by Ellen Joy
She almost called out his name before she realized who was standing outside the front door. Frank peeked in the side window, waving as she came closer. David stood with his back facing the door, but she could tell he was holding dishes in his hands. They were true to their word. Frank had even donned a dinner jacket.
Crap.
She had no business attending a Christmas party. They were lovely for insisting... and insisting... but even though her tears stopped flowing, sadness penetrated every ounce of her being. All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball, cocoon herself under blankets and forget about the world around her. She was not emotionally prepared to celebrate a holiday she wished would just pass by. Pretending with her mom was hard enough. She couldn’t pull it off all night with a bunch of strangers. Each time she had been in public proved that.
As she opened the door, she began her speech to excuse herself from the party. “It’s really nice of you for insisting, but I’m going to stay in—”
“Nonsense.” David walked past her into the front hall. He held a tray in both hands. “We’ve attended this Christmas party forever. If we miss it this year, oh well. You’re not spending the holiday alone.”
Frank walked in after David and hugged her limp body. He held up a gift bag and handed it to her. “Merry Christmas!”
Kate stood helpless, holding the gift in her hands, not sure what was happening around her.
David walked straight into the kitchen and turned on the oven. “Do you know where Vivi keeps her blender?”
“Um...” She had no idea. “Maybe in the pantry?”
“We wanted to make sure you were alright,” Frank said. His gaze went toward the suitcase. Clothes spilled out all around it. “Vivi would do the same.”
“I don’t think I’m up for—” The blender’s high-pitched motor interrupted her. When the motor’s scream dissipated, she said, “I’m really not in the mood.”
David walked out of the kitchen with two martini glasses filled with a white liquid. Candy cane crumbles rimmed the glass. “I call it Winter Wonderland.”
He handed her one of the glasses and gave the other to Frank. He then disappeared back into the kitchen.
She held onto the stem with both hands, hesitating. She didn’t want to give the impression that she wanted them to stay, but the cool, thick, liquid looked like a milkshake. The light peppermint aroma wafted in the air and before she realized, she took a sip. “Oh, that’s delicious.”
“There’s plenty more,” David said, as he walked back into the room with a plate of chocolate-covered truffles. He held it out in front of her and said, “They go perfectly with heartbreak.”
Kate smiled and accepted that they weren’t leaving as she held the drink, with a piece of chocolate melting in her fingers.
“May I?” Frank gestured with his drink to one of the leather armchairs.
“Please,” she said, removing her unused running clothes from the seat, throwing them back into the spilled suitcase on the floor. She set the drink and gift on the coffee table and grabbed all the loose items of clothing. “It’s very nice of you both to check in on me...”
“Once David has an idea, nothing will stop him.” Frank smiled, his look sympathetic.
She looked down at the pair of flannel pajama bottoms she had worn all day since she got back from breakfast. She wouldn’t need the black chiffon and satin dress she’d splurged on at Nordstrom’s. She usually didn’t spend that kind of money on clothes, but it was the perfect dress for the dinner she had planned for the two of them on New Year’s Eve. Dinner at a restaurant on the harbor. She had read about it in her foodie magazine and booked it months ago.
“Your aunt has one of the best views around.” David faced the sliding doors that led to the back yard. The same windows Kate had stared out of for the past eight hours.
The sun had just about set, leaving a purple haze behind the black silhouettes of Camden Cove’s businesses. Houses and trees intermingled with twinkling Christmas lights. The ocean’s shoreline gently bowed, outlining the cove. The water had turned as black as night.
“Well,” Frank said, “are you going to open it?”
She had forgotten about the gift. “Oh, right.”
From inside the bag, she pulled out a hardcover book titled, 50 Boyfriends Worse Than Yours. A smile escaped her as she saw the pleasure on Frank’s face. David turned from the view with an equally delighted expression.
“This is very nice of you.” She opened the cover and read the handwritten inscription: New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.
A small moan left her lips. She didn’t want it to be the end.
“Thanks,” she said quietly.
She picked up her drink and took a long sip, giving herself a brain freeze.
“How you holding up?” Frank asked, innocently enough, but he had no idea how the question might trigger the bomb of emotions she tried so hard to hold in.
She exhaled a deep breath before saying, “I’m figuring that out.”
David sat and pushed the plate of truffles closer to her. “You need to eat a good dinner and distract yourself from your thoughts.”
She felt the familiar prickle in her eyes. He was right. Wasn’t that the same advice that she’d had given her friends? Forget about him. Move on. She spun the stem of the glass between her fingers again. She could sit here, miserable, like she had all day. Or she could sit and eat homemade truffles. “Do you have more chocolate?”
An hour later, they had drunk their wintery drinks and eaten all the truffles. Even though she had every intention of making them leave, she enjoyed their company. David had a dry sense of humor, and Frank played along. And when the sudden jolt of reality hit her, reminding her that her life had fallen apart, their conversation provided the distraction she needed.
“How long has it been since you were last in Camden Cove?” Frank asked, as David returned to the kitchen.
“Not since I was in high school.”
She couldn’t believe it had already been more than fifteen years. The last summer before everything at home fell apart. She hadn’t even thought of the irony. The moment she stepped off the plane that summer after meeting Matt, her life completely changed with the announcement of her parent’s divorce and her father’s new family.
Both of her parents had picked her up, and they took her out to dinner and broke the news. Her father had already moved out, and into her soon-to-be-step-mother’s house. She remembered walking into their house and never feeling at home there again.
“What a beautiful dress.” He nodded at her New Year’s Eve purchase draped over the arm of the couch. “You should wear it tonight.”
The idea of putting it on made her chin quiver. She shook her head and tried to smile. “It was for New Year’s.”
His smile dropped. “You know, sometimes we don’t mean to hurt the people we love.”
Kate wiped her nose with a tissue and shook her head. “He just didn’t love me anymore. There’s no other reason he could give.”
“Men are jerks.” David walked out of the kitchen, balancing three plates of food like a professional. Frank stood and grabbed the plate resting on David’s forearm and the silverware squeezed between his arm and chest. “We think only about ourselves.”
Frank nodded in agreement, pointed his silverware at the New Year’s Eve dress and said, “Showing him you don’t give a darn, looks good in a black dress.”
AS MATT SAT IN HIS parents’ living room, he couldn’t remember how many drinks he’d had, but he contemplated whether he should hold on to something to help him stand up. He wasn’t sure how steady he was on his feet.
His cousin Jules rambled on about the lines being cut off his traps, blaming everything from jealousy over the successes of their family, to the new regulations coming from the state. “I lost fifty traps that had been soaking for only a day.”
Matt shook his head at the thousands of dollars potentially lost.
&nb
sp; “Now I have to pay for a diver if I want those traps back.”
“The real question is, who’s moving in?” his brother Jack asked.
People didn’t know much about what happened to Jules’ traps, but everyone assumed it was another lobsterman. Worse, it could be one of the many lobstermen that stood in his parents’ living room that very night.
Lobstering was a world of contrasts. They lived and breathed the water, but it was the very thing that could threaten their life. He had sailed through storms that could make a grown man cry, and yet on its calmest day, it felt like the safest place on earth. The fishing culture had changed little in the past hundred years, yet nothing seemed to stay the same—the weather, the tides, the rules and restrictions. It was the connection between all of Camden Cove’s residents, but the thing that could tear the community apart.
Fishing was the only thing he had ever wanted, and now the only thing he had.
“I saw Noah Callahan down at the docks the other day,” Jules said. “He was asking who was staying out all season.”
“Let’s not jump to conclusions.” Matt thought of the boat he saw earlier that morning. It didn’t fit the timeline, but he wondered if it had something to do with it.
Just as Matt placed his hand on the armrest to guide himself up, he saw Katie. In a black dress of the kind you saw in magazines—not in Camden Cove. She looked amazing. Her auburn hair hung down, the ends of her soft curls tucked under against her bare back. His eyes traced down to her high heels that showcased her slender legs. His heart jumped in his throat as he, and the rest of the room, checked out the newcomer.
He smiled as soon as she made eye contact. She no longer appeared as upset as before, but he could tell she was uncomfortable. He watched as David and Frank walked the room with her. The two introduced her to everyone. Some even remembered her from when she had come during the summers. Elizabeth gave her a hug and introduced Adam. He had forgotten they had been friends as kids.
But she’d always be his Katie.
He could tell Katie grew more at ease the more Elizabeth talked. Leave it to his sister to make her feel right at home. With each new person his uncles introduced, her eyes would squint as she smiled at the new face. She’d laugh at the right times and seemed genuinely interested, as though she didn’t have a care in the world. Enjoying the banter between neighbors.
He didn’t understand women.
He tried to stop looking over at her, but he couldn’t help himself. His eyes kept sneaking glances without him even knowing. Her shoulders were pulled back and she clasped a small purse in her hands. She appeared taller than she actually was. She kept pulling her hair over one shoulder. Even over the dull hum of conversation, he could hear her soft, adagio voice.
Screw it. He was going to talk to her.
As methodically as possible, Matt walked across the room to her. The only real obstacle was the dog lying in the middle of the floor. With each step, someone would turn around, and he’d get stuck in the typical pleasantries of small-town talk, like the amount of snow piling up, what his family was doing for the holidays, and what he thought about Katie O’Neil being back in town. Then the inevitable question, “How are you?” with pity in their eyes.
Katie, however, didn’t have pity. She had a smile.
“Hey, you came,” he said, once he finally reached Katie.
She took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, it was very nice of you to invite me.”
His sister’s eyebrows lifted in her meddling way. His mom, along with his uncles, had their own looks. He felt sixteen again, with everyone making cutesy faces because he was talking to a girl.
“Let me help you put out the desserts,” Sarah said to David, and disappeared into the kitchen.
Soon, another guest arrived and diverted Elizabeth’s attention. She left him and Katie standing alone.
Up close, she looked even more beautiful. The faint smell of vanilla and something else he couldn’t place, drifted in the air around her. He couldn’t contain his smile. She still looked like the young girl he’d met at the beach all those years ago collecting sea glass, only more sophisticated.
“How’ve you been?” he asked.
She bit her bottom lip, and he regretted asking, but then the corner of her mouth perked up. “Kinda crappy. You?”
He laughed. “Kinda crappy. Want a drink?”
“Yes, please.” She swept her hair around one shoulder and an urge to sniff the back of her neck came over him.
Luckily, before he did anything stupid, he turned and walked away. He shook his head all the way to the kitchen. It took a minute to collect himself as he grabbed two local IPAs, then returned to Katie.
“Merry Christmas.” He twisted off the caps and handed her one, then lifted his beer to hers.
She clinked her bottle against his. “Merry Christmas.”
After a sip, he rolled back on his heels. “So, my uncles got you here.”
He wasn’t surprised. He knew how persuasive they could be.
“They certainly don’t take no for an answer... but they’re very sweet for bringing me.” She glanced in the direction of the dining room and whispered, “I’ll probably excuse myself when they’re not looking.”
“I won’t say a word.”
He held up his hand in a scout’s honor salute, and an awkward silence lingered between the two of them. He rattled things off in his head, not sure what to say.
Then she asked, “Did you ever get a lobster boat?”
The question took him by surprise. She remembered. “Yeah, I bought one about five years ago.”
Her thumb picked at the label on her bottle. “I saw your sweatshirt this morning, and remembered how you used to always want to be a lobster fisherman.”
“How do you even remember?” Matt tried to think what else she might remember.
She shrugged. “How do you forget something like that?”
He wanted to tell her how hard she was to forget, but held back. He’d be a fool not to notice the diamond ring on her finger. The fiancé must’ve gotten stuck in the snow. A big meltdown for a missed flight, but it was Christmas, he guessed, and to end up alone would be disappointing.
“So, I heard you’re a graphic designer.” He thought of other things he remembered his mom telling him.
“Sort of.” She sipped her beer, not adding any more detail.
He tried to think up neutral topics to discuss as the silence grew. She clearly didn’t want to talk, but before he could stop himself, he asked. “Any plans while you’re here?”
He waited as she stared back, hoping he hadn’t hit a nerve.
“No, not really.” She shrugged. “I was thinking about going snowboarding.”
“You snowboard?”
“No.”
Interesting. “Do you have a snowboard?”
She shook her head. “Nope.”
“You’ll want to rent a helmet,” Matt warned her. “If I remember correctly, your balance wasn’t the greatest.”
“I didn’t say I was going on a surfboard.” She laughed, but then placed her hand on his forearm, sending a wave of electricity through his body. “I’m sorry for my meltdown. I’m still really embarrassed.”
If it was just the two of them, he’d tell her his own stories of shame, but with Frank and Sarah watching over them, he shook his head.
“There’s no need to be sorry.”
Then he saw the smile he’d seen all those years ago, the one that made his knees buckle. Maybe it was the alcohol mixed with the nostalgia, but it was hard for him to think straight with her standing so close.
They continued with the small talk. She told him where she ended up attending college. He told her about fishing as his grandfather’s sternman for ten years before getting his license. He told her fishing stories. He made her laugh, which was much better than making her cry.
“Do you mind telling me where the bathroom is?” she asked.
“It’s down the hall, fir
st door on the right.” He pointed to the hallway.
“Thanks for the beer.” She gave a wave. “Thanks again for inviting me.”
“You’re leaving already?” He looked at the clock. Not even eight-thirty.
She shrugged, hesitating before saying, “I really am tired from all the travel and stuff...”
She trailed off, then headed in the direction of the bathroom. He watched as she walked through the room, and wondered where her fiancé was.
Frank walked up next to him and whispered into his ear, “He left her.”
“What?” Matt spun around to face him.
“The fiancé.” He crossed his arms. “He left her right before they were supposed to fly out.”
He snuck another peek as she left the room. He felt terrible for her. No wonder she was so upset in the van last night. “That’s awful.”
Frank nodded, but he raised his eyebrow. “You two seemed like you were catching up.”
“Yes.” He could tell his uncle was up to something, as per usual.
“Perhaps there will be a rekindling between the two of you.”
“The last thing I need right now is another complicated relationship.”
KATE STOOD IN FRONT of the bathroom mirror and looked into her eyes. They were slightly bloodshot from all the crying, but her makeup was intact.
Never in her life did she think she’d be back in Matt Williams’ home. Her emotions were at extremes. One minute a wave of grief washed over her, and the next she felt the warm familiarity of Camden Cove. Her mind spun like a whirlpool. A surreal deja vu mixed with the pain of reality.
Matt seemed exactly the same as the carefree surfer she’d met all those years ago, happy-go-lucky, living his days for the water. How she wished she could return to those summer days. Feel the naïve happiness of falling in love.
She splashed cool water on her face. A breath escaped. At least she still had her family, her friends, and a stable job. Was that enough, without him?
She held onto the edge of the sink and leaned closer to the mirror. She wanted to blame Eric for leaving her, but as she looked at her reflection, she realized she didn’t know who to blame.
