by Elise Jae
“I’ve been told there are bond mates who sleep in separate rooms. That--especially at the start--it can be too distracting to share a bed at night.
I glance back down the hall and see her for the brief moment before she moves further into the room.
She looks so fragile.
Like these bags would have been too much for her to handle.
That’s ridiculous, I know. But there’s something that makes me think I’m going to break her.
I’ve never heard of it happening before… but it’s not like anyone would admit to it.
A chill races down my spine.
There are no women here anymore… none that aren’t already bonded. And while there are some who freely share their bondmates, it’s not a practice I was ever able to stomach. Taking something--someone--that wasn’t mine wasn’t possible.
So, all I have to go off of is the sims. And digital women are so far from real that I have no idea if I’m going to get through the first night without hurting her.
I’ve been told it’s all instinct and that the bond means I have nothing to worry about, but still….
Taking a deep breath, I return to the main rooms.
She’s standing at the window when I get back. Head tipped up to stare at the flat white of the sky. We’ll have more snow tonight.
I have to stop at the end of the hall. Not daring to move closer until I have the image of her branded into my mind.
If Drift knew, he’d laugh his ass off. But he’d always been certain the universe gives us exactly what we need, when we need it.
And maybe she’s all I’ve ever needed.
Core would tell me I needed to take her now. Get the claiming over with.
So, she can’t leave.
Not that I’d ever heard of a woman leaving her potential bondmate….
And I would be lying to myself if I tried to pretend the idea of that didn’t scare me more than the monsters I had to guard against.
It doesn’t matter that it’s exactly why she’s here. Doesn’t matter that I want to pull her to me… and never let go.
I just can’t do it.
Now is not the time to create that bond.
She’s got a whole planet and so much more to get used to. Dragging her to one of those hotels would have been efficient, but also… a little too much.
Too soon.
And it was time to have part of the conversation that was definitely too much, too soon.
THREE
LAUREL
The landscape out the window is frozen. A textbook example of the word desolate.
I hadn’t particularly thought about the place in which I’d live when I’d call another planet home. But this definitely wasn’t what I’d pictured.
“We call it the Shadow Zone,” he said from somewhere behind me. “Beyond that ridge is the Forbidden Territory. There are… things that live out there, in the interior caldera. Things that like to hunt us.”
With a low chuckle, I say, “Here be dragons.”
“What?”
“A long, long time ago, maps were made with illustrations of monsters. Where ships would go missing inexplicably. Superstitions... but still useful when avoiding danger, you can’t see.”
“This is a danger we can see… most of the time.”
He steps beside me and I sway a little, toward his body heat.
“The ridge provides a natural defense, so most of the time you don’t have to worry about them creeping over the edge.”
“The ridge, and you.”
“Us. There are a dozen or so of us placed along this side of the exterior caldera.”
I’d seen the blades beside the front door on my cursory inspection of the main rooms. I may never have officially gone through the military weapons training, but those were hard to miss. “And what do you do if they get out?”
“We hunt them down, and deal with the problem.”
He said it so matter-of-factly that I have to pause. Have to wonder…. “How often do they get out?”
“Not often.” He pauses, as if that’s all he’s going to say, but a distant look covers his features before he says. “There was a problem once… before we blew the pass. “
“But that’s your job. To protect from those monsters.”
“It was once, my only purpose.”
He takes my hand and leads me from the window. The warmth of the fire blazing in the center of the room suffuses my skin, driving away what little chill the windows let in.
His words remind me of my purpose….
The agency spelled that out in literal black and white.
Help save a dwindling populace.
But children aren’t, apparently, something I’ll have to worry about just yet.
He hasn’t even tried to kiss me.
I was expecting something… more physical.
After all, I’d heard stories, and every one of them painted salacious pictures of insatiable appetites.
But maybe I wasn’t exactly what he’d asked for….
They got to lay down certain preferences. Maybe I didn’t quite fit and he was adjusting his expectations.
Clearing my throat, I sit beside him, tucking one leg up under the other so I can turn to face him. “Have you been bonded before?”
“No.”
So, whatever is keeping him from acting like the others at the landing site, it isn’t heartbreak.
But I can’t bring myself to ask him, outright, why he hasn’t made his move.
He takes my hand again, tracing my palm with his thumb. “What did you do back on Earth?”
I wince, but it’s not like there’s any point in hiding it.
“Nothing. This is where I wanted to be… so I didn’t make any commitments.”
So, I was here… with nothing…
Nothing, but him.
And I already felt like he was ready to run.
“I have a degree in early childhood education.” I have to hesitate. “You should already know this from when you picked me.”
“I didn’t specify.”
“Oh…”
“And your family? It must have been hard to leave them behind.”
I glance down at my nonexistent watch. They’d have received the email by now…..
“Yes, and no. They all have their own lives. I wasn’t really a part of them after I left for college. Me being here isn’t going to be much different from me being on the other side of the same planet.”
It was different. But not harder.
“What about you, does your family like you being all the way out here?”
“I don’t have one.” He smiled, ruefully. “I, all of us in the Shadow Zone were raised by the system. We’ve known each other for decades… most of us. And we trust each other. That’s the most important part.”
The way his face morphed with those words had me smiling too. “Then you do have a family, don’t you?”
He pauses, and his face clears before the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen touches his lips.
“I guess I do. And now you’re a part of that too.”
RICHTER
We’ve been talking for hours before I register the time. And then, it’s only because she yawns.
“I didn’t feed you.”
She glances toward the kitchen and then shrugs. “I’m not really hungry. Travel, nerves…” She brushes the words out of the air as if they don’t matter, but the mention of nerves has me inwardly cringing.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about.” I don’t realize how much of a lie that is until it crosses my lips.
Clearing my throat, I stand, offer my hand and pull her to standing when she takes it. “Let me show you to your room.”
Her smile brightens, and for a moment, I hope. But it’s just the promise of sleep. Who knows how exhausting her journey was--I’ve certainly never made it.
I stand, and she holds her hand out to me. Her skin is cold, her grip warm as I pull her to standing.
>
Her smile is shy, her cheeks rosy.
She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and soon, she’ll be mine.
But not tonight.
She laces her fingers in mine as I lead her down the hall. As we pass the doors, she doesn’t look in them, her eyes are locked on me, and it’s all I can do to not return her stare.
I don’t look at her until we stop in front of the door to my second bedroom.
“This is your room. If you need anything, I’m just down the hall.” I point toward my room, and force myself to pause before I look back at her.
Head twisted to the side, her brows pinch for a moment. “My room.”
“For now.”
Blinking, she nods, but I don’t know if it’s in agreement.
“Right.” She looks down at her bags and then to the room beyond.
I look with her, trying to see if there’s something objectionable inside.
It’s a fairly standard room. Bed, dresser, lamps. Chair beside the fire. The two doors on the other side of the room lead to a closet and bathroom.
Should I have tried to decorate for her?
I could stand there worrying about it all night....
I try to think of something worthwhile to say. But all I come up with is. “Well… Goodnight.”
She’s blinking at the floor, and her grip tightens on my hand.
It’s a quick, gentle squeeze, and then she turns to me.
She presses up on her toes, brushing her lips across mine. “What about a good night kiss?”
It’s dangerous.
My fingers itch to touch her.
Part of me, deep down, wants to claim her now as the others did when they whisked their bondmates away from the landing pad. It’s a rough desire, and she is small, fragile as all human women are.
But I’m not like the other men who retrieved their bondmates today. I might have told her I was an orphan… but I still don’t know how she’ll react when I tell her I’m also an experiment. It’s why the brotherhood is here. Why we’re bigger and stronger than most men of our kind.
Why I’m scared I might hurt her.
But the smile that quirks her lips is unsure, and if I wait any longer….
Dipping my head, I take her lips.
They’re soft and sweet, and I pull away before I forget myself.
It’s barely a kiss, and she looks at me like I’m a boy who doesn’t know how to tie his own shoes. “That’s not a goodnight kiss.”
She takes a step, closing what little distance there was between us. Fingers cold on my jaw, she takes hold in a gentle grip and pulls me down as she presses up onto her toes.
Her lips are sweet and sinful, and despite knowing better, I can’t help but drink her in.
And when she opens to me, I greedily surge in to claim the rest of her mouth.
I can feel every inch of her against me.
Soft and strong all at once.
I have to lock my muscles to keep from pulling her in. To stop myself from crushing her to me.
That baser instinct has me ready to take her. To drag her back down the hall to my bed. Every impulse tells me to make her mine. To claim her before she can get away.
But logic is stronger than lust. I’m too big, too strong, and if I hurt her, in any way… I’d be hurting myself even more.
Maybe that’s selfish. Maybe my desire to draw her in closer, to hold tight and never let go is the more selfish.
I want to drown in her, I want the soft lips and her tongue teasing things more than just my own.
A shiver wracks through me at the thought.
I’ve run way too many sims.
It’s the thought of that. The thought of her on her knees looking up at me, hungry, that allows me to pull away again.
Clearing my throat, I set her back, away from me. “I will see you in the morning.”
And then, I retreat. Unable to breathe until I’ve crossed the threshold to my room.
I came too close to losing control.
FOUR
LAUREL
The house is dark.
Not completely, the light from the moons reflected off the snow and spun through the windows with the swirling winds.
And I can't sleep.
Not with Richter so close.
He wants me.
I hadn’t been sure until that kiss.
And I have no idea why he won’t take me.
It’s why I’m here.
A gentle music drifts through the air, like a sad lullaby, but I’ll take it over dark silence.
My mind ticks through a hundred scenarios, each one more ridiculous than the next.
“Screw this.”
I didn’t come here to sleep alone, and he didn’t sign up for me to have a roommate.
I like sex. Always have. And having full access to a body like his….
The tiles are warm under my feet and I don’t bother to pull on my robe. The chill of the night is bracing, and I need to get used to it.
Following the blue-lit hall to the room he vaguely pointed out as his, I pause in the open doorway.
Another floor to ceiling window looks out onto the snowy terrain, and bathes the room in eerie blue-gray light.
Richter isn’t asleep.
He shifts, propping up on one elbow to look at me. “What’s wrong?”
The moonlight reflects off his bare chest, the blanket slung over his body drops, pooling at his waist.
“I didn’t come here to sleep alone.” And then, I ask the question that’s been scaring me this whole time…. “Am I not what you wanted?”
With a curse I only recognize because of his tone, he flings aside the sheet and I only have time to register that he’s naked before he scoops me off the ground. His arms are a hard cage around my hips, and he captures my lips in a kiss so searing, I almost forget to breathe.
It was exactly what I wanted. I wasn’t about to fight him, even for room to inhale.
This is what I’ve been thinking about since we sat down on his couch. What I’ve been fantasizing over for years.
But those fantasies were wrong. A shallow shadow of what this is.
He’s ravenous, and I’m starved for his touch.
He pulls away, dragging in a deep breath. “I didn’t want to scare you.”
I could tell him he doesn’t scare me but that would be a lie. So, I tell the only truth I have right now. “Nothing has ever felt quite this right.”
And it hasn’t, which makes no sense because I’ve only known him for half a day.
I’m not going to fool myself into thinking this is love. It’s just lust and chemical reactions.
“I want you to make me yours.”
“Thank Hell.” Richter juggles me, and in a moment, the thin nightgown I’d been wearing is gone, and he’s tossed me onto the bed.
The moon bathes his gorgeous body in that eerie blue light.
Just like the rest of him, his cock is so… so big.
I’ve been with well-endowed men before. I know my body will stretch to fit him, and I’m wet enough I could drown in myself… but I can’t help but feel a little scared.
I might be wet for him… but I’m not fool enough to think I can handle him on that alone.
When he drops to the bed overtop of me, hands on either side of my shoulders, he doesn’t give me a chance to say anything.
He captures my mouth in a kiss so searing--so enthralling--that I forget that fear.
Just before I think I might drown in him, he pulls away, and then his lips find my breast
“Couldn’t sleep,” he says moving to the other. “All I could do was imagine you, on the other side of the house… alone.”
The fingers I’ve spent half the day watching stroke me.
“You shouldn’t have left me by myself.” I flinch on an inhale as his lips drag down my ribs. “What would have happened if I hadn’t come to find you?”
He raked his teeth against my stomach and pressed t
hose strong fingers into me.
And I lost the ability to breathe.
I don’t hear the next thing he says. Smiling up at me, he nips at the inside of my thigh, then sinks down and pressed his mouth to me.
I forgot how to breathe entirely.
Lips, teeth and tongue working in tandem, he drove me further toward the edge.
“Please,” I barely recognize my own voice. “Please, Richter.”
“I’ll give you everything you want. All you have to do is ask.”
He presses into me. A long, slow move and the sheer size of him drives the breath from me.
I’m so full of him, and I’m not sure how I’ve managed it, but I’ve taken him all.
Looking down to where our bodies are joined….
“Hell, you are perfect.” His words are a harsh breath, and I look up into his face.
His jaw is clenched, his features a mask of control and pain. He needs to move, but he’s forcing himself to give me time. And I am not about to complain, but as he slowly drags himself out of me, I know I’m ready. I know I can take anything he needs.
And I know he’s scared he’ll hurt me.
He’s pulling back in more ways than just the physical.
Reaching up, I slide my hand behind his neck.
“I want this.” I hold his head steady to look in his eyes. “More than that, I want this with you.”
He could have whisked me away to one of those hotels. Could have dragged me into this room the moment we got here.
Does waiting mean he’s unquestionably the best possible option I could have been presented with. No… but I trust him in a way I can’t explain.
He watches me for a moment, studying my eyes. Then, he takes my lips in a searing kiss. Takes me….
Each thrust drives me further into the bed, each withdrawal leaves me sobbing to have him back.
His lovemaking is brutal, a pummeling my pussy happily accepts. It has my every nerve tight with pleasure.
Now it’s a race to completion… to that peak I know is just out of reach.
Something inside me clicked and it was as if I could feel everything.
Every inch of him, every molecule.
Every wisp of every emotion.
The overwhelming sensation broke over me, and I shattered on a scream.
