Could I use it for the night? It’s kind of urgent, but don’t tell Mom.
Sure, kid. Just don’t
do anything stupid. I’ll
be by in the morning.
I groaned out loud as I sent back an “okay.” Being called “kid” was my least favorite thing. But he was being cool about me using his place, so I couldn’t complain. Though, of course, he would be by in the morning. This meant I had to have Ava sobered up by then, so he wouldn’t think anything nefarious had gone on.
She was completely passed out when I got in the car but still breathing, which was a good sign. Maybe, with some luck, she wouldn’t throw up the contents of her stomach in my car. Keeping my fingers crossed, I drove us across town to Darrel’s apartment building as fast as humanly possible while staying within the speed limit.
Only a block away, she started making some pretty disagreeable noises. I reached over, brushing her clammy cheek. “We’re almost there,” I told her in a low tone as she snuggled up to my hand with her eyes still closed. How she was able to continue being sweet when she was about to throw up everywhere was beyond me.
When I pulled up to the industrial apartment building, her groaning kicked up a notch. I muttered multiple expletives as I pulled into the parking garage. The key he had given me a long time ago in case I ever needed to use the flat was in the glove box. Rushing around to her side, I scooped her up in my arms and made a beeline for the elevator. I shifted her in my arms to use the key to open the elevator doors. With her eyes closed, she continued to groan and squirm in my arms while the elevator moved up to the top floor. The only way I could comfort her was by kissing her forehead again.
“Only a few more minutes,” I muttered under my breath, looking down at her to see her staring at me. Her eyes were wide, her face pale as a sheet, making my chest tighten. “You okay?” I asked, staring deep into those steely grays, when she didn’t say anything.
When she shook her head, I didn’t know what else to do for her, besides get her up to the apartment as fast as possible. The elevator dinged, doors sliding open into a long hallway. I hurried to the end of it as she clung onto me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Shifting her in my arms again, I got the door open and rushed inside. Right inside the door, she squirmed in my arms, shoving against my chest.
“Let me down,” she demanded in a panic.
“Let me get to the bathroom,” I told her, taking long strides down the short hallway.
She hopped from my arms, then stumbled inside the large bathroom, slamming the door in my face. The sink and even the exhaust fan were turned on before she got sick. It was awful, standing outside the door, not knowing how to help. I had my share of bad hangovers, but I hadn’t ever taken care of someone going through it.
As weird as it sounded, I wanted to be in there with her, holding her hair, comforting her, but she obviously didn’t want that. So I went to the kitchen. Finding a glass in the first cupboard I opened, I filled it with water from the fridge, then went back to the bathroom. Every muscle in my body tightened at the sound of her retching.
When there was a pause, I tapped on the door. “Ava, can I please come in there?”
“God, no,” she groaned, before starting up again.
To keep from banging on the door, I clenched my fists at my sides. It was freaking ridiculous standing there doing nothing. I tried the handle. In her haste, she had missed the lock. Deciding she could be mad at me later, I went inside.
A while later, we sat on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall, her tucked against me with her head resting on my shoulder. After getting it all out, she had cried, which was awful. I didn’t know if the tears were because of me or the alcohol, but the thought I might be at fault made me hate myself.
I wasn’t sure if she was still awake, until she sighed heavily. “This sucks,” she muttered, and I chuckled, earning a smack on the arm that I barely felt. “Don’t laugh. How is it I just threw up what had to be everything in my stomach, but I still feel very drunk?”
“Your body soaked up a lot of alcohol before you threw it up.” My laugh was held in. It was hard not to find it comical. She was so stinking cute. Even after seeing her in the compromising position of her head in the toilet, I still thought so. Shifting out from under her, I got up from the floor. “Let’s get you to bed.” I held out a hand to help her up.
With a grimace, she took it, letting me help her to her feet. When she wobbled, I picked her up again before she could protest. She probably could have walked just fine, but I enjoyed holding her close. “Ugh, Cade. I can walk,” she complained, pushing on my chest, but I only held on tighter.
I went to the only room in the apartment, shunning thoughts of what might have gone on in the bed. She needed a comfortable place to sleep. She gave the king-sized bed and other furniture an apprehensive stare, murmuring, “Where are we?”
I really didn’t want to explain, since she was certain to ask questions when I told her whose house it was. “Um, it’s a long story that can wait until tomorrow. We’ll be good for tonight, okay?” Her eyes drooped, which made sense since it was almost four. “I’m setting you down for a sec.”
She nodded when I set her on her feet next to the bed. Swaying slightly, she used the nightstand for support, while I pulled the blanket and sheet back. She didn’t argue when I put her on the bed and pulled her worn, blue Chucks off. She snuggled in, her eyes instantly closing.
“Want me to wake you up in an hour for your run?” I whispered with a smirk.
She cracked her eyes open to glare at me, making me chuckle. Her eyes shuttered closed when I brushed her hair off her face before pecking her on the cheek. I couldn’t help myself. Nor could I keep from lingering too long, breathing her in, brushing my lips back and forth over her soft cheek. “Sleep good, Ava,” I breathed.
“You know,” she muttered but kept her eyes shut, “I wanted to have sex with you tonight.”
My breathing stopped, a weird noise escaping my throat. She cracked her eyes again, as if to see my reaction, and I tried to recover with a smile but couldn’t quite fake it. This perfectly beautiful, intelligent girl wanted to have sex with me, and I totally blew it. Of course, I wanted to. I wanted to fix it. I hoped I could. Not just to have sex with her, obviously, but to be with her.
Brushing my thumb over her cheek, I smirked and muttered, “There’s always another day.” She gave me this pleading look. God, she had no idea how hard it was to say no, but I would never take advantage of her. Never. I kissed her forehead, then stood abruptly, clearing my throat. “I’ll be out on the couch, so if you need anything, just yell, okay?”
Without waiting for a response, I turned, but she grabbed my hand to stop me. I looked down at her to be met by those smoldering grays. “Won’t you stay with me?” She pouted in a sleepy slur.
What the hell was I supposed to do with that? I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I couldn’t stay. If I did, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I was only human. I couldn’t do that, though. Not like this. If we ever did do that, she would be sober… and hopefully not mad at me. I rubbed my free hand over my neck and gripped her hand with my other.
“I can’t, Ava.” I sighed when her brow creased. I leaned down, so our faces were only a few inches apart. “You have no idea how badly I want to, but I can’t.” I kissed her, crushing my lips to hers, but only long enough to let her know just how badly I wanted her. “I’ll be on the couch. Try to get some sleep because tomorrow is going to seem so much worse than tonight.”
She only nodded when I squeezed her hand one last time before leaving the room. I settled on the black, leather couch in the living room without a pillow or blanket. I was too exhausted to look around for them but also too caught up in thoughts of Ava in the other room to be able to fall asleep right away. There was a good chance I wouldn’t be sleeping at all.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ava
Waking up in an unfamiliar room and not q
uite remembering how I got there was very disorienting. The addition of a skull-splitting headache made it seem a thousand times worse. My stomach felt awful, as if I had eaten some really bad food and it still wasn’t all out. Sitting up in the huge bed, I took in the room. It was dark, but I wasn’t sure if it was outside because of the black drapes over the windows. The dresser, nightstands, and headboard were all black with silver accents, and a huge, flat screen TV hung adorning the wall above the dresser. I had no idea where I was, but it had to be a guy’s room. I didn’t know any girl who wouldn’t want some color in their room.
While I looked around, I tried really hard to remember the night before. I could kind of remember Cade tucking me into the bed, but if he had tucked me in, where was he? I was the only one in the bed, so he obviously hadn’t slept with me, which I was glad about, right? Wasn’t I still mad at him for being all over Sydney? Or had we made up or something while I was drunk? My feelings were jumbled up, and it hurt my head trying to sort them out. The most important question was, where the hell was I?
I carefully slid from the bed, finding my Chucks on the floor next to me. After putting them on, I left the room, trying to ignore the pain throbbing in my head and my queasy stomach. A bathroom was a necessity. Luckily, the door to the bathroom across the hall was open, so I didn’t have to look too far.
I relieved myself and then found a still-in-the-package toothbrush after scrounging under the sink—how lucky was I?—which I used, since my mouth tasted awful. Down the hall to the living room was where I stopped dead in my tracks. There he was, lying on his back with an arm thrown over his eyes. The sun peeked through the drapes covering a sliding door at the back of the room.
Since he was still sleeping, I planned to sneak out and take off. But realized I couldn’t, since he drove me in his car. Shit. All my stuff, my phone, my keys, everything was back in my car at Kelsey’s.
Sighing, I went to the couch to wake him. But when I got to him, I couldn’t wake him. He looked so peaceful, yet sexy at the same time. His shirt was pulled up a little, revealing his tanned stomach, and his black briefs peaked out from under his jeans. A memory from the previous night—or was it morning—smacked me in the face. I was pretty sure I told him I wanted to have sex with him while he tucked me in. I thought I even begged a little.
Oh, dear Lord, kill me now.
Since I was the one who kept him out so late, I would let him sleep a bit longer. But when I started toward the kitchen, he sat up with a loud gasp, making me jump. “Ava.” He jolted to his feet. A step backward had my butt bumping into the breakfast bar, trapping me. With his hands held out, he approached me in a slow manner. “You okay?” he asked, his voice strained.
Not knowing what to say, I nodded. But nodding hurt, so I stopped. An apprehensive look in place, his approach halted. He should have been apprehensive. He should have been groveling at my feet. During the last non-alcohol-soluble conversation I remembered having with him, I was pissed and hurt.
The memory of Sydney latched onto his lips, his hands in her hair, made my head pound and bile rise up my throat. Worry and pain flashed through his eyes before I clenched mine shut and breathed deeply, hoping to force the acid back down.
I remembered taking shots with Jake after our fight, then most everything after was a blur. There was dancing, Cade’s and my sweaty bodies rubbing together. The thought had blood rushing up my cheeks. I kind of recalled him carrying me to the car, then again into this strange apartment.
He had hurt me, but I remembered him being sweet and taking care of me, even at my lowest point of the night with my head in a toilet. The need to be angry with him was strong, mostly because my head was pounding, but I couldn’t be. We weren’t a thing—we weren’t together, so he had every right to make out with whomever he wanted, even if she was a disgusting skank.
When I opened my eyes, he was watching me from a good ten feet away, still looking uneasy. At a loss for words, I gripped the gray granite countertop, wanting nothing more than to get my car and go home. But with how bad my head hurt, I wasn’t sure I could drive. “Is there Tylenol here?” I asked, my voice cracking.
He blinked a few times. “Yeah… yeah.” With a shake of his head, he rubbed his hands over his face before approaching me.
When I shrank back, unsure what he was doing, he sighed before reaching over my head to the cabinet behind me. Feeling like an idiot, I moved out of the way. While he rummaged around, I glanced at the clock on the wall and cringed. It was still really early. He probably hadn’t gotten much sleep. Well, neither had I, but apparently no hangover was going to keep me from waking up close to my usual time.
He pulled a glass and a bottle of Tylenol out then dumped a few pills from the bottle and filled the glass with water from the fridge. The heat that ran up my arm from our fingers touching was ignored when I took both from him.
While looking anywhere but at him, I chugged half the glass and downed the pills. It appeared we were in an upscale apartment, which was all black furniture, gray floors, and some industrial décor scattering the walls. Frankly, I had no clue where we were, and it made me uneasy. Not because I was scared of him but because I just wanted to get my car and not deal with this crappy situation.
Continuing to watch me, he leaned against the counter with a tightened jaw, while I downed the last of my water. Finally letting my gaze meet his, I cleared my throat. The dark circles under his eyes had a slight twinge of guilt panging through my chest. Not only had I kept him up super late and woke him up early, but I was pretty sure he had lost some sleep over the last week because of my bitchiness.
“So, ummm… where are we?” I asked while playing with the glass in my hands.
With his brow creased, he glanced around, as if he forgot where we were. Then looking down, he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “This is my dad’s place,” he told me with a shrug, but his answer threw me off. I had never met his dad, and he never talked about him except the one time. Being in his dad’s apartment was weird—all the more reason for me to get out of there.
“Okay.” I nodded as if his answer explained everything, then shifted my feet around until I was standing next to the island in the middle of the fancy kitchen. “Um, I know it’s still a little early, but could you take me to my car?”
He gave me this look full of agony and anger. What the heck did he have to be angry about? Pushing off the counter, he crowded me against the island, stopping when our faces were only inches apart. “I’ll take you after we talk this out,” he said through gritted teeth, making my hackles rise.
With a glare, I shoved against his chest, forcing him a step back. “There’s nothing to talk about.” My hands balled into fists at my sides.
“Yes, there is,” he argued, stepping close again, caging me against the island with a hand on either side of me. “I’m not letting you shut me out again. It’s been a week, a whole week of you ignoring me, even after that stunt with your props. I know I screwed up, but we need to talk.”
“I don’t want to.” My glare remained but only in attempts to cover the hurt. “I went there to apologize. I knew I was being awful and unreasonable, but I just wanted to get through the concert. And I know I have no right to be angry or hurt or even feel betrayed because we aren’t a thing, but the image of you two is freaking burnt into my brain.” The last part came out strained, making the agony take over his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he croaked, his throat bobbing. “I’m so sorry. You know how I feel about you. I’m freaking crazy about you. But I thought you hated me because I hated myself for losing control like that. And the thought you never wanted to be with me killed me. I thought you wouldn’t ever talk to me again, and I made an enormous mistake. I don’t have any feelings whatsoever for Sydney. Like I said last night, I just wanted to get you out of my mind, which is a lame excuse, but it’s the truth, and it didn’t even work.”
He paused, his eyes shifting back and forth, searching mine. I wanted to bel
ieve him, I wanted to so, so bad. Before going on, he dropped his head, his shoulders slumping. “I’m not the perfect guy, and I have a lot of really bad habits I tried to leave behind in Seattle. That was one of them. I used to move from one girl to the next, thinking of them as disposable. Last night, I fell into that thinking, but it didn’t work because I haven’t been able to look at it the same since I met you.”
His words chipped away at my resolve, and I wanted them to. The thought of him bouncing from girl to girl, of him being with Sydney, made my heart ache, but he was finally sharing some of his past with me. That meant more than any other gesture could. He met my gaze again, about to say something else, but I reached up and placed a hand on his cheek.
“Tell me more,” I whispered, earning a confused look from him. “Tell me about your past. I want to know.”
His jaw tightened, his gaze hardening for a second before he rubbed a hand over his face with a sigh. Talking about it probably wasn’t his favorite thing, but I wanted to know. Without warning, he picked me up to set me on the counter and put himself between my legs. My head was still killing me, and I still felt icky, but it all got shoved to the back of my mind by the heat erupting everywhere from him being so close.
With an intense gaze, he told me everything. Every emotion played across his face as he told me about how his dad was while he was growing up. How he went on long business trips, then made his mom cry every time he came back. His mom was always miserable and she smoked, which led to him starting when he was thirteen because he thought he was a badass.
Even though I felt for him, hated everything he’d gone through, that part made me smile because he really was a badass, but without the smoking. Smoking led to pot and other things, including girls. It wasn’t easy to hear, but his story drew me in, every word causing me to lean closer.
Then he told me his mom finally decided to leave Darrel for good. They made a deal to stop smoking together and leave all the other bad habits behind. But now his dad was back, and he was afraid his mom would get hurt again. I held onto and cherished everything he shared with me. It wasn’t pretty, wasn’t perfect, but it made him who he was and made me proud of him for trying.
Ava (A Hart Twins Novel Rx Book 1) Page 19
