by Viola Rivard
Sitting down at the riverbank, she tucked her feet under her legs and bent down to scoop up water in her cupped hands. The cold liquid was refreshing, and for a few moments, she forgot about the pain she was in and focused on quenching her thirst. Once she’d drunk until she couldn’t drink anymore, she leaned back and ran a hand through her tangled hair.
It occurred to her that this was the first time she’d been outside alone since she’d come to the pack, and despite the cold, it felt pretty good. There was something to be said about fresh air coupled with personal space.
She knew she couldn’t stay long. Not only was it freezing out, but the guys would probably be pissed if they realized she was gone, especially considering …
Mila looked down at her stomach warily. Her fingers twitched with the urge to pull her shirt up and feel around, as if there was even anything there to feel besides her own belly fat. It baffled her that her body could very well be creating life as she sat there, but she would be none the wiser for weeks. The thought of waiting so long to know one way or the other daunted her.
For some reason, the idea of being pregnant didn’t seem as scary as the idea of getting pregnant had. She decided it probably hadn’t sunk in yet, and she’d revisit her thoughts on it when her condition was less ambiguous. Right now, she should appreciate that for the first time in weeks, she wasn’t really stressed out about anything.
A soft crunching sound drew her attention to the woods on the other side of the river. Mila squinted and made out a shadowed form approaching the bank. Groaning inwardly, she prepared herself for the fit Asch was going to throw when he found her away from the den.
Just as she was climbing to her feet, Mila froze. The shadow emerged from the forest, not a wolf at all, but a giant cat.
7
A t age ten, there wasn’t anything Mila hadn’t known the answer to. On a camping trip in the Catskills, one of her friends had asked how the mountains had gotten their name.
“Because it’s full of big mountain cats,” Mila had informed her. “And they’re always killing people who don’t follow the rules and wander off. That’s why they call it Cats-kill.”
“What happens if a mountain cat comes to eat us while we’re sleeping?” her terrified friend had asked.
“Just ignore it and play dead. Everyone knows that.”
Calling the creature she was currently locking eyes with a mountain “cat” didn’t really do it justice. Easily the size of a bear, with massive fangs that looked to be bigger than her forearm, it was quite possibly the scariest thing she’d ever seen in her life.
Having none of the confidence of her younger self, Mila stared at the beast, her eyes wide with terror. Near the edge of the valley, the river was narrow, leaving only a few yards to separate the two of them. She doubted she would make it back to the woods before the creature cleared the river. She had no delusions of escape, but hoped that, as it was obviously some sort of were-cat, she might at least be able to reason with it.
There were many things she could have said in that moment. “Hey, I’m the mate of the alphas, so get lost unless you want to be dog chow,” or even just “Please don’t eat me” would have probably been the smart thing to say. Instead, she raised one hand to the oversized mountain lion and croaked, “Hello.”
Her body tensed as the cat took a step forward, its nostrils flaring. As adrenaline coursed through her veins, she realized that of all the things she had not been prepared for, fighting a giant cat was at the very top of the list.
There were only two choices—fight or flight—and she wasn’t equipped for either. She slipped a hand behind her back and closed her numb fingers around a smooth rock. It probably wouldn’t do anything more than piss the cat off, but she needed to do something.
When the cat was halfway through the river, it stopped abruptly and froze in place. Certain that it was preparing to lunge for her, Mila shot up and hurled the rock as hard as she could.
She had always had miserable hand-eye coordination, so when the rock actually hit the cat square on the head, she was stunned. She was even more stunned when it suddenly bolted from the river, fleeing back into the forest as if she had shot a gun at it. She stared after the retreating form, awestruck.
“Where the fuck is Caim?”
Mila screamed and nearly tripped over her own feet as she spun on her heel. Asch stood a few feet behind her, and he looked livid.
“Oh my god, you can’t sneak up on me like that.”
He advanced on her, his face contorted with fury. “Where’s Caim?” he repeated and grabbed her shoulder. Mila flinched under his harsh glare.
“I don’t know. Sleeping?” she offered.
His eyes widened. “Do you have any idea what could have happened to you?”
Her own temper flaring, she said, “Believe it or not, I happened to notice that I was almost eaten by a giant cat.” Actually saying “cat” aloud had her thinking back to the night they’d come to the new den. Caim had told her that Asch was out scouting for cats. Her eyes narrowed. “You knew about the cats.”
His jaw ticked. “That has nothing to do with you leaving the den on your own.”
“Don’t you think that if I had known there were cats the size of grizzly bears wandering around our totally-unsafe territory, I wouldn’t have left the den?”
Asch sighed and then unexpectedly pulled her into a tight embrace. Despite her desire to cave in and accept his hold, she stiffened, still wanting to be angry with him.
“The valley is safe,” he told her. “And I promise you, I’m going to find that cat and gut it, but right now, all I want is to get you home.”
She allowed herself to lean into him, just a little. Her cheek came to rest on the flat plane of his pectoral muscle. “Anything else you’re keeping from me?” She didn’t actually expect him to answer.
“Tomorrow morning, I’m leaving for Blackthorn.”
She reared back. “What?”
He frowned. “I’m taking a small group of wolves and we’re going to meet with Blackthorn’s leader.”
“Why? What for?”
Mila wasn’t sure what upset her more—the fact he was leaving or that he’d waited until the last minute to tell her. They had just become mates, like, for real mates, and he was going to leave her? Now?
“They attacked Carter County again. More people died.”
“So what?” she shot back but instantly regretted it. She groaned and rubbed her forehead. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, why do we have to get involved? They didn’t attack Tye, did they?”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. If they keep killing humans, then the government is going to get involved. It’ll be a mess for everyone.” He placed a hand on the back of her neck. “We’re not going to fight. We’re just going to talk, and that’s why I need to go.”
Asch lifted her chin, but she refused to meet his gaze. “I’m cold. I want to go back to the den.”
He stood for a moment longer, presumably waiting to see if she had anything more to say. She didn’t.
8
A s they neared the Cairn, Brae and Rosie came out to greet them. In their wolf forms, they pranced alongside the alphas excitedly, oblivious to the trio’s bleak mood.
Caim had just risen from the den as Asch and Mila had returned from the river. She and Caim were both taken completely by surprise when Asch walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Caim fought back for all of about twenty seconds before Asch furiously informed him that she’d nearly been killed. Even more surprising was that Caim wasn’t angry with her. In fact, he hadn’t said a single word to her since they left.
She was left to stew in silence as she rode on Asch’s back, Caim trailing behind them in his wolf form. The longer she thought about everything that had happened, the more she begun to doubt herself.
It had been stupid of her to go off on her own. She should have tried harder to wake Caim, and she shouldn’t have left the den without
one of the males. Even without knowledge of the cats, it was just plain stupid for her to be wandering around the forest in the dark. Thanks to her stupidity, she had driven yet another rift between Asch and Caim, and although Caim hadn’t seemed angry with her, she sensed he was going to go nuclear on her when they got home.
She was also angry at herself for the way she’d reacted to Asch’s news. Sure, he should have told her sooner, but really, what would she have done with the information except sulk? Now, Asch would be leaving in a few hours, and she wasn’t sure she’d be ready to swallow her pride before he left.
Everything was a big mess, and all she wanted was to be able to hit the rewind button and start the day over. She would wake up beside Caim, ignore her thirst, and just snuggle closer to him while she waited for Asch to return.
As they came to the entrance of the den, the females shifted into their human forms. Brae beamed at her, offering Mila her hand. She took it and allowed Brae to help her down from Asch’s back.
“Welcome home,” Brae said and pulled Mila into a fierce hug.
By the time Mila finally freed herself from Brae’s grasp, Asch and Caim had shifted as well. She looked back to Caim, trying to get a read on his face, but he stalked past without sparing her a glance.
Mila’s throat constricted and she felt the fine muscles in her face begin to quiver ominously. Determined to hold herself together, she took a deep, calming breath.
“Brae, come with me,” Asch ordered. “Rose, take Mila to her room. Make sure she eats, and have someone get a bath set up for her. Got it?”
Rose nodded in response. Asch gave Mila a quick pat on the shoulder, then headed inside the den. Still oblivious to the tension, Brae smiled at Mila before heading off after him.
It was worse than Mila had thought. Neither of them even wanted to look at her.
A terrible thought occurred to her. What if this was the way things would be now? She knew, logically, that they were both mad and probably just needed time to cool off, but it did little to make her feel better. Now that the thrall was over, what incentive did they really have to keep her happy? It wasn’t as if they would let her go running back to Tye given that she could be pregnant, and even if she could go back, what the hell would she do if she was pregnant?
“Come, Mila,” Rosie said cheerfully. She placed a hand on Mila’s back, urging her toward the entrance of the den. “What would you like to eat? I saved some pork for you.”
She didn’t want to eat. She wanted to crawl inside a dark hole and scream.
“I’m sick of meat,” she spat and wrapped her arms around her torso. “Don’t you have anything here besides meat?”
Rosie looked thoughtful. “How about fish?”
“I said besides meat.”
Rosie laughed. “Fish is not meat.” Her laughter faded when she caught Mila’s flinty stare. “I believe Gem may have some chips stored away somewhere. Would you like potato chips?”
* * *
Rosie walked on eggshells around Mila for the rest of the morning. The sun had risen by the time Mila settled into her bath. It cast warm light around her bedroom.
If the amount of soap Rosie had poured into the bathwater was any indication, Mila must have smelled terrible. It made sense, considering that, according to Rosie, she’d been gone for four nights.
Four nights. It had been four amazing nights. Four nights of completely shedding her inhibitions and engaging in wild, primitive sex with the two men she loved.
Whoa, loved? Mila sank down in the tub, her heart pounding. She did not love them. She hardly knew them. And could anyone love two people at once? Clearly, she was losing her mind.
She heard shuffling and hushed voices from behind the flap that covered her doorway. A second later, Rosie and Gem appeared from behind the flap. Rosie approached the tub and set a stack of towels down on the floor. Gem came to sit on the other side of the bath. Her eyes sparkled with excitement.
Gem announced, “I’ll wash your back, Mila.”
Mila smiled and lifted her hand from the water to offer up a rag. “You sure know how to say ‘hello’ to a girl.”
Gem accepted the rag and moved behind Mila. “Sorry, I’m just so excited.” She dipped the rag in the water before bringing it up to Mila’s shoulders.
Not one to be ignored, Rosie added, “We all are.”
Mila closed her eyes and flexed the muscles in her back as Gem rubbed the cloth in small circles. “I didn’t think you’d miss me so much.”
“That is not it at all,” said Rosie. “We are excited about the pups.”
Mila felt the beginnings of a headache. “What pups?” With an exaggerated swing of her head, she looked from side to side. “I see no pups here.” Rosie glanced down at Mila’s stomach. “Oh, gimme a break. There’s no way you could possibly know—wait, can you smell it?”
Rosie held her hands up defensively. “No, of course not.”
“We won’t be able to tell for at least a few days, prolly not for a week,” Gem said from behind her.
Mila let out a breath and her shoulders slumped in relief. Her day was already bad enough. The last thing she needed was to find out she actually was pregnant on top of everything else.
“But you did couple with both of the alphas during the thrall,” Rosie went on to say. “There is no way you cannot be carrying at least one of their pups. There would have to be something terribly wrong with you.”
Mila put her head in her hands and groaned, unable to summon the energy to smack the she-wolf. She tried to take a mental inventory of everything that was going wrong in her life.
She had blown Asch off, and he was now giving her the cold shoulder. Caim was so mad he wouldn’t even look at her. She was probably pregnant by one of the two men who currently wanted nothing to do with her. If she wasn’t pregnant, everyone would probably think there was something wrong with her. After all, what were the odds that both men had failed the touchdown?
And what if there really was something wrong with her, and she couldn’t get pregnant? Would they find some other woman, one without a defective uterus, and make Mila leave?
After Mila was clean, dry, and bundled up in her bed, Rosie and Gem left. Mila immediately took advantage of her alone time and cried into her pillows for a good hour.
Crying was usually cathartic for her. After having a good sob-fest, everything always seemed clearer to her, and the things that had upset her didn’t seem so awful anymore.
But today, her tears came in waves. Every time she thought she was done crying, she would think of something else that would send her spiraling back into despair. It was hard to imagine that just a few hours ago, she’d been thinking about how totally unworried she was.
* * *
Mila ignored Asch as he joined her in bed. Lifting the blankets, he climbed under and settled in beside her. When she still made no move to acknowledge him, Asch gathered her into his arms and molded her back against his body. She smelled like jasmine, and beneath that, she smelled like him. Leaving her wasn’t going to be easy.
After discussing it at length with River and Fern, it was clear that he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. According to River, the new alpha of Blackthorn, Talon, wasn’t the one calling the shots; it was a rebellious sect of his wolves that was attacking the county.
Asch wasn’t sure how he was going to help Talon restore order to his pack without making the young alpha look weak, but he had a hell of a better chance of doing it than Caim.
If he wasn’t able to teach the alpha how to manage his wolves, Asch would see to it that the dissenters were taken care of. While leaving a weak leader in power wasn’t an ideal solution, the last thing any of them needed was more dead humans in the area.
He felt the moment Mila finally relaxed in his hold. The tension seeped out of her body and she went boneless against him. Asch nuzzled the back of her neck.
“I’m leaving soon.”
She sniffled. “When will you be ba
ck?”
“I’m not sure. I shouldn’t be gone more than a few months.”
Mila shot up and stared down at him incredulously. “Months?” she repeated. Her mouth hung open.
Asch grinned and hooked a finger under her chin to push her mouth shut. “I’m joking. I’ll be gone a week—two tops.”
She punched his arm, a little harder than what Asch would consider playful, but it amused him nonetheless. He saw her open her mouth to speak, but he wasn’t keen on wasting time arguing. He pounced on her, pushed her back down on the bed, and covered her mouth with his.
He kissed her slowly, cupping her face in his calloused hands as he slid his tongue between her lips. She opened up for him, and he sank his tongue inside of her without hesitation. He flexed his hips against her and drank in her gasp as she felt him stiff and aching for her.
No matter how badly he wanted her, Asch knew he couldn’t take things any further. The mating thrall had just ended, and her body was covered in bite marks and bruises. She was doubtlessly very sore and tired. He’d wait and give himself something to look forward to when he came home.
He pulled back and rubbed his nose against hers affectionately. He was rewarded with her smile.
“Are you still upset with me?” she asked.
Asch cocked a brow. “I thought you were upset with me.”
“I am,” she told him and ran her hand along the side of his neck. “But I don’t want to be.”
“Then don’t be.” Mila tried to come with him as he sat up, but he placed a hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her back down. “Stay, get some rest. I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Why do you have to go now?” she protested. “Can’t you wait a few days?”
“The sooner we intervene, the better,” he said and climbed out from under the covers. He tucked the blankets in tightly around her and then rested his hand on her stomach. “Besides, no one’s getting me or Caim away from the den once your scent starts to change.”
