by Penny Parkes
As Holly accompanied Hannah out through the waiting room and waved her off, she was vaguely aware of mutterings echoing in their path. She leaned across the counter in reception and pinched one of Lucy’s omnipresent mini Mars Bars.
‘You’re brave,’ said Grace, popping her head up from one of the filing cabinets like a meerkat.
Holly flushed like a guilty pick-pocket. ‘No, it’s okay, Lucy said I could help myself any time.’
Grace laughed. ‘No, you muppet, I meant walking the gauntlet through the waiting room. You wouldn’t believe some of the conversations I’ve been hearing in there this afternoon.’ She dropped her voice. ‘Either way, it seems as though you’ve been rumbled.’
Holly looked at her quizzically as Grace stopped abruptly.
Holly became aware of a small, but disgruntled contingent of patients from the waiting room standing behind her. She smiled and made as though to walk back to her room, but Pru Hartley stepped sideways and stopped her. ‘We want to switch doctors,’ she said. ‘We’re not blind, Dr Graham. We can see how much extra time and attention you’re spending on your patients while the rest of us are being hustled through with Madam in there like a conveyor belt.’
‘Madam?’ Holly queried, looking to Grace for understanding.
‘Dr Campbell,’ said Richard le Grange with feeling. ‘She’s seen six patients in the time you’ve spent with two. And you don’t see her escorting her patients in and out like you do.’
‘So we’d like to switch,’ said Pru again, this time with an edge of firmness bordering on intimidation.
Holly bit her lip. It was too soon to talk about her trial. They had no data, they hadn’t done the sums and the last thing she’d wanted to create was a two-tier system, whereby the majority felt short-changed. It was probably naïve of her not to see this coming, but in the back of her mind she’d begun to trust in Elsie’s long-held truism that one wouldn’t worry so much about what other people thought of you, once you realised how very rarely they actually did.
She obviously hadn’t bargained on the residents of Larkford and their heightened powers of observation.
‘Sometimes,’ she said, by way of prevarication, ‘certain patients need a little longer. One day that patient might be you, so do be considerate. A throat infection or a repeat prescription really doesn’t take that long.’ She didn’t feel the need to elaborate.
On the other hand, she thought, as she walked back towards her consulting room, she had clearly been kidding herself about how long she could keep running a trial under their very noses. She couldn’t deny that, in her head, she’d begun thinking of The Practice as a centre for health, rather than illness, still trying to work the elusive, holistic approach into NHS General Practice. It was clearly going to be easier said than done.
Taffy walked out into the corridor in front of her and she instinctively stepped straight into his arms for reassurance, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his chest.
His gentle laughter rumbled through her. ‘So, I gather you’ve been sussed already. Old man Harris told me I needed to get patient care tips from my missus.’
‘Oh God,’ murmured Holly, not letting go. ‘Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise. It’s become apparent already today how many of our patients had been feeling aggrieved by how little time we have to offer them. If anything, I reckon this means you’re on the right track.’
‘If we can make the sums add up,’ Holly said, bolstered as always by Taffy’s take on things.
‘And we can hardly expect the patients themselves to decide whether they are worthy of a longer slot, now, can we? Some of them would talk for hours about their bunged-up nose or athlete’s foot.’
‘But then, for every one of those there’s a patient like Hannah Porter. I could have spent an hour with her and it still wouldn’t have been enough.’
‘You sound surprised,’ said Taffy, bemused. ‘If you need an example of how actually communicating helps, you don’t have to look very far.’
Holly smiled. ‘We’re doing okay now, you and me, aren’t we?’
‘Better than okay,’ Taffy agreed. ‘And to think all we needed was to have a proper conversation.’
‘And a few lie-ins,’ she reminded him with a loving smile, watching him swallow hard at the memory.
‘Well, yes, I can’t pretend that didn’t help a little bit too.’ He gave her a squeeze and let go. ‘Now go and tend to your patients – just because you’ve got all the time in the world, doesn’t mean that this poor desk jockey has time to be canoodling in corridors.’ He paused, reluctantly releasing her hand. ‘Maybe we could have an early night?’
Before Holly could reply, raised voices from reception put them both on high alert.
‘Now, listen,’ came Pru Hartley’s angry voice echoing along the corridor, ‘I’ve been waiting half an hour now about my stomach, Grace Allen, and all I need is the result of my autopsy.’
Everyone within earshot collapsed into laughter and Pru looked around in confusion. ‘What?’ she said. ‘What did I say?’
‘Biopsy, Pru,’ said Grace gently, tears of mirth streaming unprofessionally down her face. ‘You meant biopsy.’
Chapter 45
Dan slopped beer over his wrist as he attempted to flip down his seat in the grandstand and manoeuvre his pizza-pasty into his mouth at the same time. There really was nothing like a decent fixture at the Rugby Club with his best mate to take his mind off things and the legendary animosity between the Bath and Gloucester teams was sure to add a little off-pitch drama to the match.
‘Right then, while this lot play silly buggers, are you going to fill me in or keep me guessing?’ Taffy said, blowing on his hands for a little warmth against the chill breeze that whispered through the skyline of Bath – by half-time, they both knew all too well, they’d be freezing in their seats. Nevertheless it had been kind of Mike to think of them, and who in their right mind would say no to such cracking seats?
Dan chewed slowly, buying himself time to think. Even on the drive over he’d kept Taffy talking about nonsense just to avoid this moment.
‘In all seriousness, for a minute,’ Taffy said quietly, ‘you need to give me something. You get married on the spur of the moment, then you all but drop off the radar with your new missus – even Lulu has been asking where you’ve been.’
‘I’ve seen you at work,’ Dan protested.
‘Yeah – a fleeting hi-bye in the corridor hardly counts,’ Taffy insisted. ‘Now, either you fill me in, or I’m letting Holly loose to quiz Gracie. And she takes no prisoners at the moment, my wife. Whatever’s going on, don’t be an arse – let your friends into the loop. You never know, we might almost be useful.’
‘There’s a first for everything, I suppose.’ Dan shrugged.
‘Wanker,’ said Taffy affectionately, punching him on the arm.
Dan grinned properly for the first time since they’d left Larkford. ‘All right. But we are NOT spending the whole evening talking about this. Okay? I’ll give you the edited highlights – frankly, just to shut you up – but then we are watching Gloucester get thrashed with a pint in our hands, okay?’
‘Seems fair,’ Taffy said reasonably.
Dan turned to face him, frowning as he sought the right words. ‘Grace and I . . .’ He stopped and frowned and started again. ‘There’s an awful lot to sort out about Lulu. Getting married was absolutely the right thing to do and Grace and I are both so happy we did.’
‘Well, that’s something,’ Taffy said. ‘You did have me worried for a bit there. You know, marry in haste and all that.’
‘Yup,’ said Dan with feeling. ‘But actually, the more we talk it through, the more it feels like that was probably the only thing Keira asked of us that sat comfortably.’ He sighed. ‘It’s perfectly natural for her to lay down the law about the kind of life she wants for her daughter and we’re trying so hard to respect that, but nothing – not one thing – about this process
is easy or joyful. The poor woman is dying, Taffs, and every time we go and see her, there’s a little bit less spirit, and a little bit more fear. How can we possibly negotiate with that? In her eyes, either we want Lulu enough to make the commitments, or we don’t. It’s black and white.’
‘And the reality?’ Taffy asked. ‘Between you and me?’
Dan nodded. ‘Well, realistically, we can’t promise to adopt another child until we’ve found our balance as parents, can we? I mean, we could promise to consider it – but that’s not enough. And, if I’m being blunt, we don’t want Elsie’s house – no matter how incredibly generous she’s being on the price. When we lost out on the sealed bids, Grace and I were both kind of relieved. It crystallised our thinking because we both realised we wanted something a little different, a little quirky – we’d had our hearts set on a doer-upper on the edge of town, with some land maybe and a few chickens . . . But is that really a good enough reason not to tick the box for Keira and keep any hope of having Lulu?’
‘And I suppose moving in there as a temporary measure wouldn’t cut it?’ Taffy suggested.
‘Too dishonest. I couldn’t do it. This is her child we’re asking for. I can’t quite believe I’m even hesitating,’ Dan said, taking a bite of his pizza-pasty and chewing slowly, its taste no longer pleasing, merely sustenance.
‘Actually, if it were me?’ Taffy said after a moment’s contemplation of the scrum taking place on the pitch below them. ‘If you were looking to adopt my children as I died – well, I’d like to see you were committed obviously, but I’d be more impressed by someone with commitment and integrity – maybe someone who wasn’t prepared to blindly jump through hoops, but could show me their game plan. Their ideals? Maybe they wouldn’t be so very far apart in spirit, rather than in technicalities?’
Dan winced, as the Bath fly-half was knocked to the ground in a brutal tackle.
‘Do you think so? Really? Because I have to tell you, mate, this is breaking my heart.’ Dan swallowed hard. ‘And what can I possibly say to Lulu when I see her – she knows nothing about any of this. But I still feel like I’m misleading her and she doesn’t deserve that.’
Taffy drained his pint and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, doing the matey thing by focusing on the game for a moment, while Dan recovered his equilibrium.
They both winced as another player hit the deck at speed.
‘For what it’s worth, I think staying away is worse. That little girl idolises you, Dan. You are in her life, one way or another. And I know, the ideal scenario has you being her new dad, but maybe Uncle Dan is better than nothing for now. She literally goes to the window to look for you every time a Land Rover drives by, or any other crappy, noisy car for that matter. She’s all in, mate. She loves you. Don’t leave her hanging.’
‘But I thought—’ Dan said, distressed by what he was hearing. So much for doing the right thing and not misleading her.
‘Ah well, that’s where you went wrong,’ said Taffy easily.
Dan couldn’t even muster the gall to swear at his long-suffering friend. Mainly because Taffy made a valid point. Several, actually. Dan sighed, knowing now that he was overthinking this. ‘How do I show Keira how much I care, how much we care about her daughter? How do we prove that we are the right family for Lulu, even if we can’t promise the things she’s asked for?’
‘Oh, that’s easy,’ said Taffy, shaking his head in frustration. ‘She just needs to see you together. Honestly, mate, it’s kind of heart-rending just watching you and Lulu interact – the absolute trust she has in you and Grace is like movie love. If that doesn’t persuade her, nothing will.’
Dan punched Taffy’s arm and nodded repeatedly, trying to catch hold of himself and not sob like a girl in front of rows of die-hard rugby fans.
‘So we roll the dice,’ he managed in the end.
‘No time like the present,’ said Taffy, annoying everyone in the rows behind him by standing up and starting to leave.
Dan gaped after him, his heart racing. There was friendship and there was leave-in-the-middle-of-the-match brotherhood. Taffy Jones truly was his Best Man in every sense of the word.
*
Driving back to Larkford, the atmosphere couldn’t have been more different to the tense, stilted conversation on the way there. Grace had been phoned and, even now, was debating with Holly about what to wear and what games to bring to keep Lulu entertained as they made a group foray to visit Keira, their hearts on their sleeves for her to see.
‘You know, we both have amazing wives,’ said Dan, as he flicked the hands-free off.
‘We do. Which, considering we’re both utter wankers with the maturity of a pedigree panda, is not too shabby,’ Taffy agreed.
‘Notoriously immature, are they – pandas?’ Dan clarified.
‘Oh yes. I mean, not as bad as your lemurs – I mean, they’re a regular fiesta of immature behaviour right through adulthood,’ Taffy said seriously.
Dan just shook his head. His thoughts were a little too distracted to fully engage in their usual mindless, but nevertheless relaxing, banter.
‘So, if your wife gets her way, it’ll be upheaval in every area of my life,’ he said, indicating to overtake a procession of brightly coloured cyclists, red lights blinking from their helmets and with their bums in the air, approaching the hilly ascent over to the Larkford valley.
‘ ’Fraid so,’ Taffy said, leaning across to honk the horn for no particular reason other than to make all the cyclists wobble. ‘She’s on quite the mission.’ He paused. ‘I think that might be our fault, though, actually. She’s been feeling really sidelined being on maternity leave, so she’s come back with a big stick and a basket of eggs determined to make waves.’
‘And in English?’ Dan queried, earning himself a grin from his mate.
‘She reckons a little perspective has given her clarity. That she wants us to look at The Practice as a whole – not just as part of the community like before, but in what it brings to the staff’s lives and by extension how we can improve that. Not just for the doctors, but for the patients too, obviously.’
‘And I think she’s on to something, I really do. And if anyone can make it work, it’s Holly,’ Dan said. ‘I mean, everything that Bath job was offering – in terms of what it gave the patients and the doctors – that shouldn’t be limited to private practice, should it? It should be what we’re all aspiring to. Expansion really is the only way forward, although God knows how we’ll fund it.’
‘Holls reckons that if every member of the team had an area of responsibility that was theirs alone,’ Taffy continued, ‘that tied in with something they felt personally invested in, it would dramatically increase job satisfaction, not to mention efficiency, across the board.’
‘I can see that. I mean, you never mind going the extra mile for something you feel really strongly about, do you? I mean, you’ve only got to look at Alice – do you think it still feels like overtime if she’s learning about Banana’s training?’
‘I have an awful lot of time for young Alice, actually,’ said Taffy. ‘She’s the kind of doctor I’d choose every time.’
‘And you reckon she’s still heading up to the Orkneys though, do you?’
Taffy shook his head. ‘Not so much anymore. I think she may have reached the point where filial duty doesn’t quite eclipse professional fulfilment anymore. Maybe we just need to give her a reason to stay?’ Taffy frowned. ‘Now you mention it, though, Holly said she wanted to talk to us both about Alice when we had time.’
‘Well, if she’s planning on leaving we’ll stage an intervention,’ proclaimed Dan. ‘She’s just too crucial to all our plans.’
‘And actually just a really good egg. By my personal rulings, therefore, you never drop a good egg . . .’
‘You never said what your dream project would be?’ Dan said, intrigued to realise it was a question he couldn’t automatically find the answer to.
‘Easy,’ said
Taffy, surprising him. ‘I’d love to have a sports medicine clinic – oh, I don’t know, twice a week? Just sports injuries, proper therapies on site. Maybe even a dedicated physio to support the extra patients? Start small and build – now we’ve got all the rugby lads on our books, I don’t think I’d be short of takers, even with their swanky Physio Suite on site at the club.’
‘Do you know,’ Dan said, not even a little bit surprised, ‘I’d forgotten that about you – that was always your focus, wasn’t it? When did that just slip quietly into the background?’
‘Probably around the time I fell in love with Holly, and gained two sets of twins in under two years?’ Taffy suggested, glancing out of the window at the woodland lining the winding road. ‘It’s not exactly straightforward, this parenting lark. You do know that, right? I mean, there’s a reason that Holly and I both look permanently exhausted and we haven’t been on a date in months. There’s pictures of the kids in my wallet where my money used to be and I honestly couldn’t be happier. But it’s not one for the faint of heart, mate.’
‘But your kids are great,’ Dan countered, wondering whether in fact he had naïvely and selectively tailored his view of parenthood to suit an ideal in his mind, rather than the reality of the situation. Holly and Taffy always made it look so fun – even the impromptu suppers among macaroni-paintings and the yawning jokes about Holly’s caffeine addiction. They made it look, if not effortless, then certainly life-affirming and do-able.
‘They are great,’ Taffy agreed. ‘But they’re still kids – noisy, demanding, unpredictable, expensive . . . I have to tell you, it’s a lot harder than I imagined it would be. Don’t tell Holly, but these last few half-days have nearly finished me off. I’ve a whole new respect for what she’s been dealing with. Are you and Grace quite sure you’ve thought this through?’
Dan smiled at the warmth of affection that filled his chest every time he so much as imagined the look on Lulu’s face as she rushed to greet him and Grace at every visit. Right now, Taffy could have listed an encyclopaedia’s worth of reasons not to do it, but they could never ever counter one simple fact: they loved her. As if she were their flesh and blood, and possibly even more so, watching her bravery at every hurdle life seemed determined to put in her path. Lulu was a heroine of the highest order in Dan’s mind and he would move heaven and earth to make the rest of her childhood as joyful as it truly deserved to be.
