by Sabrina York
Luke smiled then. A real smile, one that transformed his face, even with the mask on. “Oh, yeah,” he said with a sly glance at Danny. “I think your mom and dad kissing is super gross.”
Everyone at the table laughed, and Danny threw a fortune cookie at his brother, who caught it with one hand and held it aloft like he’d just won the world championship of sibling burns.
Amid the chuckles, Lizzie glanced at Danny then, and saw it there in his eyes. Just happiness. Happiness at being here, being part of this, with the people surrounding him. His joy was a palpable thing.
It was a new day for him, she realized. He wasn’t alone in the world anymore.
And neither was she.
* * *
According to the nurse, it could take anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks to get the results of the swab test they’d taken, and since they didn’t know exactly when the conclusions would come in, they decided that Danny would drive back to the ranch with Mark in his truck, while the others flew back on Luke’s plane.
These arrangements let Danny spend just a little more time with Emma and Lizzie before he had to leave. Before it was time for him to face his new life and go learn how to do something utterly alien to his nature: ranch. He’d never even seen a horse in Vegas that wasn’t in a show, and his few experiences riding had been limited to that one gig accompanying paid day tours on themed trail rides outside the city. All the rest of it—roping and fence repairing and shoveling manure—was all pretty new, too. To say nothing of herding cattle.
But every time he looked at Emma, guilt snaked up his spine. Oh, he would stay in Seattle if he could. He would have slept on that uncomfortable sofa bed for a year if he had to, but he needed to pay off his debt and he really wanted to prove himself to DJ. And Emma needed that health care. Thankfully, Lizzie understood. Still, he promised to come back as soon as he could.
His farewell, when it was time for Danny and Mark to leave, was a reluctant one.
“Can I come and see you?” Emma asked as she clung to his neck.
“Sure, honey. As soon as the doctors say it’s okay.”
She pulled back and stared at him with her lower lip out and tears clinging to her lashes.
It nearly broke his heart.
But Lizzie laughed. “None of that, you little stinker,” she said, ruffling Emma’s curls.
Danny sent Lizzie a quizzical look.
“She’s playing you,” she explained.
“Am not!” Emma huffed a melodramatic sob.
“That lower lip is a dead giveaway. You always pretend-pout when you want your way.”
Emma wrinkled up her face in outrage. “I’m not pretending. I really do want him to stay.”
“I know, honey. But he has to go back to work. Standing there looking cute won’t change his mind.”
He pulled her into another hug. “I’ll come back and see you as soon as I can. I promise. And I’ll call you every night so we can tell each other about our day. How’s that?”
“Okay.” She closed her arms around his neck and clung to him, and the tears on his cheeks weren’t pretend at all.
* * *
As hard as it was to leave, Danny really enjoyed the drive back with Mark. They had a great conversation—mostly Mark telling him stories about growing up on the ranch, Dorthea and Daniel Sr. and, of course, his own father.
It seemed surreal listening to stories about what a great dad Daniel Jr. had been. It didn’t jibe at all with the stories his mother had told him. Granted, one had to consider the source. His mother had lied about many things. But one thing she hadn’t lied about was how broke they’d been his whole life—a look in the fridge would attest to that—and how his loving father hadn’t wanted anything to do with the boy he’d sired. Certainly not enough to help out financially when his mother was between shows.
Considering how Danny felt about Emma, after knowing her for such a short while, he just couldn’t reconcile the two “dads” in his head. What kind of man could be so nurturing and loving to one son and cut the other off from everything? Even his love?
Granted, he’d learned to make a mean mac and cheese because of it.
In the end, he just decided not to dwell on it. The man was dead. There were no answers. No resolution. No reunion. No happy ending here.
Halfway home, Mark stopped at a roadside stand in Thorp, because he wanted to grab some cherries. And by cherries, he meant cherries. With the help of the staff, he started filling bags of them to take home. In the meantime, Danny wandered around the large barn-like store, checking out local honey, flavored nuts and popcorn made with blueberries. Then, he spotted the ice-cream counter. He had to get some, because it made him think of Emma. And because it made him think of Emma, he took a selfie of himself with his dripping double-scoop cone and sent it to Lizzie.
She sent back a laughing emoji and he grinned at the phone like a loon.
Funny how something so small could feel so good. Could make him feel...connected to her.
As he watched the employees of the store load Mark’s cherries, he lapped at his cone and reflected on how good everything was. If things went the way he hoped, Emma would get her transplant. He had a job—with health-care benefits—and he and Lizzie were back together.
Well, not exactly back together. Not by a long shot. But they’d started communicating. That was a good thing. Maybe, if—when—Emma was healthy, they could try to work things out between them.
How awesome would it be if the two of them came to live in Butterscotch Ridge? When he could see them every day?
But a shiver walked through him as a familiar doubt surfaced. Nothing in his life had ever worked out. Why was he so sure this would? Should he even dare to hope?
Somewhere in the dark corners of his soul, he was afraid. Afraid that something bad was coming. And it was going to ruin everything. He didn’t know if he could take it. Not if he lost Lizzie and Emma. Already, they meant everything to him.
He blew out a laugh. Wow. That had happened so fast, hadn’t it? So fast and so hard. With little more than a smile and a kiss, they’d shattered his well-laid ramparts.
Mark slammed the tailgate and waved to Danny, who nodded and headed to the truck, chucking the remainder of his ice-cream cone in a nearby trash can along the way.
Well, he thought with a sigh. There was only one thing he could do, now that his heart was utterly exposed.
Make sure nothing bad happened.
Simple. Right?
* * *
Ranching was a lot harder than Danny imagined it would be. He’d thought it mostly involved riding around on a horse and checking fields and fences.
It wasn’t that.
There was so much more to it than he’d ever realized. In addition to moving herds and repairing fences, there was feeding, calving, vet checks and lots of slopping around in the mud. He was surprised to discover how much he enjoyed it, even though he ended each day exhausted, dirty and aching everywhere. Some days were so busy, he completely forgot to worry about the money he owed Mikey, but he never forgot to worry about Emma. Just as he’d promised, he called her every day, no matter how busy he was.
It became part of his ritual. He’d lie back on the bed with the phone to his ear and listen to Emma talk about her day—with the occasional squeak when she was really excited about something. She’d tell him she hadn’t been feeling well earlier, but felt better now. Then they’d tell each other really bad jokes and then laugh. At some point, she always went into a detailed accounting of everything she’d had to eat that day.
And then Lizzie would come on. His skin always prickled when he heard her calming voice. They’d share the events of their day. It was normal, boring couple chitchat. And he craved every minute of it.
Sometimes it would be bedtime when he called and then he got to help Lizzie read Emma a story.
Of course, he’d had to order all her favorite story books so he could read along and do his parts.
Maybe that was just part of morphing into a dad. Allowing another, much smaller person to dictate your playlist. He didn’t have much experience being a father, but he was pretty sure this wouldn’t be the only thing Emma would change in his life.
All of a sudden, he thought of Christmas. Not the kind he’d had growing up, but the kind he’d seen on The Brady Bunch and other shows, where life was perfect. The kind he’d always wanted. The kind with flickering fires, heavily decorated and tinseled trees and presents. Lots of brightly wrapped presents for children to squeal over.
How wonderful would that be? And with Emma? And Lizzie?
His heart clenched. Oh, yes. That was what he wanted.
A healthy, happy, squealing child.
And a Christmas tree. He’d always wondered what that would be like.
His resolve—to convince Lizzie to come to the ranch when Emma was better—grew firm. More than that. Burned. Like an ache.
What if she didn’t want to come? What if the doctors said they couldn’t?
He’d made a commitment to DJ—well, to all of them, really—that he would stay here for three years. He owed them that. At least.
Because of them—all of them, even Luke—his life had changed for the better. His future looked promising. For once in his life.
Not that Luke wasn’t a fly in the ointment—but something of a sibling rivalry had sprung up between them. It was funny, because the camaraderie with the others was so enjoyable. They were all impressed by his sincere efforts to learn and were eager to welcome him into the fold. Each day seemed to bring them closer.
Except Luke, of course. It was obvious he tried, but it was also clear he enjoyed the hell out of watching Danny struggle. He usually sat on his horse and grinned when Danny made a mistake, but the surly former marine really broke out of his shell whenever Danny unexpectedly parted ways with his steed. He’d stare down at Danny in the dust and howl with uncontained laughter.
In those instances, Luke was utterly unsympathetic.
Fortunately, after a couple of weeks, Danny was getting better on the horse. He hadn’t fallen off in days. Well, if they didn’t count the wobbly dismount this morning.
He groaned as he shouldered off his dirty shirt and headed for the bathroom. He’d really come to appreciate the merits of a really hot, long bath since he’d come here. He’d never really understood the allure before. He’d always been a shower guy. In, out, over.
Now he was a wallower.
He’d run the water as hot as he could stand and soak until his fingers pruned—or until the dinner bell rang—and he enjoyed every damn second.
Pulling off his boots, he was about to strip off his jeans—which were caked in mud—when his phone chirped. He glanced at the text message and his heart stuttered. Lifted.
It was from Dr. Blake.
It had to be the results of his test.
Excitement rippled through him, twined with a hint of anxiety.
But he didn’t delay. He opened the message and read the results.
His breath caught as he stared at the screen.
He shook his head and read the message again, gutted. No.
The cell phone in his hand shook. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe. And, after a moment, couldn’t see.
Swiping his wrist over his eyes, he caught a damp breath. There had to have been a mistake. Someone made a mistake. He held his balled fist to his aching chest and dropped into the chair.
He wasn’t a match. He was not an acceptable donor for his child. His baby.
With a damp sigh, he tromped to the window and stared out at a landscape that should calm his heart. It was peaceful out there, warm and brown. The leaves on the trees in the yard riffled in the breeze. The ripening hay swayed in the distance, harkening the onset of fall. Puffy clouds drifted peacefully, so white against that blue, blue sky.
And the air... He drew in a deep breath of sweet, clean oxygen.
How could one thing be so perfect and another be so horrible? How could he survive feeling so powerless about something that meant the world, that meant everything, to him?
His cell buzzed again and he glanced at it. His heart stopped.
Hell.
It was Lizzie.
What on earth was he going to say to her?
He couldn’t talk to her now. He had to wait. Until he’d processed this.
With a groan at his own cowardice, he tossed the phone onto the bed and scrubbed at his face. How was he going to tell her?
The phone stopped buzzing and he collapsed in the chair. Oh, thank God—
The buzzing immediately resumed.
His gut clenched.
Dammit all. He had to take the call. He had to tell her. Now. He lurched for the phone and answered before he changed his mind.
“Lizzie.” He was well aware his voice was choked.
“Did you hear? Danny? Did you hear? They found a match for Emma!” she cried.
A tsunami of emotion careened through his chest, stealing his breath. “What?” he said. A stupid response to this news, but it was all he could muster.
“They found a donor, Danny. Can you believe it? Oh, they still have to do a couple more tests, but Dr. Blake says it looks really good. Isn’t that great news?”
It was. It was...a miracle.
“So great.” Gratitude rushed through him. Never mind that he’d wanted to be the one—indeed, had been sure he would be the one. All that really mattered was that Emma had a bone-marrow donor. She had a chance now.
“I’m so excited. I wish you were here.” The connection was a little tinny. She sounded so far away. He wished he was there, too. “Would you like to speak to Emma?”
“Yes. Yes, please.”
“Daddy?” His heart soared at the sound of her little-girl voice, but stayed elevated because of that word. He loved it. Daddy.
“Hi, sweetie.”
“Did you hear?”
“I sure did, honey. That’s so great. What are you doing to celebrate?”
“Wearing my tiara.”
He chuckled. “Of course you are.”
“And Aunt Nan made a cake. I wish you were here.”
“I wish I was there, too, honey. I’ll come over soon.”
“Promise?”
He hated to make a promise when he wasn’t sure he could keep it, but this time he knew, come hell or high water, he’d keep this one. “I promise.”
“Yay,” she cheered. “Oh. Mommy wants the phone back. Here.”
“Danny?”
The sound of her voice soothed and excited him. It always did. He leaned all the way back in the chair. “Yeah, Lizzie?”
“I’m sorry. My phone is almost out of juice. I just wanted to...oh, I don’t know. Talk to you again. I’m so happy, Danny.”
“Me, too.”
“The tough part starts now, though.”
“Now?” Yikes. Hadn’t this been hard enough already?
“Yes. We’ll be prepping Emma for the transplant.”
“I’ll come over.” He was ready to go, like, now.
She chuckled. “I only told you that to prepare you for what’s coming, that’s all. Not that you’re not welcome to come. You are. Whenever—” She broke off awkwardly. “I’d love to see you...”
“Well, I want to be there for as much of it as I can. I would like to come. As soon as I can. I just need to clear it with DJ.”
“Of course.”
Wait. Was that a sob hidden in the words? God, he hated phone conversations. He’d much rather be face-to-face. Static hummed, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.
As always, she came through. “Um, how are you enjoying ranching?”
&
nbsp; He huffed a laugh. Surely not one of relief. “My butt hurts.”
“Does it?” He could hear the amusement in her voice.
“Apparently, I’m not very good at staying on horses.”
She did laugh then, probably imagining his slick Las Vegas persona trying to stay astride a bucking bronc.
“I’m learning, though. And loving this place.” He cleared his throat. “It’s a beautiful place. To live. Maybe even to, ah, raise a child.”
“Is it?” Ah. Yes. He heard the smile in her words.
“It is. But there’s more.”
She paused. “Okay.”
“I’m officially on the payroll. That means I have medical coverage. DJ suggested that, well, that I add Emma as a dependent. They accept preexisting conditions.” And, when she didn’t respond, he added, “I mean, she is my daughter.”
“Danny.” Lizzie exhaled on a gust. She sounded out of breath. “Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. Please do put Emma on your insurance. That would be...that would be... Yes. Thank you.” This last bit was a whisper, but he heard her.
Chapter Eight
Lizzie ended the call, then closed her eyes and steadied her head as it spun.
Those two words made a world of difference. Health insurance. The coverage she had for herself and Emma, which she had to buy herself because she was a contract employee, was adequate for most issues. But the cost of a bone-marrow transplant was more than her plan would cover. Secondary coverage would be amazing.
It would be so wonderful not to have to worry about more debt. A huge burden, finally relieved.
Funny, wasn’t it? Danny Diem had once been an immature guy who avoided commitment and lived for the moment, without any thought for the future. But he had changed.
Now, he was thoughtful and kind, working hard to fit in with his new family. He was certainly ready and willing to step up and try to be a father to Emma in every way.
She thought back to that kiss, the night he stayed over before getting tested. How his lips had felt against hers. Was it wrong to assume he was interested in rekindling their relationship, as well? She tried to ignore the ribbon of delight that wove through her at the thought. It was too early for such ideas, no matter how tempted she was to lean into them. No matter what Lizzie wanted, Emma had to come first.
