by Ellen Joy
She’s still interesting.
He walked up to the front door. Smiling, he rang the bell, still reeling from pulling Katie O’Neil out of a ditch. When she opened the door, he waved. “Your vehicle’s all set. I can take either cash or credit.”
“Oh right, sorry.” She looked around the foyer and grabbed her purse from the floor.
As she dug in her bag, he looked out to the snow so he wouldn’t stare at her. He had so many questions he was dying to ask, but hesitated. He remembered hearing she worked as a graphic designer in Minneapolis. Her aunt told him about the engagement, but Vivi stayed in Florida for the winter. Why was Katie in Camden Cove, all alone on the holidays?
“Here you go,” she said, handing him her card. The large diamond sparkled from her finger.
He grabbed the card from her, his fingers slightly brushing hers. He tried to ignore the heat running up his neck as he ran the card. He noticed his path through the snow to the front door had been almost covered up by the small ice pellets spitting down. He should get off the road himself, before too long. He handed her the machine to sign. The soft light lit up her face.
“Are you staying in town long?” he asked.
She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. A lone tear fell down her face. She said nothing more, just passed the machine back to him.
Feeling more awkward at her silence, he said, “Merry Christmas. It was good seeing you again.”
She nodded only once and said as cold as the snow outside, “Merry Christmas.”
She backed away into the house and shut the door.
He shook his head as he walked back to his truck. He turned and snuck one last peek back at the house, but no longer saw her.
“Welcome back, Katie.”
AS SOON AS SHE SHUT the door, she checked her phone.
Nothing.
Her body shook against the front door. Her chest heaved up and down hard as she tried to maintain control, and it hurt. She hurt everywhere. Every muscle was sore from holding in her worst fear.
He had really left her.
He hadn’t called or texted. Even if she was having a temper tantrum, going on their vacation alone, didn’t he want to know if she was okay? Didn’t he care about her anymore? Or had he completely cut her out of his life?
She went straight into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of whiskey her aunt kept above the oven. She didn’t bother with a glass, just took a straight pull from the mouth of the bottle. She put the whiskey on the counter and slid down against the cabinets, sitting on the floor. The snow from her boots created a puddle of water on the tile and the cold wetness seeped into the seat of her pants, but she didn’t move.
Christmas Eve was tomorrow, and she would be alone. She had never spent the holidays by herself. Holidays were meant to spend time with family. Eric was supposed to be her family.
She picked herself up off the floor and went straight to the sliding doors, pulling them open. The wind and cold gusted around her as she let the snow and sounds come in. One after another, like a clock ticking off time, the waves pounded into the granite cliffs below. She had imagined this moment for so many months since planning their vacation, but never once did she picture herself standing here alone.
That’s when she saw the lights from the tree. In the corner of the room, in front of the bookshelves, a small potted pine tree sat, decorated, and with a shiny red present sitting underneath. She picked it up and read her aunt’s handwriting. “To the happy couple.”
She crumpled to her knees, dropped the gift to the floor, and let the tears fall.
Two
The sun glared off the freshly fallen snow and burned into Kate’s eyes. She tried to keep sleeping, but the nagging sickness in her stomach made her wake up. Her hand clutched her phone, and she was still in last night’s clothes. At some point, she must’ve passed out, because the Nina Simone album spun on the turntable of Gram’s record player, and all the lights were still on. Her head was killing her.
She pressed the home button on her phone. Only the time and date were displayed on top of the picture of her and Eric hiking.
She couldn’t believe he hadn’t called or at least texted her. It had been almost two days. They had never gone that long without communicating.
Until now.
Would she never talk to him again? Never hear his voice? Never feel the warmth of his breath?
When she first left their apartment, she hoped she would receive a call from him by the time she arrived at the airport in Minneapolis. He would tell her he was sorry, and that he was on his way. When it was time to board and the call hadn’t come, she hoped he’d run toward her at the gate. When she boarded the plane, she imagined he’d find another flight and text her with the details—maybe even show up at her aunt’s door, begging for forgiveness. But as the night turned into a new day, Kate’s hope vanished.
They were really over.
One last desperate thought ran through her head when she saw the snow piled halfway up the glass doors. Maybe the weather prevented him from traveling. He could be stuck in Minneapolis because of the storm. Maybe he couldn’t get hold of her.
Her phone vibrated in her hand and she jolted up.
It was ringing.
The screen read Mom’s Cell.
She turned her phone off and fell back onto the couch. She couldn’t avoid her mother forever, but she couldn’t afford to lose it again. God knew what Matt Williams thought of her after last night’s hysterics. Apparently, her trigger to lose her sanity was the word ‘minivan’.
She dropped the phone on the coffee table, wishing she had stayed in Minnesota. She had spent months convincing Eric to take time off and spend Christmas in Camden Cove. Had he been thinking about leaving her since then? Was that why he kept changing his mind?
Camden Cove might be a summer destination to most people, but Christmas was Kate’s favorite season in the small village. Lights hung around the white-trimmed windows, wreaths graced every door, and window boxes overflowed with garlands. Santa even came to town on a lobster boat instead of his sleigh. Fireworks sparkled the night with lights on New Year’s Eve. There was no better place to celebrate the holidays.
She begged Eric to go when Aunt Vivi offered them the house for the holidays. When he finally conceded, she planned everything—skiing up north, sightseeing in Boston, and New Year’s at a five-star restaurant called The Fish Market. But mostly, her plans consisted of nestling around the fireplace, listening to the ocean together. Now, her dream vacation had turned into a nightmare.
True love was as real as Santa Claus.
She leaned into a sitting position, pushed up off the couch, but immediately sat back down. Her head felt heavy, and she needed something in her stomach or she was going to be sick. With all the hurt and travel, she had forgotten to eat.
She stood up slowly, allowing her head to catch up with her body, and took a deep breath. She shuffled her way toward the kitchen. Her aunt’s warning flashed through her head as she opened the empty refrigerator. She had been in Florida for at least a month. There would be no milk or cream for her coffee. There was only dry cereal and oatmeal in the pantry. None of those options were going to work.
She needed grease. And bad.
Grabbing her ski jacket, she peeked out the front window. There had to be a few feet of snow out there and even from inside, she could tell the road hadn’t been plowed yet. The minivan, with her luggage still inside, could barely be seen under the coat of white. Her only option was to trek over the footbridge into the village. There had to be something open that could give her a cup of coffee and food to ease her stomach.
Kate rummaged through Vivi’s hall closet and found a bright yellow hat with matching pom-pom, an equally bright scarf in a different shade of yellow, and a pair of moon boots she swore were bought in the early eighties. It would do for the short walk to the village.
MATT GLIDED HIS BOAT, Maggie Mae, toward the harbor. Her bow didn’t quiver in the
choppy waters. The predicted nor’easter lived up to its reputation. On shore, white crystals shone off every surface in the sunlight. He adjusted his hat’s visor, but it did little to shade the glare from the snow.
He rubbed his hands together to warm them, letting go of the wheel for a moment. The heater in the wheelhouse didn’t help much on a day like today. He held a high respect for those who fished all year long on the Atlantic. If his mom didn’t need the lobsters for the Christmas party, he wouldn’t be hauling traps up in these icy waters after a storm.
Off in the distance, he could see another fisherman crazy enough to go out on the water. A boat he didn’t recognize. Maybe someone who lost their traps in the storm. He squinted for a better look, but couldn’t make out the name. Lobstermen rarely ran into a stranger. Everyone knew their neighbors, even on the water.
His phone vibrated in his coat pocket, distracting his thoughts. Most likely his mom, calling with instructions. Tonight was his parents’ annual holiday party, when half of Camden Cove showed up to celebrate.
His mom went all-out for the event. Hence, the lobsters she requested for her signature mac ‘n cheese. She had enlisted everyone’s help, and had probably already begun cooking when he headed out at sunrise.
Take your time, she texted. Dad says the roads aren’t cleared.
He rolled his eyes when he saw the kissing face emoji. A new trick she’d learned from his niece, Lucy. He’d head over once he pulled into the harbor.
He stuffed the phone back into his pocket, and an image of Katie O’Neil flashed through his head. Even a mess, she still looked amazing. Really amazing. Seeing her was like stepping back in time, making him feel like a teenager again.
Where was the guy from back home that Vivi had mentioned? It didn’t matter, he supposed. Wherever Prince Charming was, he was one lucky man.
He looked out at the bow of the boat, steadily leading the way toward shore, the only woman that he could count on never leaving.
He imagined how Katie might see Camden Cove. He took in the picturesque scene of the village shoreline as though he was a visitor. He couldn’t imagine living away from the water. Being landlocked would be suffocating. He needed to breathe in the ocean air and feel its dampness. Even as a small boy he knew he’d be on the ocean, instead of inside his parents’ restaurant like his brother. He didn’t think twice when the chance came to get his own boat. After he received his license, he spent everything he’d earned all those years, working twelve to fourteen-hour days busting his butt, and bought Maggie Mae. She was the most beautiful thing Matt owned, and completely worth depleting his finances, even if Justine, his ex-wife, didn’t think so.
Off in the distance, something caught his eyes. A figure navigated over the footbridge, trudging through the snow. Enough had accumulated that the four-foot railings gave little support along the structure’s sides. Who would be crazy enough to cross it? He strained to see through the sun’s rays, and finally recognized her.
Katie.
What was she doing? Trying to get killed? He held his breath as she shimmied her way across the bridge, somehow managing to arrive safely on Harbor Lane. Her feet touched the street just as he saw the plow rumbling down the one-car lane. There wasn’t much room for pedestrians even when a regular car drove through, but the plow didn’t slow down to share the road.
She jumped up onto a store’s front steps just as the truck plowed past her. Snow blasted her whole body as she stood frozen.
Then, she headed down toward the bakery. One of the only place opened in Camden Cove at this time of day.
Maybe he’d grab some breakfast before heading over to his parents’ house.
“WHAT THE HECK IS WITH the plows in this town?” Kate mumbled to herself as she pounded her feet on the pavement, removing the residual snow that clung to her thighs. Her pathetic escape from the plow made her head pound harder and her feet more numb.
She glanced around the small village street. It looked just like when she was a little girl. Christmas decorations covered the weathered buildings, wreaths and garlands hung on the doors and windows, but instead of traditional ornaments, starfish and seashells rested among branches of pine. The streetlamps were adorned with red ribbons and Happy Holidays signs. The town square’s Christmas tree was wrapped with lights.
With all the beauty surrounding her, the magic of Christmas only made her feel sicker. As she passed each storefront, she saw Closed signs hung in the windows. She peeked in the windows of the tiny bakery named La Patisserie. There sat a five-tier wedding cake decorated with a bride and groom on top.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” First the minivan, now her perfect French wedding dessert course. The universe was telling her she would die alone.
With no other choice, she opened the door. A bell chimed against the glass and alerted a man behind the counter.
“Good morning,” he said with a smile. “You braved the snow. I wasn’t sure if we should even open.”
She looked around the empty room.
“It’s pretty rough out there.” She patted the remaining snow off her jeans as she walked toward the wooden display cases. Pastries were lit by Christmas lights, with white chalked name tags nestled in front. Flaky croissants, pastel macaroons, blueberry scones all lay upon linen napkins. On top of the counter, caramelized buns with roasted walnuts sat on a silver platter. Baskets with loaves of bread and mini chocolate cakes sat on a glass stand. Melody Gardot’s tenor voice sang carols to the notes of an accordion in the background. The tiny shop felt like a real Parisian patisserie. Everything looked divine, but it was not exactly the food she was looking for. At least she could get coffee.
“Do you offer anything other than what’s on display?”
“Not usually, but what are you in the mood for?” the man asked.
She hesitated at first, but her stomach twisted and rose in her throat. “Do you have anything with grease to go with a very large cup of coffee?”
The corner of the man’s mouth lifted, and he turned toward the back. “David, whip up a New Englander!”
“A New Englander?” The kitchen door swung open. A man wiped his hands on an apron that sported a lobster in a Santa hat. “Who doesn’t want to try my Christmas Eve pain au chocolat?”
They both faced her and waited for her to respond.
She didn’t know what to say except, “I’m Kate.”
“You must be Vivi’s niece! She said she’d send you our way.” The man behind the counter offered a handshake. “I’m Frank, and this is David.”
Her stomach lurched as she forced a smile. She wasn’t sure how long she could make small talk. “Nice to meet you.”
“You’re just as beautiful as Vivi described,” David said. He also extended his hand. “We just adore your aunt.”
A smile came naturally at hearing that. Everyone fell in love with her eccentric aunt Vivi, with her spunky personality. “Yes, she’s amazing.”
Vivi had probably told the whole village she was coming to town. After breakfast, she’d stay inside the house until she flew back home—which would be as soon as she could. Staying here did nothing besides prove she was more pathetic than she ever thought.
“I’ll whip up that New Englander for you,” David said, walking back to the kitchen. “But try my pain au chocolat. You won’t be sorry.”
Frank smiled and handed her a mug. “Please help yourself.”
With a little sugar, she filled her cup with dark roast. She grabbed the thick cream and lightened the dark liquid. Taking a sip before finding a seat, she settled at the furthest table from the counter.
She silenced her phone, setting it on the table, but it buzzed and lit up with messages, killing her softly each time. Work again. The office crisis in Minneapolis had followed her to Maine, even on Christmas Eve. Twenty-four hours ago, the Merrill design catastrophe had been the worst of her problems. She’d give anything to go back in time.
Frank set a chocolate croissant in front of
her. “On the house.”
“Oh, thank you, but I couldn’t.” She pushed the plate toward him, but he stopped it with his hand.
“Anything for Vivi’s niece.” He walked away without another word.
She frowned, thinking about how long it has been since she had talked to Vivi. Too long. Every summer until she was eighteen, she had spent from Memorial Day to Labor Day in Camden Cove.
Thinking back to all those summers, she bit into the pastry and before she knew it, she licked the remaining chocolate off her fingertips. The chocolate blended right in with the buttery dough and melted in her mouth.
Off in the distance, a boat’s bell echoed in the cove, and the deep breath she had been struggling to take all morning finally came. The noose loosened around her rib cage, but tightened back up again. The more she fought, the more her lungs resisted. She focused on a red boat floating in the water.
One, two, three, but the noose only tightened.
She had become that woman.
The woman she so proudly declared she would never become.
The woman who crumbled when a man left her.
But never did she imagine her happily-ever-after to end the way it did.
“Told you.”
Her stare broke away from the boat as Frank replaced her empty plate with a new one. She tried to think of something to say, but words wouldn’t come. Instead, she faked another grin.
“Two eggs over easy, a couple of bacon strips, home fries, toast, and a small stack of pancakes.” He set the silverware next to a glass bottle of maple syrup. “Can I get you anything else?”
Her stomach’s threat to heave alleviated as soon as the aroma of the comfort food hit her nose. “No, thank you. This is more than enough.”
“Well, let us know if you do.” He turned away as the bell hit the door, alerting him to a new customer.
She grabbed the maple syrup and dumped it over her pancakes before cutting her fork into the cake heaven.
