by Amy Sumida
“What if you didn’t have to stop those feelings, but Morgan and Shayne didn’t have to either?” Kenneth asks and it immediately throws me off balance.
I consider his question, and my nose wrinkles. “I’m not sure. You mean… What? We all develop feelings for her?” I scratch my head. The headache’s come back full force with all of this thinking, and all I want to do is curl up in bed and slip into oblivion until tomorrow.
Maybe I’m having some weird dream and this is all in my imagination. Perhaps I’m having some weird side effect to the alcohol.
A sharp sting on my arm makes me squint down in shock. Did Mrs. T actually just pinch me?
She smiles sweetly. “Focus, dear.”
Kenneth nods before explaining, “That’s exactly what I mean. You’ve got feelings for this Arlia, your brothers have also developed feelings for her. Why not solve it by all of you being with her?”
“I-I… Look, I’m not sure what you want to achieve here. I love my best friends, my brothers, but are you seriously fuckin’ suggesting I share a girl with them? Fuck her and pass her on to the next?”
“Watch your tongue!” Kenneth barks angrily, slamming his fist down on the table.
Detachment settles over me at his shout. I feel caged in and become defensive. Pushing my chair back, I stand, my voice rising with every word until it turns into a shout. “You’re sitting there like that’s not what you’re suggesting. How the fuck can you suggest your son share a potential girlfriend with his best friends? It’s not fuckin’ normal!”
Kenneth stands and leans over the table, his voice dipping dangerously low. “Are you forgetting the damn photos all over this table, Benji? Both me and Tina had another partner. We’d still have another partner if he didn’t die before Shayne was born!” He shouts before charging out of the room, pain clear on his face.
I immediately look to Morgan in shock and surprise. Holy fuck! What just happened? My friend’s face mirrors my own, which tells me he didn’t know that titbit of information, either. Plonking myself in the chair, I turn to Mrs. T and recognise the expression on her face clearly: disappointment. I stare down at the table feeling like a right twat. Not only did I upset Kenneth, but I guess I upset her, too, by cussing like a sailor in her home.
Shame washes over me. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, dear. You had a natural reaction to something that isn’t considered normal. I need to go and check on him.” She doesn’t leave, though. Instead she sighs, and continues to explain. “I know it’s not something you’d have ever considered if the idea wasn’t put to you, but you at least have the option now. I have to admit, I was sceptical like you are now when Kenneth came to me with the young man in the photos, worried out of their minds that they screwed up their chances of happiness with Tina because of the situation they’d proposed to her. But the way their faces lit up, and with how they explained it all to me, I could see some of the pros to such a relationship, even if I didn’t fully understand it at the time.”
Patting my shoulder, she stands. “I’ll explain it to you the same way the young man in the photos explained it to me. If one of them became ill or died, Tina would still have another partner to help her through, to be by her side. And that’s exactly what happened.” A sad expression crosses her face before she moves towards the doorway. But she stops before exiting. “Now, put yourself into the same situation. How would you feel if you remained with Arlia alone, and something bad happened? She’d be left behind. But, with Morgan and Shayne in the dynamic, they’d be able to pull her through the heartache of losing you and be able to look after her. She’d always be loved and safe.”
As she disappears, I turn my attention to Morgan. I don’t want to accuse him, but curiosity gets the better of me. “How long have you known about this?”
Morgan shakes his head before his gaze fixes directly on me. “Last week I knew some of it, but not the bigger picture. Kenneth didn’t go into too much detail, and I didn’t want to pry into his business. But I knew what was happening between the three of us. I needed to find a solution, and let’s face it, my mother and your dad were the last people I was going to for advice.” Sitting up slightly, he stares at me, his face showing his next words are as serious as Morgan ever gets. “Look, I know it’s crazy, and honestly, I wouldn’t even suggest it if I believed there was another way. But come on, Benji. I can’t give you guys up for a girl, and I don’t want to give up the chance of something with Arlia. If that means I have to share her with you and Shayne, then so be it. I’d rather it be with you two than with strangers. I trust you both with my life. Why not trust you with my – our – girlfriend?”
Sighing, I rest my head back and stare at the ceiling. “Does Shayne know about this plan, idea, or whatever you’ve been cooking up with his dad?” Feeling like I need to do something, but knowing I can’t escape the situation, I straighten and begin to gather the photos up and place them neatly back inside the box. Putting the lid on, I slide the box to the middle of the table.
Morgan reaches for the coffee pot and pours more into his cup while explaining, “Of course. If Arlia’s car hadn’t broken down yesterday, he’d be here. In fact, he should be here soon. I didn’t know the full story about his dad, though, and I’m not sure if Shayne knows, either. I don’t think we should tell him. But if we do decide to go ahead with it, then I guess his dad will resolve himself to the fact that Shayne should know. He’ll likely be more open about it with him, and us.”
I take another sip of my coffee and ponder over everything. I didn’t know something like this could even be an option. I’d never once considered sharing someone. Is it something I want? I’m not sure, but…
“So, what do you and Shayne want to do?” Nervous, I turn the cup slowly in my hand, not wanting to glance up because I’m worried what Morgan might think of my question. Which is really fuckin’ stupid. He’s my best friend, but I don’t like the idea of making myself vulnerable first without knowing exactly what the two of them want.
“Well, I’m one hundred percent in, if you two are,” a new voice calls from the doorway.
Morgan and I jump, and I spill some of the coffee on my hand. Luckily the liquid’s no longer hot. With a curse, I reach for a napkin on the tray and mop up the mess.
Shaking my head, I cut Shayne an evil glare, but don’t add any heat to my voice so he knows there’s no hard feelings. “Let a dude know when you enter the room next time, dick-wad!”
“How are you doing?” He walks around the table and takes the seat next to me.
Glancing up to my other best friend, I sarcastically grumble, “I’d be feeling a lot better if I wasn’t forced to partake in adult talk when I feel like a porcupine’s inside my head and currently trying to stick me from the inside out. But other than that, I’m great.”
I drum my fingers on the table in thought. Mrs. Turner, Kenneth, and Morgan all made good points. I just need to decide what I want to do. Closing my eyes, I contemplate what it’d be like without them, but instantly my eyes snap open, not liking where that thought led.
Swallowing thickly, I stare them both in the eye and hoarsely whisper, “Let’s do this.”
Chapter Eight
Secrets & Worries
I don’t know whether they heard me or if it’s a coincidence, but Kenneth and Mrs. T enter the room directly after I speak the words. From the smug smile on her face, though, I can only guess they were sneakily listening in from the other side of the door. Any other time, I’d likely be annoyed. But right now, we need their input.
“Now that you fellas have all agreed, you have some planning to do.” Mrs. T grabs the coffee pot and takes it to get a refill.
We all sit in awkward silence, not knowing what to say or even where to start. How the fuck do three guys plan, or even begin to plan, how to all woo the same girl?
Shaking my head, I stare pointedly at Shayne, hoping he’ll be the one with ideas. He’s normally good with problematic situations an
d finding a way to solve them off the top of his head. After all, that’s what his job roll is.
He shakes his head at me, and I groan. I can’t believe I’m even contemplating this. I mean, how will I stop myself from becoming jealous? Especially when I got jealous the other day just because they both smiled at her. Am I going to be able to control my reactions, or will me being an asshole ruin this before it even begins?
Kenneth clears his throat, and I glance up. “Stop worrying about it so hard, Son. You’ll knacker yourself out with all that fear.”
“I just… I don’t want to screw this, whatever this is, up. But I don’t know the answers on how to make it work. How do I make it work?” I scrub a hand over my face in frustration.
Shayne gives my shoulder a friendly nudge with his own. “There’s no I. We, Benji. How do we make it work? We’re a team, and with the three of us, we’ll figure it out. I mean, come on, how can Dad give us advice on how to begin wooing the same girl?” Shayne chuckles. “He’s been married to Mum for twenty-five years. His dating days are over.”
I turn my attention away quickly, hoping Shayne doesn’t understand the expression on my face. I don’t know if Kenneth even wants his son to know about his relationship many years ago. It’s better to come from his parents, not something for us to randomly blurt out. Kenneth speaks up, and I sigh, praying he decides not to make us keep this secret for him.
“Shayne… Son. Me and your mother were both in a relationship with another man before you were born. We don’t talk about it in front of you children because it’s difficult for your mother. We were all only nineteen.” Pain fills his eyes and he gulps. “He died in a car accident. He was my best friend, only, I didn’t have an intimate relationship with him, but we both had something, or someone, in common. Your mum.”
Kenneth glances away from Shayne. My best friend sits next to me, deathly silent. I’ve no clue how he’ll react to his father’s admission. I glance at Morgan and understand the same worry on his face. It’s a reflection of what’s showing on my own. Shayne pushes his chair back, and stands up. As he walks around the table, I worriedly watch Kenneth gulp and drop his head. Shock nearly knocks me off my seat when Shayne pulls his father up and envelopes him in a bear hug.
Wow! That’s not what I expected. Although, I don’t really know what I expected…
I peek towards Morgan and notice the smile on his face. Sighing, I relax back in my chair, thankful I didn’t need to step in and bust up a fight between father and son.
A chuckle comes from Shayne, his arm slung over his dad’s shoulders and he asks us, “You didn’t really believe I’d smack him, did you?”
Mrs. Turner strolls back into the room and places the new pot of coffee down on the table. Morgan instantly perks up when he spots the tray filled with a fresh plate of cookies.
The rest of the afternoon we spend tirelessly going over what to do, and what not to do. My brain feels overloaded with information and I’m glad we’re not expected to sit through some sort of test. I doubt I’ll be able to even remember half of what they’ve explained to us. In a way, I’m glad there’s three of us, I just hope they can somehow absorb the information better than I can, and they’ll help me out before I fuck anything up.
I got to meet some of Mrs. Turner’s family while Kenneth drilled into us the dos and don’ts. He’d taken Shayne to the side and went through the box with his son. Both Morgan and I didn’t want to interrupt them in their moment so we spent the time, or I did, getting to know the Turner’s more. Mrs. Turner reminisced over the dates her husband took her on when they were young and made some suggestions for us. I was surprised to learn she had eight children and ten grandchildren. I guess that explains the huge table and chairs we’d been sat at.
Later, we all pile into Shayne’s car, and he drives us home. Mrs. Turner and her husband were nice enough to feed us dinner, so none of us have to cook once we arrive home. Well… not me cook. Morgan or Shayne do that in our house. It’s one skill I never could grasp the hang of.
I watch as the streetlights whizz by. Despite the clear sky, I can barely make out the stars twinkling above because of the orange glow from all the city lights. Tonight is going to be another cold one. I’m glad I only have tomorrow to work and then it’s the weekend again. Which reminds me, we’ve got a paintball session booked for Saturday.
Shayne skilfully manages to park his car in the only gap left on the whole street. It’s not right outside the house, but it’s not miles away either. Living on a street is a pain sometimes with so many houses crammed close together. Every man and his dog owns a car these days.
We stalk up to the house and Morgan opens the door with his keys. Shayne and I take out our own keys from our pockets, then thrown them onto the side table beside Morgan’s, causing me to chuckle.
“Hey, guys. I had a thought. If we ring the paintball company tomorrow, do you reckon they’d allow us to add Arlia onto the list with us? I’ll cover any extra shit they add onto the bill,” I rush to explain.
Morgan and Shayne kick off their shoes, Shayne sticking his feet into his well-worn slippers, while Morgan forgoes his and clads down the hallway in his holey socks. I quickly kick my shoes off by stepping on each of the heels before swiftly following after them.
“Do you want to text and check if she’s free?” Shayne asks and plonks his ass down on the corner sofa.
I take my phone out my pocket to do just that, but stop when Morgan speaks up. “Phone the company up first and double check if you can alter the booking. We can then call her after and ask if she wants to, we can always say it was booked for another person and it’s already paid for. I don’t want her to think she has to pay us for it.”
Plopping down on the sofa next to Shayne, I rest my head on the back and quietly ask no one in particular, “Are you sure this is what you want?”
Two voices instantly answer at the same time. “Yes.”
I nod and close my eyes, but they snap back open when Shayne huffs. Turning my head, I demand, “What was the huff for?”
“Because you don’t sound so sure yourself. What’s wrong, Benji?” Morgan sits carefully next to Shayne. Both stare directly at me. There’s no way round it except to admit what I think about all this.
I’m such a bitch for needing to talk my feelings out. Guys don’t do that. We just get up and fix things, not sit in a group session and talk about shit. With a grunt, I succumb to the fact I ought to talk. If I try to leave, they’ll likely pin my ass down until I spill. “Fuck, okay, look. I like Arlia, I’m not disputing that, it’s just… You’re my best friends, my brothers. I don’t want to risk breaking our relationship over a girl. I’d rather go without her, as much as that’d be absolutely fuckin’ shit. I hate this, guys, I don’t want to choose between you, but what if I fuck it up by getting jealous, and what if I see you kissing her and… Dude. I don’t wanna know when or what happens when it comes to getting down and dirty with her,” I rush out and immediately slam my eyes shut. I can’t believe I admitted all that. I blurted out way more than what I planned to say. Fuck! They’re going to assume I’m some sort of fuckin’ pansy ass that can’t control himself.
Standing, I go to leave the room, but Morgan’s voice stops me. “I had the same concerns you do now. So, long as we work together, don’t discuss anything that happens between each of us with her, and go at a pace we’re all happy with, then this can work. We need to communicate and promise to listen if one of us is struggling with something. Just like we always have. I promise, Benji, this won’t break us if we don’t let it.”
His words wash over me, and my shoulders droop forward, grateful for what he says. I didn’t realise how tense my body became. Taking a calming breath, I glance over my shoulder. “I hope you’re right. I’m gonna hit the hay. Work is gonna kick my ass tomorrow.”
I make it as far as the hallway before Morgan shouts, “I’m always right, fucker! Haven’t you learnt that yet?”
Shaking my head,
I walk up the stairs with a small smile on my face. He’s not wrong there. Morgan’s wrong about very little, and I know I can trust his judgment. If he’s determined that we can make it through to the other side of this, still whole and with a new dynamic, then who am I to deny myself of what I really want?
Chapter Nine
Bribes & Cold Beers
Work the next day couldn’t end quick enough. I rush through the front door, throw my keys on the side table, and don’t hang around long enough to see if they hit their mark as I whizz into the living room. Shayne and Morgan both beat me home, and I catch sight of them lounging on the sofa with a film on.
Rushing out between pants, I ask, “Well? Did you ring the company? Are they letting us add Arlia to the list for tomorrow?”
Shayne looks me over and wrinkles his nose when he notices I’m a sweaty mess. “Did you run here from work or something? Sit your ass down! I’ll grab you a drink while Morgan fills you in.”
Plonking my ass on the seat Shayne vacated, I sigh before reaching down and untucking my jeans from my boots before stepping on the heels to kick them off. Laces are overrated.
Morgan groans. “You’re supposed to take them off by the front door, not bring them through the house covered in shit and muck from work. I bet there’s a trail leading from the front door into here now.”
I punch his arm. “Never mind the fuckin’ mess. Focus. Did you ring the paintball company?”
“Yeah, they’ve allowed us to add another person, but it’ll cost us an extra thirty,” Morgan explains before his attention returns to the film.
Pulling my wallet out, I grab the thirty out and throw it to him. It lands on his stomach and he frowns down at it. Morgan checks what I gave him, ten and a twenty. He pulls the tenner out and gives me the twenty back.
