by Anna B. Doe
His eyes immediately roamed over her. He didn’t see a scar or a scratch. “Jesus, AJ. Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry. We had a stressful morning as it was with Miller and her missing toy and then the Christmas tree … I didn’t want you to worry or tarnish your shopping day with our daughter.”
“Alexandra,” he breathed her full name. “You mean more to me than you realize. I would have dropped everything to take you to the hospital.”
“I know, but it’s okay. It was just exhaustion, I promise. Professor Miller is letting me start winter break early.”
There was a gleam in his wife’s eyes that he didn’t trust, but because of how exhausted she was, he dropped it. He was just glad that her father was with her when she went to the hospital.
“Hey,” AJ said in a low voice as she set the toy between them and cradled his jaw in the palms of her cold hands. He missed her warmth and would ask Noel to turn up the heating for her. “I promise, I’m fine. I’m just tired.” Then she pressed her lips to his in a sweet kiss, and it was enough for his worries to fade a fraction.
Chapter Four
Evan
The remaining five days before Christmas were a dream. The mornings spent with his wife and daughter were easy and sweet, and he hated that he had to leave for work. AJ was starting to look better, but Evan hadn’t missed how tired she still was when he came home from work. She continued to reassure him that she was okay, but he had his doubts as Christmas crept closer. Thankfully, on Christmas Eve as they baked cookies with their daughter, AJ appeared happy with some color in her cheeks again. There was no doubt it was the spirit of Christmas and her excitement to bring out the presents for when their daughter woke. And like the Christmases before, Miller was up bright and early, running into their bedroom to wake them to see if Santa, the elves, and the reindeer had visited.
Watching his daughter hold his wife’s hand as they went down the stairs to open presents was another reminder for him to cherish those moments. That Evan had done all he could to bring them another Christmas of love and happiness. As Miller tore away wrapping paper, he watched his perfect family with a smile by the fireplace. Yeah, Evan hadn’t gotten a lot right when he was in college when he had pushed AJ away, but he never gave up. He hoped for her, and he was glad he never stopped. Because that beautiful little girl who had his smile and his wife’s eyes was the light of his life. And her mother, she was the absolute love of his life. They were the oxygen in his lungs and the beat in his heart. AJ and Miller were his purpose.
“I miss you, Poppy,” Miller said to AJ’s grandfather on FaceTime. His wife’s grandparents weren’t able to fly to Massachusetts from Melbourne, Australia, these holidays after Grandpa Marcus had hurt his back. AJ had been disappointed, but her mother’s father had flown to New York a few days ago to spend Christmas with her cousins before her New York family drove up to spend the New Year with them.
“Oh, sweetheart, Poppy misses you. I promise to visit you soon. Nanny sends her love. We love you, Miller.”
“Love you, too!” she said, puckering her lips for an air kiss before she handed the phone to AJ.
“Swear to God, Alexandra, the moment my back heals, that little girl is getting spoilt rotten when I see her,” Grandpa Marcus promised.
AJ laughed as she opened the front door to her parents’ house. “I have no doubt. Send my love to Uncle George and Aunty Penny. I wish you were all here this year. We’ll FaceTime a little later. Enjoy the rest of your Christmas. Love you all.”
“Love you, too,” her grandfather said. “You, too, Evan.”
Evan peered over his wife’s shoulder and waved at her grandfather. AJ’s family had always welcomed him into their lives when he was just her best friend. To be at the receiving end of their love as her husband for the past five years had truly been a blessing. “The feeling’s mutual, Grandpa Marcus. Send my love to Grandma Louise.”
Once AJ hung up, Miller wiped her snow-covered black boots on the welcome mat and entered the house. Evan followed his wife inside and closed the door as Miller took off her boots and red coat and waited patiently by the hook.
“I’ve got you, my love,” Evan said as he set his in-laws’ presents—that Santa had left under their tree at home—by the door and scooped up his daughter. Like she did with their family tree’s star, she put it on the hook with so much care.
“Merry Christmas, Mum,” AJ said as she walked over to her mother at the foot of the staircase. “Where’s Dad and Seb?”
Clara hugged her daughter and smiled. “Merry Christmas, Alexandra. Your father and brother are in the living room.” Then she walked over to Evan and kissed his cheek. “Merry Christmas, Evan.”
“Merry Christmas, Clara,” Evan greeted as he handed her his daughter who wrapped her arms tightly around her grandmother.
“Happy, happy Christmas, Grandma.”
She grinned at her granddaughter. “And Merry Christmas to you, my sweet Miller.”
Evan watched as his mother-in-law whispered to his daughter that Santa had left her a present under the tree. The love in Clara’s eyes was one he saw as he grew up as their next-door neighbor. He knew his life would have been different had she not given him her love and kindness. She never needed to, and he owed so much of his life to the Parkers for letting him and his brother be a part of their family.
“Hey,” AJ said in a soft voice as she stepped in front of him and set her hands on his hips. “Everything okay?”
He nodded, content with the life he had and shared with the beautiful woman who had carried his child. “Everything’s perfect.”
Her head tilted. “Even if your parents weren’t able to come to Boston for the holidays?”
Evan couldn’t be mad at their decision to stay in Chicago. His parents were brokering a deal to sell their business so they could move back to Massachusetts to be close to him, Kyle, and Miller. They were trying, and that was all Evan could have ever wanted from them. When Miller needed them or missed them, his mother and father dropped everything to be there for her. They had made mistakes raising him and Kyle, but when his daughter was born, they vowed never to repeat them.
“Even though they couldn’t be here,” he assured.
“Good,” she whispered as her hands trailed up his body to settle on the sides of his neck. “I have an extra Christmas present for you.”
His brows furrowed. This morning he had opened his presents from his wife and daughter. They had gotten him custom-made socks with Miller’s drawings and a new briefcase for work. “AJ, you and Miller got me more than enough for Christmas.”
She shook her head. “This is just for you and me. I want to spend Christmas with you.”
Evan was hit with the fond memory those words delivered. They had been high school seniors afraid of their own feelings toward each other. AJ knew how she felt while Evan had been in denial and chose to ignore them. It seemed like so long ago now.
As if they were back at that moment, he repeated the words she had breathlessly said to him, “With me?”
“Just you.” Her smile stretched wider and the fondness was bright in her eyes.
“You know that’s impossible,” he recited. It had been then when it had just been her parents and his brother. Now they had to factor in their daughter.
AJ’s thumb brushed along his bottom lip as a knock came from the door. Normally, she’d pull away, but she didn’t. She kept them at this moment. “For a moment, after Christmas lunch, just spend it with me, away from my parents, your brother, and our daughter.”
As he heard his brother announce his arrival, Evan nodded and whispered, “Okay,” before he kissed his beautiful wife.
Chapter Five
Evan
The anticipation of AJ’s surprise had him on the edge of his seat. It wasn’t the actual present that had him excited. No, it was the chance to get away and relive one of their better moments and Christmases. It was the Christmas he had given her the oxygen ne
cklace she still wore to this day. This Christmas, Evan had gifted Miller a small bracelet version for her to wear since AJ didn’t want her wearing necklaces just yet. Some might have their heart on their sleeves, but his daughter had his entire life on hers. Like the Christmas lunches before, Clara made a delicious roast that surpassed the year before’s. His brother updated everyone on his fitness while Noel gloated to Kyle that Seb was more interested in hockey than baseball. It was probably for the best that AJ’s little brother enjoyed hockey and put some distance from the Gilmores. After all, he was a Parker, and Parkers tend to dominate whatever world they step into. As remarkable as this Christmas was, there was hostility at the table. A woman everyone knew had occupied the space of another.
“Clara, would you like some help clearing the table?”
AJ’s mother’s smile was bittersweet. She couldn’t hide the caution Evan saw. “I would love that, Angie.” Then she glanced over at Kyle, and the plea in them was heartbreaking. She silently begged him to stop the charade, but his brother looked away, and he started to ask Seb about peewee hockey.
Evan watched as Clara, Angie, and Noel started to clear the table, leaving him and AJ with the kids and Kyle. As he glanced over at his brother, sorrow filled him, hating that his brother was still engaged to the woman who exiled another. Evan thought of Camille Danford and all the times she had made his brother happy, but Angie came back, and it had been a scandal that drove Camille away. It had been years since anyone had heard from her. Evan had even seen her mother a few months back. She had smiled sweetly and walked past him, not wanting anything to do with him. He was the brother of the man responsible for her daughter fleeing Boston.
As Evan was about to ask Kyle how he was, AJ covered his hand with hers. “I promise we won’t be gone for too long,” she reassured with words he had given her so many years ago. They had snuck away last time, but this time they couldn’t. “Kyle, do you mind keeping an eye on Miller and Seb for a little bit?”
Kyle nodded, but he wouldn’t meet AJ’s gaze—which was worrying for Evan. “Sure,” he said as AJ stood from her chair and urging Evan up from his.
AJ kissed the top of Miller’s head as she ate the shortbread cookies Clara had made. “Mummy and Daddy will be right back, okay, my love?”
Miller nodded as Kyle took AJ’s seat so that he was next to the kids. “Okay, Mummy.”
Evan kissed his daughter’s cheek before his wife took his hand and led him out of her family’s home and into the snowy Christmas afternoon. The glare from the bright white snow had him squinting his eyes as he followed AJ to his childhood home next door. As if she sensed that his mind was elsewhere, she sighed.
“I hate how unhappy he is, too, Evan,” AJ mentioned as they walked through the snow-covered path to Kyle’s house next door. The house Evan had sold to him after their parents had given him the deed as a college graduation present. Though it was Kyle’s house, he refused to live in it after Camille left.
Evan nodded, understanding his wife’s sorrow for his brother. “I know he’s at fault, but he’s my brother, and I hate seeing him suffer. Camille changed him for the better. I’m not saying I don’t like Angie, but she left him, and he was moving on. Then she came back and …”
“He broke Camille’s heart, Evan,” she reminded him with a sigh as they walked up the steps. AJ pulled out the spare key Kyle had given them for emergencies and slid it into the lock. Then she looked at him. “And I don’t hate Angie, either, but we have to do a better job of making her feel welcomed. Camille would have wanted that. She’s gone. She’s been gone for years.”
“I just want him to be happy.”
Pulling the key from the lock, AJ returned it to her jacket pocket and opened the door. “I want that, too,” she said with hope thick in her voice for his brother. Even growing up, she had hoped so much for Kyle and his happiness. “Come on. We don’t have a lot of time. Let’s celebrate our Christmas.”
Realizing that his troubling thoughts and worry over his brother might have affected his wife, Evan shook his head and focused on AJ. She had put so much thought in making today special. It should have been him that made this much effort. Sure, he bought her a book she had wanted, but was it the same as revisiting a moment that changed their lives?
Next Christmas, I’ll do better by you, AJ.
AJ held his hand and walked him into the house Kyle refused to call home without Camille. Kicking the door closed behind them, Evan took the lead, remembering this part of the memory. He ushered his wife up the stairs, down the hall, and to his childhood bedroom in no time at all. Once inside, he was surprised to see the once empty bedroom had a Christmas tree by the window with lights all over the wall, and mistletoe above the wooden window frame. The guilt that his Christmas present for her hadn’t lived up to her effort festered in his chest. AJ has been unwell for the past week, and she still managed this surprise.
“I just got you a book,” he said in a heavy voice as he faced his wife.
She dragged him to the window and softly cupped his cheek with the hand that his ring settled on. The same ring he placed on her finger when he married her months after their daughter was born. To this day, he couldn’t believe that his forever was with AJ. His best friend. The mother of his child. The love of his life.
“Evan.” Her voice was low. “It’s not just a book. Niels Bohr’s On the Quantum Theory of Line-Spectra is the framework of modern quantum theory. It’s what my dissertation is trying to remodel and prove that there’s more to quantum theory than we’ve already discovered. It’s also my husband’s belief in and understanding of me. You understand my needs, Evan. You knew Bohr’s doctorate was what I needed.” AJ glanced around the room. “These are just lights, some mistletoe, and a Christmas tree in your old room.”
Reaching up, Evan wrapped his fingers around his wife’s wrist, wanting to hold her. “They symbolize a memory, AJ. One of our good ones. This means …” He breathed out and took in the room. The only room that felt warmth when he was a kid because of his best friend. His eyes landed on his soul mate. “Everything. This means everything to me, AJ. It’s a reflection of the moment I told you I loved you without even realizing how true those words were. I meant them then, and I mean them now. I’ll always mean them. Eight protons …”
In the years since their love became requited, she had come to finish his declaration of love and made them her own, too. As he waited for her to say the words, AJ pulled her hand from his face and reached into her jacket pocket.
Then she presented him a folded card and whispered, “Eight neutrons.”
Evan’s brows furrowed as he took the card. He lifted his eyes to find her encouraging smile. Unfolding the card, he lowered his gaze and his eyes widened at the black and white image.
“AJ,” he breathed in shock.
“Merry Christmas, Evan.”
He looked at his wife. The last time she gave him the news of Miller, it had been at Fenway Park, but in this spot, at this moment, she gave him a gift he could never top. Not that he ever wanted to.
Evan pressed his palm gently on her stomach. “You’re pregnant.”
AJ nodded with a laugh and tears in her eyes. “What’s another little atom in this universe?”
“Oh, my God, you’re pregnant!” Then it hit him as his hand fell away from her stomach. “That’s why you’ve been sick and tired.”
“Yes,” she confirmed. “I found out last week at the hospital. I’m eight weeks, so we can’t tell anyone just yet. I had a feeling, but I thought I was exhausted from working hours upon hours on my dissertation.”
Evan’s body seized up. “AJ, your Ph.D.—”
His wife’s soft touch distracted him as she cradled his jaw. She had pushed back starting her Ph.D. when she was pregnant with Miller, and another baby could delay her completion. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Thankfully, I’m in my last year. We’ll be okay, right?”
He nodded. The thought of AJ pregnant again brought a
tremor to his chest. Another baby should scare him, but he wanted to add to their family. To give Miller the blessing of becoming a big sister. That glow AJ had with Miller, she’d have it again with a little atom that would grow with their love.
“God, yes,” he breathed as if he’d been waiting forever to hear that he’d be a new dad again. Evan glanced down at their baby and smiled, tears filling his eyes. The last time he held an ultrasound for the first time, he had been AJ’s ex-boyfriend. This time, he was her husband, and it felt so damn right.
There was much to do, to alter, to change, but he couldn’t wait. But for now, everything was right and perfect as he wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife.
“Because our children get to have you as their father,” she added as if she hadn’t just taken his breath away.
Evan pulled her closer and shook his head in utter awe of her. “No, AJ. We’re okay because our children have you as their loving mother.”
Tears slipped down her face as she brought her lips just shy of his. “I can’t wait for our baby to love you just as much as our daughter loves you. You might be their sun and moon, Evan, but you’ll always be my oxygen. Merry Christmas, my love.”
Somewhere between their kiss under the mistletoe, he whispered, “Thank you for my children, AJ. Thank you for loving me. For giving me this life and our family.” When he pulled back, he looked into his love’s stunning green eyes and felt his heart clench tightly, reminding him that she was, is, and always will be the one.
His AJ.
His best friend.
His soul mate.
The love of his life.
His eight protons.
And forever his eight neutrons.
Books By Len Webster
The First Touch of Sunlight
The Wait For You
Damn You, Whiskey: a short story
The Sometimes Moments Collection
