by Jerilee Kaye
I heard his sharp intake of breath. “We cannot be over, Brianne…” he said in a desperate voice.
“Th-there was a woman…you were with a woman, the last time I saw you.”
He pulled away from me. I stared up to look into his eyes. I found that his cheeks had been streaming with tears. He gave me a broken expression.
“What woman?”
I took a deep breath. “The one you were with when I went to your apartment.”
He thought for a while and then finally, he remembered. “Blonde?”
I nodded. He smiled at me. “That was Sarah Atkins,” he said. “For your information, she’s fifty years old, and I don’t fancy older women. She’s almost like a mother to me. She’s our old art teacher, Mr. Atkins’s, sister. She’s been my art broker for years.”
“Art broker?”
He nodded. “Sometimes I buy paintings. If she has a good find that’s worth buying, I buy it. This time, I asked her to check something out for me, and she came to deliver what I asked her to buy.”
“There was no other woman?” I asked.
He smiled at me wistfully. “I promised you I would never cheat on you, Brianne. You still are my wife, remember?”
Tears kept streaming down my face. I was having new hope again. Hope that all is not lost. Hope that there was a chance Travis and I could get through this.
“Do you want to see what I asked her to buy?”
He didn’t wait for me to answer. He motioned his hand near the couch where a painting in a golden frame was sitting. It was still partially wrapped, but I recognized that painting. It was mine. The one I’d replicated from his work in high school.
“How…how did you…” I stared at Travis.
“I didn’t miss any of your dances. Did you really think I would miss your art show? I asked Ms. Atkins to photograph all your pieces so I could see your work, and see which ones I wanted to buy,” he replied. “When I saw this…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “This completely tore me apart, Brianne. And it made me realize what I needed to do. It made me realize that it was time for me to find the courage to face you…because regardless of what you would say to me…it would not change the ending I wanted.”
He gently pushed me so I could sit on the bed. He kneeled in front of me. “I realized that no matter how many times you ask me…I cannot stop fighting fate for you.” Tears rolled down his cheeks, and in his eyes, I saw that his soul was torn and broken, too. “We cannot be over, Brianne. We can never be…I won’t let it.”
I struggled to find my voice. “Travis…you must remember…I…may not be able to conceive anymore. And I know you have dreams of having…kids. Lots of them.”
He chuckled bitterly. “I’m not going to have them with another woman, Brianne. The doctor said thirty percent, remember? We’ll work through that percentage. We’ll keep trying. And if we can’t be blessed with one, then we can look at other options. But I would rather be childless with you…than be the father of some other woman’s children.” He shook his head. “I already chose you over my heir once, Brianne. I will still make that choice now. And I will make that choice over and over again.”
He held my face between his palms. I couldn’t stop crying.
“You told me once that you were tired, Travis.”
He shook his head. “I said I was tired of not getting it right…every time, I only wanted to do what you and Tom asked of me. But somehow…in the end, I always lost, I always ended up eating my heart out. Tom asked me to take care of you, and I ended up feeling something for you. You asked me to take your innocence from you…I was stupid enough to agree…not knowing that I would end up craving you like a drug!
“You asked me to marry you…as your safety guy, and I ended up not ever wanting to let you go. You asked me to make love to you that night, and I ended up realizing I was madly in love with you, that I had been in love with you all those years. I was tired of doing you all those favors and risking losing you forever. I’m not saying I was tired of taking care of you, Brianne. I will never be. I will put my masks down for you a hundred times over…but I’m tired of being afraid of losing you. I need assurance that I never will…that you’re mine forever. That’s all I ask.”
I pulled his hands away from my face and rested them on my lap. I realized that he was wearing his wedding ring again.
“You’re wearing your wedding ring again!”
“I never took it off.”
“I saw a picture of you recently, in a magazine. You weren’t wearing your wedding ring there.”
“That was taken months before we got married,” he said. “If they took a picture of me now, after we’ve been apart, I’d be in a much worse shape than I was in that picture.”
I stared at him. I could not believe what I’d been hearing. And slowly, I was beginning to trust again. To believe in Travis…to believe in Tom.
Is this what you meant, Tom? That I would live a long and happy life? With Travis?
He pulled me gently by the nape of the neck and kissed my forehead. “You see? You can let me go all you want. But nothing is going to change because I choose not to let you go. And if I have to spend the rest of my life chasing you, running after you…then so be it. As long as in the end, I know you and I will be together.”
“Travis…” I stared up at him. “Have you forgiven me? For what I did to you? All that I said to you?”
He smiled. “Forgiven. Forgotten,” he said. “If you forgive me for hurting you, for avoiding you…for saying words that I know must have hurt you…if you give me another chance, I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for it all…I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy…”
“There’s nothing to make up for, Travis,” I said and this time, the tears I cried were tears of happiness.
He pulled me to him. “God, I love you, Brianne!” he said. “I love you so much; I died the moment I thought I lost you! And I swear to God, I’m never going to lose you again!”
“I love you, too, Travis! And I will never doubt your intentions, or your love ever again.”
He pulled away from me and smiled. Then gently he leaned his face forward and kissed me on the lips. He kissed me gently, and then more passionately.
He pushed me down the bed and continued kissing me. He kissed me as if he couldn’t believe he was doing that…as if he couldn’t believe he could still do that.
We were lost in our passion. When he finally joined with me, we were both crying. We held each other, as if we both couldn’t believe we were back in each other’s arms…as if we had both just woken up from a very bad dream.
“I love you, Mrs. Cross. Very much!” he whispered to me, in a voice that made me cry even more.
“I love you, too!”
Even after we’d both reached our peaks, Travis didn’t let go of me. He kept kissing me, nuzzling my neck, tracing my lips with his tongue. Moreover, he kept whispering how much he loved me.
When he finally pulled out of me, he lay on the bed and gathered me in his arms.
“God, I missed you, love!” he whispered. “I think I only realize now just how empty I have been. And just how broken my soul really was.”
“Me too,” I whispered. “It’s like you have to live again, to realize that you’ve died…and now is your second chance at life.”
“I’m not going to waste it anymore,” he said. “I want to treasure every single moment of my life with you.” He took a deep breath. “I have been…an empty soul for so long, Brianne. I did not have the warmth, concern, and love of a family. Is it too much to ask for those things now? From you?”
I propped up on my elbow so I could look at him in the eyes. I shook my head. “It’s never too much to ask for those, Travis. And of course! As much as I can, I will give you those things…I will nurture this little family that we have.”
He pulled my head to him so he could give me a kiss on the cheek. Then he leaned his forehead against mine. “Thank you, love.”
“Thank you, too, Travis,” I said. “Because you’ve made me whole again.”
He smiled, and the boyishness returned to his face again. “Thank you…because you’ve made me live again.”
I lay on his shoulder, both his arms wrapped around me.
“How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“Eric. Karl told me he saw you with him. So when I finally made the decision to stop running…I called him. He told me that you had just boarded the flight home. I went to your house. When I found that you weren’t there, I knew there could only be one place you would be. And I was glad I’d found you just in time. You could have hit your head or fainted with no one to find you.”
I sighed. “At that moment, I didn’t really care.”
Travis squeezed my shoulders, and I felt him kiss my forehead. But he didn’t say anything. I knew that he was sorry for making me feel the way I did. But it didn’t matter now.
“Travis…yesterday, I went to your apartment. I called you. You didn’t see me or hear me. I wasn’t allowed to enter your building. Did you ban me or something?”
He tightened his embrace of me again. “Of course not. I’m sorry. I introduced you to Mr. Ferguson. But the building underwent management changes and shuffled some of their staff. I was asked to update my tenant list to prevent any hassles like that. Back then, I was dead to the world…I just didn’t get around doing the things that I was supposed to be paying attention to. I’m sorry, Brianne. But next time you come to the building…you won’t be questioned anymore. Brianne Cross will be on the list…as one of the owners of an apartment in that building.”
I sighed contentedly. After so many months of pain…after feeling almost numb, I never thought I would feel this happy again. I knew…only one man could make me feel this way.
Travis kissed me passionately. He turned so that he was on top of me again.
“Travis!” I laughed. “We just…”
“Sorry, love. I told you I’d make up for everything. This included! And I’ve got months I need to make up for!” My laughter died as he covered my mouth with passionate kisses again.
Chapter Thirty-Four
It was against Travis’s will, but I insisted on a hot bath. He joined me in the tub, and it was a glorious feeling. Until then, I still couldn’t believe that Travis and I were back together…back in each other’s arms. I didn’t need to lose him again. That finally, we’d laid down all our cards on the table, and taken off all our masks. We were starting afresh, and nothing could come between us again.
I dressed in one of his pajama bottoms and shirts, which were too big for me. I had to tie the shirt in the waist area as it was big enough to be a dress.
Travis’s room was huge. It had a royal bed in the center, the headboard and edges of which had elegant gold carvings. The couch set had matching carvings, and the fabric on them was lush and luxurious.
“Would you like to have dinner here, or downstairs? Or perhaps you’d like to go out?”
“I’d like to see the house, if that’s okay with you,” I replied. “I haven’t been here before.”
He took my hand in his and led me out the door.
The whole house was massive. Like their lake house, it was covered mostly in glass. The chandeliers were elegant and looked very expensive. I could tell that the house was years old. Probably older than Travis. But it was rich and luxurious. More like a manor or a small castle than a house. It had about eight bedrooms, two living rooms, a library, a game room, and a huge nursery.
“Is this the house you grew up in?”
“I can’t tell which house I really grew up in,” he replied. “This was my grandparents’ house. I have many happy memories here from when my grandmother was alive. My grandfather died a month after she did.” He took a deep breath. “They were so in love with each other. Even in their old age, I remember how happy they were. When my grandmother died, my grandfather was devastated. Then one day, he told me, ‘I will be happy again, son. Soon, I will be with my love again.’ He died after a few days. I remembered being so sad…but then again, I knew that he’s happier. Because they’re together again.”
I couldn’t help crying. Travis’s grandparents’ love story was so touching.
“Hey…” Travis said, pulling me into his arms. “Why are you crying?”
I giggled. “That story was sweet.”
“I know,” he said. “I was only ten then. It’s been a while since I thought about that. Maybe I used to believe in love because I witnessed that through my grandparents. Then my parents shattered whatever hopes and beliefs I had.” He looked down at me. “Thank you for making me believe in that again, Brianne. I know that love like what my grandparents had really exists…because I found one just like theirs.”
I smiled and then I reached up to kiss him. “I love you.”
“I love you more.”
We checked out each of the bedrooms. They were all only a little smaller than Travis’s bedroom, but still about twice the size of my bedroom in Connecticut.
“When was the last time you were here?” I asked.
“I don’t remember,” he replied. “It’s been a long while. I found out that my grandparents left me this house when I turned nineteen. If I had known that earlier, I would have moved out of my father’s house sooner. Here, I’m safe from him and his bodyguards.”
“But you’re safe from him now, aren’t you?” I asked.
He looked at me wearily. “I am. Because I’m his son. But I’m afraid of what he might do if he finds out just how important you are to me.”
I hugged him. “You know you can stop, Travis,” I said. “I know you don’t need the money anymore. I’m a simple woman with simple needs. Don’t you have enough money…to quit this war? Leave your father be?”
He took a deep breath. Then he pulled away from me slightly so he could look me in the eyes. “Are you asking me to?”
I took a deep breath. “I want you to be happy, Travis. To concentrate on your own happiness, on your own life, instead of your father’s destruction. It’s not worth it. You deserve to live your life…for yourself.”
He didn’t say anything. He just gave me a hug. Then I heard him take a deep breath and kiss my forehead.
He led me to the dining room. There was a long table in the center. Maids were standing close by. They greeted us warmly. The table was set for two.
“Hungry?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. Actually, I am.”
After dinner, Travis decided to show me the outside of the house. At the door, I saw a familiar old woman. She was much older now. But I still recognized her.
“Mrs. Beets!” I reached forward and gave her a hug.
“Madam.” She smiled.
“Do you live here now?”
“Wherever the Master needs me, madam,” she said. “I’m happy that you are our Mistress now. I know you will take care of him.”
“I will.” I smiled at her. I knew I meant that.
The garden was massive, beautifully landscaped and adorned with roses. There was a gazebo where luncheons and private dinners could be held. They also had a pool and a huge yard where kids could play football.
I realized, as I toured the house, that I could picture our kids playing here. I could picture us having family dinners in the gazebo, the kids playing football with their father, or the entire family swimming in the pool.
I sighed sadly. If only I could give Travis kids…if only there weren’t something wrong with me.
“Are you okay, love?” Travis asked, forcing me to look into his eyes.
I smiled at him but did not say anything.
“Brianne…this is me,” he said gently. “You never used to hide anything from me.”
He was right. He used to know every single one of my pains. He could read me like a book. After all that we had been through, he deserved my honesty.
“I was just thinking that it’s so beautiful here,” I said. “This…would be a go
od place to grow up in.”
He smiled. “Would you like us to live here?”
“Yes…if only…we could have kids.”
He hugged me. “We will have kids, love,” he said. “We will keep trying. There are plenty of options now. Medically, we could try two or three options. If nothing works, we can always adopt. There are plenty of kids out there looking for a family. Like the two of us…when we were young. We were two kids desperately wanting to belong to a family again. We had each other. We were all the family we needed. If we can’t have kids of our own, then we will adopt.”
I gave him a hug. “I’m really sorry, Travis,” I said to him.
“Don’t be,” he said. “It isn’t your fault. And we still have a chance. Right now, I’m just so happy that we’re back together. That I don’t have any risk of losing you anymore.”
I reached up and kissed him.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for accepting me…in spite of my…condition.”
He pulled away from me so he could look into my eyes. “Don’t you ever think that you’re less of a person…or a woman…just because you have lesser chances of conceiving, Brianne. And don’t ever think I would love you any less because of that. I don’t, and I won’t.”
He wiped the tears from my cheeks.
“Our chances of having a baby are more than you give it credit for, love. I know you never missed any of your doctor’s appointments. And your recent tests were getting better results.”
“But still no guarantees,” I replied.
“But our chances are increasing.”
I nodded. Then I stared back at him. “Wait a minute. How do you know all that?”
He stared at me for a while and then he smiled. “I get all the results of your tests and your gynecological reports are sent to me.”
“That’s illegal.”
“I’m your husband, Brianne. I have a right to know what’s happening to you, too.” He stared at me deeply and then he leaned forward and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips. “I don’t have to always be physically with you to keep my promises to keep you safe. I did that for more than a decade before we got engaged. Come on, don’t you know me by now?” There was laughter in his eyes.
