by Sabrina York
“Yay!” Emma bounced up and down on her seat. “The couch is a bed, too. It opens up into a bed!” she said, as though this was the most novel idea ever. “Say you’ll stay. You can even read me a story. I always get a story before bed.”
Lizzie blinked. Storytime was her thing.
But before she got too put out, Danny noticed Lizzie’s expression and said, “Only if your mom says it’s okay.”
That did help ease her angst. A little.
His wink, however, didn’t help quash the heat in her belly much at all.
* * *
After Emma’s bath, Lizzie got her daughter into her pj’s, then snuggled into her bed with her favorite book. But Emma wouldn’t let Lizzie start until Danny came to snuggle on her other side. “We’re a sandwich,” Emma said with a giggle. “A family sandwich.”
Danny and Lizzie glanced at each other over her head, and Lizzie tried to ignore the warmth swelling in her chest. Tried to ignore all the fantasies she’d had, once upon a time, where she and Danny were together, with Emma nestled between them.
It was too poignant for words.
But Emma wasn’t interested in her mother’s melodrama. “Read,” she commanded, squishing herself deeper between them.
Lizzie did as she was told, although she did have to let Danny read every other page, because Emma insisted.
When the story was finished, Emma wanted another one, but Lizzie was too wise to her ways to comply. “One story,” she reminded her daughter, who made a face. Apparently, she’d thought, now that her daddy was here, all the rules would fly out the window. “Besides, Danny has a big day tomorrow. He has to go to the hospital.”
“But we’re going with him,” Emma said. “Just like you always take me when I have tests, Mommy.”
Oh, Lord. How to respond to such logic? “I’ll call Dr. Blake tomorrow and ask if we can come too. Okay?”
Emma bounced up and down and cried, “Hurrah!”
“Thank you,” Danny said, eyeing Lizzie’s hesitant expression.
“Don’t worry,” said Emma. “If you like, when we’re there, you can hold my hand.”
Danny hid a smile. “I can?”
Emma nodded. “It makes it better when someone holds your hand.”
It was such a solemn offering, it made Lizzie want to cry. Emma had been through too much at her age, and it bruised her heart to see how keenly her daughter understood others’ pain—but it also made her proud. Holding back her emotions, she gave her daughter a kiss and slipped from the bed. “Sleep well, Emma.”
“You, too, Mommy.” She reached to Danny for a kiss, as well. “Good night... Daddy.”
A flush rose on his cheeks. He only hesitated for a second before he gave her a long hug and a quick peck on the forehead through his mask, as though he was trying something new for the first time. “I’m...” He cleared his throat. “I’m so happy to know you, Emma.”
Her eyes glinted. “I’m so happy you are here with me, too.”
Together, Lizzie and Danny made their way into the hall, but he glanced back for one more look before she shut off the light. As though he couldn’t get enough of Emma.
He removed his mask as they stepped into the living room, and so did she. Nan had retired for the night, so they were alone. He whirled around and stared at Lizzie. “She’s perfect. Just perfect.”
She nodded. It was all she could manage. She tried opening her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.
“Are you all right?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes. Of course. I am just so happy the two of you finally met.”
A complete lie. Well, a partial lie. She was happy. It was a huge load off her conscience, but the old guilt still clung. It was her fault five years of Emma’s life had passed without a father. It was her fault.
He stepped closer and reached out a thumb, dabbing at her lashes. “What are these? Tears?”
“No.” She turned away, swiping at her cheeks.
“Please tell me what’s wrong.”
Her pulse thudded once. “I just... You missed so much—”
He stopped her with a finger over her lips. As she drew in a breath, his scent came along with it and made her head spin. “No,” he said fiercely. “None of that. You did what you thought was best for Emma back then, and who am I to say you were wrong? I was a selfish son of a bitch.”
“You weren’t—”
“I told you I didn’t want kids. And to be honest, I didn’t.” He barked a laugh and raked his fingers through his hair. “I wasn’t ready to make that kind of commitment back then, and we both know it.”
“Things might have been different if I’d told you about Emma that night.”
He sighed. “Maybe. Maybe not. There’s no point in going down that rabbit hole. Let’s just focus on where we are now. I, for one, am happy to be here.” He moved closer. “With Emma. With you. I’ve...missed you, Lizzie.” His breath was warm on her cheek, fragrant.
“I’ve missed you, too.” A whisper, because he was too close for her brain to work effectively. All she could think about was getting closer.
So when he pulled her into a hug, she went with it. Gloried in it. His arms enfolded her in a comfort and warmth she had ached for. His scent wrapped around her like a blanket. As the hug continued, his thumb stroked her back. Something so simple and innocent should never prompt the thoughts that sprouted in her head. But she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t help the growing desire to take his hand and lead him into her bedroom...
Which was right next to Emma’s.
Her lustful thoughts faded instantly.
She pulled back, to shake her head, and say something about taking things slowly, about taking their time, but before she could, he touched his lips to hers. Just touched them, gently, sweetly.
She melted into him, lost. He made a satisfied noise and deepened the kiss. She met him halfway, her tongue touching his in a tentative invitation. His growl deepened. He turned his head to get a better angle...and froze.
Lizzie barely noticed. She was far too transfixed by the feel of his abs beneath his shirt and the heat pouring from him. He was just as hot as he’d been when—
“Ahem.” Danny cleared his throat, and she frowned at him.
“What?” Okay, the word came out a little sharp, but she was annoyed by the interruption...from him!
He nodded toward the bedrooms. “We have an audience,” he whispered.
Uh-oh. Heat swept through her, then she wrenched herself from Danny’s hold and whirled around. Emma stood in the hallway avidly watching them. “What are you doing?” she asked with mild curiosity.
“Um...” Apparently, Danny still had the wherewithal to answer. “I was kissing your mom.”
“Why?”
“Because... I, um, wanted to thank her for dinner?”
Emma’s mask puffed as though she’d blown out a breath. “It’s really gross-looking.”
“Is it?” Danny asked through a laugh.
Lizzie had no idea why he was laughing. This was no laughing matter.
Emma crossed her little arms over her little chest. “Kissing is gross. Why do people do it?”
Danny grinned. “Well, Emma, there will come a day when you want to kiss a boy...” He trailed off as the prospect percolated in his brain.
Emma made a face. “And?”
“Uh, and don’t do it.”
“Not until you’re married,” Lizzie added. And when Danny gaped at her, because they certainly hadn’t followed that rule, she gored him with her elbow.
“Uh, yeah. What your mother says.”
“And your mother says it’s way past your bedtime, young lady. Come on. Tomorrow is a big day.” She took Emma’s hand and led her back to bed before fetching clean sheets for Danny’s sofa bed.
But she didn’t kis
s him again.
Still, it was doubtful she would get any sleep at all after that amazing blast from the past.
* * *
Danny didn’t sleep well at all that night. And not just because the sofa bed was lumpy. There seemed to be a bar running vertically, right over his backbone. After tossing and turning for a bit, he finally found a comfortable position and just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. He tried not to obsess about how Lizzie wasn’t very far away. Tried not to obsess on that kiss and how gratifying it had been. Tried not to convince himself she’d be welcoming, if he knocked.
He knew it was the wrong time for any of that, but he still couldn’t evict the urge, or the desire whipping through him. It had, after all, been a long, long time for him.
He must have slept, because when he awoke, the room was lighter and there was a small figure standing by his side. Emma. Without her mask; it hung slack around her neck. He stared, soaking in her features.
She smiled at him. “Are you awake?” she asked.
“I am.” He wriggled into a sitting position and glanced at his phone. Ugh. It was 5:30 a.m. “Shouldn’t you be wearing your mask?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes and then pulled it on. He reached for his and did the same. “Are you scared?” she asked. “About the test?” Her expression radiated concern.
“A little.”
At his admission, she hopped onto the bed next to him and took his hand in both of hers. “Don’t be scared. It’ll be okay.”
He shivered when he thought how many times she’d heard those words, whispered over clasped hands. He squeezed her fingers. “How do you do this, sweetie?” he asked her. “All this medical stuff? Does it—does it scare you?”
Her chin wobbled a little. “Mommy says I’m very brave.”
He wanted to hug her. He wanted to crush her to him with all his heart, but he didn’t, because she was—above all things—fragile and precious. Instead, he gently looped her hair behind her ear. “You are very brave and now that I’m here, I want to be brave just like you. Would you show me how?”
“Yes.” Her smile in her eyes said it all, until it faded. She peeped up at him, brows rumpled with concern. “Are you going to stay with us forever?” she asked. The question was an arrow in the heart.
“I—I want to. I really do.” Why did life have to be so complicated all of a sudden? Oh. Right. Because he was a father. “Hey. I have a question for you. Do you like pancakes?”
She gave a squeal and bounced up and down on his sofa bed. “I love them.”
“Good. Because that’s the only thing I know how to make. You want some breakfast?”
In the end, Emma had to help him, because he had no idea where anything was. Together they made way too many pancakes and then sat and ate and talked about silly and profound things until Nan made an appearance. She stopped short, in her crisp business suit, and stared in horror at the kitchen countertops.
It was only then that Danny realized what a mess they’d made. There was batter everywhere. “Um, don’t worry. We’ll clean it up,” he said immediately.
Emma giggled. “It’s okay. Nan likes messes.”
“And Nan likes pancakes, too,” said Nan, putting two of the leftovers on a plate. “I see you found the blueberries,” she teased her niece.
“Antioxi ants,” Emma said in something of a cheer.
Nan shot him a grin. “You might want to clean this up before Lizzie wakes up, though. She’s the neat freak.”
“Thanks for the tip.” He grinned back. It was surprising how well they were getting along, considering the circumstances. Though, on second thought, it shouldn’t be. Nan was a lot like Lizzie, except that she wore suits and carried a briefcase and argued cases before judges.
“What do you want to be when you grow up, Emma?” he asked after Nan had left for work with a travel mug of coffee and a pancake neatly rolled up in her hand for the road.
Emma smiled—and he was pleased to see it. She’d taken off her mask to eat, but it dangled around her neck, never far away. As they had at dinner, they each sat at one end of the table, as far apart as possible. Small cost to keep his baby safe, he figured.
“I think I want to be a doctor,” she said.
“A doctor!” He raised an eyebrow. “That sounds great.”
“Yes.” Her expression sobered as she set down her fork. “I want to make little kids better when they get sick.”
“I see.”
“Or a veterinarian. ’Cause I really like animals. Or maybe an astronaut.”
“They all sound like great jobs.”
“But I have to get better first. What do you do?” she asked. Right there, out of the blue.
He gulped. What on earth should he tell her? That he’d worked in security for casinos? That he once worked at a liquor store in downtown Vegas that got robbed on a regular basis? That he’d once had a gig as a DJ at a rave? He decided to focus on his new life, rather than his moldy old one. “Well, my family has a ranch and they’ve invited me to work there.”
“Really?” Her eyes lit up. “Do they have animals?”
“They certainly do.”
Emma did a little dance in her chair. “What kind?”
“Good morning.”
Danny’s head spun around at Lizzie’s voice. As he caught sight of her, heat bubbled through him. Damn, she looked fresh in the morning.
Danny grinned at her. “Did you sleep well?”
She shot him a glare as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “’Bout as good as you, I suppose.”
Well, there you go. Nice to know they’d both had a rough night.
“So, you were telling Emma about the ranch,” Lizzie said, but he could tell she was more interested in changing the subject than any burning need to hear about the wide-open ranges of eastern Washington.
Unfortunately, Danny didn’t know much. “They raise cows.”
“Ooh.” Emma nodded. “Cows are big.”
“Yes. Yes, they are.” This much he knew, at least.
“Do they have bunnies there?”
“Ah...” He blinked. “Not sure. Maybe?”
“’Cause I like bunnies. I always wanted a bunny, but Mommy says no. We live in the city. But bunnies are little enough to live in a condo. Don’t you think?” This she asked with a spearing gaze. As though she fully expected Danny to overturn her mother’s proclamation.
“Bunnies are small,” he agreed, and when Lizzie narrowed her eyes at him, he added, “But I heard they can eat through plaster. Your mom might not like holes in the walls.”
Emma’s eyes widened. “Really?”
“Honey,” Lizzie said gently. “You know why you can’t have pets.”
“But when I get better—”
The pain in Lizzie’s eyes surprised him. In an epiphany that made his chest hurt, he realized she wasn’t completely convinced Emma would get better. Not even now that he was here to help. It was a sobering revelation.
He longed to tell them both that he was going to be a perfect match. And Emma would get better. And he’d get her a bunny. Ten of them, maybe. Or two. Two would probably be enough. But he didn’t say as much because he knew he had to honor Lizzie’s concern. And not just because he wanted to make her happy, or because he wanted to be a partner to her in this. It was simply wrong to make promises to a child when you can’t control the outcome.
Though he’d do everything in his power to control this one, and help where he could, because he couldn’t imagine losing the daughter he’d only just met.
“It’s about time to go,” Lizzie said.
Emma’s eyes widened. “Did Dr. Blake say I can come?” she asked.
Lizzie sighed. “He said yes. And he’ll be there to see you, too. Isn’t that nice?”
“Yes. Because he gets to meet my dad.” Emma c
ame to his side and took his hand.
Lizzie’s lips tightened. “Emma, honey, if you’re done eating, sanitize your hands and put on your mask.”
Emma sighed heavily and complied. Danny hated seeing her face disappear again, but then she glanced at him and rolled her eyes in what she clearly felt was unified exasperation on the bunny topic, and he had to smile. “I take it Dr. Blake is your doctor?”
“Aunt Nan says he’s hubba hubba,” Emma said.
“Is he?”
“Mmm-hmm. He thinks my mom is cute. He said so.”
Oh, really? Handsome Dr. Blake had a thing for Lizzie? Something sour swirled among the pancakes in his gut. It didn’t help that, when he glanced at Lizzie, she blushed.
Well, one thing was certain. He wasn’t looking forward to meeting Dr. Blake. Not in the least.
* * *
As it turned out, Dr. Blake was way too good-looking. Danny didn’t like him right away, even though he was professional and kind and greeted Danny warmly when they all met in his office. He greeted Lizzie warmly, too, which Danny found mildly irritating.
“I’m so glad you decided to be tested,” the doctor said as they shook hands. It rankled almost as much as Lizzie’s appreciation comment.
“She’s my daughter,” he said, holding the dude’s hand just a smidgen longer than necessary. Okay. All right. He was a doctor. And, yes, he was doing his best to help Emma. But seriously. Would Lizzie even consider someone like this? He was...young. And what was with the hair gel?
This, of course, led to another, more disturbing question. He hadn’t asked Lizzie if she had a boyfriend. Why hadn’t he asked about that?
Dr. Blake grimaced and pulled back his hand. Flexed it. Then he clapped Danny on the back. “Of course, she’s your daughter. I mean, look at you.” He gestured his clipboard toward Emma, who curtsied. Then he turned the clipboard on Danny. “Now, if you could look over the paperwork? I need your signature on some documents. And if you could fill out this medical history form, that would be great.”
The form the doctor handed him was ridiculous. They wanted to know everything about him and his family history. All he could offer was that his mother had some painful disease called endometriosis. Beyond that, they wanted to know if he smoked, drank excessively, had AIDS or HIV, arthritis, asthma, lupus, spinal problems, hemophilia, history of blood clots, sleep apnea, depression, diabetes...and so much more. Relieved, he checked no on everything and signed with a wide scrawl.
