“That guy’s a douche,” she said, but her eyes filled with fear before she covered it up with a dramatic eye roll. Worry gripped me at the thought that something happened with him, but leaving it was the best option since she probably wouldn’t talk to me about it anyway.
“Ha, took you long enough to figure that out.” I laughed it off, and Rabia snickered next to me, but it didn’t go deep. “So are you guys gonna tell me what’s up or are we going to continue being all awkward?”
They shared another look, then Mia shrugged and Rabia sighed. It took all my strength to not roll my eyes. Oh, dear lord, they were getting on my nerves. “We heard what happened,” Rabia finally said, giving me the sad eyes.
“What happened?” I played dumb. “Are you referring to the fight Cade and I got in? Because that’s no big deal.” I shrugged, but man, oh man, it was a huge lie. It was a big deal. It sucked. I wanted to hang out with him, wanted to laugh with him. Wanted, wanted, wanted to kiss him. Just saying his name out loud all casual like sent a sharp pain through my chest. God, I missed him. “It wouldn’t have worked out with him anyway, you know?”
They looked at each other with wide eyes. So, yeah, it wasn’t what they were referring to. And they obviously had no idea it happened. What can you do?
“You aren’t going out with Cade?” Mia asked, looking mad and a little hopeful at the same time. I knew the bitchiness had to be in there still. “You two were all over each other like a week ago. And didn’t he get in that fight for you? Why would you break it off?”
“Mia,” Rabia chided, still with the sad eyes on me. Man, I loved my bestie, but the pity was no bueno.
“Yeah, not going there with you, Mia, so butt out.” I smiled sweetly in the mirror. “If that’s not what this is about, what’s going on?”
“We were referring to your dance props,” Rabia said, her voice barely above a whisper. “We heard someone ruined them. I believe someone said it was as if they were sent through a wood chipper?”
“Yeah, um, I don’t want to talk about that either.” Looking anywhere but at them was easily done while driving.
Mia snorted, and I ground my teeth together. Rabia was too nice to push it further, but Mia wouldn’t drop it so easy. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” she demanded, leaning forward on the center console.
“Why do you think, Mia?” I snapped, making Rabia flinch.
“Enlighten us, Ava,” Mia drawled. The urge to reach back and strangle her was a prominent one. I stayed silent, not wanting to talk about it—not wanting to talk about anything. Mia leaned forward more, almost getting right in my face. “It’s pretty shitty your best friend had to hear about it from that bitch, Sydney. Just saying.”
Rabia’s entire body was turned toward the window. Mia shoved away from the console, sitting back in her seat when I groaned out loud. “I’m sorry, Rabia.” My voice was a quiet whisper, but her head snapped in my direction as if I shouted at her. The tears glistening in her eyes made my stomach hurt. I pulled into her neighborhood, letting out a sigh. “I just didn’t want to be in the spotlight again, okay? I know I should have said something, at least to you guys, but I mostly wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. And I realize my plan went to shit because Kelsey couldn’t help herself. So now the entire school knows.”
“We’re worried, Ava,” Rabia said when I parked in her driveway.
Her dad was getting out of his car in the garage with her little brother. They both gave us a huge smile and a wave. It was super cute how her little brother looked almost exactly like her, but where her hair was straight as a pin, his was a pile of black, messy curls, and he had two adorable dimples don his cheeks when he smiled. Rabia and I waved at them right before they went into the house. Then she turned in her seat to look at me.
“Someone is obviously trying to hurt you, so you shouldn’t be surprised the people who care about you are worried.”
“I don’t want anyone to worry, though,” I groaned, pushing my hair out of my face. “I just want to finish the year. You both know if our parents found out about this, they would probably pull me out of school or something ridiculous.”
Mia snorted again, and Rabia gave her a sharp look, effectively shutting her up. “It’s understandable you don’t want your parents to find out, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell anyone. That you can’t lean on others to help hold you up.” She opened her door before I could respond. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Please watch out for yourself.”
She was out the door and Mia was getting in the front seat before I could process a thought. Her being mad at me was close to the worst thing that could ever happen, but I didn’t know what to do to fix it. Thankfully, Mia stayed quiet the entire way home. If she got on my case after Rabia had, it would have thrown me over the edge. Maybe her twin sense was tingling and she realized I had enough, or maybe she didn’t care so much now. Whichever was her reasoning, I was glad for it. When we got home, we went inside without saying a word to each other. Mom was in the kitchen, getting something from the freezer.
“Hi, girls,” she said in a huff over her shoulder. Her hair was a frizzy mess, the way mine got on a humid day such as this. “How was your day?”
“Great, I’m going up to my room,” Mia answered, bounding up the steps before Mom could respond.
“Yeah, me too.” I tried to get away with it, but Mom spun around, giving me a sharp look that held me in place.
“You aren’t going anywhere, young lady.” She pointed a finger at me, making me cringe. “You’re going to sit down to have a cup of tea with me.”
My shoulders slumped as I let a sigh out. I wanted to do the whole whiny, “do I have to?” like a five-year-old, but I wasn’t five. My only choice was to put on my big girl panties and face my mommy, who I'd been avoiding for an entire week. “Oookay,” I drew out, trudging to a barstool. She kept a worried eye trained on me as if she were afraid I might bolt upstairs.
“Sit,” she commanded, before turning to start the water.
I sighed again and complied. After all, a cup of tea couldn’t hurt too badly, could it?
After pouring boiling water over tea bags, she sat at the stool next to me, placing my favorite pink and green mug in front of me. She watched as I took a deep breath of the minty aroma. The magic a hot cup of tea could work on a wounded soul never ceased to amaze me.
“You know,” she began after sipping her own tea, “Mia is never one to sit and share with me, and neither was Kai when he lived here. I can always tell when something is wrong with them, but they both like to let it stew, then they usually figure it out on their own—a lot like your dad does. It used to drive him crazy when I would force him to talk things out with me.” She chuckled, took another sip of her tea, then continued while I toyed with my mug, looking anywhere her piercing gaze wasn’t. “Now you, you always wanted to talk, no matter what.”
The sadness in her eyes made my stomach churn. She knew, she knew something was wrong with me, of course. But I hadn’t come to her to talk about it. Hurting her feelings wasn’t my agenda, but I sure was doing a good job of that with everyone lately.
“Even if it was with your dad or Kai or even Mia,” she went on. “You always wanted to get it out. So I’m confused as to why you haven’t come to any of us with whatever is going on. Because I know there is. So… spill it, Ava.”
Tears pricked at my eyes while I continued playing with the mug. It was an open invitation I wasn’t sure I could refuse. Everything bubbled up inside of me, threatening to spill over anyway. So I let it all out. Told her everything. About Cade. About Trent. About my props and my dance.
She held me when my words became unintelligible and I ugly cried—puffy, red eyes and snot everywhere. It was great. When I was all cried out, my head felt like it might explode, but I felt better. Lighter. Mom imparted great wisdom and didn’t freak about the props as I had expected. She was worried but didn’t demand we call the police or tell Dad right away.
Befor
e I excused myself to my room, I made her promise not to tell Dad or Kai about any of it, at least not until I figured some things out. Her two conditions were: I come to her if anything else happened and take a little more time for myself after the concert. She was being way more understanding than I thought she would, so there was no way I would refuse. I needed the break from life in general anyway.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dread filled me while I moseyed to the auditorium for the lunch rehearsal the next day. Rehearsals were usually my favorite, but I hadn’t figured out what to do about my props yet. I had no idea what I was going to tell Ms. Keller but had the slight hope she would kick my dance, so I wouldn’t have to worry.
The only bright point of my day was driving my own car to school. Dad had driven it home the night before, and I got the awesome surprise of it being a new royal blue color. The new paint job was the reason it took longer, which was freaking fantastic and made me love my car even more.
A beaming Kelsey came up beside me when I was halfway to the auditorium. The urge to scratch her eyes out was pretty strong, but I contained myself. Barely. “Good job with the props.” She kept smiling and nodding like an idiot. The scratching urge grew. Was she rubbing it in? Mocking me? “I can’t believe how quickly you got them done.”
“Umm, are you trying to be funny?” I raised my eyebrows.
Her smile faltered and she gave me that, “you really are crazy” look. “No. I just wanted to say good job getting them made up again. I didn’t think you’d be able to do it.” Her lips fell at the edges, as if she regretted coming over to me at all. What she was talking about was beyond me, and I was pretty sure the confused face I made told her as much. “Anyway, I’ll see you over at the auditorium.”
She left me standing there with my eyebrows scrunched up. What in the world was she talking about? I hadn’t been able to do anything with my props, especially not overnight. I couldn’t help hurrying to the prop room with a pounding heart. When I swung the door open, it jumped into my throat. At the front of the room were two blood-red, rolling platforms, with mirrors on them and all. They were so beautiful, my breath caught in my throat and tears pricked at my eyes. God, I was so tired of crying, but this was too good to be true.
The surface of the wood was smooth under my palms when I ran my hands over them. They still smelled strongly of fresh spray paint, but they were dry and ready to use. The mirrors were installed perfectly on both sides of the frames. The girls who stood on them while being pushed around the stage would look amazing. Who did them, I didn’t know, but I owed them big time.
Oh, man, was I excited. My little jig while walking around both of them was interrupted when the piece of paper caught my eye. It was folded in a square, taped to one of the mirrors. I pulled it off and opened it. It only had two words on it, but they had butterflies fluttering in my tummy and my heart aching.
I’m sorry.
C.
Scrawled in his cute chicken scratch. I closed my eyes to keep the tears in. My mom’s words from the night before bounced around my mind. “If you really like him, you should try to work things out.” She had patted me on the cheek, wiping away some of my tears. “But if you think a relationship with him will keep you from going to Vanderbilt, it might be smart to leave things the way they are. It’s your choice, Ava, and you don’t have to make it right away. Think about it.”
With a sigh, I stuck the note in my pocket to cherish for always. Even though I wasn’t going to make my decision right away, didn’t mean I was going to throw it away. The concert and my personal shit were my two main priorities. I could only hope Cade would understand, that he could wait a while longer for me to make up my mind.
I got behind one of the props and pushed it to the other side of the room where there was a door that led backstage. Excitement pulsed through me. My dance was going to kick ass now. The lights were still on onstage and in the auditorium, but girls were moving around in their costumes backstage. All eyes turned on the huge prop and me while I wedged it through the door.
“Oh, Ava, that’s awesome!” One of the girls from my group, Harley, came over to hold the door. “I heard they were done, but I didn’t get to see them. Do you need help getting the other one?”
The fact that not everyone had heard they were ruined the day before was a small relief. Yay me. “Yeah, that’d be great,” I told her, pulling the prop to the wings.
This day was shaping up to be the best day I’d had in the last week. Everyone loved the props, and my dance looked amazing with them. The entire rehearsal went smooth. Not every dance was perfect, but they sure were damn close. Ms. Keller was ecstatic, especially by how my dance turned out, therefore I was elated. I could only hope the concert went as well or even better than our rehearsals.
When rehearsal was done, I had to show Cade some form of appreciation, but I wasn’t ready for a full-on talk with him just yet. It might have been shitty of me, but all I did was send him a quick “thank you” text and that was that. Figuring that situation out would have to wait until the end of the week.
Friday was upon us before I could blink. Since the concert was that night, the dancers were excused from the rest of their classes for the day, so we could prepare. The whole week had been hectic with daily rehearsals. I had even handed over some of my duties for the prom stuff, so I wouldn’t be too stressed out—a huge accomplishment for me.
I was excited for the show, especially since my parents had gotten the night off so they could attend. Even Rabia and Mason were coming to show their support, which was great, since Rabia and I had fixed things the day before. I was glad my bestie couldn’t stay mad at me for too long, even if I was a bitch sometimes. The only one I wasn’t sure of was Cade. I hoped he would. He hadn’t responded to my brief text, and I hadn’t expected him to, but the need to see him was overwhelming.
Everyone rushed around backstage. So far, the dances were incredible, the show flowing smoothly. I stayed in the back, making sure each dance was ready to go onstage, the dancers all lined up right. It was a blast. Getting all dressed up with my makeup and hair—the excited atmosphere of the other girls getting ready—was way too much fun. I loved it all, and it lifted my spirits so much I could almost forget about all the crappiness of the last few weeks.
The show wasn’t too long, and I was only in three dances, but every second of it was perfect. My dance was the very last of the show, and my excitement for it built the entire night. Only three dances before we went on, me and my girls stood on the side of the stage, with our awesome props, ready to go.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Cade
Her dance would come on any second. Of course, I went to watch her. I was still hurt, still a prideful ass, but I couldn’t miss her dancing on that stage. Her two-word text she sent four days earlier bit. It still hurt like a bitch to think about her, to see her walking around campus, but I could get over it. I would get over her. I just had to keep telling myself as much.
Since it appeared she didn’t want anything to do with me, I took Darrel up on his offer. If I didn’t have anything tying me to Portland, I could go anywhere to get my future started. The day she sent me that text, I went home after school and made nice with him.
We talked for a couple hours about where things were going with my mom, before I told him what I wanted to do with the internship. He planned on taking care of my mom, yada, yada, yada. So long as he didn’t burn her in the end, I was okay with the situation for the time being.
He was setting up an interview with one of his agencies located back in Seattle, so I would be going somewhere familiar and not too far from my mom. While doing the internship, I could attend college there. He even said he would pay for my college if I got the internship, which was almost too huge for me to accept. Almost. The interview would be a few weeks before graduation, so I still had time to plan, to get ready for the big step.
Ava’s group came onstage, bringing my thoughts to the here and now
. The rest of the concert was pretty good, especially the other two dances she was in—one of which had her dressed in little black spandex shorts and a sports bra thing, which I hadn’t minded. Who was I kidding? I loved that number.
Her dance was bound to be the best. The lights were exactly as they were the time I saw them rehearse, but with the props in place, it looked whole. Even if things couldn’t work out between us, I was glad I did that for her. Glad I was able to take some stress off her shoulders.
When the dancers started to move, I was drawn in. It was a thousand times better than it was at their rehearsal, which I didn’t believe possible, but it was. The entire crowd was enthralled. The way the mirrors rolled around the stage with dancers on them, made the whole piece come together in a way I could never have imagined. She was an artist, and I hoped she would keep dancing in college, wherever she decided to go—she was too good to stop.
When they hit their final pose, the lights went down and the curtain closed. I started to get up, but the curtains opened back up, the stage crowded with all the dancers. I spotted Ava instantly. She was in the front row but off to the side. It was her smile holding me to my spot. She beamed as if all her dreams had come true. I wasn’t sure I had ever seen her smile that huge, that beautiful, before. Her eyes scanned the crowd, her smile never wavering, until her eyes landed on me. It didn’t waver—it grew even brighter. My heart stopped in my chest, squeezing hard, as if it might explode.
Then Ms. Keller was onstage, talking over the microphone, and Ava’s gaze shifted to her. The woman thanked everyone for coming and thanked all of her students before giving a special thanks to Ava. Some girls came forward holding a huge bouquet of pink roses, handing them over to Ava who had tears sparkling in her eyes. I was glad they did something special for her—she deserved so much. I waited for her gaze to find mine again, but it never did. Had I imagined it before? I must have. She wouldn’t smile so hugely at me—not when I’d screwed everything up.
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