by Moira Young
He sets me away from him. Out from his arms. When we was in that white room, he says. With DeMalo’s fake visions. What did you mean when you said, them people in the bunks?
The smell of danger prickles my scalp. I don’t remember sayin that, I says.
Well you did, he says. You said, when them people lay on them bunks fer the very last time, they died with hope that somebody would find the seedstore one day. What people in the bunks? How d’you know people died there?
But why? This is why. Ohmigawd, I let that slip. Does he suspect I was in the vision room before? One wrong word here, this could all break open. Be careful. Be very careful.
I really don’t remember sayin that, I says. But, uh … I dunno, I guess I jest imagined what might of happened. Like you said, it was a lot to take in all at once. The seedstore an the maps an the vision room, the bunks. I s’pose I jest seen it all an made a story that made sense of it to me. Didn’t you? Ain’t that what anybody’d do?
I dunno, you tell me, he says.
An I’m thinkin, that don’t sound like he believes me. Would I believe me if I was him? My mind dashes about, tryin to think what else I might of let slip. It ain’t like him not to say what’s on his mind. Not to chide me direct fer my sins. But then Cassie’s comin outta the cabin an Jack’s sayin, completely normal, like he didn’t jest maybe very possibly stick a knife in me,
So, what next, Saba? More baby stealin?
I … uh … yeah, I says. Mercy’s gonna see these two through the night. You’ll be glad of her skills, so she’ll stay on till you ain’t got need of her no more. You should take every child they leave out to die. Return ’em to the parents, but only if they can be trusted. If not, you’ll hafta keep the babies safe an well.
Okay, he says. But there won’t be that many exposed. A handful at most. You’ll need a lot more babies than that to make any progress. This’ll take weeks. Months.
No, no, we bin talkin about that jest now, says Cassie. It’s obvious what we do. In fact, Rae was the one said it. We’ll need the help of the midwives to steal the babies to their parents. There ain’t no Tonton in the birthin room, jest the midwife. Mercy says they ain’t innerested in stillborns. They don’t wanna see ’em. The midwife’s in charge of the burial. So she reports a stillbirth an we take the baby. Cassie looks at Jack. Could you git Mercy back into the babyhouse she used to be at? The other midwife there was of the same mind as Mercy. She’s sure that she’ll help.
I’ll think of a story to cover it, says Jack. Whatever Tonton was there when Mercy was, they’ll be long gone. They’re on constant rotation so’s there ain’t no time to build factional loyalties.
We’ll work out how best to smuggle them away, says Cassie. We’ll hafta make sure they don’t cry, of course. Anyways, that’s only our first thoughts on this. I’m sure once we dig into it, we’ll have more. What if we have other ideas?
Talk to Jack, I says. If he agrees, then you do it. This is perfect, Cassie. It’s jest what I meant should happen. You git the idea, you make the plan, you make it happen. All of yuz workin together. Not me tellin you to do this or that. All I do is set you off, set you thinkin in a different direction. Then you pass it on, teach the others. You become yer own leaders, d’you see? Cassie, you’ve changed yer life tonight. Rae as well, an Noble. One step. That’s all it took an yer changin New Eden already.
Cassie’s all smiles an bright eyes. We’re the mountain, she says. An we’re on the move. I didn’t unnerstand when you explained this at the mill. I listened, but I didn’t hear, not really. I had to see it fer myself. Do it fer myself. It’s so simple.
Not everybody’s like you, says Jack. Or even Rae, fer that matter. You gotta be careful with this.
An remember, no weapons, I says. You use violence even once, you’ll be painted as the enemy.
We won’t be able to keep this secret fer long, says Jack. A baby’s cry carried on the wind could well be heard. Rumours here catch like a spark to dry wood. An there’s always some toady wantin to gain favour with the local commander.
If Rae an Noble git informed on, says Cassie, if anybody comes to take their baby, they’ll reach fer a gun. They won’t let her be took without a fight.
That means we gotta move quick on every front, I says. Before there’s a chance of word gittin out.
Before the blood moon, it seems. You keep askin when it is, says Jack. Why then?
Be careful. Be very careful.
Five nights ain’t too far, ain’t too near, I says. Probly jest about as long as we can keep this quiet. So we really gotta push. Move fast. The baby stuff’s all up to you now. I’m steppin back unless you wanna bring me in fer somethin. It’s slaves next fer you, Jack. I need you to play the Tonton commander an slip Skeet into a few slave gangs. A mornin here, a afternoon there. Quick, in an out. DeMalo ain’t got no support with the slaves.
Some of ’em used to be his Chosen ones, says Jack. They might think to git back in favour by turnin informer. Skeet’ll hafta be careful who he talks to.
I says, The main thing is, they need to be ready to move when they git the call.
Call to what? he says. Throw off their chains?
That’s right, I says.
Okay, how? he says. When?
I’m workin on that.
You better work fast.
They need to stand tall, I says. Look the Tonton straight in the eye. Make polite, do what they say, don’t give ’em no cause to come down hard. But look ’em straight in the eye. Man to man, woman to man. You act low, you believe yer low, an they do too.
High-minded words, he says. I’ll pass ’em on.
Cassie says, I better git home before Hunter comes to. She looks at me. A smile warms her. What we done tonight, it’s powerful. A kinda power I could never of imagined. Bram would be amazed. He’d be very pleased.
I’m choked. She didn’t hafta throw me such a bone. She’s a far kinder soul than I’d be in her place. This time she holds out her hand to me. I take it. Then she hugs me. Thank you, she says.
As she goes to mount up, Jack says, G’night, Saba. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Like I’m anybody. Like my kiss didn’t tell him, like my body didn’t tell him, like we don’t both know that I jest said to him, be with me Jack, burn with me till the dawnrise. His face is storm shuttered. This ain’t how we are, him an me. It ain’t how he is. Frantic hands rummage words on my lips. Quick, find the right one to make it okay. Remember, though, Cassie’s in earshot.
Well done fer tonight, he says.
Please, say somethin else, please, Jack. No, no, of course, no, he cain’t. Cassie’s here an she don’t know about us an she cain’t know. But a look, he could manage somethin. I could manage some little thing.
Don’t go, I whisper.
But he’s already on Kell’s back an they’re already turnin their horses an then they’re headin out along the field an I’m standin in the yard an watchin them go. Cassie, back to her man who ain’t Bram an her secret life that keeps her soul alive. Jack, to ride away from me when he shouldn’t. Could I be readin this wrong? Readin too much into it? Nobody can be fine all the time.
Then I remember. The look on his face, in his eyes, as we listened to the Tonton with the baby. We all got wounds that will never heal. Jack’s dead child is one of his. It must go deep. An it’s bin pressed on hard this night. Maybe he jest needs to be alone fer a while. I gotta stop thinkin that everythin’s always about me. I know full well that it ain’t.
I know another thing, too. Whatever else I hafta own to, or cook a story to cover, Jack cain’t never find out about me an DeMalo. I could never explain it. Never make him unnerstand. Some things are jest too big to fergive.
As I’m nearin home ground, with my eyelids at a half-mast, I realize we didn’t arrange our next meet. I need Jack, want him with me on the Edenhome recce.
I whistle Nero down an bring Hermes to a halt while I dig in the worn leather bag around my waist. I find the che
rrybark roll that I’m after. A stick child inside a square with a moon above. Meet me at Edenhome tonight. A arrow drives through the middle. That means be ready fer action.
Nero flaplands on my head. I pick him off an tie the roll to his leg. Find Jack, I tell him. Then I throw him back into the air. He banks north an with a caw caw of farewell, he beats strong an steady towards Jack.
I do need him on this recce. But—selfish as always—every time I see him, it’s another chance to try agin. To try an git things right fer once.
An I’m in urgent need of somebody else too. I need Auriel. Auriel Tai. I need her an the best of her Snake River refugees. We need bodies in New Eden. We gotta rumble every last one of these fault lines. An fast.
The blood moon’s comin at us quick.
I ride through the gate of Starlight Lanes as the first shades of dawn light the eastern sky. Slim’s on watch in his slingchair. Though that heroic item is completely lost in his bulkitude of flesh an blue frock. As he struggles to his feet, it comes with him, attached to his backside. Lugh says one time it’ll disappear up Slim’s rear exhaust an bagsy he ain’t gonna be the one goes after it.
Damn thing, he says. I swear it’s shrinkin. He wriggles loose with grunts an curses. That knave, Bobby French, he’s went an sold me a pup agin. A man pops wind when you handshake the deal, that tells you he’s nervous. I should of asked myself why. How’d the politeness offensive go?
He ambles over to hold Hermes’ head while I swing myself down. As my boots hit the ground I stumble. More tired than I know. Dumbed by it all.
Whoa there! Slim catches my arm. Where’s Miz Mercy got to?
I says, She stayed to help a Steward couple settle in with their baby.
His whiskery face cracks a wide grin. Hark at you, so casual! He grabs me in a one-armed hug. So, you bin baby stealin! Ha ha! He cackles with delight.
Finders keepers, I says. Somebody threw it out.
Ain’t you the cool one, he says. An don’t the bunny always come through? He waggles the manky old rabbit’s foot at me. That’ll teach you to mock, he says. I bin rubbin this old fella bare to send you luck. I wanna hear it all, soup to nuts, but later’ll do. Go bag some zees. You earned yer beauty sleep tonight. He bows his head, with a fancy swirl of his hand. I shall attend to yer mount, oh great one, though I be but a mere humble vessel. Okay if I tell everybody mission accomplished?
When they wake, I says, that’ll be soon enough. I need to see Ash, though, right away. Would you tell her I’ll be in the grove? I head towards the forest garden an washpond. Oh! I talk to him as I walk backwards. Anythin to report?
Jest a heads up, he says. Creed’s pressin me hard to show him the weapons dump at Nass Camp. He wants to know ezzackly how much firepower we got. That boy’s brewin trouble. Best give him somethin dangerous to do right away.
Thanks, I’ll think of somethin, I says.
You done good tonight, Angel, he says. Keep on provin me wrong. Who knows? I might even find I like bein a peacenik.
We smile at each other. I wobble as my heel hits a rock.
Oi! Look where yer goin, he says. With a salute, he trundles off with Hermes.
I duck inside the shed where I left my gear. I grab my bow an head fer the grove.
I zing the shots. Fast as I can. No time to think. Snatch, nock, pull, let fly. I scatter the target. Arrow by arrow. I’m tired. Off centre. Wobbly.
Lugh put up this big moss bullseye fer Emmi to practise. Tucked it outta sight in Peg’s nuttery, hopin to spare her from all the Dutch uncles. But everybody swarmed on it, anxious to keep target trim. An any time Em twitched a finger she’d git don’t-do-that-do-this, no, don’t-do-this-do-that till she quit the grove in protest. Now she shoots at wormy apples in peace.
Oh, the relief of my bow in my hands. The rightness of my whiteoak bow. It cleaves to me like my own flesh. The gift of a dead man, Namid the Star Dancer. Warrior an shaman. Auriel’s grandsire who lives in my dreams.
Arrow by arrow, I steady. Shot by shot, I move closer to the heart. I pull my self in. Shoot my self back to true. My hands, my eye, my body, my mind. Then, I’m on it. Hittin it. Time after time.
An everythin but the centre falls away. An it’s simple. Perfect. No quarrel, no quibble, no trade-offs. No coldness in Jack. No lie upon lie that might betray me.
Hands start clappin. Behind me. I jerk at the sound an my arrow flies wide.
It’s Ash. She stands there, clappin me, knee deep in a thick mornin ground mist. There’s a smile on her lips, in her eyes. She’s tall an solid an steady an familiar an I’m suddenly exhausted. Jest like that. My bow goes limp in my hands. She comes up an hugs me. Tightly. Strongly. I lean aginst her. My throat tightens. Weak tears threaten salt trails. She steps back to give me a good lookin over.
The Angel has triumphed, she says. First time I ever bin woke by them words. Well. I’m proud of you. An so would Maev be. She told me to hang in with you, you know that? Mark my words, Ash. If anybody’s gonna carve a new path, it’ll be that one. If yer smart, you’ll stick with her. That’s what she said. She was right.
She thumbs my eyes dry with clumsy tenderness.
It worked, I says. I think this could really work. Was it hard, though, Ash. Much harder’n fightin. I had no idea.
You sent fer me, she says. I’m here an I’m ready. What’s the job?
I didn’t notice before. She’s dressed fer the road. She’s brought her pack.
I says, I need you to ride faster’n you ever rode before. I need you to—
Saba! Saba! Come quick! Emmi flies towards us, flappin in high excitement. It’s Lugh an Creed! They’re gonna kill each other! Hurry!
With a clatter of curses, Ash pelts off. An I’m right behind her.
It’s a dustup at dawn. A two-dog fight in the junkyard. We hear the rumpus well before we reach them. Everybody yellin, Tracker barkin, Moses bellowin. They’re brawlin on a junkpile. Strugglin an tusslin. Throwin punches that mainly miss. Creed’s split Lugh’s lip. Lugh’s blooded Creed’s nose.
Make ’em stop! cries Emmi. Lugh! Look out!
Creed’s grabbed him by the waist an hauls him down. Metal an iron. Slabs an sheets. Beams an girders. Edges to cut. Blocks to break bones. Stupidity times a million.
Gawdamnn eejits! Ash yells. Git offa that pile!
Slim’s in there shoutin at ’em an Tommo’s tryin to grab a arm or leg to separate ’em, but it’s too wild fer their safety an they beat a retreat.
What the hell’s goin on? What set ’em off? I says.
Who knows? Slim mops his head with a kercheef. I’m in the stables, next thing I know, it’s a brouhaha. Damn, I’m too old fer this.
I was asleep, says Tommo.
Creed’s the more wily fighter, the victor of many a scrap. I know fer a fact this is Lugh’s first punch-up. But he’s taller an heavier an he ain’t a bad wrestler. He’s also wearin boots. Barefoot, on a heap of metal, Creed’s on a hidin to nuthin. He must know it, but he’s fightin like he means to win. They’re breathin hard. Hot-eyed with fury.
Molly’s yellin, Creed! I ain’t gonna stitch you agin! Stop it! Lugh! Dammit, you two, stop this right now! Her colour’s hectic. Her mushroom pail stands beside her. Another early mornin walk in the woods, it seems.
Any time now, there’s gonna be blood, says Slim. One of ’em’ll crack their head wide open. You better wade in there an break it up, Angel.
I’m already pilin in fast, shoutin, All right, that’s it! That’s enough.
Tommo an Ash help an between the three of us, we somehow haul ’em off the junkpile. Worked up past thought, Creed rushes me. I sidestep, hook his foot an he’s down. He slams on his front an lays there, winded.
I says, Right, who started this? Lugh?
No reply. He won’t look at me. Won’t look at nobody. He wipes his bloody mouth with his sleeve, his breath comin harsh, his chest heavin. He’s a fought-to-a-standoff mess. Shirt ripped. Britches torn. Scraped, bruised an drippin with
sweat.
Creed’s the same. Tracker’s lickin his face, whinin. With a groan, Creed pushes him away. He rolls onto his back. Tommo helps him to his feet. He leans over, hands on knees, shakin his head. It’s a wonder he didn’t split his stitched shoulder wide open.
Creed, I says. You tell me, if Lugh won’t. What’s this about? Who started it?
He scowls as he dabs at his nose with his filthy shirt tail. Silence from him too.
Fine, I says. I ain’t got time to waste on you two. It’s a draw. Shake hands an that’s it.
They don’t move. Gawdamnmit, I yell, be a man an shake hands!
They do. One quick shake, not lookin at each other.
Creed, I says, yer headin out with Ash. Git yerself cleaned up an ready fer the road.
He jabs his finger at me. Hotly angry. I do not do what you tell me to, he says.
I’m askin, I says. Please.
Why doncha send yer dear brother? he says.
I want you with Ash on this. She’s gonna need yer help, okay?
C’mon, man, says Ash. Don’t be a bigger ass than you already are. She claps him on the shoulder as she passes. See you at the stables, she says to me. We’ll wait there fer orders.
Creed hesitates. His glance flicks between me an Lugh. Tryin to decide if he’s lost face or not.
C’mon, Creed, I says. Please an thank you. With a curse, he heads after Ash.
I grab Lugh by the shirt an drag him outta earshot. He nurses his fist. He avoids my eyes.
That was a disgrace, I says. You put us at odds with each other, we’re gonna lose this fight. An we won’t walk away with a bloody nose, it’ll be our heads on spikes. So think on that an whatever itch you woke with this mornin, consider it scratched.
He nods. I’m sorry, he says. I—
That’s it, move on, I says. I turn to go.
Saba, he says.
I look back at him.
I need somethin to do, he says. I’m kickin my heels here, goin crazy ever since the bridge. Please. Lemme make it up to you. Gimme somethin to do.
