by Grace, Hazel
Jake latches on to my shirt for support, but I shove him away, twisting my foot around his ankle so that he falls on his ass. Mindlessly, my foot connects with his stomach, watching him curl into pain. Then I’m whipped around, coming face to face with the one person that I can’t physically beat.
“Stop!” Sawyer yells in my face. Her hair is in disarray, displaying exactly what she was doing.
I tower over her, trying to settle my temper, but nothing she can say or do will work. I’m past my limit, my brink of control. I will kill this motherfucker on the floor no matter how much she pleads for his life.
“Colson,” she says. Her tone is soft and inviting, trying to pull me out of my current irate state.
Too bad, it’s too late for that now.
“Bases,” I counter, my voice menacing. My hands vise around her shoulders, and I slam her into the drywall behind her.
I don’t care if it hurt or if I leave bruises or red marks. Nothing I could ever do to her would make her burn like I do now. No matter how many times I fuck her sister or her assistants, she has a deflecting power to shove it all away.
She’s always had the power. I lost it a long time ago when I fell in love with her and was never able to get it back. She consumed every molecule of me, swallowed me whole, and I can’t find myself anymore without her, and I don’t even want to be with her. I want to be unbound, I want my liberty back.
A shutter racks through Sawyer’s body, and I focus on her. Her green eyes burning into me like I’m staring down the barrel of a forty-five handgun.
“Still seems that you’ll fuck everyone but me,” I fume, keeping my palms pressed into the soft flesh of her shoulders. “It’s disappointing, Bases.”
“I’m...Colson, you weren’t supposed—”
“To see you?” I snap. “You sure?”
“Yes,” she retorts. “The door was supposed to be locked.” The tips of my fingers start to dig into flesh.
Again, I don’t care.
I’ve never been this angry, not even ten years ago. Sawyer was still the blight of my existence. The only one who could get under my skin.
And I hate her.
“Let’s make one thing perfectly fucking clear,” I tell her in a scathing tone. “Since I was eighteen years old, you’ve belonged to me. And twice now, I’ve had to watch you fuck me over with another man.”
She opens her mouth, but I thrust her deeper into the wall. If there’s an imprint of her ass later then every fucking guy who comes in here to take a piss can thank me.
“I have yet to fuck you,” I continue, leaning in closer. “I was patient. I wanted you to enjoy me. Love me. But during my patience, I discovered that you weren’t so forbearing. And now, Bases, the tables are turned.”
I align myself with her beautiful face, her emeralds widening as I make sure she completely sees me, soaking in every single fucking word I’m going to spill.
“I want all your fucking truths,” I leer. “Every single one of them.” She cowers back from me, attempting to use her shield to block my words. But I continue because I need to, because I’m tired and over this shit.
“Tell me you want me to fuck you, Bases. That it’s me you’ve dreamt about pounding you into this dirty bathroom wall with my lips on your skin and marks all over your body. I want to rid myself of this strange-as-fuck obsession with you by making you scream my name until your vocal cords rupture and my eardrums shatter. To feel you clenching around my cock until I’m so dizzy I can’t fucking see straight. So spill them, or I’ll make it so that Jake can’t fucking walk ever again.”
Ten years ago
“I have a few things to do with my cousin tonight,” Gavin tells me, stealing one of my fries. “But I’ll call you when I’m done.”
I snuggle closer to him at our lunch table. “Alright, just after nine, okay?” Gavin nods and stares at my lunch tray of grilled cheese, lemonade, and fries. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” he denies, tearing his gaze off my food and gives me a weak grin. “Just a lot of shit with baseball and the scouts. Did you finish your history paper with Colson yet?”
“Yeah, turned it in on Tuesday.”
“So, you guys are like...done getting together?”
My forehead creases. “Together?” Gavin shrugs his shoulders weakly, averting his gaze from me again, and my paranoia creeps up my spine.
He saw.
He saw us hold hands last weekend in the truck, and he’s upset.
My stomach knots, and I clench my hands into fists to keep myself calm. He’s going to break up with me. I’ve been scolding myself for days about my out-of-line behavior. It was wrong, and I don’t know what came over me. My attraction for Colson was just your normal, good-girl-likes-bad-boy thing.
That’s it.
This isn’t a movie, there’s no set or written happily ever after, and Colson wasn’t even staying in Freemont after we graduate.
End of story.
“Gavin,” I practically pant because I just need him to spit it out.
“Yeah?”
“What’s up?” He lets out a sigh and shoves another fry in his mouth.
“I just don’t like him around you,” he relays. “Dude is an asshole, and I don’t want you around dickheads.”
I raise a brow, not fully convinced. “That’s it?”
“In a nutshell, yeah. Just all the shit he’s been trying to cause between us, ya know? We’ve been planning on going to college together since we were kids, but what is he going to do down the road when I decide to buy a dog? Is he going to get fucking weird about that too?”
“Um...I think you’ll be okay. And besides, Taylor and I would be able to pull something else out of our box of tricks if he tries to do anything else.” Gavin smiles, and a wave of relief washes over me and mixes with stale guilt still left over from before.
“That was genius, the cementing of the car. I seriously don’t know where you two pulled that out of your asses.”
“Taylor is a very vindictive person, remind me not to get on her bad side,” I jeer. Gavin clasps my hands and leans in closer to me.
“Remind me not to get on your bad side,” he confides, pressing a kiss to my lips. “I’m going to miss you this weekend.”
“I’ll miss you too. But softball camp is just for three days, I’ll be back on Sunday night.”
“King Kone date?”
I fix him with a glare. “I just interviewed there, and you’re going to take me out on a date at my possible new job?” Gavin busts out laughing, and I smack his arm, rolling my eyes.
Then a sudden slap of cold hits my head and runs down my shirt.
I quickly stand to my feet, ice cubes rolling off my lap and onto the cafeteria floor, comprehending that someone dumped an icy beverage over my head. I whip around to see a raven-haired girl smirking at me with her hand propped on her hip.
“Oops,” she beams, bringing her fingers to her lips. “I’m sorry, I thought I was throwing my cup in the garbage.”
“What the fuck, Camila,” Gavin barks behind me. “What the hell is wrong with you?” She ignores him, keeping her fixed scowl on me.
“You were told to stay away from him,” Camila warns, furrowing her brows. I take in her curvy frame, the way her tank top hugs her boobs and her jean shorts ride up her olive skin.
I have no idea who this chick is.
The cafeteria around us still bustles, but the folks who were up close are getting a free show of our little conversation.
And my pink bra through my white T-shirt that is now sticking to my chest and back.
“I don’t listen to assholes,” I return, pulling my shirt away from my body to keep the coldness off. “Who the hell are you?” She takes a step toward me, but I don’t move. I’m not going to be intimidated by a girl who just spilled a drink on me in front of an audience.
“There is more where that came from, bitch,” she sneers. “I’m the co-captain of the cheerleading squad, do you
know what kind of power that comes with?”
I raise a brow. “The power to be a class A cunt?” A hard slap assails across my face, instantly making my cheek burn and tingle. A combined gasp from our classmates echoes around us, as I slowly bring myself to look back at Camila.
“Mandy told you first,” she remarks. “And since you thought she was kidding, I’m here to remind you.”
“Step the fuck off,” Gavin snaps, showing up at my side. Camila looks him up and down, unaffected from his heroism.
“Sit the fuck down, Sheston. You don’t want my next words about you to spill from my mouth.”
“What the fuck did you say to me?” He takes a menacing stride toward her, but I hold out my arm across his stomach to keep him from doing whatever it was he thought he was going to do.
“Gavin,” I urge. “I got this.”
Camila smiles. “Yeah, Gavin,” she mocks. “She’s got this.” Gavin shakes his head, keeping his glare locked on hers.
“Take a seat,” I tell him. “I’m the only one that can do anything anyways.” Gavin inhales sharply and clasps my hand, giving it a tight squeeze before letting it go.
“Kick her fucking ass,” he mutters to me as he turns around to sit back down.
Camilla’s sneer stays glued on her face as a twinge of apprehension filters through my body. Two fights in one year is a record for me, but I commend myself for taking on Mandy and her little squad of goons on my own until Colson showed up.
At least it was just her, so I had that going for me.
“Now,” Camila continues. “You good?” Her taunting starts to heat my blood, and I’m growing past the word “tired” of these jealous females in school ganging up on me.
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” I allude with squinted eyes. “Stay away from who exactly?”
Camila extends her jaw and pushes her tongue under her bottom lip. “You’re a smart-ass, aren’t you?”
My lips quirk, and I shrug. “Look who I’ve been hanging out with.” I meant for my words to mean exactly what they did.
Whenever there was a team outing or practice, I was always with Gavin and somewhere along the line, Colson would show up. I know at Liam’s party we didn’t go unnoticed when Colson and I left the room together. But surprisingly, no gossip spread about it, and I wasn’t going to bring it up to Gavin to cause more drama.
Plus, nothing happened.
“Well,” Camila ponders. “You’ve already pussy-whipped Gavin, so who wants that now?” I hear Gavin chuckle behind me in amusement, but I don’t think it’s funny.
She’s being disrespectful, and since Gavin is always protecting me the best he can from our classmates, I’m going to do the same. We’re not a power couple by any means, I come with no title in this school or anything to offer besides myself. Not that he’s ever asked for it. He reminds me how special I am on a daily basis and how different I am than anyone here.
But when it comes to us sticking up for each other and people trying to bring one of us down, it’s our job to protect.
And since he can’t beat her ass, that leaves me to do the honors.
“Thankfully for him, not you,” I counter, holding out my hand. “We haven’t been introduced.” She wrinkles her nose then looks down at my outreached hand in disgust.
“Who the fuck cares?”
“I do.”
She scoffs. “Why?” I raise a brow and give her another once over.
She’s a little skinnier than me, but she has an abundance of confidence exalting from her, probably from bullying a lot of other people during her little high school career.
“Because I’m not about to slap a girl who I’ve never met before,” I deadpan.
Her forehead puckers. “I know who you are. You’re the fucking bitch who Colson follows around like a lost puppy.”
I meant to slap her with an open palm.
But along the way of my hand swinging back and meeting her face, it became a fist that just crashed into her cheekbone. I watch her stagger back, shock emerging from her features, and I’m feeling the same exact way.
I don’t feel my knuckles throbbing or register the fact that I just took our little girl fight up a few pegs. My vision is starting to tint to red.
“You wanna play harder?” Camila taunts, rubbing her cheek. “I have older brothers.”
Um...okay?
“You want to throw down in the middle of the cafeteria,” I retort, glancing around the group of students now circling us. “Or finish this somewhere else?” I lean in toward her. “Or you can gather up your shitty little friends and try to jump me next time. Ask Mandy how that worked out for her though, I think she still has a bruise on the same cheek you're sporting.”
Camila’s jaw tightens. “I’m game if you are, right here.”
Here comes another detention and a phone call to my parents.
I roll my shoulders. “Whenever you're—” Her fist strikes my mouth, and the metallic taste of blood hits my tongue.
A few cheers and gasps encompass us, and I know we don’t have much time here. A lunchroom monitor is going to see us, and we’re both going to go down for the two marks on our faces.
I swing with my left, connecting with her jaw and follow up with my right into her ribs. Camila lunges for me, wrapping herself around my arms to keep me from landing another blow. I attempt to pry myself out of her grasp, but she holds on tight, throwing her weight on me to bring us both to the ground, where she’ll have the upper hand to pin me to the floor.
“Gavin, what the fuck?!” It’s Colson. I can recognize his voice anywhere at any time like a stupid idiot. My brain registers that Gavin is giving me the space I need to gain some respect around here, and Colson doesn’t think I can do it.
And he’s probably not the only one.
Which means I need to show everyone surrounding us right now, that I’m not the timid new girl who is going to let a stupid cheerleader in a push-up bra come at me like this.
So, I do what every red-blooded American girl would do in this instance of intimidation.
I swing my head back and strike Camila’s forehead like a scrapper in a prison yard. I ignore the pain that instantly ripples at my temples and down my jawline. Camila releases me immediately and falls to her knees in agony. One of my legs gives out, but I catch myself, forcing myself to stand still while all eyes soak in the scene that just played out.
I won’t be harassed or terrorized here.
The room starts to tilt, and I know it’s from my giant headache, probably forming into a concussion at this point, and the haziness that is glazing over my eyes. Hands grasp my arm, but I shrug them off.
I want the power that is coursing through my bloodstream right now to illuminate me. To demonstrate that I might not be the most outspoken person in the world, but another piece of me, that I never knew existed, will come to the surface if pushed. Which is leaving me a tad overwhelmed.
Fingers grip me again and, this time, I don’t have the strength to wiggle them off me.
“Let’s get you to the school nurse,” Colson urges in my ear. His voice is delicious, caressing every inch of my damp skin and warming it with his words.
I want to lean back into his chest. To let him know that I did this because his name came out of her big mouth, and I’d protect him too. That I like us being friends, but it’s hard for me not to be drawn to him.
There is no damn way I would tell him that. Concussion and all.
“I got her,” Gavin states, latching on to the other side of me and ripping me from my current daze. “Make sure Camila loses her little captain title. She’s fucking done here.” I don’t hear Colson respond, just the feel of Gavin’s large hand on my back as he ushers me out of the cafeteria.
He doesn’t speak to me as we walk down the crowded hallways. I just stuck up for his best friend, and I don’t know how he feels about it or if he even noticed.
Regardless of the reason why or my attracti
on toward someone I shouldn’t be, I was tired of people thinking I’m screwing or taking Gavin and Colson away from them. They didn’t want to be kept, especially Colson. Gavin seems to be maturing since he’s been with me. I just don’t want to rock any boats between them. Gavin is important to me, which means anything that he holds dear is dear to me too.
When we get to the nurse’s office, Gavin picks me up and plops me on the doctor’s office type bed. He stands close to me as the old nurse studies my head and hands me over a few aspirin with a glass of water, stating that I slipped on some wet tiles in the girls’ bathroom.
After I’m cleared, the nurse gives us an excuse slip for our next class, and Gavin takes me outside to grab some much-needed air. My heart rate has calmed, but my nerves are wrecked.
I don’t want him to get the wrong idea. I need him to know I’m not going anywhere.
Sitting on the bench outside the gym doors, Gavin stands over me, studying me for a moment before speaking.
“You laid her out. Where did that come from?” There is amusement in his tone, but it doesn’t meet his eyes.
“She called you pussy-whipped, and you laughed,” I counter, squinting my eyes up at him. “She’s a bitch.”
“And she’s finished,” he pledges, exhaling heavily. He sits next to me. “You alright?” I nod, leaning into him as he wraps his arms around me.
Thing is, I’m not. I’m screwed up and confused.
I revel in Gavin’s safety net and how he makes me feel special. But I crave Colson’s attention even if he is shitty. The back and forth is something I’m learning to let roll off my back because I’ve seen the worst and soft side of him. We’re becoming friends who started off in a weird and messed-up way, but that’s all we are.
Friends.
And the only thing I can control is staying away from what makes me feel differently toward that friend.
Present day
“Jake, please let me help,” I plead, feeling absolutely worthless and guilt-stricken. He’s holding a Ziploc bag of ice to his jaw, trying to watch a movie while I’m pestering him.
