by Kat Mizera
I nodded. “I understand, but I need to hear her voice. Just in case.”
Liz looked like she was going to say something but then reached for her phone.
Five minutes later, Casey was on the line and though I wished I hadn’t had to wake her, hearing her voice calmed me in ways nothing else did.
“Hi, beautiful.”
“Hi! Did you see the pictures?”
“I did. He’s perfect. I can’t believe you did this.”
“We did it,” she laughed.
“Well, I was only involved in the fun part. You did the hard stuff.”
“It wasn’t that bad. Epidurals are a beautiful thing.”
“I’m glad it wasn’t too horrible.”
“The worst part was that you didn’t see it.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I took a breath. “Listen. I’ve finally got a plan and will be implementing it in a few days. I’m probably going radio silent for a while, but I don’t want you to worry. I’ll have Sandor with me and I’m doing everything in my power to come home to you.”
“Okay.” She sounded less enthused than I would have liked.
“I know you’re worried, but I’m not going to take any major risks.” Except going into Limaj, which was the biggest risk of all, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I love you,” was all she said.
“I love you too. I have to go, but stay strong for me a little longer, okay?”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Kiss my son.”
“I will.”
I disconnected and took a breath. Then I turned to the others. “All right. Let’s get this party started.”
We flew into Istanbul and met Aziz, whom we’d been in contact with for a few days. From there, he, Sandor and I drove into Limaj using an old mountain pass, entering the country through an abandoned checkpoint that only someone with intimate knowledge of the country would know about. There was a safe house twenty kilometers from the border where we could hunker down, refuel and rest up. Once we settled in for the night, we regrouped. I spread maps across a large dining room table, highlighting checkpoints along the borders and small towns where each of us knew ambassadors and other high-ranking government officials we believed would back us up.
“There’s an abandoned railroad station in Luftin,” Sandor said, pointing to it on the map. “From what I understand, there’s also an underground railway beneath it that was abandoned years ago. If we can set up shop there, the underground tunnels and crude train system might be an excellent way to get around if we can get them up and running.”
“We’ll need engineers, something you and I don’t know much about.”
“I can make anything run,” Aziz said. “If we get there and have tools, I can make them go.”
I nodded. “Remember, we tell no one the plans, even if they pledge to join us. For now, we trust no one but each other and Daniil.”
“The three of us can’t run a revolution on our own,” Sandor said.
“No, but we can get an anti-rebellion in its planning stages set up,” I countered, laughing.
He rolled his eyes. “There are days I wonder why I work for you.”
“Just luck, I guess.” I grinned and he grinned back.
We slept fitfully that night but I was up early, as had become habit of late. I made instant coffee and sat by a window drinking it. The pink dragon was in a tiny bag in my pocket and I fished it out, staring at it sadly. It represented so much of what I’d lost, and as I twirled it in my fingers I wondered if there was a way to get it back to Casey. Would she wear it even if we weren’t together? Probably not. It wasn’t safe because it was highly visible and something the press would latch on to.
Realizing this was the kind of distraction that could get me killed, I tucked the ring into the zippered inside pocket of my windbreaker and finished my coffee and a protein bar. We only had supplies for about three days so we’d have to replenish them soon, before we started roaming the countryside and meeting with allies. Once we did, there was always the chance one of them would betray us so we’d be moving from place to place. This plan was insane, I knew that, but I didn’t know what else to do that would keep Casey safe. She had to go on without me, pretending that she’d been in love with Nick all along, in order to keep both her and Lucas safe.
A noise somewhere outside caught my attention and I turned, scanning the area quickly. It was early, not yet light out, and there were no other homes or businesses for at least a hundred kilometers. This was a frigid, uninhabited part of the country that sat between two mountain ranges bordering Georgia. The weather was unpredictable, the terrain unfriendly and population negligible. That’s why we’d chosen it. However, seeing movement in the trees now meant trouble and I let out a low, sharp whistle.
I heard Sandor’s boots hit the floor within seconds and then he was pounding down the stairs.
“What is it?” he asked as he yanked a sweater on over his T-shirt.
“Someone knows we’re here.”
“Shit. We need to go.” He grabbed a box of ammunition from the table and stuffed it inside the backpack he’d left at the ready the night before. “Now, Erik. Move.”
I grabbed my own backpack and looked around. “Where’s Aziz?”
“Aziz!” Sandor ran up the stairs and then back down again a few seconds later. “He’s gone. That’s how they found us. If he took the SUV, we’re fucked.”
We ran into the garage and, sure enough, Aziz had taken the SUV we’d rented in Turkey. However, there was an old pickup truck that had seen better days and I grabbed the keys off a hook by the door.
“I hope you remember how to drive a stick,” I said, tossing them to him.
“Fuck you. Get in.” We heard the back door of the house crash open as we peeled out of the garage and I was thankful the old truck was moving.
“Sonofabitch, I wouldn’t have thought it would be Aziz,” I muttered as Sandor guided us through the woods and onto an old dirt road.
“Nothing surprises me,” he responded, taking a curve a little too fast and sending us gliding sideways.
I didn’t answer since nothing surprised me much after the last few weeks either. This wasn’t the week I was supposed to be having, I thought. Casey and I should have been enjoying our newborn, possibly moving into a wonderful new home. I should have been changing diapers and singing Limaji lullabies to my son. We should have been starting our life together. Instead, it looked like mine was going to end on a dirt fucking road in bumfuck, Limaj. I loved my country and my people, but now that I was about to make the ultimate sacrifice, it simultaneously pissed me off and made me sad.
“They’re behind us,” Sandor said, gunning the engine even though the old truck was already screaming for mercy.
“We might be able to lose them in the trees, but I don’t know if these tires will hold up.”
An explosion so loud I grabbed my ears shook the whole truck and then we were in the air, spinning, turning.
“Hold on!” Sandor yelled.
The truck hit the side of the mountain hard and we flipped, over and over, until I thought it would never stop. When it did, everything was still. The truck, Sandor, time, everything. Then there was nothing but pain.
The first light of dawn was climbing over the horizon and I could vaguely make out Sandor, trying desperately to cut himself free of the seat belt he was tangled in. I tried to help but couldn’t move.
“Hang on, buddy, I’m almost free.” Sandor pushed himself free of the truck and then came around to my side.
“Smell…that?” I gasped.
“Petrol.” He nodded. “The truck is going to catch fire or blow, so I’m going to pull you out even though your injuries look pretty serious and this is going to hurt.”
“Do what you have to do.” I squeezed my eyes shut as he pushed and pulled. With a jarring jolt of pain that ricocheted through my spine and down my legs, he tugged me out of the truck. I tried to open my
eyes but blood was coming from somewhere, covering them.
“They’re coming after us,” he hissed, hunkering down, his large body on mine.
“Go,” I whispered.
“Like hell,” he shot back, pulling his gun from his jacket.
“C-Casey…needs…you.” I was gasping for air, fairly certain I had a punctured lung. Maybe worse. “You have…to…take…care…of her.”
“Dammit, I’m not leaving you.”
“Listen to me.” With what little strength I had, I gripped his jacket. “I’m… done. You and Daniil are…all that’s left of the bloodline. You…” I coughed, sputtering as blood came up. “You have to make sure my woman and…my heir are safe.”
“No.” His voice was firm but his eyes were watery.
“The ring,” I whispered. “In my pocket. Take it. Give it…to her. Someday, he should have it. Tell her, I love…her.”
“Fucking hell, Erik, no!” He shook me but I met his gaze with strength I didn’t know I had.
“Please. Do this for me.”
The voices were getting closer but we bought a little time when the truck exploded, sending sparks and light in every direction.
“Now,” I growled, giving him a little shove.
“God damn you.” He put a big hand on the side of my face. “I would die for you. I will.”
“Not today, my brother. Take care of Casey and my son. Please. Go.”
He wiped the blood from my eyes with his shirt and I felt him digging around for the ring.
“I’ll make him pay for this,” he whispered. Then he was gone, crawling along the rocks and out of sight.
It was getting hard to breathe and I forced myself to slow my thoughts, my heart rate, everything. It was a technique we learned in the military and something I used when the paparazzi got on my nerves. Now it just helped me relax, eased the pain, and let me think about my girl.
Casey fucking Hart. The most beautiful, sweetest, sexiest guitar player in the world. And she loved me. I took pleasure in that, knowing she’d loved me completely. I hated leaving her, leaving my family, a country that needed me, but I had faith in Sandor. It wouldn’t be in vain. Someday, somehow, he would make this right. Maybe I’d even become the good guy martyr that spurred the rest of Limaj into action.
I heard footsteps coming closer. Shit. This wasn’t how my story was supposed to end. Motherfucker. I hated Anwar so much my heart rate kicked up again.
“I’m sorry, Casey.” I whispered into the night as I pulled the revolver out of my jacket. “I love you.”
6
Casey
News of a car accident in northern Limaj hit the news waves early on Wednesday and by Friday morning they’d announced that Prince Tariq al-Hassani was rumored to have been in the vehicle. A small vehicle that hadn’t been identified had careened off a mountain top, crashed into the rocks below, and exploded. There was very little left, just one body found in the debris, too badly damaged to recognize. There would be an autopsy and DNA testing done, but the wheels of justice in Limaj turned slowly, so it would most likely be months before anything would be confirmed. Erik had warned me not to worry, so I was trying, but it was hard.
I turned off the TV and padded into the living room where Nick was having coffee.
“Any news?” I asked softly.
He shook his head. “Nothing new.”
I sank into a chair and shivered even though it wasn’t cold. Luke whimpered in his bassinet and I got up to grab him. We’d debated getting a night nurse, but he was sleeping well and I didn’t want anyone in our private space just yet. A nanny wasn’t optional in the coming weeks, but for now, I preferred it was just the three of us. My mother and Tricia came over almost every day, so I had plenty of help, and Aunt Kari and Skye were coming this afternoon to spend the day with us.
Watching Aunt Kari hold her grandson for the first time gutted me. I wanted them to be part of his life, of course, but without Erik here it was so hard to see his family with our child. Aunt Kari cried the first ten minutes until Skye plucked Luke from her arms and told her to go blow her nose. Skye was teary-eyed too, though, and the three of us had a good cry at that point before we all calmed down and I had brunch served. I hadn’t been able to spend much time with either of them since my non-wedding and it was hard on all of us. I was particularly close to Aunt Kari and had been getting to know Skye when everything happened so I’d missed them. Having them here on a day like today was hard too, but we were all powering through.
“I can’t get over how beautiful he is,” Skye murmured, rocking him. “Newborns are usually pretty funny-looking, but he’s not.”
“He looks so much like Erik did, but with blond hair,” Aunt Kari mused, reaching out to run her fingers along the top of the baby’s head.
“My dad just called,” Nick said, coming into the room. “I’m going to go down and chat with him, something going on in the casino. I’ll see you later?”
I smiled up at him. “Of course.”
He leaned down, kissed one of Luke’s tiny feet and then headed out.
“If I had to have a man that wasn’t my child’s father pretend to be his father,” Aunt Kari said lightly, “it would be Nick. He is so hot.”
“He’s a really good guy,” I said, taking a bite of my omelet. “I’ve known him my whole life and you’re right—I couldn’t imagine anyone else doing this with me.”
“Was it weird?” Skye asked. “Having him there during the birth?”
This was a slightly uncomfortable conversation, but it was no secret Nick and I had been lovers in the past. “He’s seen everything dozens of times,” I responded. “So no, this was all medical. I didn’t even think about any of that. And honestly, sex is nowhere on our radar.”
Aunt Kari wrinkled her nose. “Really? I understand the marriage is in name only, but you don’t even think about it?”
I shook my head. “There is truly no one for me but Erik. I can’t imagine sex with anyone else, ever again.”
“I want to be in love like that someday,” Skye sighed.
“I’m still in love like that,” Kari giggled. “But it doesn’t stop me from looking.”
“Okay, I look.” I grinned. “The lead singer of the band my dad wants to produce is interesting. He’s not traditionally good-looking, not like Nick or Erik, but there’s something about him. So much sex appeal, it’s kind of crazy. When he sang, I got goose bumps. His voice, his mannerisms… He’s a star in the making.”
“Is he single?” Skye asked wryly.
“I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” We exchanged a grin.
We finished brunch and continued to talk while Skye and Aunt Kari took turns holding Luke.
Late in the afternoon, when Luke was napping and the three of us were about to turn on the TV to see if there were any updates about Erik, I heard Nick’s key in the lock. There were footsteps in the newly framed foyer and we looked up as Nick, Sandor and Daniil came in. Sandor and Daniil looked road-weary, beyond exhausted, with tattered clothing and dark circles under their eyes. But it was more than that. The moment I looked into Sandor’s eyes I knew.
A strangled cry escaped me and the glass of water I’d been holding slipped from my hand. I got to my feet shakily and looked at him. He didn’t blink, didn’t move, as he returned my gaze.
“Oh god, no.” I slipped to one knee, my head falling to my chest.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sandor?” Aunt Kari was on her feet, hurrying to him. “Is it Erik? Please, no…”
I heard her scream but nothing penetrated my haze of grief. I was on my knees, the ringing in my ears louder than any other voices. I kept repeating the word no, over and over, whispering or to myself, I couldn’t tell, but it wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Erik leaving me for my own safety was one thing, but dead was something else entirely.
“Casey, sweetheart, come on.” Sandor was kneeling in front of me but I was shaking my head, no. I couldn’t, wouldn’t, be
lieve it was true.
He lifted me in his arms and carried me to the couch, setting me on it gently. I took a shaky breath and looked at him.
“Are you sure?”
He blinked back tears. “I was there. There was nothing I could do. The truck was destroyed… He was barely breathing. It happened quickly.”
Pain like nothing I’d ever experienced burst through my chest and exploded out in a torrent of tears. Sobs wracked my body even when I tried to hold them in. I couldn’t stop, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. The thought of Erik dying, broken and in pain on some mountainside made me sick. The unfairness of it gutted me and brought my breakfast back up. I heaved into a bag someone handed me and then collapsed again, sliding off the edge of the couch, onto the floor.
“Call her parents,” someone said.
“We may need a doctor.”
I heard them but nothing mattered. My world was shattered. Without Erik, nothing held meaning. Without Erik, I was lost. Without Erik, there was nowhere left to fall.
Tears. They’d become my reality, convincing me I would never go a whole day without shedding a gallon of them. I never imagined anything could hurt this much or leave me so utterly destroyed. Instead of getting better, each day got a little worse until I was the walking dead. If not for the baby I held close to my chest most of each day, I might not have survived those first few days after Erik’s death.
My love. My soulmate. Luke’s father.
The days passed slowly, and just when I thought the pain in my heart would never let up, I gradually began to function even though I knew I would never be the same again. The press had become relentless in trying to get an interview with me after Erik’s death so I’d literally been confined to our penthouse in order to avoid them. I stayed inside but I had company every day, whether it was my parents, my in-laws, or Aunt Kari and Skye. They snuck in and out using back corridors and employee entrances so no one saw them, and we had no choice but to keep it that way.
Nick and I both dropped our summer class and he spent most of his time taking care of me. He was attentive, charming and every bit the husband I would have wanted if our marriage had been real. He worked hard to make me happy, and in all honesty, it didn’t appear to be a struggle for him. We shared everything except sex and while the nights were the hardest times for me, he was always there with a shoulder for me to cry on. Even in my darkest hours I was aware of how lucky I was, how much worse it could be without Nick, my parents, our inner circle of friends and family. And though we’d cut public ties out of necessity, Aunt Kari and Uncle Ben checked on me often. They’d lost a son but they didn’t let their grief impact our relationship, for which I was grateful. Sometimes it was the little things that got me through each day, because other days were hell on earth.
