by KM Lowe
I laugh again, because I can just hear Lavina saying, I told you so. “Lavina usually is right. She’s the one who gave me the books to read to you.”
“She has good taste.” She smiles.
“I beg to differ.” I wink at her, because she knows how much I dislike the romance books.
“This is a big bed. I’m not ready for… anything, but it would be nice to see you get some sleep.”
I shake my head again. It seems to be a motion I’m doing a lot of lately. “I don’t need to. I can sleep right here in the chair. I told you, we take this at your pace. I’m just happy to see you awake.”
“Kevin. I want you to come and lie on the bed. I’ll feel better if you do.”
It hasn’t taken Karina long to figure out what makes me tick. Of course I won’t deprive her of feeling better, and she knows that. I kick my shoes off and walk around to the other side of the bed. I climb on top of the silk covers and lie on my side. I take in the true beauty of the woman beside me. She’s still very pale and tired-looking, but she’s stunning.
She reaches her hand over to me slowly and I let my hand cover hers. Just having her trust me enough to initiate this contact is sensational. I’m content for the first time in weeks. Everything is quiet and peaceful. Life is going to start looking up for us.
“Sleep, Kevin.”
I nod softly and close my eyes with a smile on my face. If this is what life is going to be like, I can’t wait to start living it.
Chapter 20
Karina
Kevin has been sleeping peacefully for the last sixteen hours. We both slept through the night, but I woke up about an hour ago. I haven’t been able to look away from him since. His soft features. His creamy skin. The stubble on his jaw. It amazes me after everything I’ve been through that I feel safe in this bed with him.
A soft knock sounds on the door and it creaks open. I turn onto my back to see Lavina walking in. I hold my finger up to my mouth and say, “Sshh!”
Lavina smiles and sits on the chair that Kevin was sitting in yesterday. “I popped my head around the door last night to see if you both wanted something to eat, but I thought you needed sleep more.”
“He did. I don’t want to wake him up,” I say.
“I’ve got you some new clothes and essentials you might need. I got you enough until you feel like going shopping yourself.”
Tears spring to my eyes. I’m an emotional wreck. That is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Well, since my mother passed away.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No. You didn’t. Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“You don’t need to thank me, honey. Would you like some breakfast? I can help you get a bath if you like?”
“Oh my God, I’d love a bath.” I wipe my eyes.
“That’s settled. I’ll let you compose yourself and I’ll run the water. Don’t get up yourself because you’ll still be weak.”
I nod and smile. I know what she means, because just moving about in the bed is taking up all my energy. I’ve never felt so weak in my life. Although, I’m grateful to be alive. I honestly thought I was going to die in that cave. Every hit, kick, or rape I endured broke me a little bit more. Every hour that ticked by, I lost a little bit more hope. I was broken.
I am broken.
“Karina…”
“Shit.” I jump out of my skin and place my hand over my chest.
Kevin’s eyes spring open. Lavina places a hand over mine and one hand on Kevin’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kevin. I didn’t mean to make Karina jump. I went to run the bath for her and she was in a world of her own when I returned. Everything is fine.”
“I’m okay,” I reassure Kevin, and try to sit up myself. Kevin places his arm around my shoulders and helps me into a sitting position. My head spins, and I lean into Kevin’s chest. I freeze at how close we are, but I remember him in my dream-like state. His soft kisses on my head. I’m safe.
“It’s okay.” His hand moves up to my head and rubs softly, helping me relax in his embrace.
“I’m so sorry, Karina,” says Lavina.
“It’s not your fault. I got thinking about…” I shake my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologise. What do you say we get you into the bathroom? Maybe a bath will make you feel better.”
I nod. Lavina pulls the cover from my legs and I manage to sit up on the side of the bed, feet firmly on the ground. The light-headedness has subsided, but I’m terrified to move. Kevin quickly swings over to my side and sits beside me. His arm wraps around my back and he holds his hand out for me to take.
“If you can’t manage, I can carry you. Just say the word.”
“No. I need to try.” I push slowly to my feet. Kevin is practically taking all my weight, but I’m glad he is, or I would fall on my backside.
“Kev. Jasper’s on the phone,” says Lavina.
I look up to see how she knows that, but I fall back into Kevin’s side. My coordination is terrible this morning. I need to concentrate.
“Tell him I’ll call him back in five minutes.”
“Done.”
“How did you do that?” I ask as I walk slowly into the bathroom behind Lavina.
“Lelland is my mate. Each bonded couple has a set of different gifts. One Lelland and I have is telepathic communications. It’s useful.”
“Like a mated shifter. We can communicate with our mate. Talk through links.”
“Just like that. We don’t differ much. But, please, whatever you do, don’t ask Kevin to explain any of our abilities.” Lavina laughs, and Kevin sighs.
“I’m never going to hear the end of this. I’d never had anything to do with vampires. How was I supposed to know you didn’t live off humans, sleep in coffins, or only wake at night? Cut me some slack,” he scalds Lavina like a huffy child, which makes me laugh with Lavina.
When we reach the bathroom, I sit down on a stool. The smell of lavender assaults my senses and I take in the beautiful room.
“What do you need me to do, Lavina?” asks Kevin, looking a little lost.
“We’ll be fine. Go and take a shower next door, call Jasper, then start cooking breakfast with Lelland. We’ll come down when we’re ready.” Lavina winks at me and I feel a motherly connection to her. She’s kind, caring, and considerate. Three things I never expected from a vampire. Three things I haven’t felt since my own mother died.
I can see Kevin warring with himself, but he needs to realise that I’m okay. He needs to look after himself too.
“I’m good. Do as Lavina said,” I say firmly.
As much as I want him here with me, I’m not ready for him to see me naked and vulnerable. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. Those bastards have taken so much away from me.
“Just shout if you need me.”
I nod softly and smile. I just wish I had met Kevin before I was kidnapped. Life would be very different for both of us.
Chapter 21
Kevin
I flop down on Lelland’s desk chair and sigh with relief. I pick up the phone and dial Jasper’s number.
It only rings a couple of times before Jasper answers. “Hello.”
“Hey, Jasper. It’s only me.”
“Hey, buddy. How’s things? I didn’t expect you to call me back.”
I smile, because I kind of expected that. “I had my orders. Lavina’s helping Karina in the bath. I wasn’t needed,” I say, feeling defeated for some strange reason.
Will Karina ever need me?
“I thought since Karina woke up you would be happier. What’s going on? You sound like someone stole your coffee.”
I contemplate keeping my thoughts to myself, but out of everyone, Jasper’s the one person I know I can talk to without being judged.
“I don’t know, Jasper. I guess I expected things to be like they were in my head when I communicated with her.”
“And it isn’t?”
“
There are times when she does or says something that makes me think she’s going to be okay, like last night, when she told me to lie on the bed with her. But then this morning, it was like she didn’t need me to be there. She froze when she fell into my arms. I don’t know.”
“I think we can all guess what Karina has been through. The fact that she’s letting you near her without freaking out is a bonus. I think this is a situation that you need to take one step at a time. Even at that, there will be days that you get thrown back several spaces. Just don’t give up.”
“It’s hard. I just want to keep her safe. Love and protect her.”
“Do you want me and Stracey to come back out? Lelland thinks it will be another week or so before you’re able to fly home. You need your family and it might be better for Karina to see more of the pack before coming home.”
“I don’t want you flying back out here. You’ve got enough going on at home. What’s happening with the council?”
“We’re dealing with the council. Don’t you concern yourself with that just now. Listen to me, how do you honestly think Karina will react to the pack? Do you think it will be too much too soon?”
“I think it will be, but keeping away from it won’t help matters. We’re wolves, Jasper. We need our pack.”
“I’m asking because, if you want, you and Karina can come home to my house in Anderson. Stracey and I will be there from time to time, and Lisa and Markus will be there when they’re not at university or in the camp, but it will give you both time together without the pressure of pack life. You don’t need to answer now. Think about it. Discuss it with Karina. Do what’s best for you both.”
It might not be a bad idea. “Will Carlos not mind?”
“I spoke it through with Carlos after I spoke with Lelland last night. He told me Karina was awake, but it’s going to take time and patience to bring her around to our way of life. The option is yours. You have all of our backing.”
I feel my heart swelling with pride. It doesn’t matter when Jasper plays that guardian role, he does it so well. “Thank you, Jasper. I appreciate it. How’s everyone? Lisa and Markus. Joel and Darcy?”
He laughs and I sit back to enjoy what’s about to come. “Your sister and Markus are fine. Joel and Darcy, on the other hand… let’s just say they’re trying to come to terms with their feelings. Add Morag into the mix and she’s got Joel and Darcy married with a dozen pups.”
“I’m glad I got you as the guardian.” I chuckle. “Poor, Joel. How’s Darcy doing?”
“It’s going to take her a while to fit in with the pack, but everyone seems to love her, which is a good thing. The girls have been through so much, but now the council is hell bent on punishing Darcy for using black magic.”
“You can’t be serious.” I rub my temple as I absorb this piece of information.
“I wish I wasn’t serious, but Carlos put the council off his land for the time being. It won’t be the end of it, but we’ll deal with whatever they throw at us. We did the crime, but we also paid for it. Joel is a little crazy with worry at the moment, but hey, it wouldn’t be our pack if we didn’t have some catastrophe happening.”
“We’ll get a break one day, right? I mean, this can’t be normal for every pack.”
“We’ve just had a run of bad luck. We’ll figure it out. We always do. Anyway, I wasn’t supposed to tell you any of that. You just concentrate on getting you and Karina home. Let me know whatever you decide to do with my house or the pack. If you need me, just give me a call. Okay?”
“I will. Thank you, Jasper. I feel better just speaking with you.”
“That’s what I’m here for, son. Take care of yourself and we’ll speak later.”
“You too. Bye.” I hang up the phone and run my hands through my hair. I’ve become used to being with Jasper and Callum, and I feel like a little piece of me is missing when they’re not around.
***
It feels like forever since I left Karina with Lavina, but I did as I was told. I got a shower, dressed in joggers and a loose t-shirt, phoned Jasper, and now I’m making coffee as Lelland sets the table. My wolf is anxious being away from Karina for this long. I’m living this internal battle. Do I stay here or camp outside the bedroom door until she comes out? I’ve got a lot to learn about mates and women.
“Kev?”
I look up to Lelland. He points over my shoulder and I look around. Walking into the kitchen with Lavina on her arm is Karina. She looks so different. Her skin colour is much better. Her hair falls down her back and shoulders in long, soft curls. Her amazing blue eyes look like they’re dancing in the bright light.
“H-Hi,” I stutter.
Lavina laughs and I pull out a chair at the table. I need to feel like I’m doing something. I’ve never been good with being put on the spot. I have my father to thank for that. A lot of parents push their kids to be bigger and better. Not mine.
“How are you feeling, Karina?” asks Lelland.
Karina startles at the sound of Lelland behind me. I see the look of horror on her face, and I instantly bend down beside her. “It’s only Lelland. You’re safe here. You don’t only have a big bad wolf looking out for you, but you have these two badass vampires looking out for you, too.” I smile.
“Make that three vampires,” says Ashley as she comes bounding through the door, full of energy. “Hi. I’m Ashley. I haven’t actually met you yet.” She holds her hand out to Karina.
Karina shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“I’m here to steal Lelland and Lavina for a little while. We have some business to take care of.”
“What? Lavina too?” asks Karina, sounding startled.
Lavina bends down at Karina’s other side and takes her hand in hers. “I won’t go if you don’t want me to. Kevin is here, and I know you’ll be in his very capable hands. I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss.”
I look down at the floor, because I hate that my mate would rather be with vampires than me. I’d do anything to gain her trust, but right now, I feel like a failure. I feel like I’m not enough for her.
“Okay,” she says on barely a whisper.
“I’m only a call away if either of you need me,” says Lavina as she stands up.
“Breakfast is served.” Lelland places serving platters in the middle of the table and steps back out of sight. He’s picked up on the fact that Karina isn’t comfortable with him around. Saying that, I don’t think she’s entirely comfortable with me either. Will she ever be comfortable with men?
I stand to my full height and walk around to sit opposite her at the table. I nod to Lavina and Ashley, and they leave promptly. I pour some fresh orange juice into our glasses and look up to see Karina looking at me.
“You look a lot better.” I break the silence.
“It’s amazing what getting your hair washed can do.” She leans over and picks up some toast. I really want her to eat more than toast, but it’s more than she’s had over the last few weeks.
Silence falls between us again. “If you’re feeling up to some fresh air after breakfast, maybe we can get you a blanket and you can sit on the porch.”
“I’d like that. Thank you.” She holds her hand over her mouth and the colour drains from her face. “Sorry.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I feel a little sick. It’s passing. I guess my stomach isn’t used to food. Did you call your family?”
I nod and place my napkin down on my plate. “I spoke with Jasper. He has an idea how difficult it will be for you to fit into a busy pack straight away. He asked if we’d like to integrate you into the pack in stages. He has a big house out in Anderson, a smaller village in Scotland. Lisa and Markus use it part time when not in the pack or at school. It would let you get settled into Scotland, get used to the pack, and have time to recover from…” I trail off, because I can’t bring myself to say abuse.
“I don’t want to put you out any more than I already have. I’ll cope wi
th whatever you want to do.”
I shake my head and get up to take a seat beside her. “You haven’t put me out. I’m here because I want to be. To be quite honest, you’ve actually given me a purpose in this life.”
Her head tilts to the side. “What do you mean?”
I didn’t want to burden her with my life, but I think if I share some of my past with her, maybe she will see that we’re not really that different. We’re both broken in one way or another.
“Remember I told you about Jasper being a guardian shifter?” She nods. “He was my sister’s guardian. His sole mission was to protect her. Her mother died shortly after child birth. Lisa and I have the same father, unfortunately. Just a couple of months ago, I didn’t know I had a sister. Not until my father kidnapped her, locked her up in a basement, and beat her. I was under my father’s spell. Since my mother died when I was a child, I was abused by him, locked up to fend for myself for days at a time, made to do heinous things. I didn’t know any better. I had never had a pack life. Not a normal one, anyway. It wasn’t until Lisa walked into my life that I wanted out. I wanted to get her back to her pack. I didn’t care what happened to me, but I knew my sister didn’t deserve that life. Only, the day I was going to get her out, Jasper, Markus, and a few other members of the pack showed up. We all got Lisa out, but she was very ill. Her last wish before she passed out was for Jasper to help me. I didn’t think I deserved his help. I planned on getting Lisa home to her pack and then leaving. But the pack welcomed me with open arms. They showed me what the love of a pack is like. Jasper told me to give it time.”
Karina places her hand over mine. Her action makes me look up from the floor. Tears are spilling down her cheeks. I wipe them away.
“I didn’t tell you to upset you. I just want you to see that we’re not all that different. You might think I’ve put my life on hold for you, but I haven’t. You’ve given me hope of a future.”
She sniffles softly. “What’s the pack like? Did you fit in easily?”
“The pack is amazing. The Alpha, Carlos, he’s got great morals. His pack always comes first. Jasper is just… phenomenal. I’ve never met another person like him, and I doubt I ever will. The love he has for his family is…” I breathe out a sigh, because I don’t want to become emotional. “Lisa and Markus are perfect for one another. They were friends since they were toddlers. It’s only recently that they’ve become mates, but you can see that friendship always shining through. Joel, well, he’s a character. He’ll probably take you under his wing like he did Lisa. He’s a good brother figure to have around. Darcy is his soulmate, but they’re not getting along right now. He blames her for what happened to Jasper, but the pack will help them. That’s what they do.”
