Pineapple Jailbird

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Pineapple Jailbird Page 13

by Amy Vansant


  She screamed as the gator slammed his nose into the bars. The fence shuddered, but she held on as the animal rammed itself against it again, unable to fit its nose through. She hung on the opposite side, a tasty morsel so close, but unreachable.

  Charlotte braced her feet on the wall below the fence to push her torso farther from the barrier, fearing Hangry would find a way to push his bumpy snout through. She smelled swamp and rotting meat as the dragon propped his face up on the fence and clawed at her with his stubby legs.

  Please stop, please give up…

  “Oh!” Thirty feet away, a woman in exercise shorts and a bright pink tank top walked briskly around the corner only to stop dead in her tracks.

  The alligator turned to look at her. She was on the side of his good eye.

  “Run!” screamed Charlotte. The woman was far enough away and young enough she could make good progress before the gator reached top speed.

  The woman turned and bolted.

  The gator began to move in the walker’s direction, but he seemed to lack the enthusiasm and sense of urgency he’d enjoyed during his pursuit of Charlotte.

  Hangry’s head turned back and forth a few times as he tried to decide which direction led to dinner.

  Charlotte’s arms were getting tired.

  The alligator gave her one last lingering stare with his blue eye before turning to slowly walk away in the direction the walker had run. He strolled down the length of the fence, intermittently banging the bars with his snout as he tried to find a way to enter the water.

  Too much excitement for one day. He’d settle for fish now.

  When the beast had moved far enough away, Charlotte scrambled up the fence and swung her leg over, unable to hang on any longer. She sat there perched on top and waited for her heart to stop banging out of her chest. Her shoulders throbbed. Blood dripped from her skinned knee and ran in ever thinning rivulets down her shin.

  Sirens filled the air and Charlotte heard cars screeching to a halt in the parking lot above. She hoped Miles was still there waiting to collect his gator, but she suspected he was long gone.

  He hadn’t stuck around for the python.

  The walker must have called the police. Charlotte thanked the heavens the woman had decided to exercise that day. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could have held on to those bars.

  Soon men with lassos on sticks and guns swarmed over the hill. Others came jogging down the path.

  She pointed down the walk.

  “He went that way.”

  A man in a t-shirt that said Gator Getter nodded and ran off in that direction as an officer strode forward and helped her off the fence.

  As Charlotte found her footing, she heard a commotion coming from somewhere around the bend. A few minutes later three trappers approached carrying the alligator between them. Its mouth had been wrapped shut with duct tape and it hung in their arms, either tranquilized or resigned to its fate.

  Charlotte pulled out her phone, grateful it hadn’t ended up in the river. She needed to call Declan. She just had to figure out how to explain why she hadn’t mentioned she’d left the house.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Someone just tried to kill me with an alligator.”

  Declan’s eyes grew wide. He was watching crime techs dust the paragliding contraption for prints while another group folded the chute into an oversized evidence box. Well, they were folding the chute into a box in theory. In reality, Deputy Daniel had been wrestling to cram the billowing silk into an oversized evidence box for fifteen minutes, as if the chute were a sentient creature who’d sworn never to be captured.

  Declan had stepped further out so he could hear Charlotte over the swearing, but he regularly glanced over his shoulder to be sure the chute hadn’t finished with Deputy Daniel and started toward him.

  “An alligator? Are you hurt?”

  “No. Well, I think I might have pulled something in my shoulder and I scraped my knee pretty good, but I’m not drowned and tucked under a rock in a lake or anything so there’s that.”

  “Why were you in the water?”

  Charlotte giggled the way she did when she realized she’d been nerding-out. “Oh, I wasn’t. That’s just what alligators like to do.”

  Declan felt a pang of jealousy that Charlotte’s news trumped his own. He thought he’d finally win a game of “who had the weirdest day” with her, but once again...

  “How did this happen? Did they slip it in your bath?”

  “No, I—” Charlotte cut short abruptly.

  “Charlotte?”

  He heard her sigh. “I’m here. I’m bracing myself to reveal a tiny fib I told you earlier.”

  Declan closed his eyes. He knew what she was about to say. He’d always known and simply pushed aside the little voice telling him because he’d been on a mission of his own. Blade seeing her sneaking out of her house had confirmed his suspicions.

  “You weren’t home when I talked to you earlier, were you?”

  “No. I was on my way to the Riverwalk.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Miles Davis called and told me to meet him there. He said he was going to flip on his boss.”

  “And you believed him?”

  “Not really. But hope springs eternal. I had to try.”

  “No, you didn’t. Or you could have gone with back up. Like me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “He said to come alone. I had to go then. I didn’t have time.”

  Declan shook his head, aware he was about to use one of the old-timey sayings Charlotte often used, thanks to her upbringing in the retirement park. “If he’d told you to jump off a bridge, would you have?’

  “No. But there was another reason I didn’t tell you.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Because you would have tried to stop me.”

  True.

  “Like I could stop you from doing anything,” he muttered.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Did they catch Miles?”

  “No. He got away. I’m almost glad. I’m fascinated to see what animal he tries to kill me with next.”

  Declan sighed. “I guess the important thing is that you’re not hurt, but we really need to come up with a plan for situations like this. It’s too dangerous for you or anyone to meet crazy people on your own.”

  “Fair enough. What are you up to? Is that someone cursing I hear in the background?”

  Declan turned to find Deputy Daniels stuffing the last of the sheet into the box. His face glistened with sweat as he grinned and pointed a thumb to the sky.

  “I got this son of a—”

  “Yes,” said Declan into the phone, feeling his cheeks grow flush as he realized what a hypocrite he was about to sound like to Charlotte.

  “Did you get a T.V. in the shop? Or are the old ladies fighting over a particularly exquisite throw pillow?” she asked.

  “Neither. I have a confession to make, too. Someone called me and asked me to meet them at an abandoned airfield.”

  “What? Who? Why?”

  “I don’t know who. Anonymous. But I went in the hopes I could help you.”

  “Ah ha! And you went by yourself and didn’t tell me?”

  “Yes. To keep you out of harm’s way. I didn’t know you were on your way to wrestle an alligator.”

  “So during our last conversation, we were both lying to each other?”

  He nodded on his side of the line, grimacing. “Yes.”

  “I don’t know if this bodes well for our relationship.”

  “Last time we’ll do it.”

  “Last time,” she echoed. “Deal. Any alligators where you are?”

  “No. A man in a motorized paraglider tried to shoot me.”

  “What? Are you okay?”

  He glanced down at his tattered shirt. “I’m fine. I tore my favorite white polo running through a forest.”

  “What the heck is a motorized paraglider?”

  “It’s
what I’m calling a guy in a chair hanging from a parachute with an airplane propeller strapped to his back. I’m not sure what the official name for that contraption is.”

  “I think death machine.”

  He chuckled. “Sounds about right.”

  “So what happened?”

  “I hit golf balls at him until he dropped the gun.”

  “Golf balls?”

  “A club and a pile of balls were abandoned near the woods so I used them.” He chuckled. “I was a real Tiger woods.”

  Charlotte groaned. “Yikes.”

  “Sorry. Anyway, I went running for the gun but he got away before I could get him. Frank sent guys out to dust his death machine and gather it for evidence. They’re here now. Deputy Dan just spent half an hour trying to pack up the chute. You would have been hysterical.”

  “I’m sorry I missed that.”

  “Me too.”

  “Why is someone trying to kill you?”

  “For helping you, I guess.”

  Charlotte grew quiet. Declan could almost hear her thinking. He had an idea of his own.

  “You sneaked out?” he asked.

  Charlotte responded with a grunt, still firmly in her own thoughts. “Hm?”

  “Do Andy and Butch think you’re still in the house?”

  “Oh. Yes. I sneaked out the back.”

  “Don’t go back to your place. Go to my house,” he suggested.

  “I don’t know that your house is any safer. Seems they’re after you now, too.”

  “We know Andy and Butch are Jamie’s eyes, right? Maybe Jamie isn’t trying to keep you alive as hard as we thought. This guy trying to kill you with animals sounds like her sense of humor. Maybe Andy and Butch aren’t there to protect you, but to spy on you and tell her where you are.”

  “Jamie told me it wasn’t her. She said she wouldn’t use snakes to kill people because it wasn’t clever enough.”

  “And she never lies.”

  “Hm. Good point. Though I’d hate to think Andy and Butch were trying to kill me. I mean, I always knew spying on me was part of their mission, but—”

  “I know. But Jamie’s threatened them and they have to think of their families. And they are in witness protection. We don’t know what they’re capable of or what they’ve done in the past.”

  “I guess that’s true.”

  “At least maybe at my house we could try and work some of this out, under the radar for a bit. I’ll tell Seamus to meet you there and I’ll be there as soon as I can get out of here.”

  Charlotte chuckled. “Now Seamus is my bodyguard?”

  “Seamus is a bit of a wild card, but he’s also trained. You’ll be safe with him.”

  “I need to get Abby.”

  “I’ll grab her. I’ll pretend I’m visiting you and then sneak out the back with Abby, same as you did. Then I’ll sneak back and go out the front like I’m leaving.”

  “Okay.” Charlotte paused. “Be careful. I’ve sort of grown accustomed to you being alive.”

  He smiled. “I’ll try and keep it that way. You be careful too.”

  They hung up and Declan glanced over at the deputies loading the machine into the back of an open bed truck.

  “Are you finished with me?”

  Deputy Daniel nodded and puffed out his chest, seeming very officious for a man who’d just been rolling on the ground with a rainbow parachute. “We’re good. We’ll be in touch if we need anything else.”

  “Thanks.” Declan nodded and headed through the woods toward the airport parking lot where he’d left his car. As he broke from the tree line, his phone rang, and once again a voice asked him if he was willing to accept a call from prison.

  He agreed.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Have you been in contact with your mother?” asked Declan.

  Stephanie frowned. She’d called Declan to ask him things, not to have him ask her things.

  “You don’t say hello anymore?”

  “Someone just tried to kill me and Charlotte, and I’d like to know if she knows anything about either attempt.”

  “Someone tried to kill you?”

  “Yes. A man in some kind of flying contraption tried to shoot me.”

  Stephanie felt her face prickle as the blood drained from it. “What kind of flying contraption?”

  “Some kind of motorized paraglider.”

  “Huh.” Stephanie rubbed her eye with her opposite hand.

  “Huh? What?” asked Declan.

  “It’s just strange.”

  Stephanie looked away to keep him from reading her expression.

  Mother.

  During the brief time she’d spent catching up with her mother—before Jamie had disappeared once more—her mother had told her about a sniper she’d used to kill a man from a paraglider in Oludeniz, Turkey. There were no mountains in Florida for paragliding, but Declan’s story was too similar to be a coincidence. It had to be the same man. A sniper specializing in paraglider potshots. How many of those could there be?

  “Hey, I need that phone,” said another voice, a little too loudly, on Stephanie’s side of the line. Stephanie turned to find an angry Latina woman pointing at her.

  She smiled. “Mariana, isn’t it?”

  The woman’s face twitched at the sound of her name. “Yeah. So? I need that phone. That’s all you need to know.”

  “Just a second, Declan, darling.” Stephanie lowered the phone from her ear, her gaze never leaving Mariana’s.

  “Well?” barked the Latina, but Stephanie could see her growing uneasy. She’d begun to subtly rock back and forth with nervous energy.

  “You may have the phone when I’m finished.”

  Mariana thrust out a hand. “I need it now.”

  Stephanie raised the phone back to her ear.

  “Sorry. The natives are restless. Just one more second.”

  “Just ask your mother for info if you get a chance, will you?” said Declan.

  “Of course.”

  “Oh, what did you call for?” asked Declan.

  “Just looking for information—”

  “Bitch, I told you I need that phone.”

  The Latina now stood so close to Stephanie she could smell on her breath the hamburgers they’d had for lunch. The meat was rotting between her teeth.

  Stephanie put a hand over the lower half of the receiver. “You should consider flossing.”

  “What? What you say to me?” Mariana grabbed the chest of Stephanie’s shirt, balling it in her fist.

  Stephanie lolled her head to the right and made eye contact with MuuMuu who sat nearby on a bench. If Mariana tried to swing at her before MuuMuu could lumber over and shut the nuisance up, her plan was to break the phone receiver across the bridge of the Latina’s nose, but she really didn’t want to do that. She needed to finish her conversation with Declan.

  MuuMuu stood and moved toward Stephanie. Mariana was too busy screaming to notice. When MuuMuu tapped her on the shoulder she whirled, raising her fist, ready to strike. When she saw MuuMuu staring down at her, her fist lowered.

  “Hey, MuuMuu,” she said, her voice sticking in her throat.

  MuuMuu poked a sausage finger into Mariana’s chest. “You have a problem with Blondie, you have a problem with me.”

  Mariana glanced at Stephanie. Stephanie smiled and shooed her away.

  “Go on now.”

  The Latina’s expression darkened. Deciding against a confrontation, she walked away to flop dramatically into a chair, grumbling in Spanish.

  Stephanie winked at MuuMuu. After her earlier scuffle with the enormous woman, she’d found time to find out what the Tongan needed. MuuMuu had a sister—a terrifying thought—desperately in need of legal advice. Stephanie agreed to take care of the sister in return for MuuMuu’s help during her time in prison. The arrangement was already working well.

  “Thanks, girlfriend.”

  MuuMuu nodded and lumbered back to her seat.

>   “What’s going on?” asked Declan from his end of the line. The side where people didn’t threaten you when you were on the phone and you didn’t have to befriend sasquatch to cover your ass.

  Well, at least not as often.

  Stephanie straightened her crumpled bright orange top with her free hand and lowered a steady gaze on Mariana, doing her best to telegraph a message with her eyes.

  Please try that again on the outside, Miss Thing. I won’t need MuuMuu out there.

  Mariana looked away.

  “Stephanie, are you there?”

  Stephanie returned her attention to Declan. “Sorry. Yes. Little disturbance. It’s been dealt with.”

  “Sounds as if prison agrees with you.”

  “It’s almost better than a South American jungle. Maybe. The food’s worse.”

  “We were living on rations and jungle bugs.”

  “Exactly.”

  Declan chuckled. “So why did you call?”

  “To get an update. Are you and your girlie making progress when people aren’t trying to kill you?” Stephanie paused. “Did someone try to sniper her from a paraglider too?”

  “No. A man your mother identified as one of her WITSEC clients, Miles Davis, tried to kill Charlotte with an alligator.”

  “Miles Davis the musician?”

  “No. Different one. We think that’s who slid the python through her window.”

  “Naturally.”

  “And speaking of Miles Davis, did you tell your mother about your coral dream?”

  Stephanie felt a flush of heat rise to her cheeks. She hadn’t told her mother about her dreams of drowning in a field of coral and she never would. Jamie would see her nightmares as a sign of weakness, and nothing was more dangerous than revealing your weaknesses to Jamie. Declan was different. Declan was the only one who could see her.

  “No. I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet.”

  “Well, I don’t think it’s just a dream.”

  Stephanie perked. “What do you mean?”

  “Your mother told Charlotte she suspects Miles is doing the dirty work for someone else. She said Miles was struck by lightning as a child and has the image of his veins flash-fried onto his skin.”

 

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