by K. A. Linde
She slowly nodded again. “Right.”
“Come on. I know you love that place two blocks over. A flat white?”
She could do nothing but nod as she walked with him to have a long, overdue conversation.
23
Cake
Savannah felt like a wrung-out dish towel.
Seeing Easton had been a lot harder than she had thought it would be. Talking to him, seeing that smile, feeling the three years they’d had together slide back over her so easily. The whole thing had made her heart ache.
And she knew that feeling wasn’t over. Because now, she had to see Lucas. She wasn’t dumb enough to think he would be pleased by the latest news. She just hoped it was like taking a Band-Aid off—quick and painless.
She knocked twice at his door and heard him yell, “Door’s open!”
She turned the knob and walked inside. Lucas was just peeling his suit jacket off and loosening the black-and-gold-striped tie. To Savannah, Lucas in a suit was the equivalent of her standing around in lingerie. Sexy as hell.
His eyes locked on to her as she entered the room, and his smile lit up. For just that second, she imagined not telling him about the conversation she’d had with Easton. How much easier it would be to say nothing and pretend he hadn’t begged her to come back.
But that wasn’t the bargain. That wasn’t the deal she’d made with herself for this relationship. She wanted a clean slate. Lucas had wanted it to be different. Which meant she had to tell him. No matter how it would hurt him to hear it.
“Hey,” she said with a half-smile. She closed the door behind her and walked over to him, depositing her keys in a basket of knickknacks nearby.
He reached out for her, wrapping an arm around her waist and dropping his lips down to meet hers. “Hey yourself.”
“How was your interview?” she asked, pulling back just a step.
“Everything went great. Charmed the shit out of them,” he said, lighting up even more. He tossed his tie on top of the suit jacket he’d slung on the back of the kitchen chair.
“That’s great! I knew they’d love you.”
“Yeah, well, new team, new experience. You never know,” he said with that same damn smile. “They’re having me out for some TV spots this weekend. Going to finally get to put the uniform on.”
“I can’t wait to see you in uniform,” she told him honestly.
“Well, maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll let you come out and watch.” He loosened the top two buttons of his shirt.
She laughed softly. How the hell was she going to tell him now? She wanted to rip his clothes off and ride him right here on the kitchen counter. Forget about the last hour. But it wouldn’t solve anything, and he’d be more hurt later.
Her eyes flickered away from him as she steeled herself for what she knew she had to do.
But Lucas knew her too well. He must have seen something like anguish in her expression. Because he paused his relentless flirting and tilted her chin up to meet his gaze. “What’s going on with you? Work suck today? Your boss wasn’t pissed that you were late, was he?”
“No. Well, yes, he was,” she amended with a wince. “But can we talk for a minute?”
His smile faltered. “That’s never a good opener.”
“It’s not…bad.”
“But it’s not good?”
She frowned. And shook her head once. It wasn’t good. Not for them. Lucas was not going to take this well, and she could hardly blame him.
He crossed his arms, taking a defensive position. As if he was preparing himself for the worst. And she hated that she brought that out in him. That they couldn’t just trust each other because they hadn’t for so long. It had never been clearer in his stance.
“Well?”
Savannah swallowed. “I saw Easton today.”
Lucas went stock-still. His jaw locked and eyes hardened. He was a statue of bristling outrage. Trying so desperately to hold it in that he could barely contain his wrath in his next word. “Why?”
“He…he came to see me after work. He wanted to talk.”
“And did you?”
She nodded slowly. “We’d been together for three years, Lucas. Our breakup was horrible. I was a total wreck. He was a wreck. He’s still living in our Georgetown place. The whole thing has been a nightmare.”
“It hasn’t felt like a nightmare the last two weeks.”
“No, this isn’t about us.”
“Isn’t it?”
She sighed. “It isn’t. When Easton and I broke up, he said he wanted me to find myself because I was lying to everyone, especially myself.”
Lucas snorted. “Of course he did.”
“He wasn’t wrong,” she told him. “I was lying to everyone. I didn’t tell him about you or the audition. I couldn’t share every part of myself with him. And I had such strong feelings for you, but I couldn’t admit that to you, so all we did was argue. And I lied to myself about all of it, that I was doing it for the right reasons. But I wasn’t. I was doing it because it was easier for me. And that’s why I’m telling you that I saw Easton. Because I don’t want to lie to you.”
“You haven’t lied to me, Savannah. But I don’t understand why the hell you’d even talk to him. Like, what could you possibly have to say to each other?”
“When we broke up, it didn’t end like, This is over forever. It was more…a break to see if we could have some time away from our problems.”
“I’m sure he said such nice things about you being with me.”
She winced again. “Well, when we broke up, he said if I landed in your arms, then I would have proven his point. That I’d choose convenience over working on myself.”
“Jesus fucking Christ, Savannah. That is not what’s happening here. Can’t you see he’s manipulating you?”
“Yes,” she told him, tipping her chin up. “He was. But we ended in a weird place, and I felt like I owed him at least a conversation.”
Lucas’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t owe him a goddamn thing, Savannah.”
“It was important to me,” she admitted. She hadn’t realized how important it was until she’d seen him walking toward her after work. The knot in her chest had loosened, and she’d realized that she needed that talk as much as Easton had. “I wanted to clear the air.”
He shook his head. One second away from an outburst. Raw energy coiled around him, radiating in waves. As if, at any moment, he might combust. “This is fucking ridiculous mind games,” he growled. “You don’t owe him anything. You don’t have to clear the air. You don’t have to fucking see him. All that does is fuck everything up!”
Savannah took a step back at his anger. She’d known he’d be angry. Even expected it. They’d had epic arguments in the past. But she really didn’t want this to go there. She just wanted him to understand.
“Lucas, please,” she murmured. “You were the one who said we didn’t have good communication. I could have hidden this. I didn’t have to tell you what had happened. Or that he had come to see me. I could have lied. But instead, I’m standing here, telling you the truth.”
A shudder ran through him as he tried to rein in his mounting anger. “Fine. What did you and Easton so desperately have to talk about?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he just held his hand up.
“Wait, let me guess,” he drawled. “He wants to get back together.”
“He…does,” she said warily.
Lucas laughed, but it wasn’t filled with humor. It sounded hollow, as if he’d known this moment was coming and hated that he’d been right. “Oh, I bet he said that he loved you and he’d messed it up. That he wants to make it up to you. That you’re the only one for him. Despite the fact that he didn’t give a shit about that until he saw the picture of the two of us in the paper. How fucking convenient.”
She bit her lip. Lucas was right on point. Easton had said those things. Except for the picture. She’d had the same thought, and she couldn’t bl
ame him for believing that too. But it wasn’t true.
“Yes…he said all of those things. But he hadn’t seen the article. It wasn’t like that.”
Lucas stared back at her like she was the most gullible idiot on the planet. He took two steps forward and put his hands on her shoulders. “Please, please, tell me you don’t believe that.”
“He was telling the truth,” she told him.
He slowly shook his head back and forth. “Savannah, the timing is too goddamn convenient. He saw that you were with me after he told you not to be with me and fucking blew a gasket. You have to see that he would do anything to keep us apart. He’d rather get back together with you, the woman he despises for cheating on him, than let us be happy.”
“He doesn’t despise me.” How could he even say that?
“A part of him does. And that part of him that hates you for what you did to him also hates himself. The two of you could never repair that. Not in a million years. But still, he’d rather endure that with you every day—that untreatable pain—than see you with me, his enemy.”
Savannah brushed his hands off of her shoulders. “That is not what’s happening here. He was not there because of us. And if you had seen his face, then you’d know that he hadn’t seen the article.”
Lucas threw his hands up in the air and cursed colorfully. “I must be out of my fucking mind. Why do I fucking do this to myself? Easton swoops in and says the most convenient fucking thing in the world, and you actually believe his stupidity.” He whirled back to face her. “Don’t you understand that he would say anything—anything—to get back together with you?”
“Just like you did?” she snapped back, her own anger rising at his accusations.
“Yes!”
She jolted at his outrage. The real anger and…fear on his face.
“Yes, I would. And I fucking have, Savannah. To get you, I’d do anything. That’s how I know exactly what the fuck Easton is doing.”
Savannah bristled at his words. The way he talked about it made it seem like both guys were just conniving jackasses set out to manipulate her. And she was tired of being manipulated. She’d thought they were past that. That Lucas saw what they had as real and not something he had to do or say just to keep her.
“So then, how are you any better than Easton?”
Lucas shook his head. “Fuck that, Savi. If you can’t see it, then how the fuck can I explain it to you?”
“You just said that you’d do or say anything to get me. That means lying and manipulating me! That means doing the things you just accused Easton of. All of this is so fucking frustrating. Why can’t it be easy?”
“Because love isn’t easy!” he roared. “It’s hard fucking work.”
“What happens when the work is too hard?” she demanded. “What happens when you’re away for a game and there are thousands of girls throwing themselves at you? And I’m home, working on my journalism career? What happens then?”
Lucas blinked as if he had no idea what she was talking about. “What? Where is this coming from?”
“The girls I met at the banquet said that rookie girlfriends don’t make it.”
“So?”
“They never make it, Lucas! Even the ones who have been together for years,” she shouted. “You guys always end up fucking someone else on the road! That this business isn’t meant for nice girls. Girls like me.”
“I’m not going to do that,” he said automatically.
She snorted. God, how she wanted to believe him. “With our history? All we have ever done is cheat on other people to be together. How the fuck do we know that it’s not going to happen in reverse now that we’re a couple?”
“So, you don’t even want to try?” His eyes were wide with alarm and outrage.
“I didn’t say that,” she groaned.
“Then, what are you saying?” he demanded.
“Nothing! I just want us to talk about this.” She buried her face in her hands. This had gotten completely out of control. Just like all their past arguments.
“Saying that means that you think there’s something for us to talk about.”
He paced away from her and then back. She flipped her hair back to watch him with wary eyes.
“Do you think I’m going to go out on the road and fuck some groupies?”
“Do you think that I’m going to let Easton manipulate me?”
Lucas stared at her. They were in a standoff. Because the truth was that both of them didn’t believe that fact, but they didn’t not believe it either. It was a fear. A deeply ingrained fear. That neither of them could shake.
“I think he’s manipulating you right now.” Something hardened in Lucas’s face. “That asshole knows exactly what he’s doing. And I think it’s time that he and I finally had it out.”
“What does that mean?”
Lucas grabbed his car keys. “It means, he put this shit in your head. He came back, saying he loves you and wants to be with you. Once again, I’m the bad guy. Even though he’s trying to fuck up what we have. So now, I think it’s time that we talked.”
He pushed past her toward the door.
“Lucas, wait, please!” She reached for him, but he just wrenched away. “Just stay and talk to me. If you go see Easton, you’re just going to end up fighting. This isn’t a good idea.”
“It’s the only idea,” he said as he stormed out the door.
“Lucas, stop!” she called after him, but he was already halfway to his parked Range Rover.
Savannah put her hands into her hair and wanted to scream. How the hell had all of this gone so wrong? She’d just wanted to have an honest conversation. Not scream at each other about all their insecurities. And he hadn’t even fucking given her a chance to explain what had even really happened with Easton.
Fear shot through her. Because Lucas and Easton in the same place spelled disaster. One of them would kill the other.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
She couldn’t let this happen.
Savannah dashed back for her keys and then hurried out into the night after him.
24
Lucas
Twenty-two years.
That was how long he’d known Savannah Maxwell.
And he’d been in love with her for nearly every single one of them.
They’d had their ups and downs. And for the last four years, it felt like, ninety-five percent of the time, it was hard-hitting lows. But now that he finally had her, there was no fucking way he was going to let her get away. Easton could go fuck himself for all he cared. He couldn’t have her back. He had been stupid enough to let her go, and now, it was too late.
He’d never liked Easton. Not that he’d expected to like any guy that Savannah dated. But this was personal. He wasn’t going to stand by and let Easton try to get in the way.
Savannah was end game. She always had been. It had just taken them too damn long to figure it out.
And he was going to make sure Easton knew that loud and clear.
No more surprise fucking visits at work.
No more deep, heartfelt conversations about his feelings.
No more owing him jack fucking shit.
He didn’t care how he drilled that into Easton’s head, but he’d get the fucking picture one way or another.
Lucas circled the apartment a half-dozen times before he found a parking spot in Georgetown. The city was so fucking packed at this hour. Everyone was already home from work or out for dinner. The lack of parking only made him more irritated. Eventually, he found a spot for his Range Rover a few blocks away. He parallel-parked and then jogged the scant blocks to the apartment building.
He was glad that he still had the address saved from when Savannah had first moved in. Though he’d never been here, he could see why she had wanted to live in this area despite the horrible parking situation. Georgetown was nice and trendy, filled with brownstones and brick-lined walkways. There were shops on every corner with pedestrians milling about an
d cyclists hurrying past the crowded streets. The area felt just like something Savannah would want.
And if she hadn’t moved in with Easton over here, Lucas might have even considered the move for her. Even if it was too far from his work to justify it.
He shook his head in frustration. Another thing that Easton had ruined. He’d hated the thought of Savannah and Easton moving in together. Three years together at UNC, and they’d never moved in. He’d taken it as a sign that she wasn’t that serious. But then the Georgetown apartment and straight to a fucking ring. Yeah, he needed to cut this shit to the quick.
Lucas walked into the landing and then up the three flights of stairs and down the hall. He stopped in front of the apartment and banged on the door without preamble. He heard Easton shuffling around inside.
“Just a minute,” he called from the other side.
A lock slid out of place. The handle turned. And there he was.
Easton looked like shit.
He looked like even worse shit when he realized Lucas was standing there.
Good.
Easton’s eyes narrowed. “What do you want?”
“I think it’s about time we talked,” Lucas said, pushing the door open wider and entering the apartment, uninvited.
It was fucking tiny. He could practically take in the whole place in a glance. It had Savannah written all over it. She had clearly decorated every inch of the apartment. It only pissed him off more that all of her stuff was still here. They would need to remedy that.
“I have nothing to say to you,” Easton spat, continuing to hold the door open pointedly. “Now, get the fuck out of my apartment.”
“We have unfinished business.” Lucas returned his attention to Easton, who looked about ready to launch himself at Lucas for daring to show up today.
“I’ll repeat myself. Get the fuck out of my apartment.”
Lucas glared. “No.”
“What the fuck do you want? You already stole my girlfriend, the love of my life, and the woman I planned to marry. Is that not enough for you?”
