by Holly Jacobs
“Thanks.”
Colm came running up to them and threw himself at Liam, giving him a brief hug. “Oh, man, Liam, did you see me working? I got the carts and I picked up junk in the parking lot. People are pigs, Vic says, but we can’t say that to them ’cause the customer is always right, even if they’re pigs, right, Anna?”
Anna stifled a chuckle. “Right, Colm.” Of course, the words he’d uttered were loud enough that anyone in their vicinity would have heard his proclamation.
“I’m all done here, Liam. I’ve been working real hard, and that makes a guy hungry. Anna’s been following me around, but not working, but I guess she’d be hungry, too.”
“I am,” she confirmed. She looked at Liam and knew that her hunger didn’t have much to do with food.
“We should get lunch, right? You can wait here, Anna. Vic’ll help me put stuff away and do my card thing, but I think I can do that by myself already.” He looked at Vic for confirmation.
The older man nodded. “Sure, bud, come on with me.”
Colm fell into step with Vic, and the man patted his shoulder.
“Bud. That’s what Liam calls me. ‘Hey, bud. Come here, bud.’ I like it.”
Vic chuckled. “I’m glad. I’m sure I’ll call you that a lot. It’s my word.”
“I don’t have a word. Maybe I should…” His voice faded as they entered the grocery store.
“I think that was Colm’s polite way of firing me from coming to work with him,” Anna said. “Actually, I think it may be time to cut back my sessions with Colm. He’ll be busy here now, and there’s not much more he needs from me.”
“You know, despite the fact I wasn’t excited when you started coming over, I find I’m equally not excited to hear you won’t be.”
“I’ll still be by to work with Colm, only not as often. Maybe one day a week? He still has more things to learn, and I’d like to help him,” she paused, then added, “if that’s okay with you?”
“It’s only okay with me if you’ll come over more often for non-work reasons.”
Anna smiled and slid closer to Liam. They sat on the bench, thigh touching thigh, arm touching arm. It felt good. Right.
“I think I could be convinced to spend more non-work time with you.” Separate business from pleasure, she reminded herself. “And I wanted to check with you about Colm. I’d like him to spend more time with Gilly and Josh, too. They really hit it off.”
“Sure. I’m glad he’s got friends.” Liam was staring at her with a glassy quality to his eyes.
Since Liam seemed in such a good mood, and so comfortable with Colm’s growing autonomy, maybe this was a good time to talk to him about Colm eventually living on his own. “Uh, I think he could use friends, and I want to discuss—”
Liam didn’t wait to hear what she wanted to discuss. As a matter of fact, talking seemed to be the furthest thing from his mind as he leaned over and kissed her. Not a deep, embarrassing-in-public sort of kiss, but rather a nice buss on the lips that was filled with the promise of something more intimate.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.” Liam’s grin belied his apology. He looked way too pleased with himself.
All thoughts of Colm and serious discussion fled. The only thing Anna could think about was an upcoming date with Liam.
THE NEXT WEEK went by as fast as the previous one.
Liam took Anna on their solo date on the lake. Her hair went wild in the wind.
And when he’d taken her below deck and made love to her, her hair fanned out on the bed, wild and alive.
He wasn’t sure why he was thinking of that now, as he stood, unnoticed in the hallway, watching Anna with Colm in the kitchen. He loved seeing how she was with his brother. She brought out the best in Colm.
And if he was being truthful, she brought out the best in him as well.
“…You know, Colm, it’s very kind of you to offer to take out the garbage,” Anna said, as she stirred whatever she was making on the stove.
Colm was sitting on a stool at the island, pushing at what appeared to be a bunch of dough. “You do what you can.”
“That’s a new saying,” Anna said.
“Yeah, Vic at work says it lots. He helped me the other day when someone knocked down boxes of crackers and I had to restack ’em, and he came over and helped and I said thanks, and he said—”
“You do what you can?” Anna guessed.
Colm look surprised that she knew. “Yeah, that’s right, Anna. Vic, he says that everyone has things they do good. Me and him, we’re good stackers, only he’s good at numbers, too, and helps Mr. Keller with adding all our store’s numbers up, but he’s good at boxes, too.”
“He’s a nice man.”
Liam remembered meeting Vic last week. He’d have to make sure and thank him next time he saw him.
“Yeah, he’s real nice. I helped him carry some boxes in, and he said, ‘Thanks, bud.’ He likes me.”
“That was very nice of you, Colm.” That was the thing about Colm, he was all heart. “And of course he likes you. You’re very nice.”
“Hey, you do what you can.” He laughed, and Anna did, too.
That was the sound that had filled the house since Anna had come into their lives. Suddenly, Liam could see her here permanently. He’d always thought having a serious relationship would be hard, since very few women would want to take on Colm. But that wouldn’t be a problem for Anna.
It was early in their relationship, but for the first time in his life, Liam could see a potential future with a woman.
Not any woman—with Anna.
“So how was work, other than restacking the crackers?” she asked.
Colm didn’t immediately answer, which was unusual. Liam looked at his brother and his normal jovial expression had turned sad.
“Did something happen, Colm?” Anna asked quietly.
“Yeah, these kids came in and I was moppin’ up some water by the carts and they said, ‘Hey, look at the retard.’”
Rage filled Liam where moments before he’d felt nothing but a warm glow. It was the same rage that had made him stand up to Bartle on the bus all those years ago. This feeling was an old friend. He’d spent his whole life with it burning in the background.
“So what did you say?” Anna asked.
Liam was ready to sweep in and say something. And the something he very much wanted to say was that agreeing to let Colm take this job had been a mistake. It was obvious that this job would only end up hurting Colm. But Colm started to answer.
“I told them yeah, that was one word, but it wasn’t a nice one. Then I told ’em what you said. That I’m different, but I’m a special different. And special’s not bad, it’s just different.”
“Everyone’s different from everyone else. And when the different we’re talking about is Colm Franklin, it is definitely a special thing.” Liam watched as Anna squeezed Colm’s hand. “Good for you, sticking up for yourself that way.”
Colm laughed. “Yeah, they were just kids and probably didn’t know better. Maybe next time they will, huh?”
“I hope so, Colm.”
“A couple of the kids laughed when they left the store, but the one guy, he turned around so the other guys didn’t see and gave me a smile. I think he’ll remember.”
“And that’s a good start.”
It wasn’t a good start, Liam wanted to yell. What if Colm had been collecting carts and the kids had started in on him? What if no one was around to stop them from attacking Colm? Liam had promised his parents he’d look after Colm. He could keep him safe, here in the house, but out there? He had no control.
“Hey, Anna?” Colm said.
Anna stopped stirring. “Yes, Colm?”
“You’re special, too.”
She started blinking and Liam suspected it was to keep tears from falling.
“Thanks.”
“You’ve been sad, and I thought maybe you fo
rgot you were special, too.”
Anna hugged him. “You’re right. Sometimes I do forget, so thanks for reminding me.”
Liam saw the second she spotted him. She didn’t tell Colm he was there, instead she said, “Are you going to take that garbage out?”
Colm laughed. “Sure, Anna. I’m good at taking the garbage out. Vic says when I’m workin’ no one’s garbage can ever get too full, ’cause I keep an eye on ’em.” Colm picked up a garbage bag and took it out the back door. As soon as he was gone, Liam stepped into the kitchen.
“How long were you there?” she asked.
“Long enough to have heard Colm’s story from work. Do you still maintain that this job is the best thing for him? Do you know what could have happened? There were times at school when words weren’t enough. Kids tripped Colm, or knocked his books out of his hands. He never seemed to realize they’d done it on purpose, but I did.”
“And you beat them all up?” she asked.
“Not all, but enough that eventually they stopped.” He’d wanted to beat them all up. Every single kid who treated his brother poorly.
“Maybe Colm needed you then, but he didn’t need you today, Liam. He handled it. All by himself. Without hitting anyone. He handled it by being himself. By being Colm. You heard the part about kids being cruel, I heard the part about Colm standing up for himself.”
“I’ve spent my whole life taking care of Colm, and—”
“And you’re having trouble standing back and accepting that Colm can take care of himself. Liam, you treat him as if he’s profoundly handicapped. He’s not. He takes a little longer to learn things than you or I might, but he learns. He deserves—”
“He deserves not to be hurt, not to be called names. He deserves—”
Colm burst back in the door. “Okay, Anna, I took it out and I put the lid on the garbage can real tight so no cats can get into it and make a mess.” He flew at Liam, enveloping his brother in a hug. “Hi, Liam.”
“Hi, Colm.”
“I’m glad you’re home, ’cause I did the shopping for Aunt Betty and Anna and me are makin’ spaghetti for dinner. It’s gonna be sooo—” he drew the word out “—good, ’cause it’s my special…”
“Specialty,” Anna filled in.
“Specialty. I make it great.”
Colm went on talking about his day at work. He didn’t mention the kids to Liam, but talked about Vic, Ariel and Mr. Keller. He talked about his favorite bus driver on the ride home. “And I said, hey Carl, knock-knock. He knew the game all by himself and said, ‘Who’s there, Colm?’ And I said, Colm’s not there, the bus was and he laughed. He likes knock-knock jokes.”
Liam tamped down his anger and laughed on cue. Later he’d try to sort out who he was mad at. The kids who’d called his brother names, certainly, but Anna, too. She wouldn’t listen, and he didn’t know how to express all his fears for Colm without her dismissing them.
Liam knew he couldn’t stand to see Colm hurt. Not when it was his job to protect his brother.
Liam wasn’t sure what to do. He sat in the kitchen, listened to Colm chatter about his day as he weighed his options. He wished he could talk to Anna, but he knew what she’d say and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it.
She’d tell him that Colm needed to be out in the world learning new things. And in his head, he knew she was right.
But in his heart, he knew it was his job to watch out for Colm and that on days like today, he knew he’d failed.
ANNA HAD THOUGHT they were going to fight last week when Liam found out that Colm had been picked on at work, but they hadn’t. On the surface, everything seemed the same. But Anna sensed that things had altered, and not for the better. Liam seemed distant and when she tried to ask him about it, he brushed off her concerns, telling her it was fine. Everything was fine. She didn’t believe him, but didn’t know what to do about it.
So, instead of worrying about Liam, she was concentrating on the moment. And today had been a particularly good one. She’d taken Colm, Gilly and Josh on another outing, and they’d had such a good time. Last week, Liam had been out of town on the Fourth of July, so she’d taken Colm, Gilly and Josh to Wyndham Park for the fireworks. Today, they’d gone to Presque Isle. There was a handicapped-accessible beach with a wooden boardwalk, so that Josh could maneuver in his wheelchair. They’d spent a great day in the sun, feeding seagulls and watching the waves pummel the shore.
Despite her worry about Liam, Anna knew she had to talk to him soon about the possibility of Colm eventually moving into a group home with Gilly and Josh. She was sure they’d get along well.
She was still mulling over how to handle it when she brought Colm home. Liam’s office door had been closed, so they’d waited until he came down. By then, Colm was practically bursting with excitement.
“The door was closed,” he complained. “I wanted to tell you ’bout the beach.”
“Sorry, bud. I was on a business call and needed the quiet.” Liam mussed Colm’s hair then took a seat at the kitchen counter. “But I’m here now.”
“Yeah, you’re here now. So’s me and Anna. We went to the beach, but first we got Josh and Gilly. We took the van again, ’cause it’s hard for Josh to get in a car, but the van’s big and you can put his whole wheelchair in it, but ya gotta buckle his chair in so he don’t go rollin’ all over. We was gonna take you, but your door was closed.”
From his expression, Anna could see that Liam realized that Colm was not happy when the door was closed. “It was nice that you wanted to ask me, but I have to work. Just like you have to work. Only I work here—”
“And I work at the store. Yeah, I know. And I get to work with lots of friends like Vic and Ariel. You gotta work all by yourself.” Colm hurried over and hugged Liam. “Sorry, Liam. If you wanna come to work with me sometime, you can. I don’t got no door, so I won’t even close it.”
Liam laughed. “Maybe someday I’ll bring my computer to the cafeteria and work there while you work in the store.”
“Oh, yeah, we could ride the bus together. That’d be fun.”
Anna had ridden the bus with Colm and knew that he was very much at home on his route now. He knew all the bus drivers by name and a lot of the passengers, too. “Colm, you were telling Liam about the beach.”
“Oh, yeah. It was lotsa fun. Anna, she pushed Josh on this ramp thing, ’cause it’s hard to push wheelchairs in the sand. Only this guy there, he said they make special chairs with big wheels and maybe next time we’ll get one of those for Josh so he can come closer to the water with me and Gilly. But today, Anna pushed him on the wooden thing and me and Gilly, we picked up glass and rocks. We made Josh hold the bucket, ’cause even if his hands don’t work so good, he can hold buckets. We’re gonna take all our beach rocks and put ’em in the garden when we get a house.”
Anna almost groaned. She wanted to be the first to tell Liam that. “Liam,” she started. Immediately, she could see a flash of anger in his eyes.
Colm dug in his pocket. “And here, I got this cool one for you, Liam.”
He handed it to Liam. Liam took it absentmindedly. He continued staring at Anna.
Anna didn’t want Liam to think this was her avoiding telling him something. “Liam, I can explain.”
“So, what about this house, Colm?” Liam asked instead.
Colm was oblivious to the tension. “Gilly and Josh’re gonna get a house together and said maybe I could move in, too, ’cause the three of us is best friends. Anna’s bought them a house, only some people don’t want Gilly ’n Josh to move in, but Anna’s gonna fight ’em, and then they’ll build some ramps for Josh, and they’ll move in, and maybe me, too. I’d sure like to have my own house with the guys. You used to have your own house, Liam, ’fore Mommy and Daddy went to heaven and you moved in here.”
Liam was furious. It took no special ability to see it. “Liam, I—”
He interrupted her. “Colm, why don
’t you get washed up for supper? Do you think you can set the table for me afterwards?”
“For us and Anna?”
“Uh, I don’t think I’m staying tonight, Colm,” Anna said.
“Okay,” he said, agreeable. “I’ll set the table real good, Liam. Bye, Anna.”
“Bye, Colm.”
He ran out of the kitchen and Anna could hear him running up the stairs.
“Let’s take this to the porch,” Liam said, his voice raw.
They went outside and Anna remembered the first day she’d arrived, how much she’d loved this porch. Right now, she’d rather be anywhere but here. “So, this is another one of your spring-it-on-Liam tricks? I never wanted this. I don’t want Colm to move out. I never wanted Colm to get a job. You’ve pushed and prodded, forcing us to do what you think is for the best. I came to you in order to get some help for my brother, now you’re moving him into a group home without even consulting me?”
“Liam, that’s not it.” She tried to explain, but his expression said he wasn’t buying it. “Of course not. I was going to try and talk to you the other day, but then you kissed me and I lost all track of my thoughts. I was going to talk to you tonight. I—”
He shook his head. “I think this is all a mistake.”
“Liam.” She didn’t have to ask if by all this he meant her working with Colm as well as their budding relationship.
“I think you’d better go. And I don’t think you should come back.” Liam’s tone was flat, as if devoid of emotion. But his face revealed what his tone didn’t. He felt betrayed and there was no way to hide that kind of hurt.
“Liam, really, please let me explain.” She didn’t want things to end like this. She’d grown to love Colm…and Liam, she admitted to herself. She’d never told him that and suddenly she wished she had, because given the way he was acting now, she was never going to get another chance. “Please, give me a minute to—”
“No. Your time’s up. I don’t want to hear any explanation, Anna. I don’t want you to tell me how I’ve messed up with Colm—how my parents messed up with him. We—”
