My hair was now perpendicular. My reader can blame it or not, but itwas.
Then at this very moment from somewhere below in the building there camethe sound of a prolonged and piercing cry, a cry as of a soul passing inagony. My reader may censure me or not, but right at this moment Idecided to beat it. Whether I should have remained to see what washappening is a question that I will not discuss. My one idea was to getout, and to get out quickly. The window of the tower room was sometwenty-five feet above the ground. I sprang out through the casement inone leap and landed on the grass below. I jumped over the shrubbery inone bound and cleared the moat in one jump. I went down the avenue inabout six strides and ran five miles along the road through the fens inthree minutes. This at least is an accurate transcription of mysensations. It may have taken longer. I never stopped till I foundmyself on the threshold of the _Buggam Arms_ in Little Buggam, beatingon the door for the landlord.
I returned to Buggam Grange on the next day in the bright sunlight of afrosty November morning, in a seven-cylinder motor car with six localconstables and a physician. It makes all the difference. We carriedrevolvers, spades, pickaxes, shotguns and an ouija board.
What we found cleared up for ever the mystery of the Grange. Wediscovered Horrod the butler lying on the dining-room floor quite dead.The physician said that he had died from heart failure. There wasevidence from the marks of his shoes in the dust that he had come in thenight to the tower room. On the table he had placed a paper whichcontained a full confession of his having murdered Jeremy Buggam fiftyyears before. The circumstances of the murder had rendered it easy forhim to fasten the crime upon Sir Duggam, already insensible from drink.A few minutes with the ouija board enabled us to get a fullcorroboration from Sir Duggam. He promised, moreover, now that his namewas cleared, to go away from the premises for ever.
My friend, the present Sir Jeremy, has rehabilitated Buggam Grange. Theplace is rebuilt. The moat is drained. The whole house is lit withelectricity. There are beautiful motor drives in all directions in thewoods. He has had the bats shot and the owls stuffed. His daughter,Clara Buggam, became my wife. She is looking over my shoulder as Iwrite. What more do you want?
THE END
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
LITERARY LAPSES
_Twelfth Edition. Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Spectator._--"This little book is a happy example of the way in which the double life can be lived blamelessly and to the great advantage of the community. The book fairly entitles Mr. Leacock to be considered not only a humorist but a benefactor. The contents should appeal to English readers with the double virtue that attaches to work which is at once new and richly humorous."
_Globe._--"One specimen of Mr. Leacock's humour, 'Boarding-House Geometry,' has long been treasured on this side."
_The Guardian._--"Much to be welcomed is Professor Stephen Leacock's 'Literary Lapses,'--this charming and humorous work. All the sketches have a freshness and a new personal touch. Mr. Leacock is, as the politicians say, 'a national asset,' and Mr. Leacock is a Canadian to be proud of. One has the comfortable feeling as one reads that one is in the company of a cultured person capable of attractive varieties of foolishness."
_Pall Mall Gazette._--"The appearance of 'Literary Lapses' is practically the English debut of a young Canadian writer who is turning from medicine to literature with every success. Dr. Stephen Leacock is at least the equal of many who are likely to be long remembered for their short comic sketches and essays; he has already shown that he has the high spirits of 'Max Adeler' and the fine sense of quick fun. There are many sketches in 'Literary Lapses' that are worthy of comparison with the best American humour."
_Morning Post._--"The close connection between imagination, humour, and the mathematical faculty has never been so delightfully demonstrated."
_Outlook._--"Mr. John Lane must be credited with the desire of associating the Bodley Head with the discovery of new humorists. Mr. Leacock sets out to make people laugh. He succeeds and makes them laugh at the right thing. He has a wide range of new subjects; the world will gain in cheerfulness if Mr. Leacock continues to produce so many excellent jests to the book as there are in the one under notice."
_Truth._--"By the publication of Mr. Stephen Leacock's 'Literary Lapses' Mr. John Lane has introduced to the British Public a new American humorist for whom a widespread popularity can be confidently predicted."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
NONSENSE NOVELS
_THIRTEENTH EDITION_
_Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Spectator._--"We can assure our readers who delight in mere joyous desipience that they will find a rich harvest of laughter in the purely irresponsible outpourings of Professor Leacock's fancy."
_Pall Mall Gazette._--"It is all not only healthy satire, but healthy humour as well, and shows that the author of 'Literary Lapses' is capable of producing a steady flow of high spirits put into a form which is equal to the best traditions of contemporary humour. Mr. Leacock certainly bids fair to rival the immortal 'Lewis Carroll' in combining the irreconcilable--exact science with perfect humour--and making the amusement better the instruction."
_Daily Mail._--"In his 'Literary Lapses' Mr. Stephen Leacock gave the laughter-loving world assurance of a new humorist of irresistible high spirits and rare spontaneity and freshness. By this rollicking collection of 'Nonsense Novels,' in tabloid form, he not only confirms the excellent impression of his earlier work, but establishes his reputation as a master of the art of literary burlesque. The whole collection is a sheer delight, and places its author in the front rank as a literary humorist."
Mr. JAMES DOUGLAS in _The Star_.--"We have all laughed over Mr. Stephen Leacock's 'Literary Lapses.' It is one of those books one would die rather than lend, for to lend it is to lose it for ever. Mr. Leacock's new book, 'Nonsense Novels,' is more humorous than 'Literary Lapses.' That is to say, it is the most humorous book we have had since Mr. Dooley swum into our ken. Its humour is so rich that it places Mr. Leacock beside Mark Twain."
_Morning Leader._--"Mr. Leacock possesses infinite verbal dexterity.... Mr. Leacock must be added as a recognized humorist."
_Daily Express._--"Mr. Stephen Leacock's 'Nonsense Novels' is the best collection of parodies I have read for many a day. The whole book is a scream, witty, ingenious, irresistible."
_Public Opinion._--"A most entertaining book."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
SUNSHINE SKETCHES OF A LITTLE TOWN
WITH A FRONTISPIECE BY CYRUS CUNEO
_Ninth Edition. Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_The Times._--"His real hard work, for which no emolument would be a fitting reward, is distilling sunshine. This new book is full of it--the sunshine of humour, the thin keen sunshine of irony, the mellow evening sunshine of sentiment."
_Spectator._--"This is not the first but the third volume in which he has contributed to the gaiety of the Old as well as the New World.... A most welcome freedom from the pessimism of Old-World fiction."
_Academy._--"One of the best and most enjoyable series of sketches that we have read for some time ... they are all bright and sparkling, and bristle with wit and humour."
_Pall Mall Gazette._--"Like all real humorists Mr. Leacock steps at once into his proper position.... His touch of humour will make the Anglo-Saxon world his reader.... We cannot recall a more laughable book."
_Globe._--"Professor Leacock never fails to provide a feast of enjoyment.... No one who wishes to dispose intellectually of a few hours sho
uld neglect Professor Leacock's admirable contribution to English literature. It is warranted to bring sunshine into every home."
_Country Life._--"Informed by a droll humour, quite unforced, Mr. Leacock reviews his little community for the sport of the thing, and the result is a natural and delightful piece of work."
_Daily Telegraph._--"His Sketches are so fresh and delightful in the manner of their presentation.... Allowing for differences of theme, and of the human materials for study, Mr. Leacock strikes us as a sort of Americanised Mr. W. W. Jacobs. Like the English humorist, the Canadian one has a delightfully fresh and amusing way of putting things, of suggesting more than he says, of narrating more or less ordinary happenings in an irresistibly comical fashion.... Mr. Leacock should be popular with readers who can appreciate fun shot with kindly satire."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
BEHIND THE BEYOND
AND OTHER CONTRIBUTIONS TO HUMAN KNOWLEDGE. With 16 Illustrations byA. H. FISH.
_Fifth Edition. Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Punch._--"In his latest book, 'Behind the Beyond,' he is in brilliant scoring form. I can see 'Behind the Beyond' breaking up many homes; for no family will be able to stand the sudden sharp yelps of laughter which must infallibly punctuate the decent after-dinner silence when one of its members gets hold of this book. It is Mr. Leacock's peculiar gift that he makes you laugh out loud. When Mr. Leacock's literal translation of Homer, on p. 193, met my eye, a howl of mirth broke from me. I also forgot myself over the interview with the photographer. As for the sketch which gives its title, to the book, it is the last word in polished satire. The present volume is Mr. Leacock at his best."
_Spectator._--"Beneficent contributions to the gaiety of nations. The longest and best thing in the book is the delightful burlesque of a modern problem play. Miss Fish's illustrations are decidedly clever."
_Observer._--"There are delicious touches in it."
_Queen._--"All through the book the author furnishes a continual feast of enjoyment."
_Dundee Advertiser._--"'Behind the Beyond' is a brilliant parody, and the other sketches are all of Mr. Leacock's very best, 'Homer and Humbug' being as fine a piece of raillery as Mr. Leacock has written. Mr. Leacock is a humorist of the first rank, unique in his own sphere, and this volume will add yet more to his reputation."
_Aberdeen Free Press._--"Exquisite quality ... amazingly funny."
_Yorkshire Daily Post._--"In the skit on the problem play which gives the book its title the author reaches his high-water mark."
_Glasgow Herald._--"Another welcome addition to the gaiety of the nations. The title-piece is an inimitably clever skit. It is both genial and realistic, and there is a genuine laugh in every line of it. Humour and artistry are finely blended in the drawings."
_Daily Express._--"The pictures have genuine and rare distinction."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
ARCADIAN ADVENTURES WITH THE IDLE RICH
_FOURTH EDITION_
_Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Spectator._--"A blend of delicious fooling and excellent satire. Once more the author of 'Literary Lapses' has proved himself a benefactor of his kind."
_Morning Post._--"All the 'Adventures' are full of the fuel of the laughter which is an intellectual thing."
_Pall Mall Gazette._--"Professor Leacock shows no falling off either in his fund of social observation or his power of turning it to sarcasm and humour. The book is full to the brim with honest laughter and clever ideas."
_Bystander._--"It is necessary to laugh, now even more necessary than at ordinary times. Fortunately, Professor Leacock produces a new book at the right moment. It will cause many chuckles. He is simply irresistible."
_Westminster Gazette._--"Marks a distinct advance in Mr. Leacock's artistic development."
_Daily Chronicle._--"This altogether delightful and brilliant comedy of life.... Mr. Leacock's humour comes from the very depths of a strong personality, and in the midst of a thousand whimsicalities, a thousand searchlights on the puerilities of human nature he never loses touch with the essential bite of life."
_Saturday Review._--"Professor Leacock is a delightful writer of irresponsible nonsense with a fresh and original touch. These 'Arcadian Adventures' are things of sheer delight."
_Tatler._--"I have not felt so full of eagerness and life since the war began as after I had read this delightfully humorous and clever book."
_Evening Standard._--"In this book the satire is brilliantly conspicuous."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
MOONBEAMS FROM THE LARGER LUNACY
_FOURTH EDITION_
_Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Times._--"Such a perfect piece of social observation and joyful castigation as the description of the last man in Europe ... the portrait of So-and-so is not likely to be forgotten ... it is so funny and so true."
_Morning Post._--"Excellent fooling ... wisdom made laughable."
_Daily Chronicle._--"Here is wit, fun, frolic, nonsense, verse, satire, comedy, criticism--a perfect gold mine for those who love laughter."
_Sunday Times._--"Very pungent and telling satire. Buy the book--it will give you a happy hour."
_Standard._--"Under the beams of the moon of his delight, the author never fails to be amusing."
_Pall Mall Gazette._--"Mr. Leacock's humour is a credit to Canada, for it has a depth and a polish such as are both rare in the literature of a young nation."
_Land and Water._--"Unlike a number of so-called humorists, Mr. Leacock is really funny, as these sketches prove."
_Field._--"Indeed a very pleasant hour can be spent with this author, who is full of humour, wit, and cleverness, and by his work adds much to the gaiety of life."
_Spectator._--"Mr. Leacock has added to our indebtedness by his new budget of refreshing absurdities.... In shooting folly as it flies, he launches darts that find their billet on both sides of the Atlantic."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
ESSAYS AND LITERARY STUDIES
_Fifth Edition. Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Truth._--"Full of practical wisdom, as sober as it is sound."
_Morning Post._--"He is the subtlest of all transatlantic humorists, and, as we have pointed out before, might almost be defined as the discoverer of a method combining English and American humour. But he never takes either his subject or himself too seriously, and the result is a book which is as readable as any of its mirthful predecessors."
_World._--"Those readers who fail to find pleasure in this new volume of Essays will be difficult to please. Here are discourses in the author's happiest vein."
_Daily News._--"All are delightful."
_Bystander._--"No sane person will object to Professor Leacock professing, so long as he periodically issues such good entertainment as 'Essays and Literary Studies.'"
_Daily Telegraph._--"The engaging talent of this Canadian author has hitherto been exercised in the lighter realm of wit and fancy. In his latest volume there is the same irresistible humour, the same delicate satire, the same joyous freshness; but the wisdom he distils is concerned more with realities of our changing age."
_Outlook._--"Mr. Leacock's humour is his own, whimsical with the ease of a self-confident personality, far-sighted, quick-witted, and invariably humane."
_Times._--"Professor Leacock's paper on
American humour is quite the best that we know upon the subject."
_Spectator._--"Those of us who are grateful to Mr. Leacock as an intrepid purveyor of wholesome food for laughter have not failed to recognize that he mingles shrewdness with levity--that he is, in short, wise as well as merry."
* * * * *
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
Further Foolishness
SKETCHES AND SATIRES ON THE FOLLIES OF THE DAY
With Coloured Frontispiece by "Fish," and five other Plates byM. Blood
_Fourth Edition. Crown 8vo. 5s. net_
_Morning Post._--"An excellent antidote to war worry."
_Evening Standard._--"You will acknowledge, if you have not done so before, the satirical keenness of Mr. Leacock."
_Daily Graphic._--"The book is a joy all through, laughter on every page."
_Times._--"Further examples of the diverting humour of Professor Leacock."
_Bystander._--"'Further Foolishness,' in a word, is the most admirable tonic which I can prescribe to-day ... the jolliest possible medley."
_Daily Chronicle._--"Mr. Leacock's fun is fine and delicate, full of quaint surprises; guaranteed to provoke cheerfulness in the dullest. He is a master-humorist, and this book is one of the cleverest examples of honest humour and witty satire ever produced."
_Spectator._--"In this new budget of absurdities we are more than ever reminded of Mr. Leacock's essential affinity with Artemus Ward, in whose wildest extravagances there was nearly always a core of wholesome sanity, who was always on the side of the angels, and who was a true patriot as well as a great humorist."
Winsome Winnie and other New Nonsense Novels Page 12
