by Kadie Scott
Really weird, them not being in the master suite.
Carter knocked.
“Come in,” her mother called out.
Poking her head inside, Carter took in how her mother was sitting up in bed, looking as though she’d already brushed her teeth and hair and had decided to lounge around for the day. Except for the cast around her arm and the white lips, pinched with pain, of course.
“I just took my pain medication,” her mother said. “I’m waiting for it to kick in.”
Pulling a chair from the small sewing table in the room, which did not used to be in here, Carter sat beside her. Already the room smelled like her mother’s perfume, a nineties throwback, and how her mother always smelled. “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No.” Her mother patted her hand. “I just have to muscle through it.”
Carter smiled. “Cowboy up, as Dad would say.”
Evelyn Hill managed a small laugh which immediately turned into a wince and grunt of pain.
“Oops,” Carter said. “No laughing yet, huh?”
“I guess not.” Her mother took a breath, then fixed Carter with a speculative stare. “Where’s your young man?”
Carter frowned. “Do you mean Logan?”
“Who else?”
“Well, he’s in his thirties, so I wouldn’t call him a young man—”
Her mother adopted the prim look she got when her children were being silly. “You wouldn’t, but I would. Stop avoiding the question.”
Carter sat a little straighter. “I’m not avoiding anything. Logan will arrive tonight after he’s done with work.”
Three days he’d been gone. To avoid her. Or not. Logically, his not being here until now made sense. He’d only come to help with her mom so Carter could get to the Owens ranch and do her work. And she had, going back and forth each day he’d been gone, getting it done on her own as she always did. Plus, with her mother still in the hospital, it stood to reason he didn’t need to be here yet.
“I’m surprised he left,” her mother commented, bringing her out of her thoughts.
Carter twitched a shrug. “I’m not. Logan has a job and a life.” And maybe Angela.
Quit it.
“Hmmm.” Her mother hummed. Usually a sign she didn’t agree.
“What?” Carter prodded.
“A man who looks at my daughter the way he does, not to mention facing down a hospital room full of her family.” Her mother nodded like that made a point.
He looked at me in a way? What way?
Carter tamped down on the surge of interest like grinding the heel of her boot into a cockroach. The attraction between them wasn’t under dispute here. The viability of a relationship was. Still… no way would he reveal any amount of sexual attraction in front of others, especially not her family.
“We’re just friends.” And sleep together. Or slept. “And we work well together. I provide the analysis he needs to do his job and make him loosen up and have fun every so often. That’s it.”
“Hogwash.”
Carter wrinkled her nose. Hogwash was basically her mother’s nicer version of calling bullshit. Growing up, that word had basically been a message to her children to pull their heads out of their asses. Quickly.
With a sigh, Carter got up and wandered to the window. Dad must’ve drawn up the shades so her mother could see outside. Jennings’s old bedroom faced the front of the house which looked out to the barns and the bunkhouse where they put up their live-in ranch hands. From here, she could at least see the comings and goings of folks.
“I admit I’m attracted,” Carter said, still facing the window.
“Only attracted?” her mother pushed, though her voice had gentled from a moment before.
Carter hitched one shoulder in a shrug. “It could be more. But Logan is not the type to want more. Besides, his ex seems to be back in the picture.”
God, it hurt to admit that out loud. Way more than it should.
“Who says?”
Turning, she looked over her shoulder at her mother’s expression. Curiosity stared back at her, and maybe a bit of the determination all the Hill children had inherited from both their parents. Carter thought she’d had it once, not so long ago. The experience with Brian, as nice as he was, had maybe drained her of her chops.
Logan might not agree.
She shook off the melancholy trying to fog up her head. “I’ve never seen him date the same woman more than a few months. At most. Angela saw to that.”
“Maybe he hasn’t met the right woman to make him want to try for more. And she’s his ex for a reason.”
Carter moved back to the chair and took her mother’s hand. “She left him.”
“Doesn’t mean she was right for him.”
“Just because you caught the prize of the county doesn’t mean hanging my hopes on a man whose history says I shouldn’t and who seems to be still hung up on the woman who made him that way is a good idea, Mom.”
“The best things in life aren’t going to just happen to you, Carter.” With a grunt of pain and a determined glint in her eye, she leaned forward and put her good hand to Carter’s cheek. “Usually the things most worth it are the ones you have to fight hardest for. Ask yourself… Do you want this man?”
Carter sat back and stared at her parent, her mind a million miles away as she gave the question serious consideration.
Did she want Logan enough to fight for him?
She thought of her parents’ relationship, as well as her brothers and their wives. The adoration, the respect, the ease between each couple. That was what she wanted.
Her relationship with Brian had been easy. Comfortable. But, in the end, the decision to be together or not had been damn hard. With Logan, even earning his reluctant friendship had been hard. If he was right for her, shouldn’t it all be easy?
He made her madder than a wet hen faster than anyone else in her life, even her interfering brothers. He also made her come alive like no one else. Even just teasing him had her blood pumping. That had been true for years. The way his mind worked, and his determination to help the underdog ranchers aligned closely with her own goals. And boy howdy did she adore the way he kissed… and everything else he did to her body.
More than that, she liked who she was around him. He treated her as… valuable.
Not that she hadn’t had that from her family all her life. But the way Logan did was different.
She huffed a laugh lacking any amusement. “If I give any indication that I want more than just sex, that man will run a country mile. Probably screaming all the way.”
Her mother folded her hands primly over her lap at the sex comment, but they’d always been open about that stuff. “Then don’t say it out loud. Just be yourself and give him a chance to fall in love with that woman.”
“He’s had years to fall in love with that woman. Besides…” She gave a rueful grin. “Subtle is not exactly my thing.”
“You have a point there. Although, I will point out you were engaged most of those years.”
True.
“I didn’t raise a chicken for a daughter.”
That pulled a real laugh from Carter. “Now I know why Dad didn’t have a chance once you set your heart on him.”
“Men don’t know what they want until women tell them.” Her mother’s white lips pulled up in a shaky grin. “Don’t tell your father I said that.”
“As if I didn’t already know,” a deep voice said from the doorway.
“Oh!” Evelyn Hill startled then grunted and put a hand to her head, which apparently protested even that small, sharp movement. “Don’t sneak up on me John Hill.”
“Sorry, darlin’.” Immediately, her father crossed the room to take her mother’s good hand. “Won’t happen again.”
Her mother nodded, then winked at Carter who just shook her head in amazement. Even she wasn’t sure if that pain had been feigned or real. But it had done the trick of getting her fat
her off the topic.
“I’ll go get some breakfast on a tray.” Carter hopped up. “Any requests?”
“Something light. Maybe just toast.”
As she left the room, she could hear her dad arguing about her mother needing her strength to heal. She’d already planned to bring more than just toast, so she’d back him up in a bit.
In the meantime, her mind remained firmly latched to the conversation with her mother. Should she push the situation with Logan? Try for something more?
The way her heart contracted and then ticked over at an accelerated rate told her more than arguing with her own natural need to protect that same heart. Anything worth having was worth the risk.
The question was how?
Cash, ever the straightforward sheriff, would tell her to be up-front with Logan, tell him what she wanted. Funny, since he’d almost lost Holly by not being honest with himself about his feelings.
Autry, the family playboy, would tell her to pull out every feminine wile. Again, hilarious, given that Beth, who he adored, was the sweetest, most non-feminine-wily person in the county.
There was Jennings, who’d loved Ashley since childhood and had almost messed it all up several times. No way was she taking advice from that quarter.
Will, however… She might take a page from his book. His wife, Rusty, had been wary of love and relationships when he’d met her. It had taken Will’s natural patience—the same way he was breaking a skittish young horse with a gentle hand—to triumph eventually.
Except patience wasn’t exactly Carter’s strength. She didn’t have Will’s quiet, calm demeanor. Nor his faith that everything would work out the way it was supposed to.
What did she have that Logan couldn’t walk away from?
I love him.
Carter put down the knife she’d been buttering bread with, because she felt the need to have both hands on the counter to help her breathe for a minute.
She loved him. An emotion that had crept up on her as quietly as the realization. Each small thing, each day spent with him leading her down the path without her realizing it. It made the way she’d jumped into bed with him add up. She wasn’t the casual sex kind. Never had been.
Terror rode a rush of adrenaline kicking through her system. She was in love with a man who she knew for a fact was determined not to love.
What an addlepated, idiotic thing to have done to yourself, Carter Hill.
She knew how her brothers would approach this, but she hadn’t asked herself how she would approach it.
Ambush the guy.
She’d done it before. Showed up at his house and dragged him to a movie, the one thing they had in common outside of work. That had been the start of their friendship. Every movie, every coffee, every lunch, everything she’d been the one to insist on. Eventually, he’d just stopped grumbling about it.
Would it work again? So much more was on the line this time.
Carter took a deep breath and shook her head at herself. Logan Cartez wasn’t going to know what hit him.
*
Logan had waited to arrive at High Hill until he assumed dinner would be over and most of the Hills staying in the house already in bed. The last thing he needed was an audience. Knowing Carter, the second he showed his face she’d tease him about running away. Or possibly ask him about Angela.
His former fiancée hadn’t let up on texts and calls, so he’d finally given in and agreed to meet her—an interesting situation overall.
Coffee at his regular place. She’d showed up looking her usual gorgeous self—long honey-blonde hair in shining waves, petite body encased in a figure-hugging dress and stilettos. Which did nothing for him anymore. Hard to look past her actions.
“Hi, honey,” she’d said and went up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.
Just as though they hadn’t been apart for years. He’d stepped back before she connected.
After they’d ordered, she’d picked an intimate table in a dark corner. “I’m so glad to see you,” she said, her perfect smile bright.
Logan took a swallow of his coffee and studied her. What was going on in Angela’s head right now? “I have to say, I’m surprised you asked to meet up.”
She shrugged. “Zane was always jealous of you, or I would have been in touch more. You know how it goes when you’re trying to keep a relationship going.”
“Not really.” Only with her, and he’d thought they were fine until she informed him otherwise.
She wrinkled her nose at him. A move he used to find cute, but now it appeared more calculated than charming. “Anyway… We broke up recently.”
She paused, as if expecting him to comment.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Logan said. “Breakups are rough.”
“It’s for the best.” How she managed to look both tragic and hopeful at the same time was quite a feat. “But now that it’s over, I was thinking that maybe you and I could try to be friends, again. I’ve missed you.”
Logan stared across the small table at the woman he’d once thought he would marry. The cozy scents of coffee, and low murmurs of the other patrons should’ve made this feel normal. Just two adults getting coffee. Her words, and their history, and the woman waiting for him on a ranch two hours away, gave this a more surreal patina.
“I’m sorry you’re going through a breakup,” he said slowly. “But I don’t think friends is a good idea.”
He would never trust her motivations. Either she was truly hurting and turning to the familiar for comfort. In which case, he could be sympathetic but as soon as a shiny new man came along—one not obsessed with his career—that would end that. Or her motivations were more selfish than that, and she’d decided his paycheck was worth the lack of attention. Or was that his own bitterness showing?
“Why not?” She blinked big green eyes at him. “It would be like this. One of us would call the other for coffee. Or just text once in a while to see how the other is doing. You have friends, Logan. It would be like that.”
Friends. An image of Carter popped into his head. Not because of the sex and whatever the hell was going on, but her as his friend.
Because she had made the effort. Carter had dragged him off to coffee like this after working on details for a case and they’d talked. For at least an hour. About nothing and anything. And a week later, she’d texted him something funny related to one of those conversations, though, he couldn’t for the life of him remember what. Within a month, she texted him several times a week, and had invited herself over to his apartment bearing Tex-Mex takeout and a rented movie.
That had been easy. Somehow. Though in hindsight, maybe not as much for her. She’d worked pretty hard at it. But Carter seemed to want to be friends because she genuinely liked him. What was Angela’s motivation?
This… This was not like that. This was strange.
What would Carter advise? After all, she was always telling him to put himself in other people’s shoes and be more empathetic. Then again, she had no problem speaking up either. He did his best to let his ex down gently. Despite their history, he could be kind.
“I’m sorry, Angela. Breakups suck, and I feel for you. But you’re smart and fun and I know you’ll land on your feet. Just not with me.”
She’d pouted and acted as though he was just being silly. Like she didn’t believe him. A fact that grated, so he’d got out of there pretty quickly. Even then, she’d hugged him goodbye.
And kept texting him.
He didn’t want to have to be harsh with her, no matter what she’d done to him. Maybe she’d give up eventually. And if Carter asked, what the hell did he say? Though probably she wouldn’t even ask. Texts with Carter had been brief and to the point, all related to the case and her progress, or logistics for tonight and tomorrow. None of Carter’s usual shenanigans. He’d been waiting for a picture of her brushing her teeth before she texted him good night. Or even pictures of chickens as a non-too-subtle hint. Instead, she’d kept things distant. Professio
nal.
Pulling his car up behind the mostly dark house, he turned off the engine and paused. He had no idea why.
Maybe because deep down he wanted to track down Carter and bury his face in her hair. Breath her in. A need… no, a compulsion. Stronger maybe than it had ever been even with Angela. A fact that should scare him the hell away.
But apparently not enough, because here he was.
The back door, which led into the mudroom and then the kitchen, opened, spilling yellow light into the night around him. But Carter didn’t stand framed in the doorway. Whoever was there was male. One of her brothers or maybe her dad. Logan got out and lifted a hand in a casual wave before going to his trunk to pull out his suitcase.
As soon as he made it into the light, he could see her father was the person waiting. “Mr. Hill,” he said with a nod of greeting.
“Son. What’re you doing just sitting in your car?” The words were accompanied by a searching look that implied Logan might be losing it.
Given his real reason for sitting there, he might very well be. “Just wrapping up a call.” The lie should’ve been a simple one, but he stumbled over the words. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”
Most ranchers kept early hours for bedtime, given the hour they rose in the morning.
John Hill waived him off. “I was up.”
A man of few words. “Good. I assume I’m in the same room as last time?”
John nodded.
“I’ll get out of your hair then.” He turned to head down the hallway that would take him past the family room and to the wing with the bedrooms. Then paused. “Is Carter already asleep?”
John cocked his head, regarding Logan closely for a long second. “Last time I checked, she was out in the barn.”
What was she doing out there? Logan kept the questions to himself and nodded again. “Thanks. I’ll track her down so we can talk about tomorrow.”
“Suit yourself.” John headed to the refrigerator, obviously not really interested.
Logan took his suitcase to his room. Unpacked. Got out his computer with every intention of working. No way was he tracking Carter down in the barn. He’d wait until he could hear her moving around in her room, next door to his own, and talk to her then.
