by Ellen Joy
“No need. It’s settled.” Matt pulled out his wallet and threw money down on the table. He had had enough for the night. “Drinks are on me.”
As Matt walked past Freddy, he grabbed his shirt. “Never speak about my family again.”
Elizabeth smiled as he dropped Freddy from his clutches. He walked straight through the crowd and out the door. As he headed down the sidewalk toward his apartment, Elizabeth came out of the tavern.
“Wait up!” she yelled out.
He stopped but didn’t look at her, his whole body shaking with adrenaline and anger. What kind of game was Justine playing by telling Freddy about going to his apartment?
“Well, I guess he heard a different version of what happened last night,” Elizabeth said as she pulled out her keys. “Need a ride?”
“I can walk.” His teeth ground together as he thought about the games his ex-wife always played.
“Do you think Freddy sunk your boat because of last night?” Elizabeth looked at him, concerned.
“Probably.” Matt moved his fingers to check if anything was broken.
“His brother told him stories?” Lauren slammed open the tavern’s door with Rachael right behind her. Her fingers were blazing across her screen. Her phone started ringing. She walked down the sidewalk a bit before she answered. “You’d better tell me what your brother means by all the stories you’ve told him about me.”
Elizabeth zipped up her coat. “Look, you may have lost a boat, but it can be replaced. Kate, however, is not sticking around forever.”
He didn’t respond, he needed to walk away. His sister was wrong. It was already too late. Katie wanted nothing to do with him. And with the way the night ended, he knew there’d be more run-ins with Freddy and Justine. This would be dragged out, just like their relationship. He didn’t want Katie to have to be a part of it. All his problems were like fishing. They’d all be here for another season, another year, everything exactly the same.
As he climbed the steps to his apartment, his eyes wandered over to the harbor to Katie’s. The house was completely lit up. He stopped half-way up and just stared at it. Wondering what she was doing inside. Wishing he could go back in time and do it all over again.
He grabbed the railing and felt the throbbing of his knuckles, returning his thoughts to reality. That’s when he noticed a bag with a bow hanging on his doorknob. He ran up the steps, took it off the handle and opened it. He pulled out a book from inside. My Travels with Charlie, by John Steinbeck.
“Katie.”
CHRISTMAS MUSIC BLASTED as Kate made the final touches around the house. The Charlie Brown tree she’d rescued from the garbage was back up and decorated. Lights twinkled and reflected in the windows. She found the ornaments in the attic storage, and placed them carefully on the tree. Vivi had kept everything, homemade decorations from all the generations. A warm feeling washed over her, like she was home.
She couldn’t wait to see Vivi tomorrow.
She poured herself a cup of coffee as she finished uploading the last of her photos on La Patisserie’s new website. David and Frank’s response was exactly what she hoped for. It gave her the motivation to push forward and plan out her own website for Kate O’Neil Designs.
Tomorrow she would buy a new phone and start figuring out her first strategy for networking and marketing her business. Her own business.
She looked out the kitchen window as she made pastries from the ingredients David had given her. The harbor twinkled in the night. Once again, she looked at the red bag hanging on Matt’s door. Her anxiety was no less than before. He hadn’t been home since she dropped it off. The boat slip was still empty. What would he do when he saw it?
He’d probably throw it into the ocean, and she deserved it.
She rolled the dough just the way David described. Although her technique needed a lot of fine tuning, she could actually see the beginning of a pain au chocolat. Once she folded and tightly sealed in the chocolate squares, just like David had instructed, she covered the sweet rolls and placed them in the refrigerator for the night. She couldn’t wait to bake them in the morning.
The oven beeped from the other side of the kitchen and she squealed when she pulled out the tray of fourteen éclair pastries. They were all golden brown, just like David’s. She jotted down notes about the experience, all the while taking pictures of each step.
If only it were summer, she thought to herself. Then she’d have some really nice shots to take. An outdoor space, the harbor, weddings...
She stilled her pen and looked out the window again. The darkness seemed unbalanced. Her eyes moved to his apartment light. She looked for the bag she had hung on the doorknob.
It was gone.
She dropped the pen and moved to the other set of windows, covering the reflection from the light. Under the streetlights, she saw him. He jogged through the village square to the footbridge, and headed across to Vivi’s with the red bag in his hand. She ran to the mirror and checked herself over. She looked at her flannel pajamas, wishing she had time to change, but he had already reached the driveway.
She swung the front door open as he ran up the steps, but he stopped when he saw her. Then, without saying a word, he walked up to her, wrapped his arms around her neck and twined his fingers in her hair. For what felt like a minute, he kept his green sea-glass eyes on her. She could hear her heart pounding in her chest as she just waited. He pulled her in closer and kissed her.
He stumbled her backwards, into the front hall, and held her tightly in his arms. He kicked the front door shut behind him.
Seventeen
Matt watched as Katie slept in the crook of his arm. She had fallen asleep as they sat by the fire. He didn’t move all night. At that moment, he paid attention to the muffled crash of waves, her soft breath, and the morning light sneaking through the windows. He had never been happier.
Every few minutes his heart skipped a beat, looking at her. It wasn’t a dream. Katie O’Neil slept right next to him. He wanted to kiss her all over again, but he also wanted to take this all in. He didn’t know what the day held. With Katie, it was completely unpredictable.
Suddenly, her arms stretched out as her fingertips wandered out to him. A smile grew across her face as his hands touched hers. Slowly, she opened her eyes.
“Good morning.” He leaned forward, and her lips fit perfectly in the crevice of his.
She rubbed his hands and he grimaced.
“What happened to your hand?” she asked, just noticing his swollen knuckles.
Instead of answering, he held her chin and kissed her again, taking in her sweet scent. She sat up, but he pulled her back into the same spot, not wanting her to leave. The night had gone from miserable to magical. They sat in front of the fire with a glass of wine and talked. Then kissed, but mostly talked. He wanted to take things slow. To enjoy the pleasures in front of him, like that very moment.
He was so wrapped up in his head of perfectness, that he almost didn’t register the doorbell rang. Katie jerked and sat up on her elbow, listening.
It rang again. Matt looked at the clock. It was barely daybreak. Who’d come to Vivi’s this early in the morning?
She looked at him. “Do you think someone’s here for you?”
Matt grabbed his phone off the coffee table and checked to see if he had any messages. Nothing. He shook his head, just as confused.
When the doorbell rang a third time, it was like a light went off in her head. She kissed him on the lips as she jumped up off the floor.
“It’s Vivi! I forgot to fix the garage door after the power went out.” She stood up. “Oh! I cannot have my sweet aunt seeing you wake up here in the morning!”
His jacket hung off the couch, and his boots sat in the hallway.
“Hang out in the bathroom. I’m going to make her some coffee. You can sneak out when we’re in the kitchen.”
She was about to sweep out of the room, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her into him, kissing her again. “You h
ave to invite me in for breakfast when I ring the doorbell.”
“I did make a few pastries last night.”
He kissed her once more, then grabbed the things he could find and ran into the bathroom. After he shut the door, he leaned on the bathroom sink and turned on the water.
He looked at himself in the mirror, and thought, things don’t get much better than this.
KATE PRACTICALLY SKIPPED to the front door. She could hear the bathroom door close behind her and her heart jumped inside her chest. The smile on her face just kept growing.
“Vivi?” she called to the front door. Her heart fluttered again. She was unexpectedly excited to see her aunt.
When she swung the door open, a rush of cold air blew her hair behind her shoulders. Eric faced her from the bottom step. Her mouth went dry. Any words she might have summoned were lodged in her throat.
The silence felt as cold as the air.
His eyes were bloodshot. “I’m so, so sorry.”
A sour taste filled her mouth as she studied his face. She couldn’t believe it.
Then she remembered Matt in the bathroom.
She looked at Eric. His eyes didn’t leave her, and a red puffiness made them droop. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days.
He looked absolutely miserable.
“What are you doing here?” It was all she could say.
“I totally freaked out.” He looked away, out at the harbor, then back to her. “But I know now, more than anything, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
When he finished, he stood there staring at her, his pain palpable.
“I’ve tried calling you for a couple of days, and when you didn’t answer...” He swallowed before he said, “I just needed to hear your voice. To see you again.”
She looked out at the driveway and saw his rental car, an upscale SUV, probably with four-wheel-drive, parked next to the minivan. That was her dream sitting in the snow before her. Why did it feel so empty and cold?
His eyes flickered to the side and he made a face. She looked behind her and noticed the wine glasses on the coffee table. He then stepped onto the front stoop, examining. He looked puzzled at first, then surprised, as though he’d been sucker punched. “Is there someone here with you?”
Kate didn’t know what else to say but the truth. “Yes.”
At that moment, the floorboards creaked from down the hall.
His eyes scanned the space and then said, “Oh my God.”
He sat down on the front steps, putting his head between his hands. He began taking deep, heavy breaths. Then he stood, his face bright red.
“Is there another man here?”
“Eric.”
The cold poured in as she stood with the door open.
He straightened up, blew out a breath and said, “I don’t care about anything except you.”
MATT TRIED EVERYTHING he could not to listen to their conversation. He thought about breakfast. He thought about getting his boat back and going out with Katie, dragging the pots out of the water. He thought about his schedule, towing and making deliveries for Frank and David. He thought about how strange the nickname john was for a bathroom. He tried everything he could to not think about how Katie’s ex-fiancé stood, but nothing worked.
“You should leave.” Katie’s voice traveled through the door.
His heart pumped inside his chest as he waited for Eric to respond.
“Please, Kate, we need to talk.”
He heard her hesitate. He hated that he was hiding in the bathroom. Worse, he knew Eric was right. They did need to talk, but that didn’t mean he wanted her to.
“You don’t get to make demands.” Her voice held an edge. She was also right. “You can’t just come back and expect that a sorry will fix things.”
“Please, I have to talk to you.”
Matt could hear the fear in the guy’s voice. He was afraid he’d lost her.
“I needed to talk to you. You never called. Why would you expect me to welcome you in?”
“Why, because he’s here?” Eric’s voice grew higher with each word. “You can come out, or you can keep hiding!”
“Eric, please,” Katie said. “You need to leave.”
He couldn’t stay in hiding in the bathroom, and he certainly wasn’t going to let this guy be a jerk to her. He opened the door, and Eric saw him right away. He was tall. He stood in a wool pea coat and shoes that probably cost the same as Matt’s entire wardrobe. He didn’t look like a jerk, like Matt had hoped. He looked like a guy who just lost the love of his life, and Matt instantly felt sorry for him. Because Matt felt the same fear Eric did. He was afraid of losing her, too.
When Matt came closer, he tried to focus only on her, ignoring the fact that Eric now stood in front of the door. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I’m fine.”
He looked at Eric, then back at Katie. “You two should probably talk.”
“Matt, no.” She wrapped one arm across her stomach, while her other hand went to her lips. “Please, stay.”
“No, you should talk.” He forced himself to swallow. He put his coat on and turned toward the kitchen, to go out the garage and bypass the front door, but he stopped in front of her. With his back to Eric, he cupped her elbow in his hand.
Katie stood there, her eyes tearing up. She whispered, “You don’t have to go.”
He smiled and nodded. “You two really should talk.” Matt looked quickly at Eric. A hint of anger now flinted in the man’s eyes. He turned back to Katie and recited the speech he prepared in the bathroom. “He doesn’t deserve you. I don’t even deserve you, because when I was sixteen, I was too stupid to know that letting you go would be the biggest mistake of my life.”
He locked eyes with her for a second. He wanted to see if she believed him this time. But her eyes swirled with emotions he couldn’t decipher. He squeezed her elbow twice.
She placed her hand on his and squeezed it back, twice.
As he left through the kitchen, Eric stepped further inside and he immediately regretted leaving. What did he just do?
Eighteen
Eric sat on the coffee table and put his head between his hands. Kate sat in front of him on the couch.
He looked up. His eyes showed his pain. “I messed everything up, didn’t I?”
He seemed so innocent as he said it that Kate almost reached out to grab his hand and pull him closer, but she stuffed her hands under her legs.
Then she studied his face. The last time she saw him was when he told her he couldn’t marry her. The look on his face when he said those words had flashed through her mind over and over again throughout the week. It was a look of relief. As though he had confessed a sin. As if a burden had been lifted from his chest.
When he first said it, she was confused. Then he’d said it again. “I can’t do this.”
She had been at his place, helping him pack for Camden Cove. At first, she’d thought he didn’t want to go on vacation because of work. “Please tell me this isn’t about the Morrow account. Their money will be there waiting for you when we get back. We’ve been planning this for months. I promise, we’re going to have the best Christmas ever.”
He shook his head and dropped the clothes he was packing into the suitcase. “No, I can’t go with you. I can’t do this.” He motioned with his hands, not just to the suitcase, but to the whole room. His face changed from fear to relief. He took a deep breath and said, “I can’t marry you.”
Kate forgot how to breathe. Panic took over her body. Her hands trembled as she leaned against the bed and tried to focus on his words, in case she had misinterpreted what he said.
“What do you mean?” Her voice was barely a whisper.
He sat on the end of the bed, his back toward her. “I’m just not ready. I thought I was, but I’m not.”
Kate didn’t remember if she’d said anything or not. She just went into automatic mode. She went back to packing again. She grabbed the c
lothes laid out on the bed and folded and refolded them before sticking them into the luggage. The flight was in the morning, only a few hours away. She could drive to the airport before she regretted anything.
“Kate, I’m sorry,” he said, still looking away from her.
She rested her weight on the suitcase, squeezing the sides, not sure what she was even doing. Don’t lose it, she kept repeating in her head as he spoke. Trying not to listen, but hearing every word.
“I don’t want to hurt you. You’re the last person I want to hurt.”
“How long have you felt this way? Is there another woman?”
He shook his head. She couldn’t tell if that bothered her more. He just didn’t want her.
“I love you, but I’m just—”
She zippered the suitcase so quickly that the sound covered up whatever he was saying. She didn’t want to know.
“Kate, don’t go.” Eric sounded sincere, but he didn’t get up from the bed.
She turned and looked at him from the bedroom door. “I’ll be at Vivi’s.”
And that was it.
Her whole life changed.
And now as Eric sat before her, she realized she was no longer that Kate. She had changed.
She took a deep breath and the air came easier this time. She could feel her heart’s pace slow. She studied his gray eyes and saw a new man. One full of regret.
“I’m sorry.” He leaned over, placing his hands on her knees. “Please forgive me. I don’t care about what happened with you and that guy. I just want you to come back home.”
She couldn’t believe what was happening. She put her hands on his and took a deep breath. “There will always be a part of me that will love you, but I can’t go back. Too much has changed.”
His head dropped and he pulled his hands away. He blew out a hard breath. “I will do whatever it takes to fix this.”
“It’s different now.” She wanted something for her hands, to rub or fiddle or use as a focal point. She didn’t want to look at him and watch him fall apart.
