Finally, I mustered up a smile. “Uh-huh.”
His smirk grew. “I like that skirt. Wear it again tomorrow.”
Tomorrow. My birthday was tomorrow. Did he remember?
As if reading my thoughts, he lifted his palm to caress my cheek. “I haven’t forgotten it’s your special day. Your first, right, Ivy?”
I nodded, closing my eyes so that I wouldn’t give my inner turmoil away. “Yes.”
His fingers traced my lips. “I need to get set up for the show.”
“Wait.” I gripped his wrist. “Oliver, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow. What are we going to do? How are we going to keep seeing each other?”
He shrugged. “We’ll figure it out. I promise you, we will. But not now. Tomorrow, after we celebrate, we’ll make a plan.”
After? After I gave him my virginity? I still didn’t even have his phone number. Frustration bloomed inside my chest, and tears pricked behind the backs of my eyes, but Oliver didn’t seem to notice. He lifted his wrist to look at his watch.
“I really have to go. I need to make sure Jamie is fine before we go on.” Oliver picked up my top off the ground and handed it to me. “I’ll see you at the party.”
By the time I’d pulled my shirt over my head, he’d already snuck out, only a trace of his cologne lingering in his wake.
The clock above the reporter’s head ticked past one am, and I glanced at the door for what must have been the hundredth time since we’d gotten to the suite about an hour ago. Cole and the rest of the guys had made a big deal of it being my birthday and even arranged for a cake to be here when we first walked in. I was sitting beside Silas, pretending to participate in a conversation he and Cole were having with a reporter from a local Kansas City music magazine, but my thoughts were on Oliver. I couldn’t shake off my unease about what had happened in that storage room, or the fact that I would be on a plane home in less than forty-eight hours and I still had no idea what we were going to do.
I couldn’t wait until the morning. We had to figure this stuff tonight, and I wouldn’t let him off the hook as easily as I had a few hours earlier. At least, I told myself that. The thought of forcing a confrontation was more than a little terrifying. I’d come on this tour with the goal of taking tentative steps out of my comfort zone, but I’d never expected to be jerked out of it at a hundred miles per hour by a gorgeous rock star. Around Oliver, I was different, but on my own, I didn’t feel nearly as changed. As I scanned all the faces at this party, I felt a familiar discomfort at being around people I didn’t know.
At last, the door to the suite swung open, and Ritual Disruption piled in, their groupies swarming around them like ants. I excused myself from the conversation, and headed toward the door.
I saw Andy and Vincent, but where was Oliver? Standing on my tiptoes, I craned my neck, trying to spot his tousled-blond hair, but I couldn’t find him over the steady stream of men and women coming into the room. “Better Strangers” by Royal Blood was blasting through the speakers, its angry riff only adding to the chaos.
I forced myself to keep moving toward the door, despite the discomfort I was already starting to feel. Oh God, the room was getting packed. People were laughing and shouting, bumping against my shoulders and pushing against me. I was a little fish trying to swim upstream, and all I could think about was that goddamn Christmas market when I thought I’d be swallowed up by the crowd. I was so little, and all the strangers had towered above me, their mulled wine spilling over the edges of their mugs and their cheeks rosy with the cold. No one had looked down to where I was. If I tripped and fell, they’d walk right over me, and I’d be crushed into the ground.
A hand gripped my wrist.
Oliver.
I let him lead me, like I always did, trusting him to get me out of here. I kept my eyes on my shoes to make sure I wouldn’t stumble. They glistened with something sticky—someone must have spilled their drink on them. Suddenly, the noise level dropped, and I saw that we’d made it to the hall.
“Thank—” My voice cut off abruptly when I finally looked at whose fingers were still wrapped around my wrist. It wasn’t Oliver.
Jamie studied me with his piercing gray eyes, his face furrowed in concern. He wore a white T-shirt and a pair of leather pants that clung to his legs. Shocked, I stumbled back, pulling myself out of his grip.
“What are you doing?” I demanded, my pulse racing in the wrist he’d just held. “Why did you take me outside?”
He shifted on his feet. “You didn’t look okay. I thought you needed some air.”
God, his voice was disarming. I took a deep breath, trying to process the fact that Jamie had come to my rescue. I didn’t want him doing me any favors, but I couldn’t deny that I’d needed someone to get me out of that room.
“I just don’t love crowds. Or packed places,” I admitted, dropping my gaze to the ground. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” He didn’t move.
“Well, don’t let me keep you out here,” I said, glancing back to him.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?”
“Oliver.”
The gratitude I’d felt evaporated in half a second. “I told you to stay out of my life,” I said through clenched teeth. “You said something to him after you walked in on us, didn’t you? Because of you, I’ve barely seen him for the past few days. What did you do?”
“You don’t know what kind of a person he really is,” Jamie said, dropping his voice.
“Let me guess, you’re going to tell me? Why would I believe a word you say?”
For a moment, he seemed taken aback, as if my words had hurt him somehow. This didn’t make any sense. I didn’t think Jamie was stupid. Surely he knew how others perceived him?
“Well? Are you going to answer me or not?” I demanded, narrowing my eyes.
The singer frowned. “I might have my own issues, but I’m not lying about this. I only want to help you.”
“Why?”
“Because what he’s doing is wrong,” Jamie said, taking a step closer. “Oliver enjoys manipulating people. When he gets what he wants from you, you’ll just be another damaged thing he leaves behind. I’ve seen it happen over and over, with groupies and other women he meets on tour, but it’s even worse with you, because you’re here for two weeks. Whatever he’s told you about his feelings, it’s all a game for him.”
A chill ran down my spine. He was lying. He had to be. “You really expect me to believe that? You must think I’m an idiot.”
“I don’t,” he insisted, his brows pulling together. “Listen to me. He’s dangerous.”
“That’s rich.” I laughed, but it sounded like a snarl. “He wasn’t the one who came on to me in a dressing room.”
Jamie’s face twisted in a grimace. “I’m—”
“Ivy!”
I turned in the direction of the voice. Ezra was waving at me from down the hall. His expression tightened when he saw who I was talking to.
“Listen—”
“Stay the hell away from me, Jamie,” I hissed before turning on my heel and starting toward Ezra.
“Everything okay?” the drummer asked when I got to him, his gaze jumping from me to down the hall where Jamie must have remained.
“Fine,” I said, keeping my voice level. “It got too stuffy in the suite. I’m going to go chill in the lobby for a bit.”
Ezra frowned. “You sure? Want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m good. I just…need some space.”
“Did Jamie do something?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I’ll be back soon.”
Without waiting for Ezra’s response, I headed to the elevator. When the metal doors shut behind me, I let out a groan of frustration. The problem was that Jamie had done something. He’d watered the seed of doubt that had already been planted inside my mind.
I sat on a bench in the lobby and held my head in my palms. I wanted to forget Jamie’s words,
to label them as baseless lies, but what motive did he have to lie to me? We had exchanged no more than a handful of words in the time I’d been here. I had given him no reason to want to hurt me. I knew him and Oliver had issues, but was he so petty and vengeful to try hurt Oliver by lying about him to me?
He’s an addict.
I didn’t know any addicts, but I knew enough from popular culture to understand he may not always act rationally. If he was high or drunk, he might have just been saying things for the sake of stirring shit up. I tried to remember how he’d looked, and if there had been any tells about his mental state, but nothing in particular stood out. He’d seemed better than he’d been in the greenroom, if anything.
Why had Oliver been so evasive about everything but his desire to finally sleep with me? Was I being a naive fool for thinking that the feelings developing between us were real? Standing up, I began to pace around the spacious lobby, trying to calm down and organize my thoughts, but it was fruitless.
The elevator dinged loudly, snapping me out of my thoughts in time to see Oliver step out.
I stopped pacing, and our eyes met. His hair was damp, and his cheeks had a pink flush to them, as if he’d just gotten out of a hot shower. He’d changed out of his show clothes and was now wearing an all-black suit, something I’d never seen on him before. My heart skipped a beat.
“Hey,” he said, his brows pulling together when he saw me. “What are you doing down here?”
He looked untouchable, and the reality of the situation came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t lose him. I’d never be with anyone like him ever again. I needed to know this was real as badly as I needed air.
He crossed the distance between us, and I grasped his shoulders. Immediately, his expression flattened, and he glanced around as if he wanted to make sure no one was watching us. “What’s going on?”
“Jamie,” I whispered. “He said something to me.”
Oliver waited for me to continue, his eyes not giving anything away, but I could feel his muscles growing tense beneath my hands.
“He said you enjoy manipulating people.” The words felt like vomit coming out of my mouth.
Oliver’s cheek fluttered. “And you believed him?”
“I don’t know what to believe. You won’t tell me why you’ve stayed away for the past few days, and I don’t know what’s going to happen to us when I leave the day after tomorrow. I’m scared of losing you. I’m scared that…” My voice broke.
“You’re scared that he’s telling the truth? The guy who forced himself on you, who’s been making my life a living hell for years, who’s only sober once in a blue moon— Jesus, Ivy,” Oliver ground out, his eyes burning with ire. “You must really think nothing of me if you’re going to believe someone who probably couldn’t even remember his last name when he spoke to you.”
“He seemed fine,” I said. It was so hard to keep pushing, but I needed to know the truth.
“He can put on a good act if he tries, but he’s never fine. Trust me on that.”
“You’re asking me to trust you an awful lot. And I want to. I want to trust you so badly that it physically hurts. I want this to be real. I want to be with you. But I need to know this is not just some fling for you, and so far, you’ve done nothing to prove that to me.”
There. I’d said what I wanted to say. But the relief at finally getting it all out was short-lived as I watched Oliver’s lips twist into a sneer.
“I’ve done nothing to prove that I’m committed to you? What do you think usually happens on these tours, Ivy? Oh, that’s right. I keep forgetting you don’t know because you’re a goddamn child. I could be sleeping with a new girl every single night, but instead, here I am, ditching my band and sneaking away so that I can make your romantic fantasy come true. I’m doing all this because I care enough about you not to rush you into anything, while you’re spending your time thinking about all the ways I’m still not good enough.”
My mind exploded in panic. I’d pushed him too far. What the hell was I thinking? I’d let Jamie get inside my head, and now I was about to ruin everything.
I began to cry. Oliver grabbed me by the elbow and steered me to the corner of the lobby, blocking anyone from seeing my tears with his body.
“You’re right. Of course, you’re right,” I blubbered. “Forget I said anything. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He stared down at me, his lips still pulled into a tight line.
“I don’t know why I even listened to Jamie. I’m so stupid. Of course, you’re good enough. Oliver, you’re perfect. You’re so goddamn perfect.”
He let out a long breath. “Maybe getting involved was a mistake.”
“No! Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”
His gaze was hard. “Keep your voice down.”
“I’m in love with you!”
I buried my face in my palms, trying to obey his commands but finding it nearly impossible to stop the tears from coming. I knew I’d never forgive myself if my idiocy ended up breaking us up. After what felt like an eternity, I felt his hands wrap around my waist, and he pulled me into his chest.
“Shh, stop it. Calm down.”
“I’m sorry,” I wept into his shirt. “Can you forgive me?”
He swiped the back of my head with his hand. “I think we just need some time apart, okay?”
“No.” I pulled back. “I’m leaving so soon. I’m eighteen. Please, let’s—”
His gaze softened. “Happy birthday, beautiful. Why don’t you go to your room and get some sleep, okay? It’s already almost two am.”
“What about you?”
He sighed. “I’ll do the same. I just need to drop something off at the party. I’ll see you first thing in the morning.”
He looked around and then pulled me in for a kiss. His lip ring pressed into my lip, his tongue danced with mine, and I whined into his mouth. I clutched his shirt so hard I thought my nails might rip through the fabric. I didn’t want to leave him, but when he broke our kiss, I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore.
Oliver and I took the elevator to the top floor, where both the party suite and my room were located.
As we got out, he turned to me, his expression serious. “Promise me you’ll stay away from Jamie. I don’t want you talking to him again. You shouldn’t listen to a word he says.”
How was it possible for things to get so bad between two old friends? A sudden chill ran through me, and I rubbed my arms. “I won’t. I promise.”
Oliver nodded. “Good night, Ivy.”
As soon as I got inside my room, I collapsed on the bed. My entire body was wrecked with exhaustion. I didn’t have the energy to even take my clothes off, but my thoughts wouldn’t calm. I kept replaying the events of the night, and every time I thought back to Jamie and his lies, I wanted to scream into the mattress.
How dare he lie to me?
6
When the numbers on the digital clock beside my bed changed to three am, I got up. I’d been unable to catch even a wink of sleep since I left Oliver. The sounds of the party down the hall could still be heard, and it was making me irrationally angry. I hated that all those people were having fun while my evening had been utterly ruined by Jamie.
Maybe I’d go back to the suite and see if some of the Bleeding Moonlight guys were still there. I pulled on a pair of jeans. Many of the guests must’ve left by now, and anything was better than lying here and staring at the ceiling.
I left my room and headed to the suite, but I didn’t even get as far as two steps when I saw a flash of Jamie’s long black hair down the hall. He’d just ducked through the door to the fire escape.
My nostrils flared. I promised Oliver I’d stay away, but nice-girl Ivy who did as she was told wasn’t here at the moment. That girl would swallow down her anger and stick to the plan of going to the stupid party, but this girl wanted to tear Jamie a new one right fucking now.
One last confrontation couldn
’t hurt, right? I needed to get some things off my chest, and then I’d be happy to never speak to him again. Plus, I was doing this for Oliver. He’d changed me into someone stronger, someone who could stand up for the man she loved. Who else was Jamie telling lies to about Oliver? What if someone actually believed him?
I stomped toward the staircase, rehearsing all the nasty things I wanted to say to the singer. When I made it to the landing, I peered down the empty gap between the flights of stairs and saw Jamie’s hand moving on the railing about halfway down.
“Hey,” I shouted, my voice echoing around me. “Jamie!”
He didn’t stop. Didn’t even acknowledge that he heard me.
I started after him, hopping down two steps at a time. Never had I felt righteous anger as potent as this. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the long and emotional day I’d had, but in that moment, I felt more feral than human.
His pace was no match for my own, and soon I had him cornered on a landing. I shoved him into a wall. He put up no resistance.
“What the fuck, Jamie? What the hell is wrong…” I trailed off as I took him in. Jesus, he didn’t look good. His body was writhing against the concrete wall, as if it was a struggle for him to just stand straight. Impossibly, my anger surged even higher at seeing him in this state. He was high out of his mind. How could I have believed a single word he said even for a second?
His head bopped, his chin dropping to his chest before he managed to level his eyes on me. “You listened to me.”
“You are a disgusting liar.”
His face was blank for a moment, as if it took him a few seconds to process what I’d said. Then, his lips curled, and a sad huff of a laugh puffed out of his mouth. “I’ve been called worse.” His right knee buckled, and he swayed to the side, grasping at the wall behind him at the last second to help him stand.
I snarled at him. “Is this a joke to you? Do you try to ruin people’s lives for fun?”
He huff-laughed again, and my hands curled into fists by my sides.
Pretty Words: An Enemies To Lovers Rock Star Romance (River Valley Rebels) Page 8
