“I came to stop you from making a mistake,” she explained.
“And just what mistake am I making?”
“This wedding,” she threw her hands up in the air dramatically, which was highly unlike the Becca I’d been with. “You don’t need to do this to make Ghost happy. I know that’s why you left me. The guys told me about how Ghost arranged for you to be married to this woman all those years ago. But she ran away because she didn’t want to marry you. She didn’t want you, and you don’t have to do this now. We were supposed to be together. You said…” I stopped her there.
“I know what I said, and I didn’t really mean it, Becca.” Yeah, I felt like I was kicking a puppy by telling her that, but she needed to hear it. “I love Jamie. I have always loved Jamie. I wasn’t being forced to marry her before, I had fully agreed with doing it, because I wanted it. I wasn’t being forced then, and I’m definitely not being forced now. She’s the reason I could never commit to another person.”
“But she left you,” Becca whined, her lower lip wobbling as tears sprang from her eyes racing in trails down her cheeks. Becca slowly lowered her legs revealing the thin, black tank top she had pulled tightly over her torso. Her ample cleavage sprang forward catching my eye first, but what really captured my attention was the rounded belly seated below those much larger breasts she now had. “I didn’t tell you because I was waiting for you to come home to do it face to face. But then you sent me that text, and I was so angry. When I ran into Crutch last week, and he told me about the arranged marriage, I knew I had to come for you to put our family back together before you did something stupid. It took me all week to work up the courage to come though. I heard about what happened to Alice. I didn’t want you to think I was like her. I don’t wish any ill will towards Ghost’s daughter, but you and I are going to be parents. We should be parents together.”
“This can’t be,” I said in disbelief. “We were always careful, Becca.” I argued. Although as soon as the words were out of my mouth I remembered one of our last times together. She must have seen the realization dawn because she simply tipped her head up and down once. The condom had broken. One time. “Was there anyone else?” I asked even though I was almost one hundred percent certain she hadn’t been with anyone but me for months by that point, because she thought she had feelings for me and wanted more. She had stuck by me and been committed to only me for about six months before I went off and left for those runs, only to never return.
“You know I was only with you while I waited for you to realize I was worth the same level of commitment. We can do a DNA test when the baby gets here, but she is most definitely yours.”
“She? You already know it’s a girl?”
“Yeah, Sweet, we’re having a baby girl together,” her bright smile and watery eyes made me feel even more like a shitbag than I did when I ended things with her via text. She had that wistful, hopeful look again. She actually expected me to leave Jamie on our wedding day. Fuck! What the hell was Jamie going to think about this? If I told her today, I had no doubt she would call the wedding off. I needed to find some way to just make it through today, and then deal with everything after we made it official. I couldn’t lose Jamie again. I just fucking couldn’t.
“You seriously had to wait until my wedding day to tell me this?” Anger was starting to bubble up, because Becca had to be at least five months pregnant, since we hadn’t fucked since January. It wasn’t like she’d lost my number.
“I’m sorry, Sweet. I told you why. I’m not proud of the fact that I waited. Maybe if I had told you right away you’d never have gotten involved with her again. To be sure Ghost wouldn’t have made you, if he knew I was pregnant.”
“You’re not getting it, Becca!” I damn near shouted. “Jamie is the love of my damn life. She’s the woman no one else ever compared to. No one!” Harsh. I was being too harsh, but it had to be done. I needed her out of here.
“Everyone except me. You were going to make me your old lady.”
“No, I wasn’t,” I finally admitted. “Why do you think I was gone so long, and talked to you so little?”
“Because of her and Ghost,” she supplied weakly.
“No, Becca. I didn’t even find her until March.” Her head snapped back almost as if I’d slapped her.
“So all that time, in January and February?”
“I could have been home for some of that, but I chose not to be. I didn’t want to, Becca. I’m sorry. I just didn’t feel for you what you wanted me to. My heart has always belonged to Jamie. Even when I thought she might be dead and she wasn’t around to claim it, my heart has always been hers.
Becca broke down in busted sobs and huge tears.
“What am I supposed to do with our baby then? Am I supposed to raise our daughter alone? What do I tell her? That you didn’t want her?”
“I never said I didn’t want the baby or that I won’t take care of her. I just don’t want you. I’m sorry, Becca. I’ll take care of my responsibilities towards my daughter, if she’s mine, but I don’t have any obligations to you outside of that. I’ll help with medical expenses during the pregnancy too.”
“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you. You bastard! I loved you. I only kept the baby because you said we would be together when you got back. I would have taken care of it if I’d known!”
Jesus. “You need to calm down,” I called one of Ghost’s prospects in, a young man named Crutch. “Take her back to Cedar Falls. Make sure she stays there. Keep her under watch. Hell, lock and key if you have to until you hear from me. Be gentle though, she’s pregnant.”
“So, I’m your prisoner now?” She asked.
“No, but I am getting married in less than two hours and I won’t have you trying to stop that.”
Becca laughed then through her tears. “You’re unbelievable. I wanted to hate her for having your devotion, your love, and loyalty; but you plan on lying to her and marrying her with this secret hanging over your head.” Her humorless laugh continued. “Suddenly, I don’t envy her anymore. I feel sorry for her because she’s going to be the one stuck in the middle of a shit storm when it all comes out, and she’ll hate you for it. She’ll absolutely hate you. I guess I’ll get my karmic justice then. I may not have gotten what I thought I wanted, but you’re going to lose what you wanted too.”
“Get out of here. I’ll let Ghost know you’re on an errand for me.” I watched as Becca walked out quickly with Crutch. She put up no kind of fight. She didn’t need to though. Her words were already haunting me. I stood there, trying to pull myself together, debating what to do and cursing the damn fates for the one horribly timed broken condom. Hell, I cursed them enough for Jamie’s ex-best friend and the seven years we had already lost. Now this.
“You okay, man?” Quickshot entered the room and closed the door behind him. There was only so much I could admit to him. He had a special bond with Jamie. A bond that went back to them being in diapers together, and I wasn’t sure how he was going to take this news or what I wanted to do with it. I had little doubt as to what he’d want me to do. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t take the chance that I’d lose her again. Not now, not on the day she was finally going to be my wife.
“I’m fine,” I responded. “Becca was trying a last ditch effort to hang onto something that was never there.”
Quickshot did not look appeased. “Funny, because I thought she looked knocked up.”
I just shrugged. “Maybe, but it wasn’t my problem.” It was my problem, in fact, but in a weird way it also wasn’t.
“Man, she came trying to get you back after someone planted a kid in her? That’s ballsy.” Quickshot tried to play it off as a joke, but underneath his words were laced with skepticism that he couldn’t hide.
I shrugged it off again. “Who knows why chicks do what they do. Right now, I’m only concerned with the one I’m about to marry.”
“Well, I guess you better get your ass out there then, huh?”
>
“Dude, we have another hour and,” I looked at my watch. “Fifteen minutes to go.”
“Keys came to tell me that if you’re ready, so are the women. She said if Jamie had to wait much longer she was going to cry off all her makeup again.” I laughed at that.
“Okay, well let’s get this show on the road then. I have a honeymoon to get to later.” Quick laughed then, and ushered me out of the tiny room that held my worst secret thus far. In a few months I would most likely be a dad, and it wouldn’t be my wife giving birth to my daughter. I knew I’d have to tell Jamie, but I couldn’t do it today. I knew this would kill her. She didn’t think she could have kids of her own, and it would be a slap in the face on the day of our wedding to tell her I was expecting a daughter with another woman. My heart was bleeding out in my chest, because I knew she needed to know, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t face losing her again after all this time. Not now, especially not now. I was going to need her even more. How did my life end up so fucking complicated?
Chapter 17
Everyone was here, and ready ahead of schedule so we were going to get to the good stuff a little early. It was hard to believe in just a few minutes I would be marrying Sweet. The same man I’d fallen in love with as a teenager, and who had unintentionally broken my heart as well. He had been mending it back together ever since we found one another again, and I had honestly never been so happy. For once, the balance in my life was almost at an optimal level.
“Ready?” My dad asked me as we heard the music start and the wedding party began to line up. Tash and Quickshot would be first out to join Sweet at the altar. Then Keys and Tank, followed by Legs and Spike. We had to drop Hawk from the lineup because JoJo refused to be in the wedding. I was pretty sure she did it to get back at me for not attending her father’s funeral, but whatever. That was something to deal with on another day.
“I’m ready, dad.” I told him while flashing a bright smile.
Legs and Spike were walking the aisle now. “Last chance to bail out of here,” my dad teased.
“You would not let me do that,” I scoffed.
“Baby girl, if for some reason you decided you couldn’t go through with this, I would most definitely make sure you got out of here.”
“Thank you, dad. Now, it’s time for you to give me away, because I don’t want to back out.” My father grinned at me then.
“I knew you two were a perfect match, way back when I had my head so far up my own ass I couldn’t see much else.” The man had the audacity to say to me as he started walking me down the aisle towards my future. I had to stifle a laugh and elbowed him to get him to shut up. I barely noticed anyone else as we walked past the people who made up all of our friends, families, and both of our clubs. All I saw was the man standing, waiting for me at the altar. I saw the man I had a crush on at 16, fell in love with at 17, and the man I fell in love with all over again at 25. He was handsomely decked out in black slacks with a white button down shirt and his black leather kutte, exactly what I’d asked him to wear. Plus, he also had on a tie, as did all the other guys. The men were wearing them rather loosely on their collars. Sweet had asked me to wear a wedding dress, but to surprise him with what I picked out.
The simple white gown I wore had a skirt that flares out at the bottom, and where it flared out it gave way to the same aquamarine color as my eyes. Coincidentally, it was the same color tie all the men in the wedding part were wearing, as well as the color of the bride’s maid’s dresses. My hair was swept up into an up do that left tendrils of my raven locks curled down to frame my face and accentuate my neckline that the strapless bodice helped bring attention to. A single blue and white orchid was pinned into my hair on the right side so it was visible to all the guests as I stood at the altar.
My father and I stood there on the cusp of the altar as the Reverend spoke. “Who shall give this woman unto this man that he may share in the duties of loving and protecting her?” My father moved forward as he said, “I give her freely to a man that is worthy,” as he placed my hand into Sweets. I couldn’t have stopped the tear that escaped, but Sweet smiled and leaned in to catch it with his thumb. As he stepped back, putting the tiniest bit of space between us once again he brought his thumb to his lips and kissed my tear away. The idiot didn’t realize that action would just trigger more. I loved him for it anyway. As we had our moment my father returned to his place in the first pew of the church where he sat next to Leanne and held her hand.
I’m honestly not sure I would ever be able to recall the actual recitation of our vows because my heart beat so frantically in my chest, and my eyes stayed glued to Sweet’s. Our love was the only thing worth remembering in that moment. Mine for him and the love I saw reflected back at me from his eyes tore into my heart and scarred it beautifully that day. That is what I remember.
As the rings were put in place upon our fingers and the Reverend spoke his final words my heart was ready to leap out of my chest. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.” Sweet may have jumped the gun a little, because his lips were locked on mine before the man had time to say the word “wife.” The kiss was sweet, hot passion just like the man who was wrapping me in his embrace. This had not been the quickie Vegas wedding Sweet and I had planned on seven and a half years ago. Instead, it was everything. It was our real beginning where we knew everything about one another and vowed to never let another person, secret, or lie come between us again.
Whole moments must have passed by as we continued our kiss if the riotous behavior of our guests was any indicator. What actually finally made us pull apart was when someone yelled out. “Oh, good, we get to watch the consummation as well!” We broke apart laughing. I was now married to the very man I’d been promised to all those years ago, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
For our reception, I changed into a light blue summer dress with tiny white flowers on it. Sweet and I would actually only get to spend about two hours at the reception, because our flight to Hawaii left in six, and we had a two hour drive just to get to the airport. I couldn’t believe I was finally going to get the dream honeymoon I had envisioned once upon a time when Sweet and I had discussed it years ago. It would literally be a dream come true, and Sweet was making sure it happened for me.
I wouldn’t allow Sweet to come in the room with me as I changed dresses, because I didn’t think we’d ever make it to the reception if he did. The minute I finished and opened the door it was to him frowning down at his phone, texting furiously. “What’s wrong?”
He glanced up at me then. “Nothing to worry over, Sugar. I was just making sure things were set for later.” His eyebrow twitched as he said this. It was his tell when he lied. My gut clenched, in what I can only describe as a PTSD-style reaction based on all the issues we’d had before. I didn’t call him out on his lie though, because he very well could have been trying to set up some sort of surprise for our honeymoon and I didn’t want to ruin it.
My dad and Leanne were the first people to descend on us as we arrived, and I did not miss the fact that they were holding hands once again. It also didn’t go unnoticed that my dad appeared to be wearing Leanne’s shade of lipstick.
“My baby girl!” My dad said as he reached for me. “I’m so happy I was able to be here to give you away on your special day.”
“Me too, dad,” I told him.
“Your mom would have been really proud of you. You were the most stunning, classy bride I’ve ever seen.” He turned to Sweet then. “I handed her off to your care, but any more misunderstandings, fuckups, or you fail her in any way, and I will not hesitate to go to your ass. I don’t give a fuck what rights you think you earned by marrying her!” I expected no less from my big, burly, alpha-dog biker dad. Had he not threatened Sweet, he wouldn’t have been doing his job. Sweet blanched at his words and looked a little hot under the collar, so I stepped in to help relieve the tension.
I leaned in closer to my father and whispered in his
ear, “that’s a lovely shade of lipstick you’re wearing.” He backed up and rubbed his hand across his mouth that had Sweet cracking up.
“Told him about the lipstick, huh?” He asked rather loudly.
“Fucking hell!” My dad hissed out on a laugh. Then he turned narrowed eyes to Leanne. “You weren’t going to say anything?”
She just shrugged. “It’s your color,” she teased. “Besides, everyone got an eye full of you grabbing my ass out there, so I figured paybacks were a bitch.”
Now it was definitely my turn to laugh. “Oh, dad, I don’t think you realize what you got yourself into.”
My dad smiled in a way I hadn’t seen since before my mom died. It was equal parts enthralled, impish delight, and a promise of more to come. It was all aimed at Leanne. I wasn’t certain how I felt about it deep down, because I loved them both, and worried that one or the other would end up hurt. But it was amazing to see life breathed back into the daddy I had lost long ago.
Leanne and my father moved on to their table as a line of guests greeted Sweet and me for the first time as husband and wife. I was now officially the president of an MC and the old lady to the president of another one. The dynamic was throwing people a little bit, but we’d figure it out eventually. We danced, we laughed, pictures were taken, and cake was cut and smooshed into faces. Love was everywhere for the next couple hours when Sweet finally tracked me down as I was about to toss my bouquet to the single women.
As soon as it was done, and Keys was the lucky one who caught it, Sweet strolled over to me. “You about ready to head out, sugar?”
“Yeah, just let me run to the bathroom real quick first.” When I was done and washing up at the sink JoJo came waltzing in through the door. I smiled tentatively at her through the mirror.
Angel Girl (S.H.E. Book 1) Page 24