by J. Calamy
Graves was quiet a moment, thinking.
“Well, you know I was in Afghanistan,” he said. Nick made an affirmative noise. “The second time my team was on an anti-drug poppy eradication campaign.”
“You must be fucking kidding me!” Nick shouted. “That is ridiculous!”
“The irony… Well, I had just gotten married, you see. And Janey was in law school and Tilda was a baby, and since I had been…disowned I only had my Army salary. Seeing these poor farmers trying to feed their families, and I was trying to feed mine—and the Taliban were just so bad at the logistics of it all. I mean the market failures and risk management and all the basic logistics of moving the dope from one place to another… It drove me mad.”
“You were mad at the Taliban because they were bad at their business.” Nicholas deadpanned. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“Well, one night Bishop and I, drunk and angry, since we had lost someone on a raid that barely paused less than ten kilos of heroin on its path—bah—what a waste! We talked through the whole how we would do it thing.”
“I went home—and it’s not glamorous you know, barracks housing—a lieutenant’s salary. I did an op in Burma—don’t ask—it was ugly. But I loved the place. Smoked opium for the first time—liked that very much.” He paused so long that Nick wasn’t sure if Graves had fallen asleep. But then he gave a shrug, his shoulders shifting Nick’s thigh, and he continued.
“After…” He gestured to his legs. “I ended up in Burma again. I was in a bad way. The less said about that time the better. Bishop found me—we started running guns and opium. I didn’t set out to manage the whole syndicate, but I suppose I had a knack for the business and the political side of things. My foster father should be proud. He always wanted me to run some empire for him.”
“He doesn’t know?”
“He knows I am alive, and that his men can’t reach me.”
“Is that good?
“He is a bad man, so yes,” Graves said with a sigh.
“You’re a pretty bad man too,” Nick said, planting a kiss on Graves’s cheek. Graves laughed.
“That is fair. I have done some terrible things,” he said.
“And they don’t bother you?” Nick asked.
“Some of them. Some of them don’t,” Graves said with a shrug. “I’ve learned to live with it. I take care of my people. The things I do for them are worth it to me.”
“Graves?” Nick said softly.
“Yes, darling?”
“You need someone to take care of you.”
Graves gave a surprised bark of laughter.
“What nonsense is this now?” he said.
Nick put a hand over his mouth.
“You need someone to take care of you,” he repeated. Graves closed his eyes again and snorted.
He bit Nick’s fingers and said, “Bloody nonsense. I take care of my people. And I will take care of you too, boy. You don’t have to worry.”
“Graves,” Nick said softly. “Admit you need me.”
“What?”
“You heard me,” Nick said. “Admit you need me. Admit it.”
Graves rolled up, grabbing Nick and flipping him sideways, looming over him. He pressed his forehead and nose against Nick’s and breathed a moment, gathering his courage.
“I need you desperately,” Graves whispered. “I want you—more than I can ever describe.”
Nick’s arms were around his neck pulling him in even tighter, and he felt more grounded. He exhaled hard, his fingers digging into Nick’s shoulders.
“You’ve forced me to become better, smarter, kinder,” Graves confessed. “You treat me as a—a whole man—you don’t let me slide or accept my excuses.”
He paused, gasping for breath, terrified at what was coming out of his mouth.
“I am—” He licked his lips, held Nick’s blue eyes with his own. “—I am f-f-falling in l-love with you.”
There was an echoing pause, and Graves felt vertigo so intense he whined. But then Nick’s smile blazed forth, a blush rising like the sun up his throat and over his cheeks.
“Jesus,” he whispered. “You mean it.”
“I do,” Graves said. “I am t-t-t-terrified of you, N-n-n—damn it, darling.”
“Good. I’m terrified of you too,” Nick said, taking Graves’s face in both his hands. “I love you, Graves.” Graves kissed him, hard and raw, wanting to mark him, his heart pounding so hard his ears were ringing.
“Does this m-m-mean,” Graves rasped, “that you will c-c-c-come with me, when I g-go?”
“Yes,” Nick breathed. “My stuff is already here. Russ and I worked out all the details.”
“Christ,” Graves said wonderingly. “I w-w-wonder when he was going to t-t-t-tell m-m-m-me?”
“Maybe when you noticed the funds transferred to a bank account in my name in some place called Seashell?” Nick said. Graves gave a shout of laughter, face on Nick’s chest.
“Seychelles,” he said. “An offshore account? Clever boy.” He couldn’t stop kissing him.
“Insurance,” Nick gasped out. He moaned and Graves mouthed harder on his neck, scraping the scruff on his chin.
“I want you,” Graves said. Nick hesitated, pulling back a little.
“I…”
“I won’t hurt you,” Graves said. “Not ever. But I want you. Now.”
He sat up, took Nick’s face in his hands, and tilted it up to meet him. First, he kissed softly, upper and lower lips, taking his time to feel Nick relax. When he slid his arms around Graves’s middle, Graves kissed him more deeply, parting his lips and coaxing Nick to do the same. The first hesitant curl of Nick’s tongue against his made him shiver. When Nick’s lips parted in a low moan, Graves pressed the advantage and slid his tongue into Nick’s mouth, barely teasing against his teeth, sucking on his lower lip. The kiss deepened, and Graves pushed harder, kneading Nick’s shoulders and plundering his mouth. He wanted. He wanted so badly.
“I’m taking you to bed,” he said.
“Yes,” Nick said, making little huffing breaths against Graves’s neck. Graves stood and picked Nick up, hands under his firm ass, and carried him to bed.
They stripped out of their clothes and Graves pushed Nick back and down. He kneeled between Nick’s thighs and Nick took a deep breath, feeling nervous and worried.
“Graves?” Nick asked.
“Mmm?” Graves replied kissing Nick’s mouth and wrapping him in his arms.
“Are you going to—I mean—are we?” He wasn’t sure how to ask. He licked his lips and tried again. “Are you going to—?”
“Fuck you?” Graves asked with a rumble. “God, yes.” Nick’s cock twitched and he drew in a ragged breath. A thrill of fear went through him, immediately overwhelmed by lust.
“I want it,” he said. “I want you to fuck me.”
“Good boy,” Graves said approvingly. “When you’re ready, I am going to take this hard little ass of yours and make you come without even touching yourself.” His teeth dug into Nick’s throat a little harder, and Nick tilted his head back, wanting more. He whined, feeling his cock swelling against his thigh. He could feel how hard Graves was too.
“I’m going to take you whenever I want, wherever I want. You’re going to live with my cock in you.”
“And when—?” he gasped as Graves squeezed him again, grinding his cock against Nick’s thigh. “When will I be ready?” he asked. Graves smiled at him fondly, showing far more teeth than seemed trustworthy. Nick shivered but leaned in to kiss his lips anyway.
“Hmmm,“ Graves purred and slid a hand down between them, ignoring Nick’s prick and reaching under his balls. His fingers grazed on Nick’s opening.
“Lay on your belly,” he said. Nick did and Graves sat up, straddling the back of Nick’s legs.
“Show me your pussy, Nick,” he said. Nick didn’t hesitate. He reached back with both hands and spread his cheeks, his long pale fingers digging into the flesh of his ass. Gra
ves groaned out loud.
“Oh God, so beautiful, no bigger than the tip of my bloody thumb. I’m going to wreck you, Nick.” He bent slowly at the waist, his hands on either side of Nick’s hips. He kissed the little pink bud gently. Nick gasped and goose bumps pebbled his lower back. Graves kissed him again, slower this time, letting his tongue dab at the folds and bumps of Nick’s anus. He kissed it like a mouth.
Nick whined and arched back.
“That’s so goddamn hot,” Nick blurted. “I want you to wreck me, Graves. I want everything.”
“A bloody virgin,” he laughed. “Oh, darling, your ass was made to be eaten,” he mumbled, beginning to lick more firmly. “Made to be fucked. I’ve never seen a prettier thing in my life.”
Nick’s body could barely react to what was happening. His cock was rock-hard, and his skin shivered uncontrollably. The sounds he was making didn’t even feel like they came from his own mouth. He was getting soft. Soft and open. His thighs wanted to spread, desperately needed to spread, but Graves had them secure between his own and the steel and composite carbon fiber were not moving an inch.
When Graves added fingers, nudging and stroking in circles while his tongue dipped and pushed, Nick bit down on the blanket and grunted deep in his chest. He shoved back, not caring if it threw Graves off. The sensations were so intense he couldn’t think. He heard Graves laugh and yelped when he smacked Nick’s ass.
“What are you trying to do, sweet boy?”
Nick squirmed and scrambled until he was free and then spread his legs as far as they would go. His knees up by his ribs and back arched hard, he settled again.
“Oh I see,” Graves purred. He lay his body so his cock slotted between Nick’s cheeks, pointed down. Nick could feel the shaft rubbing against his hole. “You were trying to offer that little ass up for me?”
Nick nodded frantically, his hips stuttering. Graves chuckled.
“Good. Good boy,” he said. “That’s how I want you thinking.”
He pulled a condom and the bottle of lube from the side table and put some on his fingers before reaching for Nick again. His fingers circled Nick’s opening, barely using any pressure at all and Nick sighed, lolling his head down to his forearm.
“I want you. But I won’t push,” Graves said. “You’re mine now. I can take my time.”
“I want it,” Nick said breathily. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he felt the big man’s eagerness. His channel clenched at the idea, squeezing against Graves’s fingers that were still circling.
“You like the idea of having me inside you,” Graves rumbled. It wasn’t a question. Nick nodded, his eyes still closed.
“You are going to have to say it sooner or later, Nick.” Graves crooned. “I am going to make you say it, make you beg for it, in fact.” He poured more oil on his hand and massaged the area behind Nick’s balls more firmly, digging his fingers into the muscles at the tops of Nick’s thighs, pushing around his entrance.
“I want it,” Nick whispered.
“Say it, baby boy,” Graves growled and Nick shuddered as Graves’s thick finger pushed into him.
“Holy shit. That feels— Oh God. I want you to fuck me, I just—” Nick’s voice shook. Graves finger was sliding in and out. Inside. Inside my body, Jesus. Not like when I do it at all.
“You’re nervous,” Graves said. He slid a hand over Nick’s forehead, sweeping his sweaty hair back from his eyes. He also added a second finger, and Nick’s hips twisted in pleasure as Graves stroked down over his prostate.
“Will it hurt?” Nick gasped.
“If I am not careful? Yes. It could hurt a lot. But I won’t ever hurt you.” Then the liar nipped Nick’s left ass cheek and slapped it so hard Nick yelped. “Not unless you ask me to,” he said. Nick moaned, mouth open and neck arched.
“I want it hard,” Nick said, his breath catching as he heard himself. “I like it rough.”
“I don’t think you know what you are asking,” Graves said with a laugh. But then he forced both fingers in as far as he could reach and yanked Nick more tightly into his arms. “But you are going to get your wish, eventually. I have been staring at that ass of yours long enough. I want to breed you until you cry, Nick,” he snarled. “So hard you beg me to stop.”
“Don’t stop,” Nick moaned, “Please, Graves, please, even when I beg.” He was panting openmouthed now.
“What are your safe words, darling?” Graves asked, twisting his wrist, pulling Nick open. His self-control was slipping fast. He tore the condom wrapper with his teeth and fumbled it on, wincing at how tight it was.
“I don’t know,” Nick said.
“All right. Silver means slow down, hammer means stop,” Graves said. “Do you understand?”
“Yes,” Nick said. “Silver. Hammer.”
“Good boy,” Graves said, licking over Nick’s lips. “Don’t hesitate even for a moment, Nick. Use your safe words, baby. Don’t try to tough it out.”
“Okay,” Nick said faintly. His hips were moving on their own, rocking into Graves’s palm.
“Good,” Graves said, and Nick moaned as Graves’s hands returned to his opening, stroking and nudging and now finally pushing a third finger all the way in. Nick gasped at the feeling but didn’t resist. He had fingered himself before; he forced his body to relax and let Graves work.
“Such a good boy,” Graves said approvingly as Nick’s ass swallowed his fingers. “Are you going to open up for me?”
“Yes,” Nick gasped as Graves tugged at his rim, pulling and pushing to open him.
“I want to bury myself in you Nick,” Graves growled. “You’ll be so beautiful on my cock.” Graves resumed moving his fingers, turning his wrist gently. His other hands rubbed slow circles on Nick’s lower back, soothing and gentle. “But it will hurt at first.”
“I want it” Nick gasped, feeling his rim widen around Graves’s fingers. “Please, Graves.”
Graves crooked his fingers and brushed Nick’s prostate. Every time he did, Nick’s cock gave a little spasm, precome dribbling freely onto the sheets. Nick brought his arms in front of him and rested his forehead on them. He pushed back against Graves’s fingers in little rocking movements, relishing the slide.
“Please—I can’t stand this anymore,” Nick said, his teeth clenched.
“Be more specific, baby boy,” Graves said. He spread his fingers and fucked them into Nick a little harder, twisting them, holding Nick’s rim open. Nick cried out and pushed back hard, his cock slapping against his belly.
“Fuck me,” Nick whispered and he felt Graves pause. “I’m ready. It’s my first time, it’s supposed to hurt.” Graves pulled his fingers out and rested his hands on Nick’s hips.
“I won’t hurt you, Nick. Remember your safewords, darling. Understand?” Graves whispered in Nick’s ear.
“Turn over.”
Nick did, his legs shaking like a new foal. Now that it was real, that it was really going to happen, he was breathing in little hiccuping gasps. Looking up at Graves like this, with his legs spread, was terrifying. Graves smiled. His eyes disappeared and he folded over, wrapping Nick up in his arms.
“My darling, you look like you’re facing a firing squad,” he laughed. He kissed Nick then, slow and firm, warm full lips and curling tongue. It felt like a kiss in a movie—Nick’s brain wasn’t up to sophisticated analogies—but Graves was taking what he wanted, and Nick was melting into it, offering up his mouth, his throat, feeling the trembling in his belly shift from fear to eagerness.
Graves’s fingers found their way to his opening again, gentle strokes, pushing in, pulling out, circling.
“Stay soft for me, Nikki,” he said. “Now look at me.”
Nick did. Graves’s amber eyes, with their flecks of darker brown, were peaceful, calm. Nick sighed.
“That’s it,” Graves said. “I have you. Hold on to me.”
Nick crossed his wrists behind Graves’s thick neck and wrapped his legs around his waist. He felt th
e large hand under his tailbone, lifting him, shifting. Then Nick felt it. Soft and round, impossibly silky—the head of Graves’s cock felt as big as a billiard ball. Nick squeezed his eyes shut.
“No,” Graves said. “Look at me.”
Nick opened his eyes. Graves was shaking his head, clearly amused. He pushed his forehead against Nick’s.
“Breathe with me,” he said. “Breathe and keep looking at me.”
The first nudge and push, feeling his outer ring spreading, without any resistance, made Nick let out a long slow groan.
“See?” Graves said. “I won’t hurt you. Keep your eyes on mine my love. And breathe.”
Slow, it was so slow, the sense of wrongness, of something inside his body where nothing should be, could barely catch onto Nick’s mind. There was a burn, but it felt far away. Graves nudged in and out, pushing a little more each time. He rumbled his approval to Nick in a torrent of words, keeping him grounded and present.
“That’s it my sweet boy,” he said, his eyes blinking and breath rasping against Nick’s mouth. “So soft; what a good boy; push down now; let me in.”
Nick felt like he had no control over his body, the only thing keeping him remotely in place were Graves’s eyes and his deep voice.
Something inside him gave way, and the huge cock slid forward again. The stretch defied belief, and Nick found his mouth opening, matching the feel inside him.
“You’re so tight my love,” Graves said through gritted teeth. “You’re doing so well. I’m inside you now; it’s okay. Almost there.”
Almost? The idea was impossible. Graves was filling every available scrap of space inside him. Nick’s cock was soft against his belly. He didn’t think he would ever be hard again. Every part of his awareness was between his thighs, was the slow in and out push into his open body. It went on forever. Only holding his eyes kept the intensity from being too much. It was Graves. Everything was all right because it was Graves inside him, Graves taking him. He trusted Graves.
“That’s right, darling,” Graves said softly. “It’s me. This feels right because it’s me. You’re mine now.” Nick whined, realizing he had been speaking out loud.
