by KM Lowe
Jasper stands up beside me, and I feel his eyes boring holes into me. I have a lot that I want to share, not because I need to, but because I trust him. I trust that he’ll guide me in the right direction, even if I get lost.
“What’s wrong, son? You can tell me anything. If I can help, I will.”
I run my hands through my hair and turn away from him. I would probably be able to speak better if he wasn’t looking at me like I’m some fragile little puppy. I hate to see pity in people’s faces.
“Kevin.” He places his hand on my shoulder, and I feel the comfort from him.
“I’ve done and seen some crazy shit to survive. My father…” My body tenses at the thoughts running through my head. Anger boils at the surface and my teeth grind together. “Well, you weren’t a part of that pack unless you had killed or tortured someone. That was rule one of my father’s. If you couldn’t kill, you’d be killed. I…”
“It’s okay. I get it. But listen to me, that wasn’t you. We’d all do what we had to to survive.”
Survival of the fittest echoes in my head. It was my father’s favorite term. I sometimes think it was all he knew to say.
“It wasn’t until Lisa came on the scene that I wanted to rebel against my dad. I wanted a better life for myself. I didn’t want to be his puppet. Now, I feel like I’m going to be someone else’s puppet.”
“Look at it like you’re saving people like yourself. You’re giving others a chance of a new life. Each and every one of this pack has been where you are. Not the elders, but most of the youngsters have. I won’t go into their stories, but Lisa, Markus, Joel, even Bull… I gave them this life away from physical and emotional abuse. They know what it’s like to be loved and have the support of a family unit now. Answer me this question.” I turn to face Jasper and our eyes lock. “What did you feel when you were with your dad’s pack?”
What did I feel? Hate. Anger. Suffocated.
“At the beginning, it was all I knew. I didn’t know any different. In the end, I felt trapped. I was full of hatred. I didn’t save Lisa, she saved me.”
“I think you both saved each other, buddy. When we go out on missions, just hold that pain and misery in your head. Why did you want out from that life? What did you want to change?”
I quickly absorb Jasper’s question and store it in my head. I don’t want to think about that now, but I’ll be sure to reevaluate when the time comes.
“How long will it last? The punishment, I mean,” I blurt out.
“I have no idea. How long’s a piece of string?”
“I thought so. I’m going to get another drink.” I lift my empty bottle and shake it. Maybe getting wasted will do the trick.
“Quite right. Enjoy it.”
I walk away from Jasper feeling a few stone lighter. I don’t think Jasper’s under any illusion that I lived a rosy lifestyle before he found me at Lisa’s side. It just feels good getting some stuff off my chest. It’s like a huge weight holding me underwater at times, and I just get so overwhelmed. My father is dead now, and that should be the end of it, but it doesn’t erase the bad memories I have. The torture. The beatings. The killings. It’s all at the forefront of my mind, every day. I fear I’m always going to be damaged goods, and no one will ever really want me when they hear about my past. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s what has been ingrained into my head. I’m useless. Worthless. Stupid.
It might be better if I resign myself to the fact that I’ll live a single lifestyle. Having Lisa in my life is more than I ever imagined growing up, and I won’t let anything take that away from me now. I’ll be the perfect brother and be there for the only person who means more to me than anything.
Chapter 2
Karina
For the last six months, I’ve run free. I have no one to love. Nowhere I can call home. My life is a mess, but the last thing my father made me promise was that I’d run as far away as possible. Those were his last words before the life drained from his body. He and my mom were my life. I had love and care from them for eighteen years, and when that ended, I felt alone. Empty. All I could do was run for my life. I didn’t know who I could trust after the Alpha turned rogue and slaughtered half of our pack. He lost his mate, and everything changed after that. I’ve learnt that soulmates have the power to make us stronger, but they also have the power to break us.
I turned eighteen two months ago, and I celebrated by tracking down a deer and eating it all myself. Tearing flesh from the bones of the carcass was the most excitement me and my wolf had felt since my parents were taken away from me. We’re learning to adapt to this new lifestyle, but it isn’t easy when you had all the good things in life.
We crossed the border into Canada several weeks ago, and I’ve spent that time in the mountains, out of sight of any other paranormal being, living like a nomad. It’s been thrilling and exhilarating being in my wolf form twenty-four-seven. I get to run, explore the mountains, keep busy, and forget about why I’m out here. If I stop for too long, everything comes flooding back and I feel like I’m grieving all over again. I never got to give my parents the send-off they deserved, and it kills me deep inside to know that they’re probably decomposing in a ditch somewhere. It makes me feel heartbroken and selfish that I ran instead of sticking around to face whatever was coming my way, but I promised my father I’d run. Maybe I was damned if I did stick around and damned because I didn’t. I was never going to win, because my parents were never going to be with me again. No matter where I find myself in the next ten years, I’ll never have a family that will love and cherish me. I’ll never be the apple of someone’s eye, because I’m empty and alone. That will never change, because I can’t mingle with anyone. I’m so scared that they’ll turn against me. I can’t trust a single sole, and that tears shreds away from my heart. I’ll never have the love my parents shared, and that breaks my heart. I’ll never have someone look at me like I’m their everything. Their reason for breathing. I’m destined to be alone from now until I die out in these mountains, hiding from any dangers.
It’s getting darker, and there’s a shelter up ahead where I can relax for the night. It’s not a comfy palace, but my wolf will appreciate a dry area for the night. I would love nothing more than a hot soak in the tub, but that isn’t going to happen any time soon. I’ll just have to have one in my dreams, if I ever get into a deep enough sleep. Urgh. I do miss my home comforts. A bed. Hot water. A cooked meal. I salivate as I think about my mother’s cooking. The joys of growing up in a loving household. Change is sometimes for the better, but in our pack, it was devastating.
A loud sound from branches snapping has my head lifting off my paws. My beast stands slowly. I growl, having no idea what I’m facing. Who’s out there?
“Show yourself!” A loud bellow reverberates around the mountains. I growl and edge forward to see who is disturbing me from my peaceful slumber. A large, dirty man stands in front of me. Immediately, the fur on the back of my neck rises and I prepare myself to fight. I need to get out of here. I need to be free. The sense of danger is overwhelming and my flight instinct kicks in. I jump high into the air and prepare to land at the other side of the man. But that doesn’t work out as planned when my body convulses and drops to the ground. Electrical currents run through me. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I know it isn’t good.
The large frame looms over me. The smell of him makes my stomach churn. My body grows weaker and I feel my wolf retracting. I’m left lying on the cold, wet ground; naked.
“W-what do you want? I stutter.
“I thought your wolf was tantalizing, but, oh my, you are mouthwatering. I have a few jobs you’ll be perfect for.” He sneers at me, eyes glazing over with something I’ve never seen before.
“Please. Let me go!”
“Never!” He hauls me onto my feet. My bare feet are in agony as stones and pine needles stick into my flesh. I cry, but I know nothing is going to help me now. My wolf was my only savior and now she�
��s been taken away from me with whatever magic this beast has used on me.
My tired, heavy body is dragged unwillingly. My heart is beating so fast in my chest, and I feel vulnerable for the first time since my parents were taken from me. I’ve let them down. I promised them that I’d run and never let my guard down, but the first sign of tiredness knocked me off and I relaxed.
“Josie! What have you got?”
I look up at the sound of voices. I thought maybe someone would help me, but the guards look worse than the man that found me.
“I’ve got us a new toy, Magic. Throw her in the cage.”
Cage. What the fuck? My mind quickly jumps into overdrive as I search for some kind of answer.
I hear the jangling keys and my body is thrown into a cage. My head spins as it bangs off the concrete beneath me. I moan and roll onto my back.
“Are you okay?” I thought I was hearing things at first, but a sweet voice, repeats her question until I focus on her. Leaning over me is a small girl, probably no older than me. Her long brown hair hangs over her shoulder. “What’s your name?” she asks me softly.
“Karina. Who are you?” I ask.
The young girl reaches around me and helps me sit up. My back rests against the cold, damp wall, but that’s the least of my worries when I focus on my surroundings. There are cages stacked all around me, filled with young girls. They’re all in various kinds of distress. Some are covered in dirt and blood. Some are unconscious. Some are staring into space.
“W-what is happening?” I cry out.
“Ssh! You don’t want to draw attention to yourself. My name is Darcy. We’re all in this together. We just need to find a way to get out.”
“How long have you been here?”
“I’ve lost count. Maybe several weeks. Are you hurt?”
I shake my head. “I’ll live.”
“That’s the spirit. You can’t show weakness in here. They prey on it. Stay strong.”
I nod once. I don’t want to tell her that I felt weak the moment they forced me to shift back into human form. I was in wolf form for so long that being like this is alien to me. I’m not sure I like it. I’ll make it my priority to get out of here alive. These bastards need to pay for what they’re doing here. They shouldn’t be allowed to do this.
Chapter 3
Kevin
This weekend should’ve been about making memories with the people we love. But I found myself out in the wild, running free. I feel alive out in the forest. In the cabin with Lisa and Markus, I just couldn’t take the pitiful looks. I didn’t deserve their pity.
Jasper said we’d be leaving at eight a.m. sharp. I’ve been sitting in my room, waiting, listening for everyone to leave the cabin first. I just need this moment to myself before I say my goodbyes. My heart is breaking, because I’ve just found Lisa. I’ve just built up a great relationship with her and I might never get to see her again. It doesn’t seem fair to her, even though I understand why the council has dragged me into this punishment.
I sigh. Picking up my backpack, I walk slowly out of the cabin. The air is fresh out here, and I try my hardest to ingrain it into my memory. I walk the short distance to the Alpha’s cabin, but Lisa is wrapped in Markus’s arms, and the moment they hear me coming, Lisa leaves Markus and enters my open arms.
“Come on. Everything’s going to be fine,” I whisper into her hair.
“You don’t know that, Kev. I feel like I’m never going to see you again...”
“Not going to happen,” I interrupt her. “Can you see Jasper letting me get hurt, or worse?” I try to shrug off her words and make her see that everything is okay, but deep inside, I agree with everything she said. When you truly love someone, you’ll do and say anything to keep them safe and stop them from hurting.
“No. But anything could happen when you’re out there.”
“Come on.” Just as I round the corner, I spot Jasper shaking Carlos’s hand. He smiles when he sees us.
“You all ready?” asks Jasper.
I start to say something, but the wind is knocked out of me when Lisa wraps her arms around my neck tightly.
“You’d better come back to us safe and well,” she cries.
The pain and discomfort my sister is feeling is killing me.
“I will. Don’t you be worrying about me. Live your life as you normally would. I’ll call when I can. Markus.” I unwrap Lisa from my neck and hold her hands out to him. I make sure she’s in the comfort of his arms before I walk away.
“Take care, buddy,” said Markus. “Come on, babe.”
The sobs coming from Lisa shatter me. She’s worse today than she was the first time I found her in my father’s basement. I can’t deal with any woman crying, but when it’s a family member, it destroys me. I’d do anything to keep my loved ones safe and well.
“We’ll be fine, honey.” Jasper takes Lisa and Markus into his arms and holds them tight. “Look after one another.”
I step away from everyone and open the passenger door of Jasper’s car. I climb in quickly before I change my mind. My eyes focus on the front window. Only a speck of dirt is keeping me from jumping back out of the vehicle, grabbing Lisa, and running off into the sunset.
“Jasper!” shouts Joel.
I know his voice because he has a strong Scottish accent compared to everyone else. I close my door with a bang. I leave Jasper to say his goodbyes and never lose my focus. I can’t lose focus now. I’m doing this for my pack. For my family. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker we can come home.
Jasper climbs into the driver’s seat and buckles up for the ride. I saw him looking out of his rear-view mirror, and he looks just as cut up as me, if not more. He has a lot more to lose than I do. Everyone has something to lose if this punishment goes south. Me, Jasper, the pack… Lisa.
“Let’s do this, kid.”
Yeah. Let’s do this, Jasper.
Chapter 4
Karina
I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been held captive like a caged animal. The torture is killing me. I’ve fought and struggled to keep them off my body, but the more I fight, the harder it is for me, because they beat me until I can’t see or think straight. I’ve even lost Darcy for company. I don’t know if she’s alive now, but I know I’m losing the will to live. I don’t know what’s fact or a part of my imagination anymore. I drift in and out of consciousness and I just don’t want to wake up. When I do, I’m terrified to open my eyes.
“You’re beautiful, baby.” His strong, warm hands caress my cheeks. His bright blue eyes caress my soul and call to something deep within me.
“Take me home,” I whisper.
“With pleasure.” He whisks me into his arms and cradles me against his chest. I feel safe and secure in his strong arms. I just don’t know who he is. Why is he here?
My body is laid flat on a bed. I have no idea where I am, but I’m calm and relaxed with this stranger.
“I’ve waited forever to have you with me.” He speaks softly, kissing lightly down my neck. I want to speak, but I’m terrified I’ll spoil the moment. The moment of contentment. “I knew the moment I laid my eyes on you that I’d love you forever.”
“Love.” Our eyes lock, and I feel my soul being drawn to his like a magnet. “I don’t understand.”
“You’re my other half. My reason for living. My mission is to make you happy for the rest of our lives.”
His hand runs up my shirt, cupping my breast, nipping the bud of my nipple firmly. My body reacts, arching from the bed into his chest. I’ve never felt this needy before. I’ve never been possessed by desire. His mouth tangles with mine. Our tongues probe, exploring every crevice of each other’s mouths.
“Tell me you feel this connection between us,” he whispers.
“I do. I feel something. I just don’t understand it.”
“What’s to understand? I love you.” His warm lips caress mine, and in that moment, I know he means every word.
“Ah, you like that, little wolf.”
I’m broken out of my dream by hands running down my cold, weak body. I feel repulsed, disgusted, angry. I can’t stop it, because I’m still unable to shift. I’m stuck to this table like a wild animal, arms and legs shackled to the metal legs. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.
“Please!” I cry, thrashing about at the chains wrapped around my wrists and ankles. The cold metal digs into my skin, making me wince.
I feel something enter me down below and my back arches off the table as the pain rips through me. I’ve never experienced any sexual encounters before, and this isn’t what I expected it to feel like. If only I could go back to my dream-like state and feel that love and connection with the stranger. Anything would be better than this.
I close my eyes tightly and hope and pray this will be over soon. I don’t want to think about the disgusting pig on top of me, the rancid smell from him, the pain. I let my body shut down.
This is wrong.
Chapter 5
Kevin
We entered the council headquarters over an hour ago. We’ve been left sitting in this office waiting for Jasper’s boss to make an appearance; Braxton. I’ll never forget that name, because I’ll make sure to get my own back on him one day. Right now, nerves are cursing through my body. The unknown is the worst. I know Jasper wouldn’t let any harm come to me, but he can’t babysit me forever. My knee bounces uncontrollably. I can’t stop it, and the more I try, the worse it gets. I fidget in my seat, my nerves getting the better of me. My stomach clenches, butterflies circling, making me feel physically sick.
‘You’re a fucking wolf! Act like it,’ echoes in my head. Again, my father’s rancid words haunt me.
“Kevin, sit still,” says Jasper sternly.
I shake my head. “Sorry. I’m just…”
“Nervous. Yeah, I get it.” Jasper elbows my arm playfully, trying anything to lighten the tense atmosphere. You’d think I’d be used to working on my nerves with the upbringing I had, but this is different. I’ve heard a lot of harsh stories about the council, some from the pack this weekend, and I know fine well that they won’t hold back on this punishment. They’re going to throw everything at us and then some.
