by Lola Kidd
"No problem," he said. "I told you I wanted to help you with the snow. I honestly don't mind waiting a day or two to make sure you're all right."
"I'm more worried about my parents. I'm going to give them a call, actually, if you don't mind. I mean, I'll be in here warm while you're out there working."
"I don't mind at all. Call your parents. I'll come get you when I'm done."
She took her phone to her bedroom and waited until after she'd heard the front door open and close. Then she peeked out of her window to make sure Crosby was outside.
"Mom?" There was only one person she wanted to talk to right now.
"Hi, honey. How's it going?" her mother answered.
"Just getting the snow taken care of. I wanted to see how you guys were doing."
"You know your father loves the snow. We're doing just fine."
Her father was a polar bear shifter. He was made for the snow, but they were both getting up there in years. She didn't like that they were still shoveling the snow themselves. It wasn't as dangerous for shifters as it was for humans, but she still worried. She had hired a company to plow their driveway and shovel the walkway for them, but her father always managed to do the walkway himself. It was frustrating, but she couldn't tell him to stop. It brought him so much pleasure that it seemed criminal to try to take that away from him.
"Mom, can ask you something about shifters and their mates?"
"Of course, honey. I'm sure you want to know how Damario feels about you. Oh, to be young and in love again," her mother sighed.
"Yeah. Exactly." She wasn't ready to explain the full situation yet. "How does a shifter know their mate is their mate?"
"It's hard to explain. But it's a feeling deep inside. When you know, you know."
"You think a shifter would lie about someone being their mate so they could sleep with them?"
Her mother laughed. "I don't think many shifters have that problem. Human women love shifter men. I find it hard to believe that any shifter would lie about something like that. It's too special to us. I haven't heard anyone use it as a pickup line in my whole life."
"Neither have I. I was just wondering."
"Don't worry about it so much, honey. It's a new relationship, and you shouldn't take things faster than you feel comfortable with."
It was like her mother was right there in the room with her and could see everything written on her face. She might have been talking about the wrong relationship, but that was exactly what Holly had needed to hear.
"I won't, Mom."
"I need to go check on your father. I love you."
"Love you too."
She felt much better now. That was the answer: they were moving too fast. Maybe this was how she was going to get over Damario, or maybe it was the real deal. She did feel different about Crosby. Even in the short time she'd known him, she felt taken with him, but she couldn't be sure Crosby was the one. On the other hand, she no longer thought he was throwing around the M-word as a way to get into her pants or trick her for some other reason. There was a good chance he was as sincere as he seemed to be.
"I'm finished with the snow in the front," Crosby called from outside her door.
"You can open the door," Holly told him.
She hadn't heard him come in. She wondered how long he'd been outside her door.
He opened the door to the bedroom. "I'm going to take off now."
She nodded. "All right. I'll see you out."
They went to her back door, and Crosby disrobed and handed her the clothes she had lent him. Seeing him naked still sent a thrill through her. He was the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen. She still couldn't believe she'd been able to sleep with him.
God help her, she wanted to do it again. Why was she having him leave again? It was hard to have good sense when he was standing in front of her like this.
"Thank you for everything you've done for me." He took her hands in his. "I really care about you, Holly, and I hope you'll reconsider coming to visit me after Christmas. I'm sorry I move so fast and I freak you out. But if you come to visit me, there'll be no strings attached. It's just for us to have a good time."
She nodded. There were so much she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to say it. If she told him now that she cared for him a lot, and then when she went to Celebration, she changed her mind, she would hurt him so much.
She couldn't do that to him. She had to keep her feelings to herself until she could be sure of how she felt. It was the nicest thing she could do.
"I'm not sure yet, but if you leave me your number, I'll give you a call."
"My number is on the refrigerator."
She turned and looked. There it was, written on her wipe-off board in giant letters: his name and phone number. He'd thought of everything.
"Okay, perfect. You can expect a call."
"I'm looking forward to it. Goodbye, Holly."
Crosby opened the sliding glass door, and the cold nipped at her feet as he closed the door and went out into the snow naked. She didn't know how he could manage. She was freezing after a half-second of cold.
She pressed her hands against the glass and watched and waited.
The minutes ticked by, and nothing happened. She could see his muscles straining, but he wasn't shifting. Something had to be wrong.
She opened the door. "Is everything all right?"
"My animal is just giving me some trouble. Nothing to worry about."
"It's very cold, and I don't know how long you can stand out there. Want to come back inside?"
"No, I'm leaving now," he snapped. "Just go back inside and close the door. It'll be fine."
She didn't think it was going to be fine. He was going to lose some toes, or worse, if he stayed out there, and this was all her fault. She shouldn't have pushed him to leave when his animal wasn't ready, but she had no idea what to say to get him to come back inside. This was turning into one great big mess.
Chapter Eleven
This was so humiliating. His mate was watching him, and he couldn't shift. He wanted to, but he couldn't trust his animal, and that lack of trust was making it hard for him to hand over the reins. Each time his animal approached and tried to take control, Crosby pulled back.
He felt that if he let the animal take over, it wouldn't agree to leave. It was just going to sit here in Holly's back yard until she came out.
It wasn't like they could even talk to each other. He didn't know what the animal would do, and that was too risky.
It was still snowing heavily. The trip home was going to be hard, even aside from having to leave his mate. He wanted to get it over with, but his animal wasn't cooperating. It wanted its mate too much.
"Please come back inside," Holly called from the door.
"Just go back in. I'm telling you, I'm fine."
He wasn't fine. His fingers were starting to turn blue, and his teeth were chattering.
It was now or never. His animal approached him once again, and this time Crosby fought back his fear. He communicated with his animal, and a peace came over him. This time, he gave himself over to his animal and let the reindeer take control.
His limbs elongated, and he dropped down on all fours. In the blink of an eye, he went from the driver's seat to the passenger's, and he was no longer cold. The reindeer had control, and he could take a step back.
It was exhilarating. Everything that had been a problem only moments before now meant nothing. So what if he had to leave Holly? That didn't mean he was going to have to leave her forever. He had to give her space. She could come to him. Right now, all he was doing was pushing her away by being so insistent about his feelings.
His animal understood that. It was silly that he had been afraid of something that had been with him since before he was born. His animal knew what they needed to do to get their mate, and that was to leave. He would be giving her space to love them.
The animal turned and looked at Holly. She was so beautiful. He was a lucky ma
n to have her as his mate.
After one last look, he took to the sky.
Flying during a storm wasn't fun, but this time he knew his animal wasn't going to let him down. Together, they were going to win back their mate.
Crosby was glad he wasn't the one in control right now. The skies were treacherous. He couldn't get high enough to go around the storm; all he could do was fly in the snow. Even as a reindeer, the cold was uncomfortable. He didn't know if he was one of the odd ones or if all reindeer felt this way, but he hated flying in the cold. Normally, it would take him about forty minutes to get back home via the air. This time, he couldn't see how it could take him less than two hours.
The whole way home, all he could think about was Holly. It pained him to leave her, but it was the best thing for all of them.
The two hours he'd estimated turned into three. He was growing sure his animal was going to collapse from exhaustion when he finally saw the lights of Celebration. He was home.
When he touched down in his own back yard, he immediately shifted back to human form. His animal was exhausted and didn't want to take another step. Even as a human, he practically had to drag himself inside. He was lucky that being a reindeer had given him time to recover his body heat. It seemed like it was even colder in Celebration than it had been in Lewisburg.
He loved his home. It was all his own, and he'd worked hard to have it. But now, without Holly beside him, it seemed so empty, and he wondered how long he was going to have to stay here without her.
He poured himself a stiff drink and took a moment before heading for the shower. He needed to get cleaned up.
He still had two weeks of vacation left, and he didn't know how he was going to spend all of that time alone.
***
Watching him take to the sky, Holly felt a stab to her heart. This was a mistake.
As surely as she knew that the sun was going to rise in the east and set in the west, she knew she shouldn't be doing this. She was making a mistake.
She wanted to call out to him and tell him to stop, but it was too late. He couldn't hear her anymore.
She was the one who had made him leave. She was the one who had told him they were moving too fast, and she couldn't tell him now that she was wrong. She was going to give him whiplash with the way she kept changing her mind so quickly.
But now, she knew. Watching him leave was enough to set her straight. She didn't want him to go. That was why she had asked to shovel the walkway and why she had tried to delay him. She wanted him to stay.
Logically, she knew this was stupid, that it made no sense at all. She had just met him. There was no way she could be sure she loved him or that she wanted to be with him forever, but she felt both those things now. Now that she wasn't trying to hold back, she knew she did want to be with him... forever. She wanted to be with him forever.
It was crazy. If she tried to explain it to another human, they'd tell her she was crazy. But none of that mattered.
This was her heart, and her heart was telling her there was something here, something that was real. But this silly snowstorm meant she couldn't go and tell him that.
She lay down on her couch, and tears spilled from her eyes. How could she have been so stupid? She'd had the perfect man right there in front of her, and she'd let him leave. No, she hadn't just let him leave, she'd pushed him to leave, even when it was a danger to his health.
She was such a stupid woman. How long would it be acceptable to wait before she called him? Celebration was a five-hour drive from Lewisburg. She had no idea how long it would take to fly there, but she could guess.
She'd wait seven hours, and then she would call him. Seven excruciating, agonizing hours. Her house was clean, so there was nothing for her to do inside. That only left shoveling the snow.
At least it gave her something to keep her mind occupied. She wished it would snow faster so she could shovel more. Over the next five hours, she went outside and cleared snow eight times. She had to have the cleanest driveway in the entire town. She even went to the street and shoveled so her car would be able to get in and out. That was a useless endeavor, because when as the plows went through, they were going to fill that space back up with snow, but she didn't care. She needed the physical exertion.
She still had two hours to go, and that was far too long. Shoveling all that snow had exhausted her. She put on a Christmas movie marathon and closed her eyes. A little nap wouldn't hurt. When she woke up, it would be closer to the time she could call him.
In her dreams, all she could see was flying reindeer and Christmas lights. She couldn't wait to see him again. Even in her dreams, he occupied her every thought.
When she woke, it was dark outside. She'd been asleep for four hours, and her driveway was already covered in snow again. She would have to go out and clear it one more time, but she didn't mind.
It had been nine hours since Crosby had left, longer than she needed to wait. She went to the refrigerator and dialed his number with shaking fingers.
The phone rang and rang, but there was no answer.
Holly hung her head and cried. She couldn't leave a message; she would sound crazy. She needed to talk to him.
She would have to try again. But how many times could she call in an hour before she seemed crazy?
While she was trying to decide when to call next, there was a giant boom, and the floor shook slightly.
She knew that sound.
She ran to her back door. There, in the snow outside, waiting for her, was a reindeer.
Chapter Twelve
Crosby knew he wasn't supposed to come back, but he couldn't help himself. After an hour at home by himself, he was going stir crazy. He had to go back and try again.
He'd been exhausted, and it was hard to get his animal off the ground. But after a hearty meal and a few hours of sleep, his animal was ready to go again. With the promise of a mate waiting for him at the end of the trip, he was sure his animal would have flown to hell and back.
On the way there, while his reindeer was in control, he thought of what he was going to say to Holly. He had to explain why he was back already, and he had to do it in a way that wouldn't push her further away. The only thing he could hope was that she felt the same way about him, that her home felt empty without him in it.
He didn't want to go back to his old life. He wanted to start his new life with her today, because he couldn't bear to spend another day without her. It had taken him so long to find her that it seemed a waste to spend any time apart.
The flight back was easier than his flight to Celebration. The snow was falling less hard for most of the trip. It was only when he got closer to Lewisburg that it picked back up again.
It was rough going for the last few miles. His tired animal landed with a crash in Holly's back yard.
Just as before, she appeared at the door. This time, he walked up to it still in animal form. His animal gazed at her before he shifted back to human form.
He waved. "I need some help. Are you going to let me in this time? Or should I walk around to the front again?"
There were tears running down her face when she threw the door open and flung herself into his arms. "I'm so sorry. I should never have let you leave. I was so stupid. Can you ever forgive me?"
"If you let me inside, I think I'd forgive you for anything. I'm freezing my buns off out here."
"Oh, yes. Please come in."
He picked her up in his arms and carried her inside, shutting the door behind them. Then he sat down with her on the couch and pulled the blanket over them.
"What were you saying?" he asked.
"I was wrong. You should never have left. And if you're going to go, I should go with you. I believe you. I believe I'm your mate."
"Would you be mad if I asked you to say it again? I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that."
She took his face in her hands. "You're my mate. You're the one I'm supposed to be with. I know it's too soon, and I kno
w this sounds crazy, but you're my mate."
"It's not every day you get to hear a human say that." He didn't stop the tears as they slipped from his eyes. "I don't think you understand how happy you've made me. I've waited my entire life to be able to say this. Holly, I love you. You're my mate, and I want to be with you forever."
"I feel the exact same way. I was talking to my mom earlier, and she told me you know when you know. But I didn't know right away. I didn't know until you left. It was like a piece of my heart was leaving with you."
He nuzzled his face into her neck. "That's exactly how I feel. That's why I had to come back. I had to make you understand. I was so set on staying away and letting you come around on your own, but I couldn't. I had to come back to you. I don't ever want to be apart from you again if we can help it."
"Not ever."
They lay quietly on the couch, holding each other and watching the snow fall. Now that they had gotten the first M-word out of the way, he wondered if it was too soon to use the second.
"So, you're going to come visit me in Celebration?"
"I hope to come and live with you in Celebration. If that's what you want."
"You know the only way you can do that easily is if we get married."
"I think I'd like that very much. If you want that."
Crosby smiled against her skin. "I'd very much like that too. I'd marry you right now if I could."
She laughed. "I don't think we can pull that one off, but sooner rather than later would be nice."
So, it was done, then. She was his mate, and she loved him. They were going to be married, and they were going to live in Celebration together. He had never dreamed that it would happen this fast, but he wouldn't change a single thing for anything in the world.
It was a Christmas miracle. He had his mate. He'd finally found her, and now he was going to be with her forever.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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Claws and Effect
Small Town Shifters Book 1
Rhett Lundthal’s job to make sure shifter-human relations are running smoothly in his small town. But he’s having trouble keeping the peace now that a prank has turned his life upside down.
