“Thank you,” Viola said and wiped the tears from her face.
“I’ve been carrying a lot of them around.”
Viola wasn’t surprised to hear that. “You’re more in touch with your emotions than I am. Sometimes it takes me a while before I can admit how I’m feeling.”
“You’re a strong lady,” Maud said. “You were always that way. But there isn’t a single person who expects you to act as if your brother didn’t die.”
“I can’t cry in public.”
“I’m not saying you have to, nor would I advise you to do that. Tears make most people uncomfortable. They don’t know how to act around someone who’s hurting. But when you’re with people you trust, you should be able to reveal what’s in your heart.”
“The only people I trust are in this townhouse.”
“That’s to be expected for now, but in time, you’ll be able to trust your husband and step-daughter.”
“I don’t think so.” She blurted the words out before she had time to think about them. “Forgive me. I didn’t mean to say that.”
“You might not have meant to say it, but it’s how you feel.” Her aunt rubbed her back again. “You’ve only been married for one day. I was married to your uncle for ten years. It’ll take time before you feel comfortable in your new role as wife and step-mother.”
Viola shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable with my husband and Tabitha. There’s something wrong with that place. There’s a heavy feeling over it. Everyone but the butler lives in a state of fear. My husband never leaves the attic. Tabitha doesn’t want to be with me because she thinks I’ve been cursed. The maid who’d been forced to be my lady’s maid was afraid she’d turn into a ghost simply because she touched me. Except for the butler, none of the servants will even look at me.” She wiped her eyes.
“Well, we were warned that the duke and his household are stranger than most.”
Stranger than most. That wasn’t even accurate. It was much worse than that. “I think I could tolerate it better if Oliver was alive. He’d find a way to make the situation funny.” She wiped her eyes again. “Why didn’t he tell us that we were in dire straits? Why did he keep on spending money as if we had more than enough?”
“Some gentlemen are too proud to admit something’s wrong. Oliver was one of them.”
“I thought he and I were close. I thought if he could confide in anyone, it would have been me.” And that made things more difficult to accept. There was no going up to him and asking him why he never said anything.
“Pride can make people withhold the truth from those who need to hear it.” Her aunt brushed back Viola’s hair from her face in a motherly gesture. “I’m not going to make excuses for your brother. It was unfortunate he never warned any of us of the financial condition of the estate. But Viola, despite a person’s imperfections, we should love them. Don’t let this taint your memory of him.”
Her aunt was right. She had to forgive Oliver for not confiding in her. She released her breath and let another tear fall down her cheek.
Joanna and Pamela came into the room. Joanna gasped then ran over to Viola and threw her arms around her. “I’m glad the duke didn’t kill you,” Joanna said.
Maud let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry, Viola. I kept telling your sisters that you would be just fine, but they were reluctant to believe me.”
Despite everything going on, Viola felt a chuckle rise up in her throat. She hugged Joanna. “I’m fine. I just miss Oliver, that’s all.”
“We miss him, too,” Joanna replied. “We don’t want to lose you like we lost him.”
“We couldn’t be sure if we’d see you again because of what happened to Tabitha,” Pamela added, coming over to them.
“You won’t lose me. I’m much too stubborn for that,” Viola assured her. She let go of Joanna and glanced at her other sister. “Tabitha is alive and well. I had dinner with her last evening.”
“You mean, the duke didn’t kill her and hide her in the attic?” Joanna asked.
If Viola was right, she seemed a bit disappointed by the news. She wiped the last of her tears away and shot Joanna a scolding look. “That’s a terrible thing to want to happen. Evander isn’t the kind of gentleman who’d kill anyone.” Even if she didn’t know him all that well, she knew, deep in her heart, he wouldn’t hurt anyone.
“I didn’t want him to kill Tabitha,” Joanna corrected. “I was afraid he did. Just like Pamela was.”
Pamela nodded. “We worried about you.”
“At least you know they love you,” Maud told Viola.
Yes, that was true, and after all that had happened, it was nice to be loved. Viola urged her sisters to come closer, and she pulled them, and her aunt, in for a long hug, grateful for them. Even if things were going to be difficult at her new home, she could always come here and spend time with her family. They would anchor her in place. The terrible oppression over Evander’s townhouse wouldn’t get to her.
***
By the time Viola returned home, she felt much better.
The butler approached her before she could go up the stairs to her bedchamber. “Your Grace, your husband has requested to talk to you. I explained to him you had stepped out for a while but that I would speak with you when you returned.”
She couldn’t imagine what Evander would want to speak with her about. She’d thought he was going to leave her alone most of the time since he worried she would die if she saw his face.
A part of her couldn’t help but dread the idea of sitting in that awful darkness again, but there was another part of her that experienced a sense of excitement at the thought he would touch her. She forced the observation aside. Regardless of how she felt, she owed it to him to talk to him when he wanted to have a word with her. He had, after all, saved her family from financial ruin.
“Is he expecting me now, or should I wait until you talk to him?” Viola asked.
“He said you can go up there as soon as you return. Just remember to knock and wait for him to open the door. Of course,” he added after a moment, “I can go with you if you don’t want to walk up the dark stairs alone. I know it can be unsettling to be surrounded by all that darkness.”
“I’ll be fine. I can do it myself.” She was Evander’s wife, and she was a grown lady. She should be able to go up there alone.
The butler nodded and started to turn from her, but then a question came to mind, so she called out to him. He turned back to face her.
Making sure no one else was around, she asked, “Are all the servants except for you afraid of me?”
He seemed hesitant to reply, but then he said, “As much as I wish it weren’t so, yes. They’re all convinced you’ll die like His Grace’s other wives did.” He winced. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it.”
“No, there isn’t. Once someone gets an idea in their head, only they can change it.”
“If it helps, the others aren’t sure of how to act around me, either. I’m the one who brings food to His Grace, and I relay his messages to others.”
“What about Tabitha? How do they act around her?”
“Tabitha’s just as convinced as the rest of them that His Grace is under a curse. Plus, she came to live under this household when she was five. They’re more protective of her than anything else.”
Viola supposed that made sense. She bet they grew more protective of her after her mother died. Then, of course, they had to watch each of her step-mothers die.
“Is there anything else you want to know?” the butler asked.
“Yes, there’s one more thing. Have you seen any ghosts in this townhouse?”
The butler laughed. “Ghosts?”
So he found the notion of ghosts wandering the halls late at night just as silly as she did. “One of the servants swore she saw a ghost.”
“There’s been no apparitions in this townhouse. I think whoever is seeing ghosts is letting her imagination get
away from her.”
Considering how Viola had felt earlier this morning in the drawing room, she could understand why the lady’s maid imagined ghosts floating around the halls. If she hadn’t gone to see her family, Viola might think she was seeing them, too.
Viola thanked the butler then headed up the stairs, this time with the intention of seeing Evander instead of resting in her bedchamber. As she traveled up the staircases, she wondered where Tabitha was. Did Tabitha know she had left? Did Tabitha know she had returned? It seemed to her that Tabitha did a good job of hiding. Perhaps the young lady spent as much time away from this townhouse as possible. Maybe she wanted to get away from the oppressive heaviness in the place. If that was the case, Viola couldn’t blame her.
Viola reached the bottom of the stairs that would take her to the attic. Once more, she’d be plunged into darkness, and there was no telling how long it would be until she was back down here. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought of her family. The heaviness over this house could only win if she let it. If she chose to change her focus, she could overcome it. Just as she would learn to go on without her brother and forgive him for not telling her their family had been in serious financial trouble.
She opened her eyes. Feeling her calm returning, she put her foot on the first step and closed the door behind her. The darkness surrounded her, but this time, it didn’t seem to wrap itself around her.
She held onto the rail, lifted the hem of her gown, and proceeded up the steps. She saw a faint light flickering under the closed door at the top of the stairs. At least Evander spent some time surrounded by light. She’d hate to think he spent his entire day and night in total darkness.
When she reached the last step, she knocked four times on the door. The light under the door was extinguished, something that didn’t come as a surprise since he was determined to make sure she never saw his face.
She heard footsteps, and then the door creaked open.
“Thank you for coming,” Evander said. “Would you like to take my hand, or should I take yours?”
“I’ll take it,” she replied.
She waved her hand in front of her. The moment she felt his wrist, she pulled her arm back so that she could put her hand in his. “It’s hard to tell exactly where you are.”
He chuckled. “Believe it or not, I can tell where you are with surprising accuracy.”
She stepped into the room. “But it’s dark.”
“Yes, but I can hear you breathing and smell the soap you wash with. When the eyes don’t do the hard work, the other senses do.”
That made sense, she supposed, though she didn’t have any desire to live like this all the time.
“I thought it would be easier if I sat next to you this time,” Evander said as he closed the door behind her. Then he put his free hand on the small of her back and led her forward. “This way, we can maintain contact while we talk. I don’t want you to feel apprehensive like you did yesterday.”
Apprehensive was a very polite way of saying scared, but she decided not to mention that.
His steps slowed. “The chair is in front of you.”
Before he could guide her hand to it, she leaned forward and reached out until she felt the wooden smooth surface of the chair’s back. She let go of his hand and settled into the chair. She couldn’t completely will away the odd feeling in this room, but she at least felt more connected with the world this time.
She heard him settle in the chair next to her before he reached for her. He must have expected her hand to be on the edge of the chair’s arm since she heard his fingers tapping that part of the chair.
“My hand was in my lap,” she explained as she lifted her hand and put it on top of his. “I forgot to tell you.”
“That is fine. It’ll take us some time before we learn each other’s habits.”
Her eyebrows furrowed. Did that mean he intended to spend time with her on a regular basis?
He took her hand in his. “Is this better since we are sitting beside each other?”
She had no idea if they were facing the desk or the attic door or even a wall, but at least she didn’t feel like she was floating in mid-air. “Yes, this is better.” She glanced around. Again, she couldn’t make out any shapes in the room. “What furniture do you have in here?”
“This is my bedchamber and my den. I have all the furniture necessary to keep me comfortable.”
“How do you eat?”
“The butler brings me my meals. He also takes them away.”
“Is the butler the only one who’s not afraid of you?” She almost didn’t ask the question, but she wanted to know if the servants feared him like they feared her.
“All of the servants have grown to be wary of the curse,” he slowly replied. “The curse won’t affect them, but after years of watching the curse kill my other wives, it’s understandable that they have grown scared to be around me.”
“What about Tabitha? Is she afraid of you?”
“No. She will come up here to talk to me of her own free will.”
She noted the way his voice drifted off and realized he was hiding something. “What aren’t you telling me?” When he didn’t respond, she squeezed his hand and turned toward him. “Evander, if I am to give her what she needs, I need you to be honest with me. I met her after talking to you yesterday, and she’s sure I’m going to die within a year. She believes this curse exists just like the others do. How can she come up here and talk to you when all of the servants except for the butler don’t?”
“I became Tabitha’s step-father when she was five. I never replaced her father, but she and I used to have a good relationship. Then, after I found out about the curse and married again, she blamed me for her step-mothers’ deaths. But I was careful with the last one. I didn’t once show her my face. She’s the one who lit the candle and looked at me.” He let out a heavy sigh. “Ever since then, she’s hated me. Her opinion isn’t any better now since I married you. I can’t go back in time and restore the relationship I once had with her. I tried for two years after my last wife’s death, but every time she looks at me, her eyes accuse me of murder. All I want is for her to be happy. She needs to find a good husband.” He paused. “Is she willing to let you chaperone her this Season?”
“Yes, though she’s not happy about it.”
“As long as she’ll let you chaperone her, that’s all that matters. You must not let her anger at me affect you. It’s me she hates. Not you. She doesn’t blame you for anything.”
“I realize that. She’s acting out of fear.”
“Yes. That’s exactly it.”
“Everyone in this townhouse, except for the butler, is acting out of fear.” She hesitated to continue, but then she said, “Including you.”
“We have a good reason to be fearful. The curse is real.”
She opened her mouth to tell him that curses didn’t exist, that there had to be a logical explanation for why his three wives had suffered untimely deaths, but he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it. Her breath caught in her throat. His lips were soft and warm. She had no idea a gentleman’s lips could feel that way, nor did she expect something as simple as a kiss on her hand to make her weak in the knees. If she hadn’t been sitting, she might have fallen into him.
“I can hear the concern for Tabitha in your voice,” Evander said. “Perhaps you might help her heal from the pain she’s been through over the years.”
She didn’t know how she could do that when she was dealing with the pain of losing her brother. It seemed to her only a person who wasn’t suffering could help someone else, but he sounded so hopeful that she didn’t have the heart to argue with him.
Was it unusual for someone like him—someone who was wrapped up in the belief of a curse—to be physically expressive? She would have expected him to be aloof. He did, after all, spend all of his time closed up in the attic.
But then, maybe that was why he seemed to be so insistent on establishing p
hysical contact with her. It had to get lonely up here. It must be terrible to be imprisoned like this.
“Tell me something about yourself,” he said. “What do you enjoy?”
Forcing her mind off of how sorry she felt for him, she decided to answer his question. “I’m not all that different from most ladies, I suppose. I like to take walks when the weather’s nice.”
“Where do you go on these walks?” he interrupted before she could continue. “London is full of townhouses and markets. It’s nothing like the country.”
“How do you know that if you don’t go outside?”
“There’s a window in this attic that I look out from time to time.”
There was? She glanced around the room, but all she saw was the unending darkness.
“I have it covered with an armoire. It’s the only way I can keep the room safe for you.”
“When I’m not here, do you remove the armoire from the window?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes I prefer the darkness.”
“You do?” She couldn’t imagine anyone preferring this. It seemed more like a punishment than a place of solitude.
“I don’t like to see my reflection.”
“You have mirrors in this room?”
“No, I don’t have mirrors. I refuse to bring any of those up here. Mirrors often bring bad omens. I can, however, see myself in the silverware when I eat or in the inkwell at my desk. There are also brass buttons and other little things that I can see my image on. I can even see my reflection on the window.”
“Are you afraid to look at your reflection? Is that why you said mirrors are a bad omen?”
“I don’t like to look at my face because it’s caused so much pain.” His voice softened. “I don’t want to talk about that. I want to speak about something pleasant. Where is there to walk in London?”
As tempting as it was to press him about things like mirrors or to even mention the absurdity of ghosts, she could tell by the tone in his voice that he was desperate to think on something unrelated to the curse and this townhouse. She let out a sigh. Her brother would encourage her to bring some little bit of happiness, no matter how slight, to someone like Evander. One thing she could say about her brother, it was that he enjoyed the life he’d had. Someone like Evander, who was older, didn’t seem to enjoy much of anything.
Fairest of Them All (Marriage by Fairytale Book 4) Page 7
