by J. K Harper
His only real fear, the one tucked deep inside him in the form of the bear that was calmer but still uncertain, was that maybe he couldn't actually be the strength and honor that she deserved. That maybe he was still too fucked up by the way in which he had failed his friends on the mountain to be the man that she needed.
Fuck. No. She deserved more, and he would have to find a way to give that to her. He squared his shoulders and threw off the feeling of lack. Fuck that.
As he got into his truck and headed across town to his own place, he set his jaw and vowed one thing. He was done letting his old shit rule him. He'd fight to be worthy of Haley's love, and he wouldn't allow himself to get in his own damned way.
They were both worth it.
12
Haley watched, wide-eyed, as Cortez whacked the sink pipe one last time with his hand. "Take that, asshole,” he muttered, clearly at the end of his rope.
She couldn't help the little burst of laughter that just snorted out of her. When Cortez turned and gave her a mock glare, she covered her mouth, but more laughter spluttered through her fingertips until she was helplessly consumed by it, clutching her stomach and trying to stop it without success.
Cortez sighed and looked back at the sink. "Round two. Sink pipe: one. Cortez: zero. Shit, you'd think I could figure this out. But I'm better at building the actual house than playing plumber. I should ask Beckett if he'll take a look at it," he added in a grumbling voice. "He knows how to sweet talk stubborn old things."
Haley laughed again from her seat leaning against the hallway across from the upstairs bathroom in the house. Cortez had taken it as a challenge to do battle with the leaking pipe that had acted up again. "I think he's busy sweet talking Pix tonight. Don't think he'll come over here anytime soon." She was so pleased for her friend that things might be working out with Beckett after all. She'd found out from Cortez that he was actually a pretty cool guy.
Cortez looked at her speculatively for another moment. "Why didn't you tell me about her? That she's a dragon shifter." He didn't sound annoyed, just genuinely curious. Beckett had told him about Pix's secret, which had been behind her tears the other night. Haley had actually felt relieved that she didn't have to keep that secret from Cortez any longer. She didn't want to keep anything from him.
She shrugged back, still smiling. He looked so good holding the wrench, being all sexy mister fix-it. So hot and rugged, clad in jeans and a white T-shirt, his muscles bulging everywhere. She enjoyed that he liked to work with his hands. The thought made her shiver in anticipation before she answered. "It was her story. She's always asked me not to tell people that she's a dragon, so I never have. Not even my family, not even my ex. I'm glad she and Beckett got things figured out. Pix really loves being her dragon. She just doesn't love the dragon shifter society part of things.” Haley frowned, knowing how restrictive that upbringing had been for carefree Pix. The she smiled. “It's so amazing when she flies. I always love watching it."
Cortez sat back on his bare heels, balancing his arms on his knees. "I thought dragon flight was invisible to humans. That's how dragon shifters managed to survive without detection. But you can really see her in that form?"
Haley nodded. "Yes, because certain humans can see them. Pix and I became friends at such a young age that we developed a close bond. She explained to me when she got older and she could understand it that the barriers that shield most dragon shifters from human eyes don't exist when there's a special connection between a human and a dragon shifter. So I can see all dragons now." She laughed at a sudden memory. "When we were kids, I always used to ask if she'd turn me into a dragon."
Cortez gave her another speculative look. "What did she say?"
"That dragon shifters are only born. They can't be made, like other shifter types can." Like bears, she thought, looking at the bear she could see somewhere deep in his golden-brown eyes.
"Huh. Never thought much about it. I don't know many dragon shifters. We've got one guy who lives here in town, but he really keeps to himself. And of course some of them come stay at the lodge, but that's about it. They're pretty different than most other shifter types. They have their own rules."
Haley nodded. "Those kind of differences are exactly why Pix distanced herself from the dragon shifter world. She loves being a dragon, but she never liked to live by all their rules." She flicked up an eyebrow at Cortez. "So is it just a fun thing for Beckett, with her? Or is it more?"
Cortez shrugged again, but a smile ticked up his mouth. "Beckett's reputation with women in town is not for being long-term. But when I ran into him at the store earlier today, I have to tell you he's never behaved like that before. Going back in there to buy a girl flowers." Cortez made a tsk-ing sound. "He's gone and lost his damn mind." But he still grinned. Aha. He was messing with her.
Haley grinned back and threw the closest thing she had at him, which happened to be a sock. He held up his hands in defense, ducking. "Don't you pitch your nasty socks at me, woman. That's some dirty pool."
She laughed with him. God, how she loved this. Just a simple, totally unromantic moment. Sitting on the floor and watching a man fix a sink. But they'd just had the best day together. This morning, Beckett had come by, apologized to Pix, and invited her out to dinner. Assured by her strong, level-headed friend that she would be just fine, Haley had left her to spend the day with Cortez as planned. He took her snowshoeing, and they had snowball fights, and he showed her all the cool little trails around the lodge. They had a picnic lunch. And with each moment she spent with him, she fell more head over heels with what an honorable, genuinely decent human being he was. Uh, shifter. Most of all though, she just liked him. A lot. Totally a lot.
Standing up, mock defensively kicking her sock back at her, Cortez washed his hands at the sink, dried them carefully on a towel, and looked at her. "Well, woman. We spent all day today together. Then you made me a damn good dinner. Then I fixed this damn sink. Again. Got anything in your bedroom that needs fixing?" Slowly, with purpose, he padded toward her.
All her laughter left as quickly as it had arrived. Haley stared, her breath caught in her throat and delicious tingles spreading through her, as her sexy mountain man came toward her. He reached a hand down to her, which she grabbed. He hauled her up so easily, like she was lighter than a feather. So damn big, so damn strong, so damn protective and gentle. She felt safer than anything with him. "There might be," she whispered, watching as his eyes brightened. "This way."
Her fingers still wrapped in his, she turned and led him down the hallway to her room. The second they entered it, he turned back around and pulled her into his arms, and abruptly hoisted her up just like he had the other day on the bridge. She squealed like a girl, not even caring, since it felt so dang good because suddenly her pelvis was pressed right into his. He had a huge, rock-hard erection. Her breathing immediately hitched and got uneven as he strode toward her bed. Then he stopped, looking into her eyes as a devilish little grin came onto his face.
"What are you planning?" she asked, as all the blood in her body seemed to rush to her clit. It got deliciously heavy just from his hungry expression.
"That I need to slide my dick into that sweet, soft pussy of yours right this second, Haley. That I want to see you come hard and fast for me.”
Holy. Shit. Now mute, her voice strangling in her throat, chest heaving as her breath gasped, she just nodded. He turned and walked them right over to the wall, pressing her back against it and reaching down to urgently unsnap her jeans. He set her down for mere seconds so he could push both the jeans and her panties off her, then hoisted her back up again, totally naked from the waist down.
Her fingers shaking, she reached down to pull up the back of his shirt, trying to push down his jeans at the same time.
"Undo them first, woman," he muttered, his hands going down to unbutton them and yank them off. He kicked them aside. Carefully, he slipped a finger into her. She gasped, hard, as his fingers found the slick
wetness that had begun the second he looked at her in the hall and she knew what he was planning. "Ah, babe." His voice sounded half strangled, too.
Without warning, without preamble, he slid into her, his mouth urgently seeking and finding hers at the same time. She gasped against his lips as he slid in, then back out, then in a few more inches. Back out, and back in all the way, stretching her, filling her.
"Hard and fast," she gasped against him. She'd been aching for him since they'd been interrupted last night and had felt turned on all day. Clearly, so had he. He nodded against her, slamming into her. She grabbed for the back of his neck, his shoulders, and held on, her entire body sizzling with heat at their frantic, wild movements. Deep and long, he thrust into her, bringing her already primed body closer to the edge. She grabbed onto the back of his hair, digging her fingernails in, her legs wrapped tight around him as he bucked into her again and again.
Harder and faster, her head even smacked the wall behind her but she didn't care, their tongues tangling and teeth scraping as he fucked her with a savage intensity she matched stroke for stroke. The denial of the night before, the all day long foreplay of simply being in one another's presence, tipped her right at the edge of the sweet abyss in just a few moments. She trembled as he slid into her again, then the orgasm exploded around her, taking her by surprise as it roared in with blistering hot white heat. Her mouth opened in a soundless cry as the waves shattered through her over and over, in time with Cortez pounding against her and the sound of his own deep groan beginning to break out of his throat. He slammed into her again, so deep, so hard, then cried out with her as he released deep inside her, his hard shaft throbbing and spurting wet heat into her. So good, so good, she couldn't think. Didn't want to. Just enjoyed the blaze of sensation, knowing that he shared it with her at the same time. Together. This man, this amazing man. Hers.
Heartbeat thudding inside her, little black pinpoints around the edges of her vision, her hips slick and sweaty from where she and Cortez slid against each other, Haley slowly relaxed. Cortez gently slowed, a softness in his eyes and around his mouth telling her how good it had been for him. How happy he was right now. She knew her own wide grin matched his. They spent a moment just looking at each other, smiling like fools, until she giggled again. He kissed her on the tail end of it, slow and long and scorching with passion still.
This time, when he pulled back from her, his eyes were serious. His voice was quiet but clear when he said, "Haley. I want to be a better man for you." He snorted out a laugh, rolled his eyes up to the ceiling for a second. But when he looked back at her again, she saw tentative hope there. "It sounds so stupid and cheesy. Like it's just from some movie."
"Hey," she whispered. He looked back at her. "I'll out-cheese you. You're the best man I've ever met in my life." Her voice shook with the emotion, the prickling in her eyes stronger. The next words just popped out of her, easy and natural and true. "I love you, Cortez."
He froze, and for a second her heart plummeted. Then he said very cautiously, "You mean that?" More soft hope stole through his words. Her heart ached for the caution in him, even as it exploded with joy that he wanted her to say yes.
She nodded so hard she almost slipped right off of him. "Yes. The same thing happened to my parents. They knew, literally from the very first date they ever had, that they were meant for each other. So I grew up knowing that love at first sight does actually exist. It's real. I thought I had it with Justin—”
"Woman, don't ever say his name again. Especially not when I'm still inside you." Though his words were deadly serious, half his mouth was a lopsided grin.
She laughed through the happy tears and nodded. "That is definitely something I can easily do. What I was going to say was, I didn't understand what love could really be like until right now. With you."
The words floated between them. He looked at her, stroked her cheek with one thumb, his expression the most awestruck one she'd ever seen, especially on a man as big and bold as him. It was like she had just given him the most important gift in the entire world, and he was bowled right over.
Quietly, yet filled with emotion, he said the words right back to her, each one of them ringing with a strength of certainty that shook her to her toes. "I love you too, Haley. This is real."
Then he kissed her again, and again, until the passion rose once more and they rocked back into it, together.
13
Haley rolled over and blinked open her eyes when the smell of coffee hit her. Reaching up to scrub at her face, she squinted to focus in front of her. Cortez gently set down a steaming hot mug of the delicious stuff on the little stand beside the bed, smiling when he saw her open eyes.
"Good morning. Thought I'd bring you some coffee in bed to kickstart your day off right before I have to head up to the lodge."
Her heart melted and then seemed to expand, filling her chest with a good, happy feeling. She struggled to sit up in the bed. "You made me coffee first thing in the morning? You're the best bear shifter I've ever met." He huffed out a light chuckle, sitting on the bed next to her and stretching his arm out to stroke from her shoulder down to her hip. But the smile on his mouth didn't reach his eyes. She frowned. "Is something wrong?"
He paused long enough that she became alarmed. Finally he said in a clipped voice, "Quentin texted me this morning. There've been complaints. He wants to see me right now to talk about it."
She stared at him blankly. "Complaints? About what?" Another short pause, then it hit her. "Wait. You mean complaints about you? From guests?"
He gave a curt nod. His fingers were still gently stroking over her hip, solid and warm, but she sensed he wasn't completely present. "That's ridiculous.” Her voice barked out in disbelief. “How can anyone complain about you?"
He shook his head, jaw tight. "I honestly don't know. All the guests from the reunion last week thought I did great. They said they had a wonderful time on each trip we did." He took a breath before he added, “And…"
He broke off again, his jaw so tight now it must be painful. Haley could see how hard it was for him to admit all this to her. To admit he was imperfect. It softened her and broke her at the same time. She knew imperfect pretty damn well herself. She firmly put her hand over his, squeezing hard, not letting go. He looked at her, squeezed back. "And?" she prompted quietly but encouragingly.
Deep inhale. "And I also got a text from one of the guys on the search and rescue team. He told me that Tim—Tim's one of the guys who was in the avalanche. He's been in a coma in a hospital in Denver ever since.” Cortez’s tone was flat. “Anyway, Tim is probably being taken off life support later today. The doctors say all the signs indicate there's no coming back for him."
As he spoke, Cortez restlessly began tapping his fingers on Haley's hip beneath her hand, not even seeming to notice he was doing it. She instantly recognized it for what it was. It was hard, so hard for him to express how upset he must be about this, so while saying something he really didn't want to say, he got the trapped emotions out through some sort of movement. She knew because she did the exact same thing herself. Sometimes, things were just really hard to express.
"Hey." She reached out her other hand to turn his face to her, while also trying to scoot her body down to get close enough to give him a hug. But he stopped her. Gently, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and leaned in to give her a kiss.
It was a soft, warm, lingering kiss, but she still could sense the distance in him. She knew it wasn't because of her, but she ached inside anyway. They'd had such a beautiful high last night. For it to come crashing down like this must be killing him. She kissed him back with all she had, wishing she could just bag everything and go with him up to the lodge. But he wouldn't want that anyway. He wouldn't want her there hearing from Quentin about how he'd screwed something up. Again.
She kissed him with all the soft strength she could, holding onto him until he pulled away to stand up. She held his hand as long as she could,
not wanting to let him go, until he gently pulled it out of her grasp and went to the door. "I believe in you," slipped out of her mouth before she knew what she would say.
His shoulders stiffened, but he immediately swung back around to look at her. His jaw was still tight but his eyes were soft. So soft, and wondering as he looked at her. "Thank you," he said, his voice just as quiet as hers. "I'll call you later. Kick some ass on your book today, okay?"
She nodded and managed to smile, though she didn't dare open her mouth again. She was afraid she'd just start crying. Seeing such a strong, powerful man hurting so badly was painful enough. Seeing it when it was her man was almost devastating. Dammit, she wanted to save him from this.
After he left, she sat in the bed for a long time, her thoughts going every which direction in a maddening whirl. Finally she reached over and grabbed the coffee, which was now just warm instead of piping hot. It was still yummy, though. Sweet, amazing man, doing such a simple yet thoughtful thing for her. Naturally, her ex had never done any such thing for her. But Cortez? He would hitch a star and pull it down to earth for her, without her even asking for something crazy like that. She knew in her bones he'd do anything for her. They'd opened up to one another, let one another in, and said yes to love. Haley was completely and absolutely excited about life, her book was going well, she had faith in herself, and everything felt wonderful.
But right now it was impossible to enjoy any of it when the man she loved was hurting so badly, and there was not a single thing she could do about it.
14
Haley stared at her computer, her mind as blank as the screen. The words would barely come today. She was a professional writer, she knew how to write through crappy days, illness, a thousand interruptions. So she had gotten some writing done. But it wasn't nearly as much as she'd planned, and it sure wasn't as good.
