“Where did you get that?” my dad asked sternly, as he looked from the toy up toward me with a dirty look on his face.
Before I could say anything, Noah had already answered.
“Uncle Sawyer.”
Really, I thought? Did he have to add uncle to the front of his name?
“Who?” my dad snapped out, as his entire body went stiff.
Shit!
Noah was off of my dad's lap and at my side in seconds.
“My best friend Ava's uncle,” Noah whispered, before looking up at me. “Mommy knows him.”
“I bet she does,” my dad growled out, not taking his eyes off of me.
“Dad,” I began, but he cut me off.
“No!” he snapped. “I thought you said you came back here to have a better life, not to go backwards.”
“Dad,” I began again, but he didn't let me speak.
“Don't dad me, Grace,” he said sternly. “That boy is trouble. Haven't you gotten yourself in enough of that already?”
He looked down at Noah and then back up at me with disgust written in his features.
“I don't know why I even bother,” I whispered, without thinking.
“Bother what?” he asked. “Showing just how irresponsible you still are.”
“You know what?” I snapped. “I did something you weren't happy about. I get it, but we got married and had a life together.”
“And now you're back here,” he said with a laugh.
“My husband died,” I snapped, as tears I was fighting so hard began slipping from the corners of my eyes. “I came back here for Noah. I wanted him to know you and mom. Maybe I should have just stayed gone.”
I saw my mom out of the corner of my eye. She'd walked into the room just a moment before.
“Why don't you come with me, Noah?” she asked.
“No,” he said, as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around me. “I want to stay here.”
A sad look filled my mom's eyes. Did she really expect him to run to her? She wasn't much better than my father.
“You need to be careful what you say,” she said, as she looked at my dad and then back at Noah.
“Why?” my dad asked.
“I'm trying to show you that I'm not a disappointment, that I'm responsible,” I said, as I ran one hand through Noah's hair and reached up to wipe my tears away with the other.
“Honey,” my mom said, as she looked at me.
“Do not honey her,” my dad snapped, before turning his attention right back to me. “How are you showing that? By moving back here with the money your husband left you.”
“I'm going to school,” I said, “and the money I have is the money we saved together.”
“You should have gone to school before,” he growled out. “That would have been the responsible thing to do.”
“I'm not sorry for what I've done,” I growled back, “and I am responsible.”
“By talking to him,” he said, as his features crinkled in disgust, “to Sawyer. Are you sure that's not why you're really back here?”
“His niece is Noah's friend at school,” I said, defending myself. “He just moved back a month and a half ago. I didn't even know he was here. He was supposed to be in the service.”
“He probably couldn't even hack that,” my dad said, as he let out a laugh.
“He was gone for years,” I snapped out, finding myself defending Sawyer more than I even defended myself. “He got shot fighting for our country.”
My dad shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“You dating him now?” he asked, with sarcasm filling his words.
“No!” I let out. “Noah and his niece are friends. I've started talking to Julia again, and Sawyer is there from time to time.”
“He picks Ava up from school,” Noah said, as he relaxed a bit beside me. “We play on the playground together. He plays sometimes too.”
“Because he's a child,” my dad began, but Noah cut him off.
“No he's not, Grandpa,” Noah said, as he shook his head. “He's a man.”
“Oh, he's no man,” my dad snapped, as his eyes narrowed up at me from his seat. “He's a loser. That's what he is.”
“Why would you say that? He's never done anything to you,” I snapped back, my mind going back to Sawyer's words. He was right, I didn't know shit, and I'd judged him. I'd done exactly what my father had. I'd really screwed up.
“You haven't changed a bit, have you?” my dad asked, as a smile crossed his face.
Before I could stop it, the dam burst, and tears began streaming down my cheeks. I wasn't sure exactly who they were for, my dad, Sawyer, or both.
“I don't know what I was thinking coming here,” I said, as I grabbed Noah's hand. “We're going home. Enjoy your cake.”
Without another word, I walked out of the room and was shocked to find my mom right behind me. She called out my name, as I walked out the door with Noah at my side, but I didn't stop. I just kept walking.
When Noah was safely in his side of the car and I was in mine, I pulled out my phone and sent Sawyer a quick text.
Me: I'm so sorry!
Then I put my phone away, started the car, and backed out of the driveway, not once looking up to see if she was there. As I drove away, I reached up with my free hand to try and dry my tears.
“You okay?” Noah asked in a sad tone.
“Yeah, I'm good,” I lied, as I glanced over at my son for a moment, knowing I'd made a huge mess out of everything.
“Why did grandpa say that stuff to you?” he asked. “You're a great mom.”
“Thank you,” I said, as I reached over and took his little hand in mine. “What do you want to do when we get home?”
“Can we dance?” he asked. “It makes you happy. We always laugh.”
“Yeah, we can dance,” I said, before driving the rest of the way in silence.
As soon as we were in the house, I check my phone to find no messages, so I sent another one.
Me: Forgive me!
As I stared at my phone, I couldn't help but wonder what I was even doing. Sawyer wasn't talking to me. He was leaving me alone. That was what I'd wanted, right?
The rest of the day had gone by in a blur. I was a mess, and so was my life. When I finally drifted off to sleep that night, I'd had no idea what to do about anything. I was lost and feeling so damn alone.
The next morning, I dropped Noah off at school and drove back home on autopilot. I pulled into my driveway and looked up to find nothing on my porch that I hadn't put there myself. As I walked into my house, sadness filled me. No breakfast. No messages. Nothing. He was done with me, and I missed him so damn bad.
I got my laptop ready, grabbed my school stuff, and let my body flop down onto my chair, as tears filled my eyes. Then I grabbed the cord for my phone, and I plugged it in. I silenced the phone and moved to set it down on the table, but I stopped at the last second and brought it back toward me. Then I pulled up our chain of messages and typed out a new one.
Me: I screwed up. I'm so sorry, Sawyer. Please talk to me.
I sat there holding my phone, waiting for him to say something, anything, but he didn't. When my teacher appeared on my screen, I set the phone down, giving up all hope of hearing from him. I'd lost him again.
Chapter 23
Sawyer
I read each of her texts, and as bad as I wanted to respond, I didn't. What was the point? She'd just end up telling me to leave her alone again. As hard as I'd tried, she just pushed me away, and I was tired of it. There was already so much fucked up shit in my head. Her accusing me of sucking off of my sister was it for me. I couldn't take another thing, or I was going to snap, so I did the only thing I could think of. I blew her off.
It took all I had not to drop coffee and breakfast off before her class. Would she sit all day without eating? Would she have enough energy to get through her classes? That was the shit going through my head the whole day. Why? I didn't know. I should have
just gone about my day without giving her a second thought just as I was sure she was doing, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to cave and take her lunch, but I didn't. She wanted space. She got it.
“What has your panties in a twist?” I heard my sister ask, as she walked into the kitchen just as I slammed the dishwasher closed.
“Nothing,” I replied louder than I should have. “Sorry.”
“Does this have anything to do with a friend of mine?” she asked.
“Don't worry about it,” I said, as I turned and moved to walk by her.
“Oh, that's not how this works,” she said, as she held her hand up to stop me. “You're my brother, and she's my best friend. I just got you both back. I will not lose either one of you.”
“You're not going to lose anyone,” I said. “Everything is fine.”
“Really?” she asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Then why did I get a text asking if you were okay this morning?” she asked.
“Maybe because her ass crossed a line,” I replied. “The woman thinks she can just spout off and get away with it. Well, that's not how things work. I put up with a lot when it comes to her, but I have my limits, and she stomped all over them.”
“You going to tell me what she did?” Julia asked, and I shook my head. “You're both so damn stubborn. I don't know what you two see in each other.”
“I wonder myself,” I mumbled under my breath.
“I'm guessing you're not picking Ava up today then?” she asked.
“Why wouldn't I?” I asked in return, offended at what she was insinuating.
“Because you and your woman are having a spat,” she said, with a shrug.
“Not my woman,” I growled out. “Don't know what the fuck I was thinking in the first place. I'm picking Ava up. She's my niece, and I will not let her down because Grace is going to be there.”
“Okay,” she said, and as I walked away, I heard her let out a laugh.
“Shit's not funny,” I barked out.
“Says you,” she said. “You two have already been through a lot in your lives. Maybe it's best you're not together.”
“Maybe you're right,” I grumbled under my breath, as I swung the door open and headed out to my bike, yelling back over my shoulder at her. “Going for a ride. I'll be at the school on time.”
As I rode, I took deep breaths in and let them back out again. That was one of the things I'd learned to do to deal with my frustrations. As I headed to my spot, or Grace's if you asked her, it took all I had not to head to a bar, but I knew my niece was counting on me. She didn't judge or hold shit against me. The little girl trusted and loved me. That was one thing I knew I could count on. When I pulled down the road, stopped my bike, and hopped off, I threw my helmet to the ground and let out a yell louder than I had in years. My head fell back, and the fresh air washed over me. I sat against my bike, closed my eyes, and concentrated on the sounds of nature around me. Not for one second did I think my time would be interrupted. Grace had class, so I would definitely be alone, and that was just what I needed.
When the alarm on my phone went off, I opened my eyes, reached down to grab my helmet, and looked around at the trees and up at the clear, beautiful sky. It really was the perfect spot, and it had given me exactly what I'd needed, some calm.
I got on my bike and headed toward Ava's school, knowing that everything was going to be okay. It had to be. There was no other option.
As soon as I walked up the sidewalk and the inseparable Ava and Noah came through the school doors with huge smiles on their adorable little faces, I couldn't help but laugh.
“Can we play?” Ava yelled out, as they ran toward me at full speed.
“Until Noah's mom gets here,” I said. “Then he has to ask her.”
Noah slowed down and waited for me to walk with them to the playground. He knew the drill, and that made me smile wide.
“How was your weekend, Noah?” I asked.
“It was good,” he answered.
“How was your time with your grandparents?” I asked, just as we approached the gate surrounding the play structure and swings.
“It was okay, but I upset grandpa,” he said, as his smile disappeared.
“How could you do that?” I asked, wanting to find a way to put that smile right back on his face. “You're the best.”
“I took one of the motorcycles you got me,” he said, as he shrugged. “When I told him where I got it, he got mad at me and said mean stuff to mommy. Then she got upset too.”
“What did he say?” I asked.
“It was bad,” he said, as he shook his head.
“You can tell me,” I said, as I looked at the sad look on his face.
He motioned for me to come closer, so I leaned down a bit. Then he grabbed my cheeks in his hands and tilted my head.
“He called you a loser,” he whispered.
A loser! I was pissed. Who did that fucker think he was?
“I told him he was wrong. I told him you were nice,” Noah said, as he looked into my eyes.
“You said that?” I asked, as I looked right back into his, totally shocked that he'd done that for me.
“I did,” he said. “Mommy did too, but it didn't matter. He was so mad, and he made her cry. Then we left. It was all my fault.”
“It wasn't your fault, Noah,” I said, as I crouched down in front of him, taking his hands in mine, feeling like the veins in my head were going to blow. “You did nothing wrong, not a single thing. He had no right to say anything that wasn't nice. Do you hear me?”
Noah nodded, and I nodded too.
“Thank you for sticking up for me,” I said. “That was awesome of you.”
“It was?” he asked, as his smile began to come back.
“Yeah, it was!” I said. “You're a good guy, Noah. Don't you ever let anyone make you think you're not.”
“I am?” he asked, as that smile had grown from ear to ear.
“Yeah, you are,” I said. “You're a great friend.”
His little eyes widened, and he wrapped his arms around my neck.
“You're a great friend too.”
“Noah,” Ava snapped out, from the other side of the fence. “Would you come on.”
“Go,” I said, as I let out a laugh. “Don't want to keep the princess waiting.”
Noah burst into laughter and then took off running, laughing the whole way.
I turned around to see Grace getting out of her car and heading our way. With each second that passed, I felt my blood boil more and more. So much for feeling calm. That shit had gone right out the window.
Who did that father of hers think he was? He'd made her cry. Then he'd made Noah feel it was his fault. Fuck that! She had so much on her plate already. She didn't need him making her feel worse, especially not because of me. I'd never done one thing to that man, yet there he was, still condemning me. It made no sense.
I stood with my back against the fence, my arms over my chest, and my hands clenched tight. Noah had defended me, and so had she, only hours after she'd condemned me as well.
“Hey,” she whispered.
As much as I'd planned to not say a damn thing to her, that wasn't going to happen. I wasn't about to ignore what I'd just heard from Noah.
“Hey,” I replied, rougher than I should have.
She stopped in front of me, but she didn't say a word. Instead, she stood there, looking down at her feet, as she kicked at the grass. She looked sad but so damn beautiful. As pissed as she'd made me, I'd never wanted to see her defeated, but she was, and it was all my fault. When I couldn't take watching her like that a single moment longer, I snapped.
“What the fuck happened yesterday?” I growled out.
“Nothing,” she said, as she took a step back. I didn't miss that shit.
“Nothing?” I asked, as I nodded. “You sure about that?”
“Yeah,” she said, as she moved to turn away, but I reached out and grabbed her ar
m, letting her know she wasn't running, not then.
“Talk to me,” I said, giving her a chance to be honest with me.
“Don't worry about it,” she said. “It's not your problem. It's mine.”
“If you don't want me showing up at his door, you will tell me what happened,” I said sternly, as I reached forward and lifted her chin, looking into her eyes, letting her know I meant what I said.
“It didn't go well,” she whispered, as she let out a breath and her shoulders fell.
“Oh, I got that,” I growled out.
“Noah brought one of those damn motorcycles you got him,” she began, and I cut her off.
“He should be able to take a toy when he goes somewhere,” I said, defending Noah.
“I know,” she said. “He said you gave it to him, and let's just say, my dad reminded me that I wasn't the daughter he'd wanted me to be.”
“Grace,” I said sternly.
“It's fine, Sawyer,” she said.
“No, it's not,” I snapped, as I looked into her eyes. “Did he call me a loser?”
“Sawyer,” she said, as her eyes went wide.
“Did he call me a fucking loser?” I let out, as a rumbling noise left my chest.
“Yes,” she whispered, and I could tell it was taking everything in her not to break down.
“Was that all he said?” I asked, not taking my eyes away from hers.
“Sawyer,” she said, moving nervously from foot to foot.
“Was it?” I asked.
“No,” she whispered.
“And he said it all right in front of Noah?” I asked.
“My mom tried to get Noah to go into the other room with her, but he wouldn't leave my side,” she said, as she closed her eyes.
“Open your eyes,” I said, and as soon as she did, a tear slid from one of them and ran down her cheek.
Without thinking, I quickly used my thumb and wiped it away. Then I pulled her in and wrapped my arms around her.
“I'm so sorry,” I said, as I felt her body shake against mine.
“It's not your fault,” she said.
“Doesn't make it right,” I said. “I don't know who he thinks he is, but it is taking everything in me not to drive over there right now and let him know what I think of him.”
A Forever Love, Part 2 Page 10
