He stared at the creased card before plucking it from her fingertips. “The government ain’t never helped me any.”
She gave him a kiss on the cheek. A spark shocked her as her lips touched his skin. “Maybe you could try to find a real relationship. Put an end to the one-night stands.”
He slid the card in his pocket. “Who in Sam Hill would want me?”
Tracy stepped away. “Give yourself a chance. You might be surprised.”
38
Tracy jumped when a waitress tripped, and a tray of drinks splashed across the floor. John barely raised his gaze from the salad he’d been poking at with his fork. His furrowed brow twitched and reset to a deep line.
Had another woman disappeared? Stupid question. A woman seemed to die or disappear every day lately, but Tracy didn’t remember hearing about a new victim being discovered. Not that she’d really been paying attention.
News of the first victim had horrified her. Now her thoughts about the murders seemed clinical, like no big deal. Adonna shifted, sparkling across her diaphragm, and Tracy shuddered at her callousness.
Another woman might be dead and all she could worry about was her own stupid problems. When had she become so cold? So much had changed in the last few weeks. Too much. She needed to make things right again.
John’s gaze still roamed his salad. Something was definitely wrong.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
Gaping, he looked up and placed his fork down. “I’m sorry. I guess I’m not much company tonight.”
She reached over and brushed his fingertips with her own. John or maybe Dak grabbed her hand, forcing their palms together. Dak leached on instantly, as if he were waiting beneath John’s skin, hoping for contact. The Ambient seeped into Tracy, spinning, caressing, stroking—all soft, caring sensations. Nothing like the brutal, dominant force that had entered her yesterday.
This time, however, Adonna didn’t respond. The only sensation running through Tracy seemed to be Dak. But the touch was so gentle, so kind. How couldn’t Adonna want to wrap herself in such devotion?
John’s eyes narrowed. “Dak said he wants to try something, and not to be scared.”
“Huh?”
The swirl within her lurched and her lungs constricted. She tried to gasp, but the air wasn’t there. A wave of panic throttled her core before Dak sizzled back out of her body and reentered John.
Tracy inhaled deeply, relishing in the aroma of fried chicken and sausage intermingled with the life-giving air.
John grabbed her arm. “What happened?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe.”
John looked toward the table. “Dak, what the hell, buddy?” He nodded, as if listening, before he returned his gaze to her. “Dak was worried about you guys, so he did something to disconnect Adonna from your lungs for a second. Apparently without her, you still can’t breathe.” His lips thinned. “He says you should be healed by now and she should be talking. It’s like she’s exerted herself to exhaustion.”
Tracy cleared her throat. Exerted herself? Yeah, rolling around rubbing your alien body all over a sleazy sex-starved entity will do that to you. Not that she would admit that. Not yet at least. “Is that bad? Are we going to be okay?”
“We think so. You’re not having any trouble breathing now, right?”
She took in a deep, wonderful breath. “No, I’m fine.”
“I guess we need to give her time, then. Maybe she was already weak when she jumped into you.”
The unintentional underlying message set in: without Adonna, Tracy would die. Period. In one fell swoop, her get out of jail free card disappeared.
John rubbed his face.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Yeah. Damn, I’m sorry. I could really use some good news right now. What did you want to talk about?”
Tracy’s jaw tensed. Good news? What she had was far from that.
His eyes softened, expectant.
Shit. He’d misread her text. He thought something good happened. And it looked like he’d had the mother of bad days. She couldn’t tell him about Sean. Not now.
His brow rose.
Okay, she needed good news. There had to be something. “Umm, you know that promotion I got?”
He nodded.
“Well, things are going great. Kyle Olson loves my ideas.”
He leaned toward her. “And?”
“No and. He loves my ideas.”
His expectant look settled over her, warming the room. “Sorry, that’s the cop in me. I’m sensing some trepidation in all this.”
She sighed. “Well, yeah. I need to make a presentation on Monday morning. I’m kind of terrified.”
He reached across the table and slipped his hand under hers. “You’re going to do great.”
Her lips trembled before rising. He had no idea if she’d do well or not. He didn’t even know anything about her job. She relaxed as Dak danced across the edge of her skin. It was damn sweet of them, though, being so supportive.
The waitress arrived with their appetizers, taking away John’s full plate of salad. He glanced at the fried green beans she placed before him but his gaze seemed to travel past the plate again.
Tracy waved her hand in front of his vacant eyes. “Are you still with me?”
“I’m sorry. This really isn’t your fault.”
“Okay, police-officer buddy hat is on.” She tipped an imaginary chapeau. “I’m all ears.” Hey, it was the least she could do after he sat through all her whining about her Ambient. Maybe it would be good to listen to someone else’s problems for a change.
John took a bite of a green bean and chewed.
She imagined Dak poking him from the inside, trying to get him to open up. She stroked the back of John’s hand with her fingertips, hoping to give Dak a little help in encouraging their favorite detective.
John took a deep breath. “I got taken off the case today.”
She balked. “Why?”
He recounted what sounded like a particularly unenjoyable meeting. “We had to hand in all our files and tomorrow I get a new assignment.” He rubbed his eyes. “And to top it all off, my partner’s dad is in bad shape. He had to leave and I’m not sure when he’ll be back.”
Wow. Losing the case had to bruise his male ego. But she couldn’t be all that upset about it. That assignment seemed to take a lot out of him. Maybe someone else could save the world, just this once.
“Well, look on the bright side. That gives you more time to spend on your social life.”
A smile shot across his lips. Pure, genuine, and sexy as all hell. Yeah, she definitely wanted more time with her mild-mannered detective. More time to learn, love, and hopefully forget the last few days.
“You have no idea how happy we are to hear you say that.” He entwined his fingers in hers. “Because I am very interested in taking this further.”
A shimmer ran down her spine. “Further?”
His eyes darkened. “A lot further.”
His gaze languished over her and heat spread across her skin. Yeah, overly-focused John was sexy. John without a case to worry about, with thoughts all centered on her, damn!
“We’d have to take it slow.” He rubbed his thumb over hers. “Slower than I’d like, to give our entities time to adjust.”
He spoke about this like other people might discuss using a condom. That was probably the detective in him, calculating all angles, all possibilities. She was usually the type to throw caution to the wind, but as that thumb continued to draw slow circles over her knuckle, she imagined that coarse, gentle touch slipping up her shirt, unhooking her bra. She shivered. Hopefully slow included a ton of foreplay.
John closed his eyes and puffed a laugh. “For the record, Dak is not onboard with taking it slow.” When he opened his eyes, Tracy knew John was not completely committed to taking it slow, either. He licked his lips, his gaze filled with wanton promise, before he glanced away, bec
oming the cool, collected detective again. “What we need to know is, are you onboard? If you’re not interested, let us know.”
John flinched as if kicked from inside. But Dak had to already know her answer. John was right to be cautious, though. Things were a little more complicated than what she, Dak, and John wanted.
A flash of Sean overran Tracy’s thoughts: his confused, somewhat shy demeanor at the park, his smile, and how his fingers had invaded her only the night before.
And she’d wanted it. At least the alien part of her had. Her stomach sank and churned, confused and ashamed at the mere thought of Sean touching her again, while Adonna tingled and rolled, as if relishing the memory.
Tracy dug her nails into her free palm. Warning bells had gone off the second she’d seen Sean. But Adonna, apparently, liked the danger.
She used her mind to grab hold of the foreign energy inside her. She focused Adonna’s essence into her own eyes and stared at John. She traced his rugged jaw, sweet expression, and tousled hair. She lingered on the curve of his wide shoulders and imagined his strong hands holding her tightly to him.
If Adonna wanted danger, Tracy would serve it up to her in the form of a police detective. That’s a sexy, dangerous job; coating a sweet, sensitive, and gorgeous guy. She wanted John and Adonna was going to like Dak—once she let him get his little alien hands on her.
Tracy released Adonna and the entity seemed to float within. Contentment and relaxation flowed through her. A positive response? It had to be. Finally!
Allowing her grin to break free, Tracy grabbed John’s hand. Pressure flashed from her torso into her palm, but stopped, tingling her skin. John’s hand heated and he pressed their palms together.
“They’re touching,” John said. “Not talking, just touching.”
“Is that good?”
“I don’t know, but Dak is happy.”
Wow. Could it be so simple?
Tracy pulled back the tears forming in her eyes. Somehow along this crazy road, Dak and John had become the do all and end all of, well, everything. But with Adonna jonesing for the sleaziest guy she could find, Tracy wasn’t sure she’d ever be happy. Yet, here they were.
She called up her best smile. “Do you think Dak would be happier if I took you up on that slow stroll to the next level?”
John’s eyes softened, melting Tracy’s heart. “I think that would make Dak very happy.”
A lump formed in her throat. “Well, we wouldn’t want Dak to be unhappy, would we?”
John’s smile beamed. “Nope, we definitely wouldn’t want that.”
The clatter of the restaurant sounded around them. Customers arrived and left while she and John eased closer, enjoying a lazy dinner and a downright sloth-like dessert. She could drown in his eyes, melt into sweet oblivion as his gaze caressed her cheeks, hair, and shoulders.
What was he thinking; or what was Dak saying that she couldn’t hear?
A deep warmth spread over her. Whatever his thoughts, the tides in their relationship had obviously changed. The simple admission that they wanted each other had made this modest silence a flood of connection, rather than her normal discomfort of filling a quiet void with meaningless consonants and vowels.
His expression spoke millions of truths words couldn’t express, and she’d never felt so beautiful.
Tracy’s heels tapped across the pavement as John walked her from his car to her front door. Funny, she’d planned on telling him about Sean, about how Adonna had used Tracy’s body to get what she wanted, and about how she wanted to get rid of her Ambient once and for all.
At first, she didn’t want to unload on him since he’d obviously needed her for a change. And now, with their relationship more official, she probably wouldn’t tell him at all.
Her Ambient had settled into the background for the latter part of the date. By now, Adonna must know Tracy wasn’t happy with her entity’s recent exploits. Maybe she’d decided to play nice.
Tracy hoped so. Five weeks ago, Adonna gave her a second chance at life. Until now, things had been shaky between them; but the fear and uncertainty was over now. That second chance re-started today, for both of them.
“Here we are.” John slipped his hands into his pockets.
“I had a great time,” Tracy said. “I’m really glad we could get together.”
“Really? Because it seemed like I rattled about my problems all night.”
“You didn’t rattle that much. Maybe a babble or two.” She gave his wrist a gentle tug toward the door. This was only their first official date, but they were past childish games. Tracy was more than ready to take the first of their slow steps to the next level.
John’s gaze darted to the right, then back to her. Damn, she wished she could hear Dak.
“I’m glad I got your text.” He closed his eyes and snickered. “Now, that sounded incredibly stupid.”
“I don’t think so.” She stepped closer. “Why are you so nervous all of a sudden?”
He straightened slightly, his expression sliding back into the cool, confident visage of a hardened detective. “I’m not nervous.”
Yeah, you are. She inched up and kissed him beside the ear. Red stains specked his cheeks as he removed his right hand from his pocket and slipped it around her waist. Hmm, maybe not as nervous as she thought.
Adonna fizzled in the center of Tracy’s chest. That better be a positive response because anything that might have been there with Sean was now gone. This is where she belonged.
John’s eyes dropped to her mouth. He licked his lips and eased closer. Her skin flushed as she leaned back, lips parted. He made her wait an eternity before his mouth closed over hers, sweet and tender at first. John’s movements were slow, searching as his hand smoothed up her back to rest at the nape of her neck.
He deepened the kiss and Tracy sighed as he pulled her closer, opening her mouth to drink him in. He was all musk and heat with a heady mix of cologne. She dragged her nails through his hair, leaning up to take in more of him. Her body ached in all the right places, and she shifted her feet to steady herself. Damn, why had they waited so long to do this?
John turned to the right and gasped, leaving her open and wanting. Eyes closed, he held her at arm’s length for three breaths before his gaze drew back to hers. “I want to come in, but I can’t.”
A spray of disappointment washed over her. “Oh, I—”
He held up his hand. “Dak is just…and I’m…” He shook his head. “God, this is killing me, but we need to take this more slowly. We need to make sure Adonna is okay with Dak before we even think about…” He swallowed hard. “Well, I know what I was thinking about.”
Tracy wanted to reach out and touch him, let him know she was here no matter what. Hell, she’d do whatever she had to if it would wipe Amy’s memory from him forever.
As he stood before her though, struggling, she wasn’t sure that would ever be possible.
“Tracy.” He ran his fingers along her cheek. A flash of pain darkened his eyes, something deep and cutting. “I want you. Let’s make that perfectly clear. But there are four of us. Please understand we can’t rush this.”
But Adonna and Dak had talked. They seemed fine. Tracy opened her mouth to protest, but he kissed her cheek, then her lips sweetly. “Goodnight.”
Her knees nearly gave out. Their night was over, just like that?
No. She wasn’t okay with this. She needed to prove to John that Adonna was onboard with Team John and Dak.
Sweat broke across Tracy’s brow as the entity pulsed inside her. Adonna seemed to expand with each unsettling beat. But what did that mean?
Tracy shivered. As much as she wanted John, she couldn’t guarantee Adonna wouldn’t be the cause of another alien-induced heartache.
Not yet, at least.
Tracy took a step back as John walked toward his car. Every cell in her body reeled in disappointment.
She needed to find a way to be certain about Adonna. And soon.
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39
A steaming cup of coffee sat centered on John’s desk blotter. Art reclined in the chair bedside his own desk, tapping on that infernal tablet computer.
“Didn’t expect to see you today,” John said. “How’s your dad?”
Art looked up. “They admitted him. He had a minor heart attack. Doctor says he’s stable, but they want to keep him under observation for a few days.”
John nodded. Now probably wouldn’t be the best time to mention the doctors said the same thing days before his own father died.
Biggs poked his head out of his office. His normally perfect hair stuck out in three places on the side of his head and his lips seemed cemented in a frown. “Peters, it’s about time. I need you both in here.”
John glanced at the clock. He was ten minutes early. As usual. He decided not to comment on the insinuation that he’d been late. Something was definitely up.
Art plopped into the seat in front of Biggs’s desk. John stood inside the doorframe and folded his arms.
The Sergeant propped up his tablet and tapped the screen. “You remember Officer Giancarlo Doogan?”
A photo of the beat cop appeared on the screen: a formal head shot, probably a few years old from the noticeable difference in bulk.
“Yes,” John said. “The cop who claimed to have shot someone fleeing the scene of Alexandra Nixon’s murder.”
Biggs nodded. “Doogan didn’t check in after his shift last night. He was found dead thirty minutes ago in the woods behind Grant Lake Park.”
Art closed his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.
“You think our killer caught up with him?”
“Uncertain. That’s why you’re here.” The sergeant’s frown deepened. “I hope neither of you had breakfast yet.” He tapped the computer pad. The photo changed to a body lying on a bed of bloody leaves. Purple and red raised bruises covered his face, and a blood-soaked mass held his mouth open in what appeared to be a scream.
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