’t belong to me.
“What’s happening?” I whisper, blinded by the images.
I can’t see anything as the memories consume my senses. Foster doesn’t respond, his grip tightening on my waist, his fingers trembling. I think he might be losing control of his projecting thoughts and emotions ability and accidentally letting them slip into me. At least I think it’s an accident. I’m not sure why he’s losing control, but I think the kiss may have had something to do with it.
“Sky…” His voice is an echo as memories of him and I kissing flash through my mind, of his hands wandering across my body, of the want consuming him as he tastes my lips.
But ultimately those images fade into darkness, swirling around and taking the shape of Foster and Max standing in the foyer of their home back in the human world.
“Are you sure he’s dead?” Max asks Foster, giving a quick glance at the stairway.
Foster nods, sadness and worry haunting his eyes. “I’m positive. No one else knows, though, so if we play this carefully, no one besides us has to find out.”
“What’re you suggesting?” Max asks with a cock of his brow. “That we hide the body and don’t report it?”
“I know it’s not ideal, but it might be our only option…” He swallows hard. “If anyone finds the body and figures out the cause of death, they’ll not only find out what Sky is, but she’ll be handed over to the elemental protectors authority and more than likely she’ll end up in the underworld prison. Or she’ll be forced to use her powers for who knows what.” His fingers curl into fists, tension waving through his body. “I can’t let her end up like that.”
With his lips pressed together, Max nods. “I know. Neither can I.”
Foster shakes his head. “I fucking hate this. I never should’ve let this happen. I should’ve watched her closer. If I had, none of this would be happening.”
Max puts a hand on Foster’s shoulder. “This isn’t your fault. You can’t keep an eye on someone all the time.”
Foster lifts his head. “If I hadn’t been a dick to so many people, Brody would’ve never gone after Sky to get to me.”
“Relax, little brother.” Porter appears at the top of the stairway, dressed head to toe in black, his lavender eyes darker than they usually are. “This will all work out if you just relax.”
Foster throws him an icy look. “How the hell am I supposed to relax when Sky could be arrested for murder and her powers could get discovered?” He lowers his voice to a mutter. “And even if this does all work out, she’s still linked to all of you.” His iciness melts a droplet as he sighs. “And eventually I’m going to have to tell her that her kiss killed Brody…” He stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans “This is going to destroy her.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell her then,” Max suggests, reaching for a jacket on the coatrack. “I know it’s not ideal to keep secrets from her, but with everything going on… It might be better if we don’t tell her. Or at least wait awhile.”
Foster mulls over what he said with a frown. “I hate the idea of keeping secrets from her, but I think you might be right. There’s too much other shit going on right now and I worry that learning about Brody might push her over the edge. And with her not being able to control her powers very well, she could end up losing control completely.”
“I’m going to have to disagree with you,” Porter says as he starts down the stairs. “It’s better if you tell her now and let her embrace her pain now instead of later. Plus, she’ll hold it against you if she finds out you kept this from her.” He stops at the bottom of the stairway.
Foster shakes his head. “Sky isn’t like you, Porter. She’s more fragile.”
“Are you sure about that?” Porter questions with a curve of his brow. “You barely know her. And from what I’ve felt through the link, she’s stronger than I think you sometimes give her credit for. And I can tell she’s not a fan of lies.”
“I know her better than you do,” Foster snaps, backing toward the kitchen, his gaze sliding to Max. “You’ll take care of the body, right?” he asks and Max nods. “And please make sure to bury it where no one will find it.”
“I will,” Max promises with a nod…
I jerk away from the memory, blinking wildly as I struggle to process what I just saw.
Brody is dead.
I killed him.
Oh my God…
“I killed Brody?” I say through gasping breaths.
Lightning snaps across the ceiling and flashes across Foster’s face. Thunder booms a second later, making the floor quiver.
Foster pales. “Sky, I…”
I step back from him as clouds cover the ceiling and rain showers down on us. “Oh my God, I’m a killer… I killed someone.” Guilt crushes my chest, rips the air from my lungs, sends a tremor of pain through my body.
From the day I realized I had powers, I worried that eventually I might accidentally hurt somebody. And now that it’s happened… The pain… the guilt… the fear that I might do it again… It’s too much. I can’t take it…
“Brody was a terrible creature,” Foster says, inching toward me, his movements slow and cautious. “And it’s not like you tried to kill him. It was an accident. An accident that Brody did to himself by forcing himself on you. You need to understand that. That this isn’t your fault.”
“It doesn’t matter how it happened.” A darkness roars through my chest and heavy clouds cover the ceiling, along with a sheet of ice.
Wind sweeps through the cabin next, knocking over lamps and portraits on the walls.
Foster skims the madness and worry fills his eyes. “I know you’re upset, but you need to calm down.” His eyes dart down to my hands. “Now, okay? If you don’t…”
The howling of the wind and the grumbling of thunder drown out his words. The entire house begins to tremble, the floor shaking beneath my feet. I glance down, worried the floor is going to crack apart, but my gaze gets snagged on my arms.
Covering my flesh is a layer of thick, grey smoke.
“What is this?” I whisper as I raise my hands in front of me, my fingers trembling as I take in the sight.
“It’s… It’s darkness.” He looks horrified, his eyes wide as he starts to reach for me. But he pulls back when I flinch. Fear flames down the link, yet he manages to speak evenly. “Sky, I know it’s hard, but you need to calm down. Don’t let darkness take you over.”
No, let go, Sky, darkness whispers in my head. Let the pain go. Let darkness take it away from you.
I throw my hands over my ears. “Get out of my head!”
Foster shouts something, but I can’t hear him over the voice in my head.
I sink to the icy floor and coldness seeps through my bones, chilling my already cold body.
Chilling everything until I feel nothing.
Easton
I’ve been struggling a lot over the last week for reasons I’m pretending don’t exist. I’ve always been good at that sort of stuff. Pretending I’m okay when I’m not. Pretending that nothing happened to me the goddamn day five years ago.
Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.
I’ve been doing it for years and I’m damn good at it. At least I thought so, but then Sky moved in with my family, and now I feel like I’m constantly tumbling out of control. Soon, I’m going to crash.
But that might be a good thing. Maybe it’ll break me apart permanently. Then I won’t have to keep on pretending I’m someone I’m not. The funny twin. The mischievous one. The one who gets into trouble and doesn’t care about anything. The flirt. The one that’s had it so easy.
Things have been this way since Foster and I were kids and my parents discovered he was an elemental enchanter. Because they knew he would be cursed with some intense power and a potential life of sheer loneliness, they gave him extra attention. When we were younger, I felt bad for him and tried not to be bothered with how much time my parents spent worrying about him. And because my life was pretty great, it never really did bother me. But then the incident happened that destroyed my life and I started struggling to remain the upbeat, positive guy that I was. Then Sky entered our lives and I started to envy my brother. But at least the envy erased some of the pain I constantly felt, the shame, the guilt.
It’s not like I’m in love with Sky or anything. I’m attracted to her. She’s gorgeous and doesn’t even know it. I like her personality and her snarkiness. That turns me on more than it probably should. She’s also extremely tough. Deep down, I know I want her, which is a new feeling for me. While I flirt and joke around, I’ve never felt much of a desire to be in a relationship, the broken parts of me refusing to let me go there. I accepted a long time ago that I wasn’t going to end up with anyone, that my messed up mind would doom me to a lifetime spent alone. But then Sky came along and I… Well, I’m not really sure what’s going on with my feelings toward Sky.
Blowing out a sigh, I flop down on the bed. I’ve spent a lot of time in my room since we got stuck in this world, mostly to escape the feelings that emerge whenever I’m around Sky. Feelings I can’t decipher. Or maybe it’s just that I don’t want to decipher them because they’re pointless, since I can never actually act on them. Not only because I’m too messed up and just thinking about being intimate with someone has me wanting to throw up, but because Sky is Foster’s. Plus, a relationship with her could never go anywhere, at least not without me dying. Although, sometimes I wonder if it’d be worth it. One amazing kiss that would put me out of my internal misery from that goddamn day that constantly itches under my skin. Just thinking about it now, makes my head throb…
Iridescent Chaos: (Enchanted Chaos, Book 3) Page 3
