“I have to take this.”
So much for their second date.
23
Tracy washed her face in her bathroom sink and blotted herself dry with a towel.
This wasn’t something she could disregard. She’d been taken over, pushed away, and replaced by someone else. Something else. John seemed to think that it wasn’t a big deal. But it had been a huge deal. How could she ever feel safe knowing the thing inside her could take control at any moment?
Her gaze drew to the folded business card on the vanity: 1-800-Federal-Agent. She could do it, call them. Tell them what had happened.
A shiver ran through her. Her heartrate increased. Not her reaction, but definitely a reaction from within.
Talk to her, John had said. As insane as it seemed, could it be that easy?
She leaned toward the mirror. “Listen. You and me are going to have to get along. I mean, I get being attracted to someone, but I am not interested in having sex with some disease-ridden guy I met at a bar.”
A jolt ran through her, a confused jumble of frazzled movements.
Tracy focused on her reflection. “What about John? He’s great. A cop. And he’s really nice. I think he and Dak really care about us. We’ve got a great chance with them, so let’s forget this ever happened.”
*Mine.*
Dread crept to Tracy’s core.
My what?
Tracy pushed away from the mirror. John had said Dak started with single words, but that sounded like her own voice. Her own thought.
Mine.
What did it mean? What was it about Sean that had drawn Adonna out? And why hadn’t she reacted to Dak like that?
She rubbed her hands over her slacks. Maybe she should find a way to contact Sean. His Ambient had reached into her. There was no hesitation. None. A tingle ran through her, remembering the thrill of the Ambient’s touch. How strong, forceful.
Tracy balked. It wasn’t a thrill. Not at all. It was horrifying. She didn’t want to see Sean again. Ever. In fact, if she did see him, she’d run in the other direction.
Wouldn’t she?
Her hands shook. Her reflection stared back at her. Different. Pale.
She couldn’t live like this. Grabbing the card, she strode to the kitchen and slipped the phone out of her purse.
One call. That’s all it would take. Agent Clark would remove Adonna like a squatter in the park. An Ambient taking control of a human had to be against the accord. That should be enough to warrant ripping this thing out of her.
Her hand trembled. She didn’t even know if her body was healed enough to live without Adonna’s help. This call could be suicide.
And if she was healed enough, what was involved? Was it hard to get one of these things out of your body? Would extraction hurt? Agent Clark had said all her personal rights terminated the second Tracy died. He flat out said she belonged in a coffin. Would it be easier to kill her to set the Ambient free?
Her head spun, unable to hold on to a single question or form a clear thought. She tucked the card into the zipper compartment in her purse and dialed John’s number instead.
“Tracy, what a nice surprise.”
Some of her fear slipped away as she soaked in his voice. Someone shouted his name in the background.
“Is this a bad time?” she asked.
He puffed into the phone. “Nope, give me a second.” The sound in the background decreased. “What’s up?” His voice echoed, like he’d stepped into a stairwell or empty hallway.
She glanced at herself in the mirror. “I tried talking to her. There’s nothing. How can she be strong enough to take control of my body and not be able to talk?”
There was a slight hesitation. “Like Dak said, she overexerted herself and is paying for it now. Consider it Ambient traction.”
Tracy tightened her grip on the receiver. “I really need to talk to you again. I’m scared. I realize we don’t know each other that well and I shouldn’t be dumping on you, but I need to talk to someone.”
“Hey, it’s no problem. I completely understand.” His name echoed through the hallway again. John cursed under his breath. “Listen, I’m really sorry, but I can’t get away right now. How about lunch again tomorrow? You name the place, I’ll meet you there.”
“I guess I can go to wherever you are. I know you’re busy.”
“That would actually help. I don’t mean to be a dick, but things are a little tense at work.”
Tracy rubbed her forehead. What a bitch she was. She shouldn’t be so self-centered. “I’m sorry. You’re busy. Never mind.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Be careful there, you’re gonna give Dak a coronary.” He laughed. “I do get a lunch break, you know. How about Kyle’s pizza in Winslow?”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
“Best pizza in South Jersey. And they are also quiet between eleven and twelve. We can sit in the back and not have to worry about roving ears. Can you meet me there at eleven? I’ll text you the address.”
She tucked a strand of wayward brown hair behind her ear. Could she wait an entire day? Live like this, wondering if this parasite inside her was going to hijack her body again?
Tracy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She needed to talk to someone who could help her understand. She needed Dak.
“I’ll meet you there at eleven.”
24
John handed Tracy a slice of pizza.
“I can’t believe they had this all sitting here at the table waiting for us to arrive.” She juggled the sagging plate, saving the pizza just short of falling to the table.
“Being a cop has its privileges sometimes.” He slipped a slice onto a plate for himself and sat back in the hard booth.
“Anything new with the case?”
John chewed his first bite of pizza. Did Tracy really care about his case or was she making small talk? Maybe she was as scared as everyone else and wanted this over with.
He swallowed. “Nothing I can report. We’re still reviewing evidence.”
So many people were counting on him. Even though it was only Sunday, Friday was screaming toward him, and he was no closer to solving this case now than he was last week at this time. This jerk was playing with them; and John, unfortunately, was letting him frolic to his heart’s content. There had to be something linking all the clues. He just hadn’t found it yet.
Wiping his hands on a napkin, John conjured up his best grin. “I’m guessing you didn’t want to meet to talk about my job.”
She set her pizza down and dabbed a nonexistent stain from her lips. “How do you do it—live your life knowing that something can take you over at any time?”
John shrugged. “Dak and I have trust. He’s never given me a reason to worry.”
“But he took you over once. He could do it again.” She twisted the napkin between clenched fists. Interesting.
“But he hasn’t.” He covered her right hand with his. Dak tickled across the edge of her skin, playing politely. “I know it’s hard to believe right now, but in time you’ll have the same trust with your entity. They aren’t all that different than you and I. They just don’t have bodies.”
Her lips thinned. She fingered a burned bubble in her pizza crust before her eyes returned to his. “Could I maybe talk to Dak?”
“He’s here.”
She licked her lips. “What is it like, being in there, all alone?”
*It sucks. John’s boring.*
Stop it. “He said it’s hard sometimes.”
*That’s not what I said.* A sparkling warmth spread through John’s belly, a sensation he long ago equated to Ambient laughter.
“I don’t get why he does it. How can he live someone else’s life and not his own?”
Dak’s voice whispered inside him. “He said it’s not bad, and other Ambients, the weaker ones, have a tougher time with it. A lot of them can’t even speak to their hosts.”
She nodded, sucking her lower lip into her mouth. “Could he take you ov
er right now? Talk to me with his own voice?”
“No,” John answered. “It takes an awful lot of energy to control a body. Last time he was quiet for days. Immersed, he called it. To him that’s like hell. Imagine your most talkative friend, and then take away her voice. She’d go nuts.”
“But, in theory, he could.”
“Tracy, you need to stop dwelling on this. You’re going to drive yourself crazy over nothing. Are you sure there was no response at all when you tried to talk to her?”
Tracy blanched.
Maybe there was a reaction, but if so, why not tell him?
She covered her eyes, her hands trembling. “It’s like she’s not even there. I don’t understand. I feel so alone. Even you, the one person who should understand, doesn’t.” Tears streamed from her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever be as comfortable as you are with all this.”
John reached for her but pulled back. If he touched her, Dak might try to comfort her himself. The last thing she needed was to prove just how invasive these entities could be.
*You’re being ridiculous! Go to her. Hold her!*
His own heart twisted. He wanted to trust Dak, but in this one instance, he knew he couldn’t, and the last thing he wanted was to make things worse for Tracy. “I don’t know how to help you other than letting you know it will get better. You need to give it time.”
“I’m done giving it time. I’m alone, and I’m scared.”
John splayed his hands. “Dak and I are right here. We’re proof that this can be an amicable relationship.”
She tossed her palms up. “Relationship. There’s a kicker. I’ll never have one of those.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going to be alone, forever, because I’m a freak.”
“We’ve already told you you’re not a—”
“Dammit, you’re in the same boat I’m in, and I don’t even think you’re interested.”
“Tracy, I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes, but you’re here for Dak. You said he was interested, but all I get from you is this weird, standoffish vibe; like maybe you’re being nice to me because Dak likes Adonna and you’re not interested in me in the slightest.”
“Tracy, this isn’t just about Dak.” He motioned to the food. “He doesn’t even like pizza.”
He cringed as the words left his mouth. That was the best he could come up with?
John drew his fingers through his bangs. “Look, if I’m distracted, you need to understand that my job is all-encompassing sometimes.” He dropped his hand and sighed. “I wish to God that we’d met at a quieter time in my life but…” But so many things.
Dak screamed inside his head, but John blocked him out.
Damn, he liked this girl, but was he ready to take a chance again? Was it possible to have a relationship with four different personalities battling each other? He wanted to be strong and independent, as sure of himself as he led others to believe he was, but deep down, he wanted someone else he could depend on. Someone he could talk to. Someone who could understand.
He sat back and considered her smile as he walked in to the coffee shop yesterday, and how she’d preordered lunch. Shit, if she hadn’t already proven herself to be everything he wanted and more.
Tracy was right, though. With an Ambient inside you, nothing was assured. She was here, now, but tomorrow she could be gone, leaving him no better than crap flushed down the toilet. She’d come to him for help, but how can he help her if he hadn’t even gotten his own shit together.
She wiped her nose. “You should see the look on your face. You look like a scared rabbit ready to run.”
“That’s not what I’m thinking.” But it was. He wiped the sweat from his palms.
“I want to talk to Dak. Now.”
John startled. “It’s not like he ever left.”
Tracy rested her arms on the table. Her gaze centered on his eyes, looking into him rather than at him. “What’s going on? How does John really feel and what isn’t he telling me?”
John’s brow lifted. “Umm, hello.” He pointed at himself. “I’m right here.”
“I said I wanted to talk to Dak.”
“Yeah, well, you gotta kinda go through me. What do you mean by…”
*I can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry John.*
A huge pressure overwhelmed him. Everything that made him John rolled into a little ball and sucked away from his eyes and into a void. Dak surrounded him, encompassed him. He sank and felt Dak above him where the entity normally seemed below. He tried to claw at the darkness, fight his way back to the surface, but finally gave in, exhausted. The sensation of his body reclining in the chair surrounded him. He could feel it happen, but he was no longer in control.
Dak stretched John’s neck and grinned.
“Hello, Trace. It’s me.”
The sound of his voice with someone else’s words sent a flurry of anxiety through John’s core. He screamed without sound. Could Dak hear him?
Tracy’s eyes widened. Her mouth formed an ‘O’.
John’s lip turned up only on the left side. He cringed, the movement seeming awkward. Wrong. Dak propped their left elbow on the edge of the table, pushing back the half-eaten pizza. “Why do you look so surprised? You asked to talk.”
She shivered as if the temperature dropped thirty degrees and wiped her brow with the back of her hand. “Wow. You did that so fast. So easily.”
“Yeah, well, John is freaking out, so let’s make this quick before he has a heart attack.”
*You better believe I’m freaking out. That is my goddamn body, Dak. Give it back. Now.*
Her gaze crept over John’s face as if searching for him. “He’s hiding something. Something that scares him. Something about me.”
Dak shifted John’s weight to rest on their other arm. “We’ve been through a lot.”
“I can see that, but I think it’s more than this investigation. I mean, he may be the nicest guy who’s ever shown an ounce of interest in me, but I’m tired of getting hurt. I need to know if there’s any chance for us. All of us.”
A smile shot across John’s lips. He fought to make it a grimace, to gain control back, but Dak was too strong.
Dak plopped both arms on the table. “Well, I’m going to be honest with you and not try to sugarcoat things like you humans always seem to.”
*Don’t you freaking dare!*
“You’re nice and all, and I think you’re great for John, but all I see when I look at you is Adonna. If John is holding your hand, I’m not even paying much attention to what the two of you are talking about. I’m reaching inside you to touch the part of you that does interest me. Adonna is amazing—tired and a little lost, but still amazing.”
The entity tapped John’s fingers on the edge of their water glass. “I feel every emotion that floods through John’s body. It’s annoying at times, because he’s almost always focused on work, and let’s face it, what the guy does is deeply disturbing. But every once in a while his mind wanders, and I feel a flood of positive energy from him.” John wished he could crawl into a hole and die. “He’s thinking of you, Trace. Sometimes I think you are the only joy he’s felt since…”
*Don’t.*
Tracy cocked her head to the left. “Since what?”
Dak studied the woodgrain in the table.
*Please, Dak. Don’t tell her.*
Dak looked up to Tracy. “I’m the only person in the world who he can’t hide his feelings from. I know it’s pretty soon for a human, but I think John could be on the road to falling in love with you.”
Oh, crap. That was even worse.
Pressure pushed John down as if a giant hand squashed him from above. He thrashed phantom limbs, screamed with a silent voice. But it was like he didn’t exist, like a phantom memory or a forgotten nightmare.
Dak leaned toward her. “If you care for him at all, you need to ask him about Amy. You deserve to know why he’s so scared.”
; The void, the weightlessness, the pressure zapped away. Everything that was John flew through a swirling vortex, stopping with a numbing crash. He blinked and his eyelids responded. He grabbed for his temples and his hands did his bidding. John was in control again. He sat for a moment, just breathing.
Jesus Christ, Dak.
*Sucks, doesn’t it?*
John drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Yes, it did suck.
He shuddered. Dak lived like that every day. Cognizant, but helpless to John’s every whim. How did his friend not go insane?
*It’s the price I pay for the use of your lungs.*
But they were John’s lungs. His. Not Dak’s. Dak was a guest. And guests don’t take over their host’s homes.
*Your heart rate is through the roof. You need to calm down.*
“Don’t ever do that to me again.”
Tracy sucked in a breath. Her hands slid off the table.
“Next time, let me translate.” Son of a bitch. That was not cool. Not cool at all.
John clutched the side of the table and took a few more quieting breaths before he risked meeting Tracy’s gaze.
She sat with her hands in her lap, her eyes strained. “I’m not sure if I should laugh or run screaming. They really can take control of us anytime they want.”
His heart continued to pummel his ribcage. He’d been a prisoner in his own body and there was nothing he could do about it. He wanted to give Tracy some comfort, but right now, he was the least comfortable he’d ever been since meeting Dak.
“Can all of them do that, then?”
John shook his head. “They tell me it’s not common.” Because any sane person would have them yanked out.
*I would never hurt you, you know that.*
You fucking took me over!
*Someone had to.*
Clenching his teeth, John rubbed his eyes and counted back from ten slowly. “This isn’t exactly how I’d expected this lunch to go.”
She laughed in that pitiful way girls do right before they dump your ass. “Me either. I’m really sorry.” Standing, she gripped her purse.
“Leaving already?”
She nodded, her eyes closed. “I’m not feeling well all of a sudden.”
Invaded Page 12
