by Linda Kage
~NOEL~
I opened the door of my apartment, weary and defeated. The place was quiet and made me feel extra lonely.
Reese’s cousin, Eva, had gone through an emergency C-section at the hospital, giving birth six weeks early to a four-pound, six-ounce baby girl. Mason had shown up only minutes before to report he and the baby daddy had made a deal: we wouldn’t turn Alec in for what he’d done to Eva if he didn’t turn Pick in for what Pick had done to him.
Apparently, that had worked for Alec, because Lowe said he was on his way back to Florida.
When a nurse had come out to tell Reese she could go back and see the new momma or the new baby through the window in the incubator where they’d put her, I decided it was time for me to head home. Since Pick didn’t seem willing to budge from the hospital, I made the trip on foot.
Walking helped clear my head. Hell, the entire night had cleared my head. When a catastrophe like this happened, it made a person realize what was truly important. Opening my phone, I sent another quote off to Aspen. It was one I’d had for a while, but had been saving for the right moment. Well, that moment might never come if I didn’t make it happen.
After I pushed Send, I blew out a breath and collapsed on the couch. I wanted to call and leave a voice message, just to tell her all the crazy shit that had happened tonight. I needed someone to share my day with. But I decided to wait until I could see her again. So I started to dial home and check in on Caroline, Colton, and Brandt. But I stopped myself. It was late, even in their time zone; I didn’t want to wake them for no reason.
Lying there, I stared up at the water-stained ceiling of my broken-down apartment, wondering what the hell I was doing. My family was hundreds of miles away. The woman I loved was God knew where. I felt scattered. And trapped. My goals for a college diploma and an NFL draft no longer seemed relevant. But I couldn’t leave. Not unless I wanted to destroy Aspen’s reputation.
Scrubbing my hand over my face, I felt decades older than I was.
When the door open, a spark lurched through my chest, hoping it might be her. But it was only Ten.
He paused when he saw me. His gaze uncertain and leery. “’Sup?” he hedged. “Pick already leave?”
“Yep.” I glanced at the ugly walls again. Someone seriously needed to paint this place. “How was work?”
“Fine.” He remained wedged in the doorway, watching me cautiously. “Hey...I brought you something.”
I lulled my face his way, wondering why he was acting so weird. But then he stepped into the room, leading someone else inside with him by the hand.
My gaze followed a feminine hand up a feminine arm, and hope sparked in my chest. But a mass of red hair killed it just as quickly as it had started.
Not Aspen.
“Hey, Noel,” Marci said, sending me a shy smile as she continued to hold Ten’s hand.
I rolled my eyes to my roommate, unimpressed, unmoved, and completely uninterested. “No thanks.”
He growled. “Damn it. This has to stop. You’re beginning to freak me out.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why don’t you let me take care of myself? And hold the babysitters from here on out, too. A night out with Pick isn’t exactly my speed.”
“Well, maybe I’d be more your speed.” Marci finally left Ten’s side and strolled toward the couch, swinging her hips with a bit too much enthusiasm. She was wearing high heels, a short skirt, and low top.
I should’ve felt something. I was a guy. But I just sighed and rubbed my forehead. “No,” I groaned. “No, no, no. I’m sorry I made you think I wanted something from you back in March. But I’ve changed my mind. I’m not interested anymore.”
Jarring to a startled stop, Marci set her hands on her hips and scowled. “This isn’t still about that ugly bitch teacher, is it?”
My mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
“Oh...shit,” Ten muttered from behind her. “You’re the blackmailer, aren’t you? I knew it was a chick, but...damn.”
I was slow on the uptake because my brain didn’t want to admit it. But if Marci had been the one to blackmail and then get Aspen fired, then it was because of me. It was my fault this had happened. I’d been the one to push Marci away and make her retaliate.
Deliberately, I sat up and pushed to my feet. “You got her fired?” Creeping around the coffee table, I started toward her.
Reading my face, Marci’s eyes bugged. She skipped a step back and bumped into Ten. He grabbed her arm and shoved her toward the door. “Go,” he commanded.
But she didn’t move fast enough. I leapt, and the only thing that kept me from reaching a handful of pretty red hair and pulling it out by the roots was my roommate who jumped between us. She just gaped at me, her mouth fallen slack.
“You fucking spoiled brat.” I pointed an accusing finger over Ten’s shoulder. “If you weren’t a girl, I’d mess you up right now. Got that? Don’t you ever talk to me, or look at me, or think about me again. I want nothing to do with you.”
“But...” Tears filled her eyes as she pressed a hand against her chest. “I protected you, Noel. I didn’t give them a picture with your face in it. I didn’t tell anyone it was you. I freed you from her.”
“Like it fucking matters,” I roared. “They goddamn know it’s me, Marci. I told them it was me.”
“You wha...what?” She frowned, still not getting it. “Why would you do that?”
“You hurt the woman I love,” I told her, making it as clear as possible. “I will never forgive you for this.”
I began to shake as she called me a bastard and ran from the apartment, bawling. I pushed away from Ten and ran my hands through my hair, tempted to chase Marci down so I could wrap my fingers around her neck and squeeze.
Behind me, Ten let out a breath. “Man, I swear to God. I didn’t know—”
“Just shut up,” I snapped. Then I cursed as my cell phone rang. Aspen would pick this moment to finally call me back, wouldn’t she? Just when I’d learned exactly how much involvement I’d had in getting her thrown out of Ellamore. Just when I was feeling so shitty and guilty I wanted to curl into a ball and die.
But when I glanced at the screen and saw it was home, not her, I closed my eyes, not ready to take any more bad news from Caroline. But hell, whatever. It couldn’t be worse than what I was already dealing with, so bring it.
“Hey,” I answered, expecting my sister’s voice.
Instead my middle brother, Brandt, sobbed in my ear, his voice shaking like crazy. “Noel. Something’s wrong with Caroline. We need you.”
***
The sun was beginning to rise over the horizon when we entered Bluebird Heights trailer park. I’d been driving for the past four hours while Ten had slumped passed out in the passenger’s seat.
I owed him for this, big time. He didn’t have to let me borrow his truck when I’d asked, and he certainly hadn’t needed to volunteer to come along, but here he was. The annoying pain-in-my-ass roommate I’d had last week was gone, and this Oren Tenning seemed to be a completely improved edition.
Tapping his knee, I said, “Hey. We’re here.” Home, sweet trailer park, home.
He grumbled in his sleep before finally sitting up and rubbing his eyes. After stretching, he glanced out the window at the place where I’d grown up. “Shit, man. I had no idea.”
I didn’t answer, just parked and cut the engine. A torn dingy curtain had been sucked through a piece of cardboard covering one window. It fluttered in the breeze as if waving hello to us, while the scent of the nearby sewage plant had already seeped into the interior of the truck. I sat there a second, soaking in the feelings that always came with this place. The shame and anger and frustration of being Daisy Gamble’s son.
With a soft curse under my breath, I opened my door and stepped out. Ten followed without a word. I almost wished he’d pop out with some dumbass sarcastic comment, but he said nothing.
There were no steps leading up to the front door, so I just
turned the handle and vaulted inside. My brothers were camped out in the dim front room, Colt sleeping on the couch and Brandt on the floor. Though it seemed too early in the year for them, a swarm of fruit flies danced around the dirty dishes piled in the kitchen.
I nudged Brandt’s leg with my shoe until he jerked awake and sat up.
He stared at me a moment before blinking and saying, “Noel?” When his voice cracked with emotion, I hauled him off the floor and into me for a bone-cracking hug. It took him a second, but he finally hugged me back, and when he did, he buried his face in my neck to let out one short sob. Jesus, but he’d gotten tall.
“How’s Caroline?” I asked, pulling away to see he still had a bruise on his face, a fresh reddish purple one.
He shook his head. “She’s bad. Real bad.”
I reached out to touch his discolored jaw, but stopped myself at the last second. “Shouldn’t that have healed by now?”
With a half shrug, he glanced away. “It’s a new one.”
New one. No one had told me he’d gotten beat up again. Hell, no one had told me much of anything in the last few weeks.
On the couch, Colton stirred. When he sat up, yawning and scratching his head, the holey blanket that had been covering him slipped down to reveal pale, boney arms. Shit, how much food did the kid eat? Looked like he only got fed once a week.
“Hey, kiddo,” I greeted, my throat closing over, as I reached out to ruffle his grease-matted hair.
He’d been five when I’d moved away. So when he stared up at me with leery, untrusting sunken-in eyes, I realized I was akin to a stranger, his absent big brother who’d deserted him.
“Where is she?” I asked, turning to Brandt and unable to look at Colt without begging for his forgiveness.
Brandt pointed toward a narrow hall. “The bathroom, I bet. She’s been in there all night.”
I nodded and made my way to my little sister. The bathroom was dark, but the morning sunrise coming in through the window showed a human-sized lump on the floor, draped over the toilet seat. Reaching inside, I tried to flip on the light switch, but nothing happened.
“Light’s broken,” my sister’s frail voice came from inside.
“Shit.” I crouched down and scooped her into my arms. “Caroline?”
She slumped against me, so frail and limp I stopped short from pulling her in tight, afraid I might hurt her.
“I’m so glad you’re here.” Curling in close, she shivered and cuddled her face against my collar.
I kissed her hair and tried to keep it together, but fuck, my little sister. When I spotted dark splotches splashed around the rim of the toilet, I choked. “Is that...Jesus, is that blood?”
Made me think of Eva Mercer and the way she’d bled after getting punched in the stomach.
Caroline didn’t even lift her face. “Probably.”
“Oh, hell. Did you have a miscarriage?”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed. Wetness soaked through my shirt, telling me she was crying. “No. I...I...Sander’s parents offered me money to get rid of it...so...I did.” The last three words were whispered and clogged with tears.
The breath whooshed from my lungs. “You...I...” I shook my head, not sure what to say. My fingers trembled as I brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her temple. “Is this what you wanted?”
“I don’t know,” she croaked.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I ground my teeth together. “Fuck, Caroline. If you’d wanted to keep the baby, I would’ve helped you. You realize that, right? I know I lost it when I found out, but I was mad, and disappointed, and scared shitless.”
“Well, what do you think I was?” She pushed back to glare up at me. “I was scared too, Noel. And you weren’t here. What was I supposed to do?” Burying her face into her hands, she wept openly, her shoulders trembling from the force of her sobs.
Fisting my hand against my mouth, I watched her fall apart. This was my fault. I’d failed my family. I’d failed Aspen.
I’d failed, period.
“I’m sorry,” Crawling the few feet she’d scooted away from me, I pulled her back into my arms. But she remained stiff, and it broke me. I buried my face in her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
It took her a while to finally ease back against me, but when she did, I could finally suck in a relieved breath. I stroked her back as if that could somehow repay her for all the times I hadn’t been here for her. With a gulp, I glanced over her shoulder, trying to pull myself back together, when I spotted more blood. Fuck, that was a lot of blood.
“Do we need to get you to a hospital?”
She shook her head. “No, I think...I think it’s over now. They said I’d bleed. I just didn’t expect so much.” When her voice broke, I kissed her temple again.
“Does it still hurt?”
Her nod was all I needed to see. “Okay.” I shifted with her until she was sitting on my knees. Then I rose to my feet. “Let’s get you somewhere comfortable, and we’ll see about finding something for the pain.”
I didn’t even bother taking her to one of the two bedrooms. If the boys had been sleeping in the living rooms, I already knew I didn’t want to go back there.
Ten met us at the end of the hall. “Hey, I’m—”
His words broke off abruptly when he saw Caroline.
She looked up at the new voice, and her eyes bugged. “Oh, my God!” Yelping, she clutched me hard and buried her face back into my chest. “Who is he?”
Snuggling my cheek against her hair in reassurance, I said, “That’s just my roommate. Oren Tenning.”
“Hey,” Ten greeted, his voice hoarse. “How you doing?” When I saw the direction of his gaze, fixated on my little sister’s bare legs, I scowled at him. Her oversized T-shirt didn’t fall much past her thighs, giving him an eyeful.
Clearing my throat, I finally got him to tear his attention away from her. When he caught my death-glare, he spun away, putting his back to us. “Uh...the uh...I’m starving, so I was going to take the boys to the closest McDonalds for breakfast. Did you two want anything?”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Get us some biscuits and gravy, and breakfast burritos, and sandwiches, and shit like that. Let me put her on the couch, and I’ll dig some money out of my wallet to pay.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Ten turned to watch us as I passed him.
“I’m not hungry,” Caroline protested.
“Well, you need to eat something and build your strength back up.” I settled her down and sat next to her as I fussed with the blanket Colton had been sleeping under to cover her legs. “At least try, okay?”
After a reluctant nod, she glanced past me toward my roommate. Standing awkwardly by the door with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, Ten peered back. But as soon as their gazes collided, they jerked their glances away. Blushing madly, Caroline rested her head on the pillow and rolled to bury her face in it.
I stood up, took a deep breath, and turned to my roommate. When I gave him a single nod, he rounded up my brothers, who were more than willing to go get something to eat, and left the trailer house.
***
As Brandt and Colton sat
on the couch, on either side of a pale Caroline, chowing down on all the food Ten had bought them, I stepped outside for a minute to catch some fresh air. My roommate followed me not long after.
He blew out a breath and rested his back against the metal walls of the trailer house as he set his hands on his hips. “What’s that saying? Karma-sutra: fate fucking you in in all kinds of creative ways?”
I barked out a harsh laugh. “Yeah. Sounds about right.”
Ten joined in with a short chuckle, but it didn’t last long. Cursing under his breath, his ran his hand through his hair. “So, what happened in there was...shit, man. Is she going to be okay?”
“I don’t know.” Gazing at the rest of the homes in the trailer park, I sighed. They were all better maintained than ours.
“Where’s your mom?”
I turned to Ten. “Good question.”
He hissed out another curse and pushed away from the wall. “Well, this...this frankly sucks. No wonder you never told me about your home life. Or that your sister was fucking hot.”
“Excuse me?” When I slid him a sharp glance, he lifted his hands as if surrendering.
“What? Whenever you mentioned her, I always pictured some five-year-old in pigtails carrying around a blankie and teddy bear. And...she’s not five.”
“She’s not eighteen either,” I growled. “So back off.”
“Hey, I wasn’t disrespecting. The walls in that place are thin as shit; I heard her tell you what she just went through. I’m just saying, I’m not blind.”
“Well, you’d better turn blind around her.”
“Fine, whatever.” Ten lifted his hands once last time, telling me he was backing off. He let out a long, loud sigh and looked up at the sky. So did I. After a minute of neither of us speaking, he asked, “What’re you going to do about this whole fucked-up mess?”
Kicking at a large rock embedded in the grass, I tried to quell all the rising emotions. But the more I thought about what I should do, the more I wanted to tear the trailer house apart with my bare hands. “You know, I always wondered how bad I’d let things here get before I had to give up on Ellamore and come back home. But shit, this is worse than I imagined. How could I let things get this bad?”
“But if you leave school now—”
“I know,” I snapped, not needing the reminder. Pressing my hands to either side of my head to try to ease some of the pressure building inside, I closed my eyes. Except when I did, all I could picture were news reports with Aspen’s face splashed all over the covers of newspapers and screens of televisions with the headline Ellamore Sex Scandal Spreads from the Volleyball Team to Football.
“I can’t do that to Aspen,” I moaned, shaking my head. “I just can’t.”
“Then what’re you going to do?” Ten pressed. “Because you sure as fuck can't leave those three in there like that.”
“I know that.” I glared at him and growled, flashing my teeth. “But what can I do?”
