by V. T. Do
There was power in giving my control to Mason. There was power in allowing myself to be the vulnerable one.
His hands moved then, from my hips up to my breasts as he weighed each one in his hands. They suddenly felt heavy and I didn’t know what to do with my hands. Did he want me to touch him back?
My thoughts were shattered when he pinched my nipple with his pointer finger and thumb, and I pulled away from the kiss to look at him. His hair was messy, and his lips swollen, and there was this dirty look about him that left me in a lustful haze.
Mason never looked away from my eyes as he played with me. I thought he was looking for a sign of distress, but I was far from it.
Sometimes, I feared I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head and enjoy what I did sexually because of what happened with Lorenzo. But that wasn’t the case. When I was with Mason, I was really with Mason.
There was nothing but the sensations he was able to evoke from me.
He leaned down and took a hard nipple between his lips, and I threw my head back. My hip moved, trying to find a way to ease the ache that had taken residence in the pounding flesh between my legs, only to worsen when he used his teeth. “God, Mason. You make me crazy.”
I felt him smile against my skin, before his hand made their way down. My fingers dug into his skin when I realized just where he was headed, and he pulled away far enough to look at me as I felt his hand there for the first time.
He cupped my sex, and my fist clenched from the sensation. Then he moved his hands, his palm moving over my slit, and I wanted to shatter in his arms. It felt too good. Much better than when I touched myself.
I moved my hips along the movement, and he quickened his pace.
“Oh, Mason!”
“God, you’re so fucking wet for me, aren’t you?”
He pinched my clit when I didn’t answer, and I nodded. “You feel so good. Do you want me to finger fuck you, Olivia?”
Did I?
Lorenzo did that to me, and I didn’t know how I would react when Mason did it. Would the memories of my assault be too much? Or would it be enough to erase all those nasty things Lorenzo did to me? I didn’t know.
“Please don’t enter me,” I said, and I hated how my voice cracked at the end.
Mason immediately took his hand away, the moment officially ruined. The lustful look in his eyes cleared in an instant, and he fell down on the mattress, with me cradle protectively in his arms, his chest heaving. I touched his shoulder. He felt tense.
“I’m sorry. I ruined this, didn’t I?”
He looked at me, surprise written all over his face. “What? How could you have ruined this? You didn’t do anything, baby. Just give me a moment to collect myself.”
But despite his reassuring words, I didn’t feel reassured. Annoyance and disappointment stabbed at me. I wished I didn’t feel so broken inside. Not wanting to be naked a second longer, I quickly moved away and grabbed my discarded shirt, putting it back on.
Mason watched me, but I didn’t know what that look in his eyes meant. Once I was close enough, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into his lap.
I shifted around to get comfortable but froze when my thigh brushed up against his erection. He shot me a self-deprecating smile. “Sorry.”
I blushed and looked down to the collar of his shirt. “Don’t be.”
If I wasn’t like this, we would be on to doing something much more fun than this painful conversation I was sure were about to have…
35
Mason
My heart was still pounding hard inside my chest, even with her in my arms.
I tried to remember everything I had said or done that would scare her, but perhaps I was too far in my head to take the care and consideration she needed.
I was a bastard.
Her small voice, asking me not to enter her, still rang clearly in my mind. I never wanted to hear that quiet distress I heard in her voice ever again.
And I won’t.
I would make sure of it.
I didn’t know if this was the right decision, to stop fighting my feelings for her. A part of me felt guilty for even daring to hold an angel in my arms, but the other part of me—the bigger part—was ecstatic she was here.
The thought of her going to other men… no, not other men, but boys, to teach her all about pleasure was enough to make me want to ram my fist into a wall.
I didn’t want anyone to touch her.
My arms tightened around her unconsciously, and she wiggled a little against me, peeking up at me beneath her eyelashes.
I met those chocolate-colored eyes of hers, feeling myself swaying a bit. She had the kind of eyes I could easily get lost in.
So fucking precious.
I had the world’s greatest treasure in my arms.
When she offered a small, shy smile, it took everything in me not to capture her lips with mine and devour her whole.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry about her question. I frowned instead. “I think I should be asking you that. Did I scare you?”
She shook her head, and the relief that coursed through me was so strong, I was almost shaking with it
“Thank fuck.”
She cupped my cheek and brought my eyes back to her. “Nothing about you scares me, Mason. I was just a little bit lost in my thoughts there, that’s all. I’m sorry for freaking you out.”
“Hey, don’t ever apologize to me for voicing feelings. I want to know everything. And I would never be angry with you for asking me to stop. I would rather cut off my own arm than ever make you feel the same way Lorenzo made you feel.”
She smiled again, this one bigger than the last. “I know that. Thank you. I just…”
She trailed off and looked down. And I got the feeling she was ashamed about something. I lifted her chin until she looked at me once more. Where I could see those expressive eyes of hers.
“What is it?”
“Sorry. I just wish I wasn’t so broken up over what happened this summer.”
Anger coursed through me, and I wanted to beat the shit out of Lorenzo once again. The bastard deserved to rot at whatever hellhole they were keeping him in. And I was going to fuck his life up. That was a promise.
“Listen to me, sweetheart. I wished you never had to experience that. It kills me just thinking about all you went through before Max and I showed up at the house. But it happened. It just doesn’t have to define you. One day, you’re going to heal. You won’t be so broken up about it anymore. You’re going to enjoy a nice and intimate life, and everything will be okay.”
And if I had anything to say about it, that life would be shared with me.
I caught one of her toothy grins before she leaned in close and captured my mouth with hers. I held still, letting her control the kiss the way she wanted. She didn’t take it any further than the hard press of her lips against mine, and when she pulled away, her eyes were a little glazed. I loved my effect on her.
“Can I clean you up?” I asked quietly. Perhaps what we had done before was a little too much for her. And what she needed was aftercare. I might be able to offer that to her. Though, I didn’t have a lot of experience with it.
I had only been in one other serious relationship before her, and the person I was with wasn’t into aftercare—or intimacy. Everything between us had been about rough, passionate fucking.
I shook my head. I didn’t need to be thinking about my other relationship while I had her in my arms. For many reasons…
I looked down and caught Olivia blushing. I loved that even after everything we’d done, she was still shy.
She nodded.
I pulled her to the middle of the bed until her head rested on the pillow. She focused her attention on the ceiling, on the glow-in-the-dark stars, while I got up to get a wet cloth to clean her up.
She let out a gasp when I spread her legs, and I stopped immediately to look at her. “Is this okay,
sweetheart?”
She nodded, though I could tell she was trying to get away from her thoughts. I knew the sentiment.
“Talk to me?” she asked.
I paused, thinking. Then I told her about my week. About a new case that just came up, and even about my lunch with Brody Frost, though I probably shouldn’t have mentioned his name. I knew about her adolescent crush on the hockey star. I wondered how she felt about him now.
While I talked, I moved the towel up the inside of thighs to clean her up. I started from one thigh, moved to the other, and then finally, to her center, doing everything in my power to not get an erection.
She didn’t need that from me.
There was nothing sexual about the act, but I could see how wet she was getting from it. It was driving me crazy. I didn’t comment, but I continued on with the one-sided conversation.
After I was done, her face was beet red, and she wouldn’t quite meet my eyes. I leaned forward and kissed her lips, loving how pliant she’d become under me. “All done, sweetheart. Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll make you something to eat?”
She nodded.
I climbed off the bed with the soiled towel and left her room without another word, giving her some privacy. I resisted the urge to bring the towel up to my nose and sniff, like the deprived bastard I was, and walked downstairs.
Just as I was pulling out the ingredients for a ham and cheese sandwich, I heard the garage door opening.
36
Olivia
Despite the fact that we said we’d talk the day after the party, Lizzie and I never got around to it. I still didn’t know what had gotten her so down, though she seemed to be improving in the past week.
She looked to be gaining some of her weight back slowly, though not by much, and there was a glow about her that made me think she might be okay. We hadn’t really hung out outside of school since, and on that next Friday, Lizzie came home with me after school.
I still hadn’t told Lizzie about how far my relationship with Mason had progressed; I hadn’t told her how deep I had fallen, or that I thought I might be in love him.
We got out of my car, and Lizzie looked over at something past my shoulder. “What?” I asked, turning behind to look.
There was a “For Sale” sign hanging in the front lawn of the house next door.
“I can’t believe Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins are moving,” I muttered.
They talked about retiring to California where most of their grandkids were, but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I looked back at Lizzie. “Hopefully whoever moves in after them are good people. I know it would drive Max crazy if we ended up with loud neighbors.”
Lizzie smiled a little. “I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
I shrugged because it was out of my control.
I knew we were the only people home at this time, and I thought it would be a good time to bring up what was going on with her.
“Tea?” I asked her.
Lizzie nodded, and I could see the resigned look in her eyes. She knew what was coming.
We were silent while we waited for the water to boil. Then I passed her a mug, and Lizzie held it up against her chest. With it finally being fall, the weather had turned cold, with the promise of snow in the next couple of weeks. I was born and raised in Chicago, but I didn’t think I would ever get used to the winters here.
I leaned against the counter, facing her. I wasn’t going to force Lizzie to tell me. If she really didn’t want to talk, there was nothing I could do about it, but I really did think she wanted to tell me.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.
I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t even think I was breathing. That was not something I thought she would ever say.
I cleared my throat. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Pretty sure. Five pregnancy tests, and I’m late.”
“Do your parents know?”
“No. I dread telling them.”
“It’s Sam’s baby?” She nodded. I took a sip of my drink. That’s the thing about being so young, we never really thought this kind of thing could ever happen to us. When Lizzie and I talked about kids, we were talking about the distant future. And now it was happening, and we weren’t even in our twenties yet.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
“You mean, am I going to get rid of it?” I nodded, and Lizzie placed her hand on her stomach. I didn’t even think she was aware that she was doing it. “I want to have this baby. I know it wasn’t something I planned, but that’s alright. I had enough time to process it, and I’m okay with changing my plan.”
“What plan?”
“Graduating. Becoming a playwright.” She shot me a wobbly smile. “It’s not the end of the world not to get there, right?”
“But that’s your dream.”
“Well, maybe it’s time for a different dream.”
I thought that was optimistic of Lizzie to say. At the very least, she was finding new ways to adapt to this huge change in her life.
So then, why did I feel like crying? I put my mug down and walked over to her, taking her into my arms. She hugged me back, her hold tight, and I didn’t want to let her go.
“Things will work out for the best. I know they will.”
I hated how I didn’t exactly agree with this new plan but couldn’t outright say it. It would be hard enough taking care of a newborn and going to school at the same time with help. Maybe when this baby got older…
Lizzie wouldn’t be returning to school next year. Not with a newborn.
I was heartbroken for her. All she ever talked about was becoming a writer. And now it wasn’t possible for many, many years, if ever.
“I know.”
“And I’ll help out with whenever you need. Just say the word. I can’t wait to be fun Aunt Olivia to your future kid.”
“Thank you. I know I can always count on you.”
“Always.” I pulled away far enough to see her face. Then I wiped away her tears and smiled. “So, what is the new plan? And what do you need me to do?”
“Well, I need to tell Sam first. Then Mom and Dad. All I need from you is your support.”
“You have it,” I said fiercely. She shot me small smile. “We’ll be okay, Lizzie. Things might seem hard now, but it’ll all work out. And from what I know about Sam, he won’t leave. He’ll be supportive.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Me too. I hoped I didn’t sound as naïve as I felt when I said it, because the only thing I was basing this off of was how crazy he seemed to be about her. That had to mean something. Even if they ended up not working out, he had to be there for his kid, right?
We pulled away when we heard the garage door opening. I handed Lizzie a tissue before grabbing one for myself and wiping away the tears. When I looked at her, her eyes were still red and blotchy, and it was obvious she’d been crying. I probably looked the same way.
This was not good. I didn’t know if it was Mason or Max who had just came home, and I didn’t know who I hoped it would be, because either one would question why Lizzie and I looked like we’d been crying.
The door opened and Lizzie and I turned away from it. We probably looked ridiculous standing there with our backs to the threshold, not saying anything. I heard footsteps on the hardwood floor, before pausing.
“Hey, girls. What are you doing?”
It was Max.
“Oh, you know, just drinking tea and talking.”
“Right.” He walked further into the kitchen, until he was in front of us. Max took us in, then he was frowning, but he didn’t say anything. His eyes lingered more on Lizzie.
I shot him a small smile, tugging on the sleeves of his shirt, trying to get his attention away from her. “What are we doing for dinner, tonight? Do you think we can have spaghetti?”
He tapped my nose playfully. “As good as that sounds, how about we save that for another night. I already brought groceries for tonight’s di
nner. It’s going to be something new. Thought Mason might like it. It was his favorite meal growing up.”
I perked up. “Oh? What is it?”
“Tex-Mex chicken and vegetable skillet.”
Sounds gross. But I didn’t say it. My face must have shown it, though, because Max laughed. “You have to eat your vegetables, Olive. You can’t just avoid them for the rest of your life. They’re part of an important food group.”
I pouted. I had been eating more vegetable in the months living with Max than I had in my entire life. And I detested vegetables.
Max laughed and turned to Lizzie. “Are you staying for dinner, sweetheart?”
She smiled then, and I was glad to see the old Lizzie in that smile. “Yes. Thank you, Max.”
“Of course. Now, why don’t you girls get started on your homework while I work my magic.”
Max rubbed his hands together, looking pretty excited to try out something new. Lizzie and I shared a smile before we left Max to it.
Mason announced at dinner that night that he had decided he didn’t want to wait for his old apartment to be fixed and that he was moving out of Max’s house to another new condo the next weekend. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I didn’t want him to move out, but I didn’t know how to say it without sounding desperate, so I stayed silent.
There wasn’t much furniture that needed to be transferred. What was salvageable from water damage had been put in storage, but even that wasn’t much. Thankfully, most of the furniture that survived had been in his bedroom, so at least he had a bed to sleep in.
Mason’s new apartment was closer to Max’s house than his old one. It wasn’t nearly as nice as his other one, though it was nice enough.
It wasn’t a sky rise, and there wasn’t a parking garage, for one. It was a two-bedroom unit with hardwood floors, granite countertops, stainless steel kitchen appliances, and an open floor plan, with a black electric fireplace in the center of the living room. One bedroom was a nice, big master, and the other Mason was turning into his office.
