by Wendy Smith
For the love of Chloe
Wendy Smith
Photography by Golden Czermak / Furiousfotog
Cover model Corey Squires
Cover Design by Moss Book Covers
Edited by Creating Ink
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, including electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Ariadne Wayne is in no way affiliated with any brands, songs, musicians or artists mentioned in this book.
This book is written in New Zealand English, and as such contains phrasing and kiwi colloquialisms.
© Wendy Smith 2020
Created with Vellum
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Also by Wendy Smith
About the Author
One
Chloe
Every muscle in my body aches.
And I really resent the fact that I’m the only one in my family who can drive.
“Mum, how much longer?”
It’s Braden’s turn riding shotgun, and I’m so over being asked that question that it takes everything in me not to stop the car and shove him out the door.
I love my son, but right now he and his brother are driving me insane.
“We’re nearly there.”
“You said that half an hour ago,” Xander says from the back seat.
“I meant it then, and I mean it now. Don’t make me go the long way.”
“There’s a long way?” He groans, slumping as much as the seatbelt will allow.
“I can make one.”
Xander sighs.
“Why don’t we drive past the new house on the way to Grandma’s place?”
“Yes.” Braden grins.
There’s no answer from Xander, but he’s probably ignoring me after our last exchange. Braden’s the sweet, optimistic one. Xander’s the moody, serious child. For identical twins, they’re very different.
“It’s just a small detour. Xander? What do you think?”
“Whatever.”
I roll my eyes and take the next turn, heading toward the house. My heart pounds as we grow closer. This house means a lot to me, and I’m sure my boys will love it too. But it’s hard making a fresh start, even if I am back in my home town.
It takes a few more minutes, but I slow as I approach and pull up outside our new home.
“Is this it?” Xander asks.
I bite my inner cheek. “No. I just thought I’d stop at some random house to prank you even though I’m exhausted and want to collapse into bed.”
He shoots me the side-eye. “So … this is it.”
“Xander Cooper, you’ve seen the photos. You’re smarter than this.”
“I’m not sure about that.” Braden ruffles his twin brother’s hair, and Xander slaps his arm with a laugh.
“Let’s go to your grandmother’s. She’ll be excited to see you two.”
“Can’t we stay here?” Xander asks.
I sigh. “We could, but there are beds at her place, and I can get some sleep without having to find the linen and make our beds. Plus, she’ll have food.”
“I’m hungry,” Braden says.
“Of course you are.” I smile. “We’ll come back in the morning and start unpacking.”
“This is the house Dad wanted, right?” Xander asks.
A lump forms in my throat. “Uh-huh.”
“Why this house?”
“Catch up, Chloe.”
Scott cycles faster than I do. School starts in half an hour, and as usual, I’m lagging behind.
He stops by the side of the road to wait for me.
“Slow down.” I moan as I pull up beside him.
He grins. “Do you know why I stopped here?”
“No. Why?” He’s up to something. There’s that cheeky grin on his face that I adore.
“One day, I’m going to buy this house.” He points and I look at the white, two storey, Victorian-style house.
“What are you talking about?”
“One day we’ll come back here and raise our family, Chlo. And this house is so us. There’s a swimming pool and everything.”
I look back at the house. It’s got a basic front garden, and I can’t see anything behind it.
“How do you know?”
“My mum was the agent. She just sold it.”
I laugh. “So what makes you think it’ll ever go up for sale again?”
He shrugs. “Because it’s our dream home. And I plan on making all your dreams come true.”
Leaning over as far as my bike will allow, I plant a kiss on his lips. He grabs my arm to steady us, and I laugh despite his lips being on mine.
“Get a room, you guys.” Hunter Emerson flies past us on his bike.
“Let’s see if we can beat him to school,” Scott says.
I laugh as he takes off, shaking my head while I move at my own speed.
“Mum? Why this house?” Braden asks.
“Your dad thought it was perfect for raising a family. And I need all the space I can get with two sixteen-year-olds as big as you two are.”
Xan laughs. “I can’t wait to see inside.”
For a moment, I’m tempted to take them in, but my aching back reminds me that I have an appointment with an already made bed at Mum’s.
“We’ll be back in the morning. Then you can move into your rooms and make them your own.”
“Can we stop for takeaways on the way to Gran’s place?”
I shake my head. “She’s cooking dinner for us. Let’s get going because I really need to stretch my legs.”
“Thanks for bringing us past here, Mum,” Braden says.
“You’re welcome. Tomorrow we’ll make it all our own.”
“I wish Dad was here to see it.”
I play with my bottom lip between my teeth. “So do I, honey. So do I.”
It’s been a long time since I’ve been home.
Scott and I managed to get through teenage parenthood while he qualified as a lawyer, and then we went to the UK for the first few years before coming back to New Zealand.
I flew back to Napier a couple of times with the boys, but when we returned, we settled into a life in Auckland and didn’t really travel a lot after that.
And then we lost Scott.
It’s bittersweet being here. This is the house where we spent hours hanging out together when we were kids, and where he’d sneak over to see me when we were teenagers. He kissed me for the first time in this yard.
Not having him here with us is cruel
.
I blow out a long breath to stop myself from tearing up as I stop the car.
“This is it. This is where I grew up,” I say.
“It’s so small. Did you really live here?” Braden asks.
I laugh. “I did. It was just Mum, Dad, and your Uncle Caleb. It’s a three-bedroom house. You’ve been spoiled.”
“I’m just glad we’ve got a big house. And a pool. I can’t wait to go for a swim.”
“I’ve got no idea what condition the pool is in, so that might have to wait a while.”
He rolls his eyes, and I shake my head.
Mum appears at the back door. Her smile warms my heart and makes me feel even more at home.
I unclick my seatbelt, open the door and step out of the car.
“Chloe.” Mum practically skates across the yard, her eyes wide, and I all but fall into her arms—it’s so good to be home. “How was the drive?”
“Long. I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep.”
She kisses me on the forehead. “The beds are made. You’ve got your own room, and the boys are together if that’s okay.”
“Probably not, but it’s only one night so they’ll have to deal with it.” I laugh.
Her gaze shifts to Braden and Xander, who are now standing behind me. “Oh, it’s so good to see you two.” Mum’s head tilts back a little. “You’ve grown so much.”
She lets go of me, and both boys step forward to hug her, my mother disappearing in their arms as they dwarf her tiny frame. I smile, knowing how she feels right now; the boys take after their father in height, not me.
They’re so much like him, and it makes my heart ache.
Mum looks like a pig in mud, she’s so happy to see them both. I’m glad we came here for the night so she could see them before we spend however long unpacking.
“Come in, all of you. I’ve cooked a lamb roast with all the trimmings. I’m sure you’re all hungry.”
I nod, despite knowing the lamb will be dryer than the Sahara. My mum’s never been the best cook. But I appreciate the effort more than I can say.
Dad is just inside the door, and he hugs me tight as the others walk past us and into the kitchen.
“It’s good to see you, love. Drive okay?”
I nod. “Just long.”
“Caleb passes on his regards. He had other plans for the night, but he’ll come and visit you at the new house.”
I bite down my smirk. If I know my brother at all, his regards will involve the words ‘fuck you.’ He loves me, really, but he never stops giving me a hard time. It helps me keep sane, even at a distance.
“Thanks, Dad. I’m sure we’ll catch up soon. He’ll be ’round once the swimming pool is up and running.”
Dad chuckles. “No doubt.”
“Well, if everyone gets washed up, I’ll serve dinner. Boys, go wash your hands.”
I catch Xander and Braden’s gazes. “Come on, you two. Let’s get cleaned up.”
I’d kill for a shower, but my stomach grumbles and reminds me that I refused to stop for food earlier. The drive is long enough without extending it.
By the time we get back to the table, Mum’s put the food out, and I breathe in the familiar smell of her cooking. It’s not that great, but right now I’d eat a horse and the rider if I had to.
Dad carves the roast, and we pile our plates high with food.
“Gravy?” Mum asks.
My boys both shake their heads while I roll my eyes at them.
“You should have the gravy,” I say.
“Muuum.” Braden moans. He’s not usually a whiner, but it’s been a big week of packing and moving and we’ll all be happy to be settled.
“Trust me. You should have the gravy.” It’s the only moisture the meat’s going to get, and Xander at least picks up my suggestion and takes the offered gravy boat from his grandmother. Braden follows suit, exchanging a glance with his brother.
But regardless of how dry it is, we all plough into it and eat until we’re full. I lean back in my seat and let out a loud burp.
“Mum.” Xander laughs. He’s such a moody kid that it does my heart good to hear it.
“Pardon me. Thanks, Mum.”
My mother laughs. “You’re welcome. Do you want dessert? I’ve got ice cream.”
“The boys might. I’m fine. I’ll make a coffee.”
I get up and take my plate to the kitchen, placing it in the dishwasher before turning on the jug.
For a moment, I look out the window to the backyard.
“What are you doing?” I laugh.
“You know I like you, Chloe. Don’t you?” He’s so goofy when he’s nervous. I don’t even know why he is. We’ve been friends since we were little kids.
“I like you too.”
Scott leans in and pecks me on the lips. I blush and turn my head. But it seals the deal. I’m thirteen years old and Scott Cooper’s girlfriend.
I’m pretty sure this makes it official.
“Mum?”
I blink and turn my head to see Braden frowning, head tilted, nose scrunched, biting a thumbnail.
“Yes? Hello.”
“Xander and I are going to unpack the car after dessert. Do you want us to bring in your things?”
I nod. “Sure. That’d be great. Thank you.”
“Are you okay?”
I smile, and nod again. “I’m fine. Just tired. It’s been a long day. Both of you need to learn to drive.”
“Does that mean you’re buying us a car?” Xander asks.
I laugh. “Maybe I’ll make you drive me around in mine.”
His face falls, but I already have plans to do just that when the time is right. It won’t be anything too pricey, but Scott and I talked about it before his death and planned to make sure whatever we bought, or they bought, was safe.
Although, if I could make it so, neither of them will ever be on the road.
“We’ll talk about it when the time is right.”
I make my coffee and take it to the living room where I can sit in peace for a while and drink it. I’m in such a weird space right now. It’s been four years since my husband died, but this is the biggest move I’ve made so far to start a new life. But no matter where I go, he’s there too.
I close my eyes. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since I was last in this house, but it’s home. And I’m glad I’m here for the night before we start the new chapter in our lives.
Being here eases the fear of it all.
With our things out of the car and the boys in their room, I head to bed.
I close the door behind me and face plant into the rock hard mattress. But I don’t care.
Standing, I drop my jeans to the floor and unhook my bra, pulling it off underneath my T-shirt. And then I flop back onto the bed and pull the blanket over me.
The last few weeks have been exhausting.
There was no real plan to move back here. Scott and I had talked about it in a vague sense, and we’d kept an eye on the property market for years. Seeing the house come up for sale had seemed like too good an opportunity to miss.
It seemed like fate.
His life insurance payment was sitting in the bank just gathering interest, so I got to pocket the profit from our Auckland house as well as not having to worry about a mortgage here.
I’d swap it all for having him back in a heartbeat.
But, that’s not an option. I made my decision, and the boys were surprisingly happy to go along with it. I thought I’d have more of a fight, but they were also struggling with the constant reminders of their father.
This is a fresh start for all three of us.
I can’t wait to get back to my own bed, but for the meantime, I’m going to sleep like Braden did when he was a baby—for a long stretch of time.
It doesn’t take long to drift off, despite the hardness of the mattress and the pillow being too soft.
Nothing really matters right now.
“Mum?”
I’ve been a light sleeper since the day those boys were born, and I smile to myself through my sleepy haze.
“Braden.”
He pulls the blanket up and slides into bed with me. “I hate sharing rooms with Xander.”
“It’s only for one night, honey.”
He snuggles in against me. “Grandma can’t cook either. Dinner was awful.”
I chuckle. “I know. I did try to tell you.”
“You’re cooking tomorrow night, right?”
I roll over, slide my arm under his neck and press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s our first night in the house. Maybe we can order pizza.”
“I like that idea.”
The bed sinks behind me, and I shake my head. “Hello, Xander.”
“Grandma’s cooking sucks.”
All I can do is laugh.
“Mum said we can get pizza tomorrow, Xan.”
“Thank God.”
“Can we all just get some sleep?” I pull my arm out from under Braden and roll onto my back.
When they were little, the boys would always climb into bed between Scott and me. They insisted they’d grown out of it by the time they were nine. But since his death, they do it when they need reassurance. And it’s never just one. It’s always both of them.
Me? I still hate this mattress, but tomorrow I’ll be back in my soft, king size bed. I’m too tired to even care that we’re squished into this double.
We’re home.
Two
Chloe
My eyeballs ache.
Maybe I should have stayed in the new house—linen or not. Sleeping in a too small bed with two nearly-adult-teenagers wasn’t the brightest thing I’ve ever done, but I was so tired last night, I didn’t care.
