I turn back to the bed and, staring at Forest, there’s a painful twinge in my chest. It’s as if there’s a hollow space, and it just keeps growing.
“I love you, Forest,” I whisper. “More than you’ll ever know.”
Letting out a hopeless breath, I turn off the light and pull his door shut behind me.
Needing a glass of water before I take a shower and climb into bed, I walk back to the kitchen. I jump with fright when I find Noah in front of the fridge.
He frowns at me. “Did you just get in?”
“Yeah, I lost track of time,” I explain as I grab a bottle of water. “God, my eyes feel like sandpaper.”
“Want some eye drops?”
My gaze snaps to Noah. “Do you have some?”
“Yeah.” He walks to his room then comes back with the bottle. “Tip your head back.”
I do as he says, and when he’s put a couple of drops in each eye, Noah says, “Keep them closed for a minute.”
“You must’ve gotten a lot of experience helping Kao,” I mention while I wait for a minute to pass.
“You have no idea,” he mutters, drawing a smile from me.
When I blink, my eyes feel so much better.
“What’s this?” Noah asks, and I watch as he checks the containers. The frown returns to his forehead. “You didn’t eat?”
I shrug again. “Lost track of time, remember?”
Noah’s eyes sharpen on me. “I heard Kennedy is back.”
“Yeah.” I take a couple of sips from my water bottle. “Great news, right?”
“Is it?” he asks as he comes to lean back against the counter next to me. He crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m no expert, but I’ve seen a hell of a lot between these walls, and keeping your feelings to yourself never ends well for either party involved.”
I pull a face and pretending I have no idea what Noah is talking about, I ask, “What are you talking about? Who has feelings for who?”
Noah’s gaze sharpens on me. “I have an IQ of hundred and sixty, remember?”
My shoulders slump. “Sometimes, feelings don’t matter.”
“Yeah? You really believe that?”
Needing for Noah to drop the subject, I lift an eyebrow at him. “Are we talking about Forest and me or you and Carla?”
Noah stares at me for a moment, then he lets out a deep breath and pushes away from the counter. “Get some sleep, Aria.”
I feel like crap for saying that to Noah, but I’m not ready to talk to anyone about my problems.
Chapter 15
FOREST
When I wake up and find the space beside me empty, I shoot up into a sitting position. It takes me a moment to remember I fell asleep working on an assignment while waiting for Aria.
I spot the laptop on my desk and notice the light was turned off and my door shut.
Worried about Aria, I quickly relieve myself and brush my teeth before I head to her room. I knock and pushing the door open, I see her bed hasn’t been slept in.
I check the time, and a frown forms between my brows.
Fuck, it’s six am. Did she paint right through the night?
I walk to the kitchen to fix myself a cup of coffee, and my eyes fall on the containers on the counter. I open them, and seeing the uneaten sandwich and cake, a sense of dread washes over me.
This is not like Aria. She’s gotten lost in her painting before, but she always ate and slept.
I get a cup of coffee and go back to my room so I can get ready for the day. While drinking the beverage, I shoot Aria a text.
F: Are you painting?
The message goes through, but she doesn’t read it. I set my phone down and go shower. When I’m dressed, I check my messages, and seeing Aria still hasn’t read the text, I tuck the device in my pocket and head out of the suite.
I stop by the restaurant to get Aria a cappuccino and cream cheese bagel before I walk to the art building.
Entering the class, I find Aria painting with her earphones in, which means she would’ve heard the text when it came through.
I set the cup and bagel down and tugging one of the earphones out, I say, “Why are you ignoring me?” Her head snaps up, and I take in the dark circles under her eyes. “What’s going on with you, Aria?”
“Nothing,” she answers, and when she lifts her hand to continue painting, I take the brush and palette from her hands.
“What the hell, Forest!”
I set them down, and feeling the first licks of anger, I pin her with a scowl. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
Aria’s face instantly becomes emotionless, as if she’s flipped a switch, and I fucking hate when she does that. “Don’t do that. We’re going to talk, and you’re going to be emotionally present.”
Her eyes narrow on me. “It’s obvious you woke up in a shitty mood. Don’t take it out on me.”
I take a step closer to her. “You haven’t eaten. You barely slept. You ignore my messages.” I lean into her. “And I’m the one who’s in a shitty mood? What the fuck?”
Aria gets up and takes a step back away from me. “Yeah, maybe this thing between us isn’t working anymore.”
Shock ripples over me. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs. “We should’ve stuck to being friends.”
“Hell, no,” I snap. I close the distance between Aria and me, and grabbing hold of her, I crash my mouth to hers. I show Aria this wasn’t a mistake, that we work, and that we are far from over.
When I pull back, we both take a moment to breathe, and then I say, “I know Kennedy being back is one hell of a shock, but it doesn’t mean anything. Me and you,” I gesture between us, “is all that matters to me.”
Aria stares at me for a moment, then she sits down, shaking her head. “I saw how happy you were to see her. It’s kind of hard to forget how in love the two of you were.”
“Were,” I exclaim. “It’s been a year, Aria.”
She only shrugs. “Don’t mind me. I’m just tired.”
Turning to her workspace, I wipe her paintbrush off and place it in the jar to soak. I pick up her bag and shrug it over my shoulder, then grab the beverage and bagel. “Come on.”
Aria doesn’t argue, and when she gets up, I hand her the cappuccino. I take her free hand and linking our fingers, I pull her out of the classroom and head for our dorm. I only stop when we walk into my bedroom.
I set everything down, then turn to Aria. “Get in bed.”
She kicks off her sneakers and sits down on the edge of the mattress. Her shoulders slump, and it has me crouching in front of her.
“Talk to me, babe,” I urge her to open up to me.
Aria shakes her head, sucking in a trembling breath.
Tilting my head, I ask, “Since when do we keep secrets from each other?”
She lifts her eyes to mine, and they look bruised. She brings her hand to my jaw, then murmurs, “You’re the most amazing person I know.”
“Then tell me what’s going on.”
The corner of her mouth lifts, and she rubs her eyes tiredly. “Everything just caught up to me. The workload, the expectations.”
“So, it’s not us?” I ask.
“No.”
“Everything you said about us not working? What was that about?”
She shrugs again. “Me overreacting. You know how I get when Aunt Flo tap dances over my ovaries.”
Getting up, I push her back so she’ll lie down. “I’ll get you a hot pack.”
I go to her room and grab the hot pack and warm it in the microwave. When I get back to my room, I shut the door behind me. Reaching the bed, I sit down on the side and press the pack over her abdomen. “Anything else I can get you?”
Aria’s chin quivers, and she whispers, “A hug.”
I step out of my shoes and lay down beside her. Pulling her into my arms, I press a kiss on the top of her head, then mumble, “For the record. I hate Aunt Flo.”
She lets out a chuckle.
“That makes two of us.”
I turn her onto her side and begin to rub her lower back. “Get some sleep. I’ll wake you up for your lecture at ten.”
“Okay.” She snuggles against me, and having her in my arms with things fine between us again, I let out a relieved sigh.
ARIA
It feels like I’m watching a train wreck, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I feel downright bipolar.
My eyes are glued to Kennedy, where we’re all having lunch. Her bright smile. Her deep green eyes. Her hair looks like golden waves.
“Do you remember those god-awful matching shirts we got?” Kennedy asks Forest.
He chuckles. “Yeah, I still don’t know why you thought bright yellow was a good idea.”
They both laugh at the memory.
I lower my eyes to the salad in front of me, unable to watch them reminiscing a second longer.
This morning I tried to gather the guts to break up with Forest, but I couldn’t go through with it.
I suck in a breath of air, everything in me feeling numb and fragile.
Forest’s hand suddenly grips mine, and my head snaps up. He leans into me. “Let’s go.”
Nodding, I get up, and I force a smile to my face as I say, “See you later, guys.”
When we step out of the restaurant, Forest stops, and framing my face, he begins to lean down.
“Forest,” I hear Kennedy. “Shit… ahh…”
I pull away from him, and somehow I manage to smile at Forest and Kennedy. “I have to get to class.”
I walk away from them and try my best not to look back, but fail miserably, and when I glance over my shoulder, I see Kennedy smiling at Forest, her hand on his bicep.
The sight sends me spiraling further into the dark hole that’s consuming every bit of happiness I ever shared with Forest.
Somehow I’ve managed to regain control over my emotions the past couple of days. I’m doing my best to pretend nothing is wrong. Still, every time Kennedy touches Forest, or they hug or laugh about some memory of when they were in love, it guts me wide open.
At least my painting is practically done, and I think it’s the only reason I haven’t lost my mind yet. Pouring my emotions out on the canvas has provided me with an outlet.
I stare at the trees with light bleeding through them until I see the couple kissing in the shadows. I tilt my head to get a better angle and noticing a smudge, I lean forward to fix it.
I let out a deep breath and decide to call it a day. I pack up my things and shrug my bag over my shoulder, and pulling out my phone, I send Forest a text.
A: Dinner?
He responds quickly.
F: Already at the restaurant. What should I order for you?
A: The biggest slice of chocolate cake.
A: Scratch that. Just get me the whole cake.
F: Get your sexy ass over here so I can get my daily dose of food porn.
I grin, and tucking my phone back in my pocket, I make my way out of the art building. The campus is quieter, with it being a Sunday evening. When I walk into the restaurant, and I see the cake waiting on our table, I let out a burst of laughter.
Forest’s head snaps up, and he grins at me. “Big enough?”
I first lean down to press a kiss to his mouth, then murmur, “Yeah, but it’s not half as big as you.”
As I sit down, Forest places his hand on my thigh and gives me a squeeze. “How long until Aunt Flo hits the road?”
“Hopefully, by tomorrow.” I load a slice of cake onto a side plate then gesture for the waiter to take the rest of the cake back. Picking up a fork, I break off a piece of the dessert and hold the first bite to Forest’s lips. “Open up.”
He takes the bite, then presses a quick kiss to my lips.
I shove a forkful of chocolaty goodness into my mouth and let out a moan when the creamy sweet taste hits my tongue.
“Yeah, now that’s what I’m talking about,” Forest teases me. “Food porn at its best.”
“Hey, guys,” Kennedy says, and then she sits down next to Forest.
My good mood flies out the window at the speed of light, but I keep the smile on my face. “Hey.”
“What a week,” she sighs. “But I’m finally caught up with the work I missed.”
“Good for you,” I say as I reach for a glass of water.
As I take a sip, Kennedy turns to Forest. She reaches up to his face, and in horror, I watch as she wipes a freaking smudge of chocolate from the corner of his lips before she pops her finger in her mouth. “Mhh… so good.”
She did not… holy shit… what the hell?
Everything I’ve managed to suppress hits me like a tsunami. My heart cracks wide open, and my lungs refuse to breathe as I slip back to the past…
After school, I go to Eli’s house so we can hang out. The butler lets me in, and I take the stairs up to his room. I go in, and as I shut the door behind me, my eyes land on the bed, and I see Eli pounding into Taytum from behind.
The sight is sickening, and I make a gagging noise, drawing their attention.
“Oh, look who’s here,” Eli says breathlessly while he continues to thrust his cock into Taytum. “You’re just…” Thrust. “In…” Thrust. “Time.”
In horror, I watch him orgasm. He pulls out of her and slumps down on the bed. Disgust wells in my chest as I watch him remove the condom.
“Mhh… so good,” Taytum moans. She lies down on her back, not caring that I’m seeing her naked.
I’m still frozen in horror as Eli begins to fondle Taytum’s breasts. He sneers at me. “Now, this is a woman. I don’t have time for a virgin crying because it hurts when I fuck her.”
Traumatized, I take a step backward from Eli’s cruel words and the disgusting scene before me.
“Aria,” I hear Forest’s voice, but it sounds like he’s thousands of miles away.
It feels as if walls are closing in on me, and I try to take a breath but only manage to make a strangled sound. I see Forest’s lips move, but I can’t hear anything.
Somehow I get up and walk away from the table as fast as I can. The moment I’m out of the restaurant, I break out into a run. I try to get away from the intimate image I just witnessed, but it only brings back memories of Kennedy and Forest when they were dating.
Memories of Eli and Taytum.
My stomach churns as my past and my present collide.
Forest used to kiss her, touch her, make love to her.
The memories use my heart as a punching bag until the ache is so intense it feels as if I’m being torn in two.
Fingers clamp around my arm, and I’m yanked back against a solid body. “I’m sorry,” I hear Forest. His arms come around me, and he holds me tightly. “I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t know she was going to do that.”
I manage to suck in a breath of air and somehow find the strength to pull free from his arms. It feels like I’m stuck in a daze of pain as I lift my eyes to his and hiss, “You were supposed to be different.”
Forest tries to reach for me, but I step back, and then I see Kennedy walking towards us.
When he opens his mouth to say something, I shake my head. Everything is just too much to process. My eyes settle on Forest’s, and I whisper, “You were supposed to be the one.”
I turn away from him and walk back to the art building, to the one thing that’s the only constant left in my life.
Chapter 16
FOREST
Needing time to process how fast the night went to shit, I don’t go after Aria but instead head to the dorm.
“Forest,” I hear Kennedy call, but she’s the last person I have time for right now. Walking into the building, I skip the elevator and take the stairs up to the suite.
When I get to my bedroom, I slam the door shut behind me and pace up and down the length of my room.
Fuck.
Just… fucking fuck.
Part of me is angry at Aria for obviously not trusting me. She didn’t
even bother giving me a chance to fix things.
‘It shouldn’t have happened in the first place,’ my mind snaps at me.
I close my eyes at the frustration bubbling up in me. I can’t catch a fucking break. Aria wanted to keep our relationship a secret, pretending that it was still fake. If it was up to me, the whole world would’ve known by now.
My mind keeps racing from one thing to the next, only driving the realization home that things are so fucking bad, I don’t know how I’m going to fix it.
I finally manage to calm down, and walking out of the suite, I go look for Kennedy. Luckily, I find her in the restaurant with Carla and Mila.
“Kennedy, can I talk to you.” I gesture to the entrance. “Outside.”
“Sure.” She excuses herself, and I ignore Carla’s frown as I turn and head back out of the establishment.
I walk to the side of the building, so we’re out of the way of the entrance, and turn to Kennedy. “That was not cool,” I snap. “Aria and I are in a real relationship. We just didn’t tell anyone yet.”
Shock flutters over Kennedy’s face. “How was I supposed to know that?”
Fuck, the fake relationship.
Relenting, I say, “Fair, but we haven’t seen each other in a year, Kennedy. You can’t just walk back into my life and pick up where we left off.”
Anger begins to tighten her features. “I was under the impression you’re single. We ended on good terms. Can you blame me for trying to get back what we lost?”
Movement catches my eye and glancing to my right, I watch as Carla shakes her head at me before she walks to the dorms.
Christ, now I’m in trouble with my cousin as well.
I turn my attention back to Kennedy, and taking a deep breath, I say, “Okay. I totally understand where you’re coming from, but I love Aria. I’m committed to her.”
“I get that now,” she mutters. “God, I feel like an idiot.”
“I should’ve told you sooner,” I admit. Realizing this could’ve been avoided if I had corrected Carla when she informed Kennedy that the relationship is an act, I say, “I’m sorry.”
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