by K. B. Draper
“You okay?” Ashlyn asked, after watching me take a good fifteen or so unfulfilling laps around the small room.
“My great-times-three-grandma was Norm’s twin sister,” I muttered.
“Yeah. And she was the first Hoyo Abi. Which means you are—”
I waved off the idea. “I don’t want to say anything to anyone,” I interrupted.
“Okay,” Ashlyn agreed.
“I just need some time to absorb it all.”
“That’s understandable.”
I stopped and spun on her. “Why don’t you think Danny or Grand ever told me about this?”
“Maybe they didn’t know. It’s been a long time, so maybe the story got lost or the elders didn’t pass it on to protect her or, well, you ultimately, I guess.”
“Maybe.”
“They wouldn’t have lied to you,” Ashlyn said.
“I know. But keeping things from me is the same as lying and keeping things from me seems to be going around a lot these days.”
“If they did, which I don’t think is the case, they would’ve done it thinking that it would protect you in some way.”
I knew she was right, but I wasn’t in the mood to be 100 percent reasonable. “I wanna move. Let’s get everyone packed up,” I said, already pulling out my phone to text the rest of the crew. “Wheels up in ten.”
Ashlyn stood, coming to wrap her arms around me, knowing that was what I needed more than any “what ifs” at the moment.
I got a “meet you in the parking lot” text in reply from Sammy. The kissy face emoji from Michael. Then the winky face a second later. A beat after that, the merman emoji. Who knew there was such a thing, but yeah.
“What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asked, at my scrunched-up face. “Everyone okay?”
“I think Michael is either having a stroke or he wants to get funky with a dude wearing a tuna suit and impressive lung capacity.”
“What?” Ashlyn plucked my phone from my hand.
“Exactly. I’ll grab our stuff.” I left the emoji mystery to her, choosing instead to grab the letters and knife, boxing them all back up and packing them away in my bag.
“I’ll meet you out there. I’m going to go help him with Six and Apoc.”
I was butt to bumper, enjoying the sunshine on my face and absolutely not thinking about the WTF Ancestry.com lesson I’d just learned when I heard soft whispers coming from my left. Sammy and Ariel came around the corner of the motel and into view a few steps later. Ariel had one hand wrapped around Sammy’s, the other wrapped around a cup of what I assumed was coffee, as it was identical to the one Ashlyn had brought me earlier, and the smell of all that roasted goodness made my patellas go a little wobbly, as mine had gone cold on the bedside table.
“Good afternoon,” Ariel said as they got closer. “I hope you got some rest.”
My shoulder lifted up and down a smidge. “I’m good.”
“Ashlyn said you would be better if we got you this,” she said as she handed me the cup.
“Oh thank you, Jesus.”
“I’m sure he’d appreciate the sentiment, but fun fact: coffee isn’t his thing.”
“One of those metrosexual tea guys then?” I asked, as the first sip of coffee electrified my insides.
Ariel laughed. “He is quite the character. I think you two will become fast friends.”
“Not too fast I hope.”
Six came bounding out of the open motel door in supersize form, Apoc riding cowboy on his back. Michael came running after them both, “Six, no. Apoc, no. Playtime is over. Bad dog.” He leapt the row of shrubs, not as gracefully as Six had, but I still gave him a 7.1 for effort. “Bad son.”
I handed Ariel back my coffee as I took one step to my left and hooked Apoc just above his Underoos with my arm, as he and Six passed. “Hey there, Wyatt Earp.”
Apoc laughed as he swooshed my cheeks with both chubby hands, then added a raspberry to the right one for good measure. “Wow.” I wiped at my cheek. “Thank you so much for the slobbery, sticky goodness.” I smelled my hand. “Pancakes?”
“Pancakes. Pancakes,” he repeated, sticky hand claps accentuating every syllable.
I looked around Apoc to Michael, who had slowed his pace once he saw I had his son. “I thought we talked about over-sugaring the magical munchkin?”
“Yeah, I know. I had cereal, banana, and a yogurt prepared. When I came back out of the bathroom with a wet washcloth to get the yogurt out of the carpet …” He pointed between Apoc and Six, who was now solo and doing donuts in the small green space behind the Chevon station. “They were sharing a stack of them.” He pointed back toward the room. “It’s like a syrup crime scene in there.”
Ariel offered to retrieve Six while I took the wet cloth Michael was still holding. “Go take care of that. I’ve got him.” I set Apoc in the back of Woody so I could clean his hands and face … and oddly his left big toe. And right ear. And yeah, I was going to need another washcloth. “I’m going to guess that Six has syrup in his fur, too?” I asked, as I made a futile attempt to wipe down the strands of Apoc’s hair, which were currently sticking out in a clustered spike of blond goo.
“Six. My puppy,” Apoc announced.
“Oh yeah? I kind of thought he was my puppy. I mean, I was the one that went down to bad town and picked him out.”
Apoc poked his own chest. “Got me from bad town. I’m your puppy. Got Daddy from bad town. Daddy’s your puppy.” Geez, overnight this kid had added to his vocab. I smiled even though my heartstrings were maypoling themselves in a crossed-up mess of emotions. “No, your daddy is my friend. And you,” I poked him in his little chest and added a tickle. “You’re my very favorite dude.”
“Your dude,” he repeated.
“My dude,” I agreed, taking another swipe at a spot of syrup before picking him back up and swirling him around.
“They are lucky to have you,” Sammy said.
“I feel kind of the opposite,” I said, giving Apoc another trip around. I’d never really pictured myself with a 24/7 kid. I mean I loved munchkins and all, but aunt responsibilities were as deep state as I’d ever really wanted to go. But hey, life happens and here we are. And I wouldn’t change it.
“He’s special,” Sammy stated. “His birth has long been told. Some consider him the next savior. Others fear he’s a destroyer.”
“And you?” I asked, questioning for the first time Sammy’s easy reentry into our lives.
At my shaded tone, Sammy’s eyes lifted from Apoc to mine, and I saw my answer before hearing his words. “I think he is a child. I think, like every child, he should be protected. And that is what I promise to do.”
I gave him a swift nod as Apoc leaned toward him throwing him his “grabby grabby” gang sign. Sammy smiled, instinctively reaching for him and then paused, pulling back. “He’s cool. I’m cool,” I replied, handing Apoc over to him.
A wide smile broke across Sammy’s face as he took him. They walked around in circles for a bit before Apoc saw something interesting across the parking lot, and they walked off to investigate.
Ariel came back with Six, watching her husband in deep conversation with Apoc as they crossed the blacktop. “He wants children. Seven was his first suggestion. I countered with two. We’re still in negotiations.”
“Me and my v-jay jay wish you well with that.”
Ariel laughed. “You and Ashlyn don’t want children?”
I opened my mouth, remembered the conversation at the lunch with my father, and closed it.
“Me and my v-jay jay wish you well with that,” she repeated, a little too triumphantly for my taste.
“My v-jay jay says that ain’t going to happen,” I announced to her retreating back.
“I’m sure I need context to understand that statement,” Ashlyn said, coming up alongside me.
I turned to her. “If we’re doing the kid thing, you’re doing the Easy Bake oven part, right? Because I don’t wanna do the …” I did a ca
tching a watermelon falling out of my vagina thing with my hands. “That’s all you.”
She handed me Apoc’s bag. “Why don’t we save the world, take a vacation, and then maybe talk about the rest?”
“Deal.”
Michael came around the other side of Woody with Six’s bag. Yes, Six has his own bag. It was the result of him throwing a big pouty fit outside of a Walmart in Worcester. Trust me, it was easier this way.
“We ready?” Sammy asked, walking back with Apoc and handing him off to his father.
“Ready,” I answered, leaving “ish” off the comment.
Chapter 16
It was a silent ride if you could white noise the conversations that Apoc and Six were sharing. Apoc and Michael. Apoc and his Cheerios. Apoc and the cows we passed. Apoc and his seat belt. Apoc and … well, you get it.
We talked to Danny and Mia, but there was something going on there. Danny was doing his ramble-talk thing. And Danny only rambled when he was hiding something. Oh the rambles he rambled when he went and saw Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 without me. Which meant he either had some serious spoiler alerts about the upcoming throwdown or he was dirtying the sheets with Mia. Or both. Probably both.
“Danny was awfully … chatty,” Ashlyn said, after we’d hung up.
“He and Mia are getting jiggy with it,” I paused. “And he’s up to something.”
“Jiggy. JigGGgy! Jiggy.” Apoc sang.
“AJ,” Michael scolded.
“Hey, not my fault the human Dictaphone is cracked out on a syrup high.”
“Cracked out,” Apoc repeated.
“Plus, I said jiggy.”
“Jiggy,” Apoc repeated.
“It’s innocent enough, like say …” I paused, and Ashlyn groaned. Seriously, she acts like she knows me or something. “Horizontal hokey pokey.”
Apoc slaughtered horizontal, but ended strong, yelling “hokey pokey!”
“Or adding the banana to the fruit salad.”
“BannaNNaa.”
“Pickle tickle.”
“Tickle!” Apoc set off on a fit of laughter.
“Okay, I think we’re good now.” Ashlyn interrupted our game.
“Pogo stick party,” I added. She lifted an eyebrow. “Take a ride on the Zambezi Zing-her.”
“Good grief.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Now I’m hoping for the apocalypse to start just so we can end this conversation.”
I reached for her hand, giving it a quick double squeeze so she’d look at me. “Love?”
“No.”
“What? You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”
She turned from the window to search my face. “Make a run through the Bumpin’ Donuts drive-thru.”
I gasped. “Ashlyn, not in front of the kid.” Who FYI immediately began singing Bumpin’ Donuts on repeat in the background. “I’m totally down by the way, but that is not what I was going to say.”
Ashlyn groaned. “Fine, what were you going to say?”
“I was going to ask if you wanted me to take exit 69?” I got a shoulder punch as an answer. “Ouch! Geez. That was a serious question.” I pointed out the front window at the road sign coming at us displaying the exit number.
Ashlyn groaned. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Oh, look, there also happens to be a Dunkin’ Donuts. I could go for a donut. Or two. You?”
Apoc’s singing went up a decibel, “Bumkin Dohnots! Bumkin Dohnots! I want Bumkin Dohnots.”
I tsked at Ashlyn. “And you think I’m the bad influence. Pssht.”
I pulled into the gas station across from the DD. Michael jumped out and came around to grab Apoc, who was still going with his new two-word song.
We all stood watching the two-man parade until they disappeared into the store. Ariel came to stand next to us. “Was he singing …”
“Yes. And it’s all Ashlyn’s fault. Serious potty mouth on that one,” I said, thumbing it at Ashlyn as I passed her.
Danny’s number came up on my phone around the nine gallons down mark. “If you freaking say we’re about to have another gas station scene, I’m legit going to buy one of those cars that run on French fry grease,” I said in greeting.
“Orrrr you could just eat fries in a Tesla Roadster, which can do six hundred miles on a single charge and go one to sixty in 1.9 seconds, 200-plus miles per hour,” Mia said.
“Never mind, I choose that,” I agreed.
“Good choice.”
“You’re using Danny’s phone? Things sound serious.”
“Is that your gauge? That I’m using his phone, not the fact that we had the hottest, sexiest, sweatiest sex I’ve ever had in my life last night? And for reference that’s saying something because I once did it with a cowboy on the back of a mechanical bull after they shut off the industrial fan and closed the tent flaps.”
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t. You hate the sexy visuals that are now playing in your head.”
“Anywho, did you call just to give me a reason to Clorox my brain or what?”
“Danny wanted me to let you know we had to take a little detour and things took longer than expected, but we’re still only about four hours behind you.”
“Things?”
“Things,” Mia repeated.
“Care to expand?”
“No.”
“I thought when you joined my gang, you’d be on my side. Oldest and dearest friend and all that.”
“I am.”
When Mia didn’t continue, I gave up. Oldest and dearest friend also meant I knew there was no getting anything out of Mia that Mia wasn’t willing to give. “Anything else? Anything popping on the freak’o meter?”
“Nothing between you and Hell. Hell, however, is on a steadying climb, still not anywhere near what we saw with the last horseman.”
“Good.”
“And I’m not getting anything on the satellite feed. All still appears to be normal. You have anything for us?”
I thought about the early morning family tree reveal, but I didn’t want to go there yet as it was still on the rinse-and-repeat cycle of my brain. “No, not really, but I would take any info we have on the remaining horsemen. I’m going to ask the three angel-pedias too, but doesn’t hurt to go at it from all angles.”
“On it,” Mia said, fingers already pounding out on the keyboard. “I’ll let you know if I find anything. Danny and Grand are headed back to the car now, so we’ll be on your tail shortly.”
“Cool, check later.”
“Later.”
I pulled Woody into a parking space at the edge of DD, where Ashlyn was already coming out with a box, a tray full of coffees, and a child-size milk. Ariel was wiping off a table, Six at her side, as Sammy finished filling up and parking in the open space alongside me. Michael and Apoc came across the parking lot to join us just as Ashlyn was handing out napkins and flipping open the lid to the box. We all made our selections, Apoc protesting the banana and yogurt that was put in front of him. Me however, I know I’m a walking talking complex riddle of chaos, but in donuts I’m simple. Glazed for me, thank you.
“This is one of my favorite things about this plane,” Ariel said, admiring her caramel-topped long john.
“No donuts in heaven?” Ashlyn asked. Ariel shook her head in lieu of an answer since her mouth was now full.
“They don’t have curly fries either,” I added before realizing it. Six sets of ridiculously pretty eyeballs swung on me. “Wild guess,” I tried.
“That was a very specific wild guess,” Sammy stated.
“What happened,” Michael demanded more than questioned.
I sighed. “I might have had a visitor last night.”
Michael shifted to meet me more directly. “Might have had a visitor?”
“Fine. Two visitors.”
“Two visitors. Who?”
“First was your dad and …”
“And what?”
“And we migh
t have, kind of, gotten into a little tiff.”
“About curly fries?” he asked.
I blinked at him. I mean seriously he was pretty but … okay, he was smart too, just got a little off his brain game when it came to the daddy issues. “About you and,” I nodded at Apoc, not only as a point of the conversation but to alert Michael that Apoc had a chocolate frosting smile that would rival the Joker’s makeup—the Ledger version, not the Nicholson.
“How did you?” Michael snatched the donut from his son, only to have it replaced by another one. They went around like this for a few rounds until Apoc broke him and Ashlyn stepped in with apple slices and yogurt. “Thank you.” His attention back on me, Michael resumed, “Now, what did you do? What did he want? What did you do?”
“You asked that one twice.” I waved off my own comment. “It bears repeating. I get it. But seriously, it wasn’t really anything.”
“Explain anything,” Michael demanded in that special way parents do with authority, but also with a smile so not to incite a fit-throwing incident.
“I might have in so many words told him he sucked at the daddy game and he needed to level up.”
“And?”
“And then he flew off.” I did the double flappy hand thing in case anyone needed a little interpretive dance mid-story to break up the monotony.
“He just flew off? No threats, no ultimatums?” Michael asked.
I went for another donut. “Zip. Zero. Nada.”
“And the other visitor?” Ariel asked after the silence hit the awkward stage.
“My grandmother,” I said, not able to keep the corner of my lip from curling up in a grin.
“Your Grandmother Mattox,” Ariel confirmed, smiling in turn.
“You know her?” I asked.
“No, but I can … feel her. See your love for her. Hers for you. It’s very special.”
“Very,” I confirmed.
“What did she have to say?” Michael asked.
“Apparently, she’s a pretty good pickleball player.”
Sammy chuckled. “Fun fact, but likely not relevant to our issue.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, she really didn’t say much. Well, actually she said a lot, but I’m not sure much of it is relevant.” I gave them the quick version of our convo, skipping over the me wearing my sister’s underwear and me getting caught with my cast up the skirt of a toy grab game. We chatted about the Pea Ridge to Oklahoma venue change, which raised some brows and a plethora of opinions. I didn’t bring up the Ancestry.com report or the knife, as I wanted to talk to Grand and Danny first.
