by Kait Nolan
“I don’t know. We haven’t exactly settled on the best means of breaking the news.”
“I vote for, ‘Hey family, FYI, we’re in love with each other. Isn’t it great?’” Norah declared.
Tess dropped her gaze. “He hasn’t said he’s in love with me.” Neither had she, but she wasn’t going to do anything to prompt him. Over the past couple of weeks, he’d been all about doing anything she needed right now, totally the caretaker. Which was wonderful. But she didn’t know if that would extend to saying something he wasn’t a hundred percent sure he meant, in the name of her emotional well-being and that of the baby.
Norah made an impatient noise. “Well, I don’t know why he’s sitting on it because he absolutely is. I’ve got eyes in my head, and that man is besotted with you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know Mitch. He’s one of my nearest, dearest friends, and I’ve watched him skirt the edges with woman after woman, always holding something back. But I’ve never seen him look at another woman the way he looks at you.”
Given how long her list of worries was, Tess wished she really could let go of the biggest. “Well, let’s hope you’re right.” Because if she wasn’t, Tess didn’t know how she was going to cope.
Chapter 13
Tears streamed down Tess’s cheeks, and her throat ached from crying.
Beside her, Mitch clicked stop on the rolling credits. “You actually like this movie? Why?”
She sniffed and sat up, reaching for the box of tissues on the coffee table. “It’s a classic, and sometimes you just need a good cry.”
“Maybe this is the girl version of needing a good fight to blow off some steam. I feel like I need to marathon all the Die Hards to make up for that.”
“There are worse ways to spend a Saturday night. I’m game. But I want to go call my mom first.” She rose to head upstairs, but Mitch grabbed her hips and pulled her close to press a kiss to her belly.
“Does Eugenia Delphine want popcorn when she comes back?”
“Obi-Wan Kal-el will never turn down popcorn.”
His look of adoration was almost, almost as good as the words she’d yet to hear. He pressed a kiss to her palm and let her go. “I’ll make it and get the movie set up while you chat with your mom.”
“I may be a while,” Tess warned.
“Take your time.”
In their room, she made a nest of pillows and curled up on the bed to dial her mother’s number.
“Ciao, cara!”
Tess sniffed. “Hey Mamma.”
“You’ve been crying.” Maura’s voice was threaded through with iron, as if she’d reach through the phone to strangle whoever had upset her daughter.
“Steel Magnolias. I just finished watching it, and I was thinking of you. I miss you.” Her mother was really the only thing Tess missed about Denver.
Maura sighed. “I love that movie. And I miss you too. How are things in Mississippi?”
“Good. I’m starting on a new project that’s going to keep me here a while.” Settling in, she told her mom about the small business incubator.
“It’s a good direction. I think you’ll do well with it. And your father? How is he?”
Tess never knew quite how to answer such questions. Her parents had remained friends since their divorce, but she’d never really known how much of that was a front for her benefit. “He’s good. He’s happy.”
“Good. He hasn’t been happy for a long time.” The statement had the ring of truth rather than bitterness.
“When was he last really happy?”
“All the way happy?” Tess could hear movement and imagined her mother curling up in a similar position on the big white sofa in her living room. “When I was pregnant with you and those first few years after.”
Tess sat up, frowning. “Really? But I thought things were kind of rocky between you then. That you were about to break up.”
“We were. But when I turned up pregnant, he was elated. I’ve never seen a man so delighted to be a father. He loved you from the moment he knew you existed.” The smile in her mother’s voice came over the phone. “And, of course, you know I loved being a mother. That was enough for a long time. Until it wasn’t.”
Tess felt a ball of dread solidifying in her gut. This wasn’t what she’d expected to hear. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She’d needed to believe that she and Mitch were different. That they would overcome their circumstances to make this work. But now that her mother had opened the door, she couldn’t not walk through. So she asked the question she’d never been brave enough to pose before. “What really happened with you two?”
Maura was silent for a long time, so long, Tess wasn’t sure she was going to answer. “Things just…fizzled. We had passion, your father and I. You came from that. But it wasn’t the kind of foundation we needed for the long term.”
No proper foundation. Not like the kind of life-long love Judd and Autumn had. Not like any of the crazy-in-love couples she’d met since coming here. She and Mitch had blistering heat and a great deal of affection. And they had this baby. But did they have anything more than that?
As if realizing she’d left the conversation hanging at a low point, Maura continued. “Our lives may not have turned out as we expected, but that was fine. We both got you out of the deal. And you are our greatest treasure.”
She was loved. Tess knew and had never doubted that for a moment. But she’d wanted more for both her parents. She wanted more for herself.
“Anyway, I’m glad Gerald’s happy. I’ve never wished him ill.”
Maybe not, but Tess remembered the fights at the end. The tears. They always thought they’d hid it well, but she’d known. Maybe they’d gotten past it by now. Her father had moved on, finally. He’d found what he’d been missing. As uncomfortable as that might make Tess, she was happy for him. Now she only wished the same for her mother.
“Are you lonely, Mom?” The question slipped out before she could think better of it, but she didn’t pull it back.
“Sometimes. But I wouldn’t trade you for the world, la mia bambina.”
It made her heart hurt. “I love you too, Mamma.” Needing to shift the conversation, Tess forced some cheer into her voice. “So what’s going on with you?”
“I’m flying back to Naples at the end of next week to visit my cousins and stay for a while. Your Uncle Gio is talking about opening a vineyard. Can you imagine?” They talked a few more minutes, catching up on that side of the family, but Tess was only partly listening. She was too busy thinking about what her mother had said and wondering how she could’ve let herself get so caught up in the dream.
Mitch made it easy to trust in the dream. And he meant well. Tess was convinced that he truly believed everything he said. But they weren’t going to get the pretty fantasy. They didn’t have the foundation, and she didn’t come from the same kind of family he did. He would put his all in, just as her father had, and it wouldn’t be enough. She wouldn’t be enough. It was time for her to accept reality. He’d be a father to their child, but he’d never be truly hers.
“Aren’t we going to be way early for family dinner?” Tess asked.
“We didn’t have time for me to show you the park when we came out for Cam and Norah’s cookout. Since it’s still daylight, I thought we’d take the time to do it today.” Mitch kept his tone easy, though he had an urge to wipe damp palms on his pants.
Things had been good between them. Better than good. They’d had a couple of weeks to come to terms with their impending parenthood, and the general mood was one of excitement rather than dread. Mitch had to believe that counted for something and that enough time had passed since the initial shock that Tess would really hear what he wanted to tell her. God-willing, there would be announcements at dinner tonight and they could start dealing with the fallout instead of continuing to sneak around. The secrecy was wearing on them both.
He wheeled his truck into a parking spa
ce, relieved to see that nobody was out here this late Sunday afternoon. Didn’t mean it would stay that way, but as a venue for a proposal, this was a lot less public than the fountain on the green. He hoped he’d get some kind of positive karma for popping the question on the banks of Hope Springs.
Tess straightened in her seat, peering out toward the water. “Oh, it’s beautiful.”
“Wait ’til you see it up close.” Mitch slid out of the driver’s side, hustling around to open her door. But, of course, Tess being Tess, she’d already slipped out. He took her hand. “Let’s take a little walk.”
He gave her a tour of the park proper, relieved to have the privacy to keep her hand tucked in his as he told her about Cam’s design.
Tess stroked gentle fingers over the bright blooms of an azalea bush at the edge of the trail. “He’s a talented landscape architect. The gardens he put in at The Babylon are a wonder.”
“He put in Aunt Sandy’s garden when her cancer got bad. He’d read somewhere about the benefits of some nature therapies—that patients had better outcomes if they had ready access to nature. She couldn’t leave the house much then, and he wanted her to have something beautiful to look at, somewhere not far to go where she could get out of the house. She’s had a helluva good time maintaining it since she went into remission.”
“He’s a good guy, your cousin. Do you two do much work together?”
“Not as much as I’d like. Other than residential stuff, the majority of my work is on sites elsewhere. I’m fortunate that I can do my job from most anywhere.” Mitch knew that might come into play with their future. She played an active role in Peyton Consolidated. He wasn’t deluded enough to believe she could necessarily keep doing that from here forever, or that she’d want to.
“Is that how you were able to get away for nearly a month for Europe?”
“Yeah. I took the absolutely necessary stuff with me and fit it in between playing tourist.”
“I paid dearly for the week I took in Scotland. Too many irons in the fire. I worked like the devil to catch up when I got back to London.”
“Regrets?” He held his breath, waiting for her answer.
She slanted those dark eyes up at him and smiled. “No.”
Some of the tension abated. “C’mon. There’s something I want to show you.” Mitch led her down the trail and into the trees that flanked the bank along this stretch. There was a two-mile loop that doubled back to the parking lot, with benches and overlooks nestled at various intervals. They stopped at one about half a mile in, leaving the trail to stare out over the water.
“This is lovely. It reminds me a little of Loch Faskally, except without the mountains.”
“I thought it might. If I’d had my way, I’d have taken you back there for this.” It was where he’d first known he wanted to ask her.
“For what?”
Ignoring the suspicion suddenly clouding her eyes, Mitch took her hands and turned to face her, bending to brush a soft kiss across her mouth. After a brief hesitation, she lifted to him. His heart beat like a jackhammer in his chest. What was he afraid of? This was only his everything.
“Tess,” he murmured. “My sweet, perfect, Tess. I’m so happy you came into my life.”
“Mitch—”
“Just let me get this out, okay?” If he lost his momentum, he was going to botch this again. “I know nothing about us has gone according to plan. We didn’t expect to find each other. We didn’t expect to get pregnant. We didn’t expect to be related in a weird, messy, second marriage sort of way. But even though we didn’t have a conventional start, we’re going to have an amazing future. I love what that future looks like. I love the family we’re making. And I love you. So—” He released one of her hands and dropped to one knee, pulling out the ring that had been burning a hole in his pocket. “—I’m asking you, Teresa Anne Peyton, to be my wife and the mother of my children. Marry me.”
As he got through the speech, he finally zeroed in on her face and felt his stomach plummet.
“No.” The single syllable was soft. There was no trace of anger or fear, she just seemed decided. Regretful.
Mitch could only stare at her. “I know I flubbed this the first time. It wasn’t fair of me to put dictates on you—”
“It’s not that. And I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you want to hear. I know you believe this is the right thing for this baby. I just…don’t.”
“How can having two parents in a stable relationship not be the right thing for a child?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Mitch. And I’m not going to do anything to block you from this baby. I want to stay with you. I want to build that life while we keep exploring things between us. But I’m not making any more major life decisions on a whim.”
Her words knocked the wind out of him, leaving an ache behind he didn’t know how to control. She’d said no. He’d told her he loved her and she didn’t say it back. She’d reduced his asking her to marry him to a whim. This was their life. The life of their child. How could she imagine this was just some kind of rash impulse?
Because he didn’t dare open his mouth right now, Mitch stayed silent, struggling to see this from her perspective. He’d learned Tess was a detail-oriented person. A planner to the nth degree. Their affair was the only thing she’d ever done that didn’t play to that, and while it led her to him—he didn’t doubt her when she said she didn’t regret it—it also led her to this unexpected pregnancy, and she was still struggling with that. So, okay, it made sense that she’d be gun-shy about adding to the list of mistakes by breaking pattern again.
But they weren’t a mistake, damn it! Their baby wasn’t a mistake. And he had no idea where to go from here. How was he supposed to go back to living with her, making all the preparations for this baby, plans for a life together, and not want to marry her? He wanted her as his wife. Wanted a proper family. He didn’t want to live with her wondering if any day she was going to bolt on him, taking what they’d made between them with her and leaving him with nothing. Again.
Tess looked down at him with wounded eyes. Because she was the one hurt by all of this? Mitch sucked in a breath and rose to his feet, searching for calm. He wasn’t about to do anything foolish like starting an argument with his pregnant girlfriend by demanding more explanation before heading to family dinner. Which, Christ, they still had to go to because he couldn’t very well call up and cancel on the grounds of a fractured heart, now could he? She needed to avoid any upset, so he would dig deep and find some freaking control.
She wasn’t closing the door. She wasn’t moving out or breaking up with him. She hadn’t said she loved him back, but that wasn’t the same as saying she felt nothing. She hadn’t denied that there was something between them. He just had to find a way to get her to trust in it. In him. And maybe the only thing that would do that was time. So even though it hurt like a bitch, the only thing he could do right now was accept her rejection and hope like hell she’d come around to the idea in the future.
Chapter 14
“We’re going to be late for dinner.” It was the only thing Mitch said before he turned and headed for the truck.
They were still going to family dinner? How was she supposed to put on a happy face after this? How was she supposed to act like everything was fine when things were clearly so very wrong between them? And yet, she didn’t want to go straight home with him either. What if he wanted to talk more about all this? She’d already used up almost every shred of control she had not to break down as he got down on one knee and ruined everything. So while dinner would be its own special hell, maybe it would be a stay of execution until she could find a way to hold her shit together.
Tension radiated between them in the cab of the truck. Tess knew she’d hurt him with her refusal. But she absolutely couldn’t say yes to this. His proposal had been exactly what she’d feared. All about the baby. Yes, he’d said he’d loved her. Last. As if it was an afterthought he needed to tack on bec
ause that’s simply what you said when you proposed to a woman. He probably even believed it on some level. But he didn’t love her. He loved the idea of her. Of this whole wife and kids and family picture he’d built in his head. A picture that was as alien to her as living on the moon. He wasn’t seeing her anymore. Ironic, since the entire appeal of an affair with him in the first place was that he had seen her, not a Peyton. Now she’d been lost again, under the umbrella of something else. All he could see was the mother of his child, not just Tess. Maybe she was doomed never to find anyone who could love her simply for her.
Mitch parked the truck behind the long row of vehicles in Cam and Norah’s driveway. For a long moment neither of them spoke, simply looking straight ahead.
“We can leave whenever you’re ready.” He still didn’t look at her.
“Okay.”
By the time they made it to the door, they’d both put on their everything’s fine faces. She stepped into the usual chaos of Campbells, saying her hellos and numbly giving and accepting hugs. Mitch didn’t stick close. They didn’t touch, and for once that was okay. There wouldn’t be any of the lingering glances that always threatened to give them away. He needed some space from her. She understood that. She could use a little from him, too. Maybe she’d get a room at The Babylon again for a while, until they’d come back to some sort of even keel.
Trey carried over a glass of wine. “We are celebrating! The purchase of the factory has officially gone through.”
Tess accepted the glass but didn’t actually drink. The scent of alcohol was sharp in her nose. “That’s great, Dad. I’ll get Brody out to the site next week to see whether he can work us into the schedule.”
“I know he’s booked up a while, but we can afford to wait a little for the sake of working with someone we trust.”
Waiting. Being here longer without any real action. With everything else weighing heavy on her heart, Tess wasn’t sure how long she could stand it. As everyone around her continued to chatter away about her brainchild, she could barely keep up with the conversation. Restless, uncertain, she spun the glass by the stem.
