by E. M. Snow
“Phoenix?” I murmur. “Is something wrong?”
“You’re … a virgin?” he demands on a soft hiss.
I flinch. The tone of his voice is almost accusatory, as if I’ve intentionally kept my virginity all these years just to spite him.
Slowly, I nod. “I-is that a problem?”
He shoves off of me and turns to gather his clothes up from the floor. I sit up, startled. He’s leaving?
“What the hell?” I snap. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I’ve got to go.”
“Where? Why?” I hate how desperate I sound, but I feel a strange hammering of panic in my chest.
He doesn’t answer me. Doesn’t look at me. I’m not sure what’s going on. This is a complete one-eighty from what how he’s been acting pretty much since the moment we met. Me naked with my legs open for him has seemed to be one of the things he’s wanted most for weeks, but now he’s acting as though the idea of sex with me repels him.
Once he’s dressed, he turns for the door.
“Phoenix!” I cry, horrified that he would just leave me like this, naked on the couch with my panties around one ankle and my bra sagging down my torso.
He pauses just in front of the door, but he doesn’t look back at me. I wait for him to say something, anything, to explain his sudden change in demeanor. To my utter disappointment, however, he doesn’t offer me anything. Not one damn word. Instead, he walks out of the room, leaving me naked, confused, and more hurt than I could have possibly anticipated.
The next morning, I lumber down the stairs in an exhausted daze. I spent the whole night tossing and turning, regretting everything that happened between me and Phoenix in the library. Only after he’d fled had I remembered that Alaric had warned me not to tell him I was a virgin. Apparently, he hadn’t been joking when he’d told me that.
I’m an idiot. Not only for ignoring Alaric’s warning, but for letting myself be vulnerable with Phoenix again. You’d think that I’d learn, but for some reason I just don’t seem to get it. No matter how many times he does this shit to me, I just keep coming back for more.
I wonder what he’s going to say to me when I see him this morning. How he’ll act? Will he actually tell me what happened the day before? Why he ran away? I highly doubt it. More than likely, he’s going to want to pretend that none of this ever happened. If that’s the case, then I’ll happily pretend right along with him, but I’m not going to let him put me in that situation ever again.
I make my way to the kitchen, expecting to find Phoenix there, but surprise, surprise, he’s not. Alaric is, though, sitting at the island with a bowl of cereal on the counter in front of him. He glances up at me as I walk into the room.
I frown when I realize that neither Reina nor Gideon are here either. It’s not usual for all of us have breakfast together, but typically several of us are in here at once. I open my mouth, readying to ask where the other two are, but he cuts me off.
“About yesterday…you should just forget what Phoenix said about my parents,” he says in a firm voice.
I blink. “What?”
He furrows his brow. “About my parents’ accident.”
It hits me that he’s talking about Phoenix’s accusation that Alaric’s mother intentionally killed his father, Reina’s friend, and herself. I’m a little ashamed to say that I’d been so caught up in everything happening with Phoenix, I actually pushed that conversation out of my head.
“I wasn’t going to say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about,” I assure him. “Trust me, I’ve no interest in spreading gossip about you and your family.”
I wait for him to tell me that’s what it truly is—gossip. That Phoenix was just being his usual shit self. That it’s just another lie. When Alaric nods, though, he just looks wary. “Good. It would hurt Reina too much, and she’s been through enough.”
My breath catches but I turn away from him before he can note my surprise.
I make my way to the cupboard where the cereal is stored and grab my go-to box. I pour myself a bowl and move to sit across from Alaric. We eat in silence, and I feel a little awkward now that I’m thinking of the interaction between him and Phoenix the day before. One part of the exchange in particular stands out to me.
Glancing up at Alaric, I ask, “What did you mean when you threatened Phoenix? When you said you knew everything?”
Without missing a beat, he looks up at me and replies, “What do you mean?”
I frown. “What do you mean, what do I mean? You said that to Phoenix yesterday. What is this everything that you know?”
He shrugs. “We were arguing. People say weird things in the middle of fights. It doesn’t mean anything.”
I don’t really believe that, but he’s clearly dodging the question. There’s no point in trying to get him to tell me what I want to know. He’s locked down tight, I can see that.
Sighing, I say, “Fine. Don’t tell me. I’ll probably figure it out soon enough anyway.”
He snorts. “You think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you, Sherlock Holmes.”
“Wow, you must be in a good mood if you’re cracking jokes this early in the morning,” I tease him but I’m relieved. At least some of the tension is gone now, though I’m positive I’ll be thinking about his parents for the rest of the day.
He rolls his eyes. “Whatever, weirdo.”
We finish our breakfast, and it’s only as I’m rinsing out my bowl that I realize I don’t have a ride to school.
“Shit,” I hiss before I can stop myself.
“What is it?” Alaric asks, coming up to stand next to me.
I debate telling him, because I don’t want to cause anymore tension between him and Phoenix, but I decide I really don’t have much of a choice if I want to go to school today.
“Well … Phoenix usually drives me to school, and it appears he’s ditched me today, so …”
“Forget that asshole, I’ll give you a ride,” he tells me before I can even ask him. “Come on. Let’s go.”
I give him a relieved smile. “Thanks Alaric. I owe you.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, you don’t. The amount of pissed off this is going to make Phoenix is payment enough.”
I hate how right he is, but that shouldn’t be my problem, right? Phoenix has made it perfectly clear by ditching me this morning that I’m not worth his time. Apparently, me being a virgin is just too much for him to handle. Well, that’s fine. I don’t need to worry about him at all then.
With that thought in mind, I follow Alaric out to his Porsche, deciding this will be the perfect fuck you to Phoenix.
If I had any doubt that he was trying to avoid me when I left the house this morning, they are all put to rest as the day crawls by. He actively goes out of his way not to be close to me, and he doesn’t even look my way when we do come near each other in the hallway. I try not to let it bother me, but it does, and the more I see him pretending I no longer exist, the more pissed off I become. I could maybe understand a guy being a little intimidate about taking a girl’s virginity, but he’s acting like I have fucking leprosy.
I decide a couple periods before lunch that I’m going to try and force him to tell me what’s going on. Of course, that will require me getting him to actually acknowledge me, but I have an idea of how I’m going to do that.
When the bell rings ending our latest period, I hurry out to the hallway to find him and stalk his ass. He can’t ignore me if I refuse to leave him alone.
I spot him near his locker and make a beeline for him. He doesn’t notice me coming up to him, and I think I might be able to trap him when all of the sudden, fucking Kallista steps into my path with that stupid smug grin of hers.
“Oh, hey, if it isn’t Thornwood’s resident slut. Where do you think you’re going, ASCOS? To ruin poor Phoenix’s day? I don’t think so, bitch.”
I roll my eyes at her, having no time or patience for her bullshit.
“
Back off,” I snap. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’m not really someone you should be messing with anymore…”
“Yeah, I heard about your bodyguards,” she sneers, folding her arms. “What a fucking train wreck you must be if Reina and Alaric actually feel the need to team up to protect you. Do you actually think I’m scared of either of those two? Please. The only reason anyone gives them the time of day is because they’re Phoenix’s cousins.”
Kallista is such an idiot, it’s a wonder she’s made it this far in her education. If either Reina or Alaric heard her talking about them like this, they would ruin her life without batting an eye.
“You forgot to mention Phoenix. He was there too,” I say with a little smile. And now he is moving away from his locker and my chance to corner him is slipping away. “Can we raincheck your bitchy tirade for a later time? I have somewhere to be.”
Kallista doesn’t move out of my way, no shock there, but someone catches her attention over my shoulder. Her grin is absolutely Grinch-like as she waves her hand and beckons whoever it is closer. Curious, I glance over my shoulder and then feel all the blood drain from my face when I spot Margaret hurrying toward us.
Fuck. Me.
She comes around me to stand next to Kallista, casting me a snide look that cuts right to the bone.
“What’s up?” she asks Kallista in an overly cheery voice and flips her long auburn hair over her shoulder.
“Oh, not much. I was just reminding ASCOS here of her place, meaning the bottom of my shoe, and thought you’d like to chime in.”
I see what Kallista is doing, and it’s probably the cruelest stunt she’s pulled yet. She wants to rub it in my face that my once best friend has turned against me and is part of her brainwashed posse right now. I set my jaw and clench my fists so that I don’t make an expression and give away just how much this is going to hurt.
Margaret turns to me with an arched brow. For a moment, she doesn’t say anything, and I think maybe she’s actually starting to come to her senses.
But then, she opens her mouth, and any hope of that happening is wiped away in a split second.
“Can’t you get it through your thick head, Josslyn?” she hisses. “No one likes you. No one wants you here. Why are you even still going to this school? Just fuck off already and leave us all in peace. It’s not like they’ll let you stick around once your grandma finally—”
“Stop!” I manage to strangle out because damn it, I hate how much her words still hurt. I know I should be over her and our apparently very shallow friendship, but I can’t help myself. She was the only person I could rely on in this damn school for so long, and the fact that she was so quick to turn on me because of a guy makes me question everything I thought we had together.
“But it’s the truth,” Margaret says, fluttering her lashes over her big blue eyes.
I narrow my eyes at her and spit out, “I can’t believe what a two-faced bitch you are. You really think Kallista gives a shit about you? You’re just her latest toy to play with, but once she’s bored of you, you’ll be right back here in the mud with me. Except, when that happens, I won’t be there to pick you back up.”
Her nostrils flare in agitation and I can see by her expression that she knows what I’m saying is true. Of course, I don’t expect her to acknowledge that fact. I watch as a curtain of denial falls over her face, and she gives me a haughty look she’s no doubt practiced in the mirror so that it matches Kallista’s.
“You’re just jealous. I didn’t have to spread my legs to get people to like me the way you did.”
If she had slapped me, she couldn’t have hurt me worse.
“If you really think that’s what I’ve been doing, I guess you really don’t know me at all, huh?” I say with a disappointed shake of my head.
“She’s just finally seen you for the slut you really are.” Kallista smirks and wiggles her fingers at me. “Go on now, go crawl after Phoenix like a good whore.”
At that moment, the bell rings, signaling that we all need to get to our next class. Kallista and Margaret throw me snide looks before turning and walking away together. I grit my teeth in frustration, but not just at their bullshit. Gazing around, I can see that Phoenix is already long gone.
28
“What the fuck do you want?”
Phoenix’s tone is vicious as I walk into the room that I saw him slip into after the end-class bell rang. It’s one of the music practice rooms, which confused me at first, but when I see that he’s standing next to an open window with a joint in his hand, his reason for coming in here makes more sense.
I narrow my eyes and scowl at him. “Why are you being such a son of a bitch? Scratch that, that’s just your default setting, isn’t it? Let me be more specific. Why did you run away like a coward yesterday?”
His glare is lethal and his hand clenches, crushing his joint. I don’t think that was on purpose, but he doesn’t seem to care as he tosses it out the window and then slams it shut. He storms toward me until he’s towering over me, and my heart gives a little jolt.
“You didn’t just call me a coward, because that would be exceedingly stupid of you.”
I jut my chin up at him and bare my teeth. “Was I really so hideous that you had to bolt at the sight of me naked?”
I flinch, the words slipping from my mouth before I fully realize what I’m saying. Shit, shit, shit. The last thing I want is for him to know how insecure his sudden abandonment left me. That’s a weakness I simply don’t want to let him see. It’s too late, though. I can’t take back what I’ve said, and I know he’s going to somehow find a way to use my confession against me.
True to form, his lips curl into a cruel smirk and he lets out a bark of laughter.
“Are you that hard-up? You’re more concerned about how I thought you looked naked than the fact you were about to give your virginity to the man holding you hostage. That’s fucked up, you know that, right?”
I snarl at him. “You don’t get to tell me how fucked up my behavior might be. You’re the king of fucked-up, so you have no right to judge me.”
“You’re not even going to deny it, huh?” He shakes his head, as if baffled, but I can see it’s an act. He’s mocking me, acting as though I’m the one in the wrong here. “Well, shit. If it meant that much to you, strip down again and let me get another look.”
“You’re a pig,” I snap.
He shrugs. “I’m not the wannabe slut throwing my cunt around to see where it sticks.”
I jolt back, stunned. “Wow,” I gasp. “You’re not just a pig, you’re an actual piece of shit. You know what? Thank God you ran away before I let you fuck me. That would have been a colossal mistake on my part. I’d be better off letting Alaric have it, or Easton…”
His hand is suddenly in my hair, jerking my head back and he’s pressed up against my body. He’s seething, his wrath rolling off him in waves. “You wouldn’t fucking dare.”
“Try me.” I shove at his chest. “Now let me go, asshole.”
He doesn’t. Instead, he lowers his face until it’s within an inch from mine. For a moment, I think he might kiss me, but I quickly shove the ridiculous notion away. If he so much as tries, I’m kneeing him in the balls.
“If I catch either of those fucks so much as looking at you in a way I don’t like, I’ll ruin them, you got it?”
I fight against his hold and hiss, “I said let me go!”
For a moment, I think he’s going to ignore me again, but at length, he finally releases me. I stumble back, fury rushing through me.
“You know what? I’m done,” I say through gritted teeth.
His brow furrows. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I spread my arms wide and shout, “I’m fucking done, Phoenix! Take up whatever issues you have with your father and my brother and leave me the hell out of it. I don’t give a shit anymore. Take your threats and shove them. I’m over this bullshit!”
His green eyes wid
en slightly, and then narrow again. “Then go! I don’t give a fuck!”
Spinning on my heel, I storm out of the room before either of us says another word. If he thinks I’m not deadly serious, though, he’s got another thing coming.
I’m so upset after my confrontation with Phoenix, I don’t say much to Reina as we have lunch together. She seems to pick up on the fact that I’m upset and doesn’t push me to unburden myself, which is a relief. I just want to wallow in my misery for a little while before I have to face him again in my last class.
When the bell rings for last period, I begrudgingly make my way to the classroom. I walk inside and am relieved to see that Phoenix isn’t here yet. Making my way to my seat, I duck my head and try to keep a low-profile as the rest of my classmates filter into the room. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a large figure walk into the room, and I instinctively know that it’s him. I don’t look his way, keeping my eyes locked straight ahead of me. He moves past me, settling into a seat somewhere behind me and to my left.
I’m so focused on not looking at Phoenix that I don’t notice the other figure approaching until he’s standing right next to me.
“You okay, Josslyn?”
Startled, I jump in my seat and look up to find Easton gazing down at me with a small frown. I blink up at him.
“Huh? Oh, I’m fine,” I tell him.
He grins. “Good. You were pretty spaced out, so I was worried.”
A motion out of the corner of my eye catches my attention and I look before I think better of it. Phoenix is glaring over at us, his fury palpable from across the room. Easton turns to see what I’m look at and when his eyes land on Phoenix, he lets out a derisive snort.
Turning back to me, he says, “I really don’t get why you hang out with that asshole. He’s not nearly good enough for you.”
I can’t help the small grin that curls my lips as I look back up at him. “You and I could not be in more agreement about that.”
Chuckling, he glances over his shoulder at Phoenix once more.
