Memories of the night before flooded her mind. The dark theater, the tiny baby. The warm kisses.
“You’re an idiot,” she grunted out loud. She ran harder, trying to outrun her desire to go straight to Oscar’s house and demand an explanation.
She needed to leave.
She slowed to a walk, breathing heavily as she approached the sweeping entrance to the Heartswell Hospital. What was she doing here? Going to visit Oscar’s family, when Oscar obviously wanted nothing to do with her?
What would Savannah do?
This was a question she had asked herself on repeat over the last few months since Savannah’s death and she was tired of it. Savannah would go right up to Oscar and—
Agnes was not Savannah. And this was not Savannah’s life.
Agnes turned to leave, to head back to the Nook and pack up her things and disappear when a car pulled into the Hospital parking lot.
“Agnes, my goodness child, whatever are you doing?” Belinda climbed out of the driver’s seat, her silver curls peeking out under her colorful toque. “You’re not running, on Christmas morning?”
“I am.” She smiled and helped Belinda pull a flower arrangement and a small suitcase out of the back seat. Irenia appeared from the passenger seat. “I was just going to leave…”
“Good heavens, look at you,” Irenia tutted. “Where is your family, dear. Surely you should be spending Christmas with family?”
Agnes looked at the ground, the tears threatening all over again.
“Come with us.” Belinda glared at Irenia. She slammed the car door and grabbed Agnes by the sleeve. “I went by Nora’s place and packed her some things. We’ll be like the three wise men coming to bring gifts.”
“I don’t have any gifts,” Agnes said. “I have nothing.”
“You have exactly what Nora needs, dear.” Irenia took her other arm, her voice warm. “Friendship and support and hopefully the voice of reason. Why on earth that young woman decided to evict her husband, right when she needs him the most, I will never understand.”
“You don’t need to understand, Cousin.” Belinda marched toward the front doors. “You just need to shut up every now and then.”
Irenia pulled them all to a stop. “Well, I never! Belinda Crawley, you take that back.”
Agnes, trapped between the two women, tried not to breath too loudly.
“I will not,” Belinda said. She stomped her foot. “You say whatever you like, you don’t think of other people’s feelings, and you think you are the ultimate arbiter of what is right. Well,” she paused. “You are wrong, Irenia.”
“I only mean to—”
“I know. You only mean to help. But you never pay attention to anyone else’s needs but your own. Agnes has no family, Irenia. You know this, so why do you bring it up and make her feel bad about it, you insensitive cow?”
“Belinda, it’s all right—” Agnes attempted to intervene, but Belinda had built up a head of steam that seemed to be several decades in the making.
“A cow, am I?”
“You are.”
“Well, I never—”
“Yes, you do. You always do. And I have had enough.”
Agnes gently removed the potted plant from Belinda’s arms. She stepped away from the two ladies who continued to sputter at each other in the frosty morning air. She looked from one to the other. This was probably really good for them.
“I’m going to see Nora,” she said, backing toward the doors. The ladies ignored her.
“And there was that time when Uncle Drew came to visit and you…”
“You never liked Uncle Drew! Don’t you remember when…”
Agnes turned and walked into the hospital, leaving them nose to nose.
∞∞∞
“We’re simply not good together,” Nora said, watching as Agnes gently rocked the sleeping baby in her arms. “Our marriage really ended quite a while ago, but I kept telling myself that we had to stay together because of the baby. That I couldn’t leave him when I was about to have his child.”
“What changed your mind?”
Agnes couldn’t take her eyes off Ellen’s tiny face, her eyes squeezed shut in sleep and her skin almost translucent. Paisley sat in a chair on the other side of the room, grinning at her like this was the best Christmas ever.
“You did.”
Agnes looked up. “What? Me? How?”
“Your sister’s list.” Nora shrugged. She looked sheepishly at the blankets, twisting the edge of the sheet between her fingers.
“I don’t understand. Savannah’s Bucket List inspired you to leave your husband just weeks before having a baby?”
“No, you did.”
Agnes groaned. Nora hadn’t liked her from day one, but she had hoped that maybe the birthing experience provided enough bonding for them to be friends. Apparently not.
“Nora, you aren’t making any sense,” Paisley said. She moved over to Agnes’ chair and reached out for the baby. Agnes handed the warm bundle to the new aunt reluctantly. She would never have a niece to love. She would probably never have a baby of her own.
She pried her thoughts away from Oscar and his kisses.
“Ok, look.” Nora sat up a little against her pillows. “Here’s quiet, mousy little Agnes trying to live her sister’s version of her life. Doing things she didn’t want to do, feeling pressure to live up to something that someone else decided for her because she felt it was the right thing to do. Even though it was hard. Even though some people thought she was crazy.”
Agnes blinked at her, speechless.
“Nora, that’s garbage and you know it.” Paisley was never speechless. “Agnes may have been doing things her sister suggested, but she made her own choices. She’s not some empty-headed puppet.”
“Yeah,” Agnes whispered.
“Exactly. I decided to make my own choices.” Nora shrugged again. “Just because I married Paul and we’re having a baby doesn’t mean we have to stay together when we’re so unhappy. I think Agnes’ sister wanted her to be happy, and she decided that Agnes needed to do difficult things in order to find the strength to figure out what she needs.”
“Oh,” Agnes whispered again.
“I am doing a difficult thing, in order to find out what I need. Leaving Paul is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, and I’m terrified, but I’m already happier than I was, even inside of the fear of what it will mean for me to be a single mom.”
“I don’t know if I’m happier—” Agnes didn’t get to finish her sentence.
“Let me see that baby!” Nick bellowed as he slammed the door open and approached the bed with arms open wide. He looked at baby Ellen and his face softened as he reached out one thick finger to touch her gently on the forehead. He looked up and winked at Agnes, a huge grin lighting up his face. “You and me, Aggie. We could make one a these little things, you know what I’m sayin’?”
He waggled his eyebrows at her, but she ignored him.
Oscar stood in the open doorway, avoiding her eyes.
Twenty-One
She had to admit that slapping Nick had been a bit of an extreme reaction, especially since it was Oscar whose neck she wanted to ring, but it was satisfying none-the-less.
She grabbed a fistful of snow as she marched up the hill away from the hospital, hoping the icy cold would take the sting out of her palm. She wasn’t sure what would take the sting out of her heart.
It was all Savannah’s fault anyway.
She reached up and pulled the pendant out from under her sweater. It felt warm and alive in her hand and it calmed her to feel it’s solid weight around her neck.
It wasn’t Savannah’s fault. None of it was.
Agnes had been running from her grief and her loneliness for months. It had only been these past few weeks in Heartswell that she had started to feel herself come alive again. She had spent a lifetime hiding behind Savannah, and it was only now that she realized she would be ok on her own.
&n
bsp; She supposed she owed that to Nora.
Or maybe Irenia.
Or Oscar.
She grunted, stuffing the pendant back inside her sweater.
“I think you two would make beautiful babies,” Oscar had said, finally entering Nora’s room but still not looking Agnes in the eye. Nick had pounded him on the back and laughed.
“You giving us your blessing, old man?”
Belinda and Irenia entered the room, arm in arm. “More blessings?” Irenia asked. “My heavens you’d think it was Christmas or something.”
Chairs were bustled and moved. The baby was passed around. Irenia and Belinda seemed to have made up and were being nauseatingly polite with each other. Oscar went out of his way to stay as far away from Agnes as possible, even though she followed him with eyes like daggers until he finally looked up and smiled at her sadly.
“Where did you go last night?” she asked, ignoring the surprised looks that turned from her to Oscar and back again.
“I felt—” Oscar looked at the baby in Nora’s arms. Paisley gestured with her hand to tell him to get on with it. “I felt it best to return to my house. It had been a big night.” He paused. Agnes glared at him. He swallowed and shuffled his feet. “I was quite tired.”
“Quite tired?” She wasn’t going to make a scene. She wasn’t. “You didn’t seem tired when you were kissing me in front of the fire.”
Oh yes, she was.
She hadn’t waded this far through the Bucket List to be thrown quietly aside like an old rug. She was a thespian, a criminal mastermind, a marathon runner, a kidnappee and a midwife. Making a scene seemed perfectly reasonable.
“Kissing?” Belinda gasped, looking at Oscar like he suddenly had no clothes on.
“Kissing?” Paisley beamed like she had opened exactly the present she had hoped for.
“Kissing?” Nick groaned, looking at Agnes like he wanted to see her with no clothes on and suddenly realized he never would.
“It was… nothing… I just…” Oscar stammered, flushing red over his dimpled cheeks.
It was nothing.
Agnes stood up.
She carefully leaned over Nora and kissed Ellen lightly on the forehead.
“Congratulations, Nora. She’s perfect,” she said. “I think you’re probably right about being single. It’s definitely the smartest choice.”
“Wait a minute.” Nick held up his hands, frowning. He reminded her of a basset hound, droopy good humor making him ridiculously adorable. “You kissed her? You kissed my girl?”
“She’s not your girl,” Oscar said, looking at Agnes. “But she probably should be.”
“What?” Agnes sputtered.
“Dad!” Paisley moaned.
“Right on!” Nick nodded. He wrapped his arm around Agnes’ waist and lifted her to her toes.
“Good heavens, the actions!” Irenia whispered to Belinda who merely blinked rapidly, turning from one to the other.
“Put me down, Nick!” Agnes squirmed in his arms until he set her back on her feet. He pursed his lips and closed his eyes, waiting for her to kiss him.
She slapped him instead.
And now, she walked back to the Nook alone, her hand stinging, her pride wounded and her heart… well.
She hated to admit it, but she was afraid her heart was still the property of a ridiculously tall bookshop owner with dimples and dark eyes.
Idiot.
∞∞∞
After Agnes slapped Nick and stormed out, the hospital room seemed even more crowded. Everyone turned to stare at Oscar, as if expecting an explanation. Everyone except Nick. Nick had it all figured out.
“Chicks, man.” He shook his head. “They just don’t know what they want, ya know what I mean?”
All the various chicks in the room frowned and pursed their lips. Baby Ellen made a mewing noise and Nora shifted her in her arms, patting the baby lightly on the back as she settled.
“Nora, where is your husband?” Irenia asked, only to suffer a sharp elbow from Belinda. “Whatever is wrong with that? I’m asking to be polite. Is that not a polite question?”
“This is exactly what I was trying to tell you, Irenia,” Belinda huffed under her breath as if no one else could hear her. “Nora gave Paul the boot, you know that. Mind your own business, for goodness sake.”
Oscar leaned against the wall, glad the focus had shifted away from his failed romantic efforts. He should follow her. He should go, right now, and find Agnes and explain that he was simply not the man she needed. He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed miserably. He had already proven it in spades. He wanted to follow her, just to see her again.
“Paul was here last night, Irenia,” Nora said, interrupting the cousins’ ongoing argument. “He saw the baby, he had a bit of a cry and he left. I expect I’ll see him again today and we will discuss how we’re going to proceed.”
There were tears in Nora’s eyes. Paisley stood up and put her hand on her sister’s arm.
“You’re not going to do this alone, Nora,” she said. “We’re all here for you.”
“Well, naturally.” Irenia nodded solemnly. “When my Patricia divorced her cad of a husband, I practically moved in for weeks. I was inestimably helpful, I assure you. So have no fear, Nora dear.” Irenia patted Nora’s feet at the edge of the bed. Oscar stifled a smile at the look of distress on Nora’s face. “I’m an old hand at dealing with the ravages of divorce. Ravages, I say.”
Belinda groaned and was about to reprimand her cousin yet again when Nick grunted and sat down heavily on the side of the bed. Nora shuffled her legs over to make room for him. He slouched dejectedly and sighed.
Oscar glanced at Paisley who came to stand beside him.
“I guess I lost her,” Nick muttered.
“Nick dear, I’m not sure you actually ever had her.” Belinda patted his shoulder kindly. “She was quite clearly falling in love with Oscar, poor girl.”
Oscar rolled his eyes. Where was a quiet empty room with a good book when you really needed one?
“Happens every time,” Nick moaned, shaking his head. “I’m too much for ‘em. The women. I’ve just got too much love to give, and they can’t handle it.”
Paisley snorted and whispered to her father while Belinda continued to console Nick. “You messed up, Pops. You know that, right?”
“I am beginning to understand that, yes.” He nodded. He had messed up, big time.
“It’s not too late. She’s still in Heartswell, and she’s not finished with her list, even though she might be pretending to be finished with you.”
“Pretending?”
“Dad. You’re an idiot.”
“I have been told so, yes.”
“What were you thinking? Kissing her, and then running away? Are you twelve?”
“I’m forty-seven, Paisley. I’m a grandfather for goodness sake. And I, obviously, don’t have as much love to offer as, say, our friend Nick for example.”
He gestured at the large man sniffling on the edge of the bed.
“You can fix this.”
He shrugged. The Book Nook would be dark and quiet. He had a copy of the New York Times already folded to the crossword page, resting on the arm of the big chair by the fire. He could have a glass of port and—
“You’re not running off to be all alone and literary, Dad.” He hated it when Paisley read his mind.
“What do you mean, literary?”
“You know exactly what I mean. Hiding behind big words and thick books instead of taking a risk and getting involved in the world around you.” Paisley leaned against him, her head barely reaching his shoulder.
“I am inextricably involved in the world,” he said, gesturing at the Crawley cousins. “I have coffee with Belinda regularly, and I took part in your little play… very much against my wishes, I may remind you.”
“And…”
“And what?”
“And, I don’t know.” She shoved him with her elbow. �
��You had a great time, and you fell in love with a beautiful woman, and you were there when your granddaughter was born. None of which would have happened with your nose glued to a book. No big deal.”
He looked down at his youngest daughter, her spiky hair outlining her smiling face as she beamed at him.
“I didn’t fall in love, Paisley,” he said uncertainly. “I experienced a momentary attraction, as any man would—”
“As any man would when a beautiful woman wants to kiss him!” She raised her voice and everyone turned to look at him. Nick sniffed loudly. “You weren’t an item on her list, Dad. You were her choice. She chose you, and you’re letting her get away, why? So you can do crosswords on a Saturday night?”
“Ok, listen up.” Nick stood up, rubbing his chin like he was a detective at a crime scene. “You in love with Aggie, Ozzie, or what?”
Paisley giggled.
“Yeah, Ozzie,” she chortled. “Or what?”
“I don’t think that’s—” Oscar’s heart raced and he was afraid he might be having a heart attack. She was getting further away by the second. Why couldn’t he act?
“That’s yer problem right there, Oz.” Nick nodded sagely, including Belinda in his summation of Oscar’s character. Belinda merely blinked. Nick walked over to Oscar and poked him several times in the chest. “Ya think too much.”
“Amen to that,” Paisley said under her breath.
“I’m too old.” Oscar shoved himself away from the wall as Nora looked at him sharply. He took a deep breath and tried to lower his voice. “I’m almost a quinquagenarian.”
“And ya use too many big words.”
“I’m a grandfather, Nick. Agnes hasn’t even had her own children yet. What do I have to offer her?” He moved to the middle of the room, shoving past Nick as his own arguments rose up to challenge him. “A boring bookshop in a sleepy town where we read big books and go to bed by nine?”
Love Like the Dickens: A Heartswell Harbour Romance Page 13
