by J. K Harper
Next to him, one of the daughters, who was probably around 14, gave Jessie an eager smile. "Is it okay if we go say hi to your baby? What's his name?"
“We won't wake him up," the other one added solemnly, who looked exactly like her sister. Jessie realized they must be twins. "We just want to see him. We love babies."
The mother, Helena, admonished her girls to be more polite, but Jessie shrugged it off with an easy smile. She had to admit that anyone who wanted to look at Grant with such enthusiasm made her more than pleased to show him off. Behind her, Maddy added, "These two young ladies will also make excellent babysitters if you ever need any, Jessie. They sit for every family in town that has little ones. They come as a package deal."
Jessie smiled at the girls, who both sported the piercing green eyes of their mother and the unruly brown hair of their father. "Of course you can see him," she said. "So far, he seems to love meeting everyone here. His name is Grant."
Bubbling out thank yous, the girls darted around the corner of the counter and bent down, very gently pulling back the blanket that covered Grant's little cocooned seat. Jessie looked over and saw him blink his eyes and smile up at the girls. The two of them immediately started making faces at him, oohing and awwing over his soft skin. They definitely seemed comfortable around a baby his age. She glanced at Maddy, then back to the Calhouns. "Why exactly does this town seem so enamored of babies? I mean, I happen to think he's kind of special, but has there been a baby shortage or something?"
There other three laughed, shaking their heads. "Nothing of the sort," Maddy assured her, grabbing some napkins to stick them in the to-go bag she was preparing for another customer. "We're a tight-knit town, and besides." Her voice lowered a bit. "Shifters are not exactly the most common inhabitants of this planet. Every new one, especially ones we didn't know about, is a reason for celebration." She gently squeezed Jessie's arm while the Calhouns smiled at her. "Another cause for celebration is that you're here now. With him, where you belong. No matter what happens.”
She gave Jessie a gentle smile, which the Calhouns clearly caught. It led to a slightly uncomfortable lull in the conversation, oddly punctuated by the cheerful holiday tunes lilting out of the speakers set in the walls and the bursts of happy laughter that dotted the little bakery.
Jessie bit her lip. The elephant in the room, the man who'd had a major bombshell dropped on him and not surprisingly had sped off by himself to deal with the reality of a certain little adorable bouncing baby, was also the subject Jessie was pretty sure everyone in the café as well as the town also knew about by now. Even though it had been just a few days, she knew word got around fast. Livy, who'd still been ticked off at Shane and presumably herself for not realizing before that he was the daddy bear in question, had told Maddy and everyone else at the cookie exchange about the thunderbolt moment of realization at the front door. And they'd all probably told their spouses and siblings and cousins and nieces and nephews and kids and who knew who else.
Jessie didn't begrudge them any of that. They were all Grant's extended family now, too. They just wanted the best for him. This was a different world. Besides, she noted dryly to herself, shifters seemed to like gossip just as much as humans did.
To cover the slight awkwardness, Jessie said to the family, "Let me finish taking your order so you can get on with your day. What can I get for you?" Maddy gave her a relieved little grin as the Calhouns began ordering. Inside, though, Jessie still felt the prickle of oddness. Almost an ache of longing. As she watched the shifter parents finally round up their girls after a last session of cooing and smiling at Grant so they could all grab one of the few remaining free tables, she felt a sudden bite of longing slide through her entire being. They sat there as a family, laughing and talking with the easy familiarity of those who loved and cared for one another.
Wow. Seeing Shane hadn't prepared her for how much it would trigger her desire for exactly that thing. Family. Sure, she and Grant were family, and Livy was practically her family, and the whole town had embraced her anyway. But to have a core family of her own, one that stayed true through thick and thin, was what she really wanted.
And a guy. But not just any guy. Seeing Shane once again had brought a roar of longing through her that she realized had been banked ever since their last encounter with one another. She'd never stopped thinking about him anyway, Grant's existence notwithstanding. Shane had walked into her heart during those three days of passion they spent together, and now that she'd unexpectedly found him again, that same heart was dancing with an utterly ridiculous hope and joy. The heart that had wondered about him for months after their magical weekend together.
Magical, and pretty dirty, too, she remembered with a blast of heat in her cheeks. He'd fit her just perfectly and revved her motor like crazy. No wonder she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him. If only...
"No. That's just getting mixed up with sugarplums," she muttered to herself, trying to talk some sense into her girlish fantasies that were getting tripped up by all the holiday jingles and seasonal delight with which she'd been filling her days.
Maddy shot her a startled look, busy back over at the griddle preparing one of the simple breakfasts they offered. Jessie shook her head. "Nothing. Just thinking out loud to myself."
With a smile, Maddy said, “As long as you don't go off your rocker, girl, you can think out loud all you want.”
Jessie sighed as she began fixing more holiday drinks. "I'm not going to go off my rocker. I'm just trying to make sense of everything without it all turning into gigantic mush in my brain."
Maddy's expression softened even more. "Jessie,” she said in a kind tone, "honestly, from my perspective there are only two things that have to happen right now. One, just give him more time, as well as yourself. You've both had a shock. I'm sure he's out there with the same kinds of things running through his head right now, too."
“Agreed,” Jessie murmured.
"And two," Maddy continued, "you need to decide this: what is it that you really want? In your heart of hearts. Be really clear about that, and I think it will help you find some peace."
"Sure hope so." Jessie's eyes yet again snagged on the Calhoun family. The immense pride on Bain Calhoun's face as he sat with his little family unit once again struck in her a sharp longing to experience that sort of sweet closeness for herself.
With Shane. Who, she had to admit if she was going to be utterly blunt with herself, was a lot more than just the guy who was the father of her child, no matter how important that was in itself. He was more than the mystery that had dogged her for nearly two years now. He was more than the memory of three days so unforgettable that she would always have thought of him with a smile anyway. No, she had to admit that Shane's importance to her had to do with something she'd never before in her life experienced, not even with her long-ago boyfriend of several years, or any of the guys she'd ever gone out on a date with in hopes of finding that spark she didn't actually believe existed.
She'd fallen in love with Shane Maverick Walker during those three magical days.
So deeply, in fact, that it had about shattered her when they parted ways without exchanging any sort of contact information. Even though now she tried telling herself she'd only fallen in love with a fantasy, because of three days of totally amazeballs sex, because of the lifelong loneliness that she simply wanted to be filled, she understood the truth after the wild flare of emotion burst out of her chest after seeing him the other day.
She was still totally in love with him. Which was very likely the stupidest, most heartbreakingly pathetic schoolgirl daydream she could think of.
Pasting cheer back onto her face, she shoved her thoughts of Shane Walker to the back of her mind for the moment. She had work to do, and a little boy to take care of. For right now, it had to be enough.
At the end of her shift in the late afternoon, Jessie collected Grant and walked back next door to her little apartment. Though the place ha
d felt like the perfect little home yesterday, now it felt strangely lacking. As if something very important were missing. Fluttering out a little sigh, she glanced down at Grant's face in his carrier and smiled at him with deliberate cheer. “It's still our place, little man. Just you and me, and that's just fine.”
Grant yawned up at her, his face scrunching up in the most adorable manner. Her smile melted into a more real one as she headed around the corner of the bakery and up the walkway to her front door.
And right smack into one hella sexy mountain of a bear shifter man who stood there waiting for her and his son.
4
Shane paused at the edge of the clearing, lifting his massive snout and sniffing. Was that—? Did he smell—? Oh, yeah, he did. Beef stew. Delicious hints of spices, veggies, potatoes. Crisp, fried, buttered russet potatoes if he wasn't mistaken.
Lunch was being served. Just in time. He'd raged around the forest long enough, having his bear-sized crisis. It was time to man up. But starting with a full stomach could only help.
Dropping back to all fours, he loped to the back of the main lodge building at the edge of the clearing, shifting from his enormous grizzly form back into human form in the space of a few strides. As he let himself in the back door, he paused to shake his head and entire body to dislodge the last of the snowflakes that covered him from having run too close under a tree branch covered with the stuff. Kicking the door shut behind him, he went to a row of little cubby boxes set into the wall of the mud room. The one marked Shane held an abundance of folded, clean-smelling clothes. Appreciative, he tugged out a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved blue and black checked flannel shirt, pulled them on, and padded barefoot down the hallway, up the few stairs to the main floor, and into the kitchen of the lodge. Elodie Walker stood there, quiet and calm as always. Matriarch of the local Walker clan, she was also his aunt and the reason he was in Deep Hollow in the first place. She and his uncle knew about his wild past, his old way of life. They were the only ones here who did. They'd been willing to give him a chance to start over, with the slate of his past wiped clean.
Two places were set at the large kitchen island. Decorated to the holiday nines with wreaths and tinsel all over the place just like the entire Silvertip Lodge, the kitchen smelled like a giant vat of spiced cider along with the stew. Not turning around from the stove where she ladled the aromatic beef stew into two enormous bowls, his aunt said, "You're right on time. The bread is almost finished baking, I just put the potatoes out, and there are little cherry tartlets that will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Have a seat."
Shane shook his head, grinning as he pulled out one of the stools around the kitchen island. He'd been here for a year and still could hardly get used to having such an abundance of food, love, and consideration at his disposal any time he wanted to walk into this house. "You're amazing, Aunt Elodie. Uncle Oberon hit the jackpot with you. I hope he appreciates that."
Elodie turned around from the stove, carrying a large blue ceramic soup bowl over and setting it onto the place setting in front of him. The smell of her amazing beef stew hit him even harder. He swallowed hard to keep himself from drooling. He might not have grown up with manners, he might've chosen a hardscrabble life until recently, but he wasn't about to be a total cave bear in her house. But she must've somehow been able to sense it. She laughed gently, urging him, "Go on, just tuck in. I'd rather you enjoy it while everything's still hot and fresh."
“Thanks. I'm pretty hungry." He lifted a spoonful of soup to his lips, taking a generous sip and groaning with delight. "No wonder guests come back to stay here again and again," he said after he politely swallowed. "They’re treated like kings and queens with every meal."
Returning with her own bowl of soup, Elodie settled onto her own stool with a pleased smile. "I just like taking care of everyone. Guests, of course. Yes. But especially," and she reached out a gentle hand to pat the back of his hand, "family. When my family needs to be taken care of, I like to give them good, nourishing food."
They ate in companionable silence for a while, although Shane's thoughts turned and rumbled and twisted. Yeah, his Aunt Elodie knew he was going through some shit right now. After seeing Jessie and Grant the other day, Shane had run straight to the woods, changing into his huge brute of a bear in a painful forced shift almost in the middle of Main Street. Then he’d blindly run up the mountain and stayed out all night.
And all the next day.
And all the next night.
Plain and simple, he'd run away from Jessie and the kid, but he'd had to. He'd been so shaken, his bear so ready to blindly slash and burn, he didn't know what else to do in the moment. His old way of being, the way of the cunning street fighter and angry brawler and pure survivalist, emerged so quickly in reflexive self-protection he hadn't even been able to control his own shift. Just the memory of that made him wince.
At least this morning he'd finally woken up realizing he'd attacked all the trees, tramped all the trails, and picked all the raging mock air fights with fiercely scolding birds that he possibly could. His bear was physically spent and emotionally way more settled. He was also hungry as hell, since he'd not found much to snack on in the wintry woods while he wrestled his demons. Whatever the hell those demons were. But at least he'd finally been able to shift back to human just now.
How Elodie had known to expect him was beyond his understanding, but she seemed to have an uncanny sense about every member of her family, even someone like Shane. He wasn't her direct blood relation, since her husband, Oberon Walker, was Shane's father's brother. But that didn't matter. Somehow, Elodie was attuned to the feelings and needs of the whole Walker family, from her sons to nephews to those even more removed.
Shane shrugged to himself. The was little sense in trying to understand it. For the moment, he was just grateful that he had a delicious meal to help settle him after the mass chaos his life abruptly had become.
"So tell me," Elodie began. She gently folded her hands under her chin.
Despite himself, Shane tensed slightly in anticipation of her question. Instead, she asked, "Is there anything we need to tack onto the supply order for spring? I was going over the budget last night and just want to see where we are with the latest numbers to make sure we're not going over."
Shane relaxed. The Silvertip Lodge, the one his aunt and uncle ran and at which he helped out as a handyman when needed, was gearing up to build several more cabins this spring to be ready for people to stay in by late next summer or early fall. One of Shane's duties had been to help out with the custom orders, which was why he'd been gone for the past few weeks. He'd traveled to Denver to meet with some of the suppliers they worked with, going over the specifics of what was needed. The lodge was a cozy place, but a top-notch one. They didn't skimp on anything. Exacting attention to detail was something the craftsmen in the city were held to when fulfilling orders that couldn't be taken care of locally. Shane had traveled there to make sure the specifications were clear and the details understood.
He'd stayed at the same hotel where he and Jessie had holed up for three days. Hoping against completely insane hope that somehow, he'd miraculously see her again. Not in his dumbest dreams would he ever have imagined finding her right here in Deep Hollow. Where apparently she'd been while he was back in Denver, thinking about her.
The craziness of it all made his brain hurt.
"We just need a few more things," he answered Elodie, then went on to list them. They casually stayed on that topic for the next little while, all the way through finishing their lunch and diving into the tart little cherry pies straight from the oven served with warm cream.
Frigging delicious.
Finally, empty pie plate pushed away and sipping on his third huge glass of water to help him rehydrate after his snowy rampage through what felt like half of the San Juan Mountains, Shane took a breath. It was time to face reality.
Looking at Elodie, who regarded him back with a serious yet encourag
ing expression as she waited for him to speak, Shane said in low voice, "What happened is exactly why this won't work."
"Why what won't work?" The words were very gentle. Neither censure or sharpness underlay them.
"Me. Jessie. I mean, there's a—a kid. I'm a father, Aunt Elodie." He shook his head at his aunt, feeling that truth slap into him again. A father. “Just the thought of it freaked me out so badly my bear wanted to react by ripping something apart. I was furious.” Shame rose in him at the memory. “I was about to shift into my bear right there in the middle of town and—and I don't even know what. Go berserk."
"Shane, it was an enormous shock.” She smiled in gentle understanding. “Nobody thinks less of you for having left. Everyone knew you would be back to man up about it."
“Everyone except Jessie.” Shame leaked through his words. He shoved his hand through his hair, pressing his head into his palm for a second and closing his eyes. "Any other shifter in this town would be psyched beyond belief to find out he had a kid he didn't know about. But I don't feel excited about it." He opened his eyes again, feeling the bleakness behind them. Even though he had grown up without his aunt's gentle presence in his life, he'd come to trust her so much during the past year, knowing she would never blab his secrets and was always there to provide very wise counsel, that he let his guard down around her more than anyone else in Deep Hollow or Silvertip Ridge. "I'm absolutely terrified."
Her face still soft and understanding, Elodie quietly asked, "Of what?"
During the silence as Shane hesitated before answering, the large grandfather clock in the Walkers' living room boomed out twice, signaling the mid-afternoon time. Jessie and Grant had appeared in Shane's life forty-eight hours earlier. Two days in which his life had been tossed into a blender, turned on high, and shredded completely.
