“Rach?”
“Out here, Car,” she finally responded.
Her sister stepped out to the patio and the dogs greeted her, delighted to get extra attention.
“Olive! Martini! Aren’t you good dogs! Auntie Carlie is here to spoil you rotten!”
She continued to coo, pulling contraband treats from her pockets. Rachael rolled her eyes but grinned as Carlie and the dogs ran down to the grass to practice simple commands. Once the supply was exhausted, Carlie returned up the stairs, wiping her hands and dropping into the chair next to Rachael’s.
“She looks good. That little cast is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen, but she seems to be dealing with it pretty well.”
Rachael kept watching the dogs. They sniffed around the yard, working in tight circles.
“You doing okay, Rach? Mom said you left early.”
She stared at the tree line behind the house. “I had to pick up Olive.”
Carlie watched her older sister for a minute. “But are you okay?”
Rachael turned her gaze to her sister. “What do you mean?”
“You’re being very quiet. Very un-Rachael.”
“Rick won’t talk to me.”
“Oh.”
They sat quietly, both watching the dogs.
“You like him?”
“Yes.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly.”
They sat for a while longer, until Carlie disappeared into the house, returning with two cups. “Take it,” she said, holding one out.
“I don’t really feel like drinking right now,” Rachael said, staring blankly into the yard.
“It’s orange juice, you wackadoodle. Drink it.”
Amused, Rachael glanced at her. “OJ?”
Carlie shrugged. “Vitamin C. Sweetness. Orange-y. It always makes me feel better.”
They sipped their juice and swam in their own thoughts. Carlie didn’t bother trying to fill the quiet. She comforted with her presence, her hushed support. There was something to be said about silence.
“Thanks, Car.” Rachael sighed, setting down the empty cup.
“What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I don’t know. Try to forget about him?”
“Can I weigh in?”
“Go for it.”
“I’ve never seen you get upset over a guy. Ever. You must really like him. Like, like him.” She stopped and looked at her sister, waiting for a response.
Rachael huffed at the similar expectant expressions she and her sister had, but twirled her hand, encouraging her sister to continue.
“I’m not sure you should give up on this. And it’s not like you actually had something going on with Gabe, right? It’s a simple misunderstanding. He’s not used to the papers, the photographers. Find him. Talk to him.”
If only it were that simple. She and Rick had spent a couple of days getting to know each other, followed by an unbelievable day together, culminating at his place. Then she rolled out of bed to have dinner with another man. What was she thinking?! He was so considerate, so worried about rushing things, moving too fast. And there she went, moving on to another guy when she was still tired and worked over from hours with Rick.
If she were Rick, she wouldn’t talk to her either.
“I was just going to meet with Gabe to end things. I didn’t want to do that over the phone. We ended up talking about Rick,” she whispered, resting her chin on her knee.
Sadness weighed heavily in Carlie’s eyes. “Talk to him. Explain it.”
Rachael shook her head in frustration. Carlie couldn’t understand. It was her own fault. All of it.
“I have to go. Are you going to be okay? I can come back later,” said Carlie.
Rachael smiled as brightly as she could fake, swallowing past the gargantuan pile of guilt and fear. “I’m fine. Thanks for the juice and the pep talk, CarCar.”
“Liar,” she teased gently, nudging Rachael’s shoulder. “Call me if you need someone to listen, okay?”
“I will.”
14
Two weeks later, and still not a peep from Rick.
Thankfully, her job had commanded her attention. After closing the deal with McAllister Corp, she began having regular chats with Gabe to coordinate things, which had turned into a bizarrely unexpected yet comfortable, close friendship. As the paparazzi were now convinced they were an item, they had to conduct most of their business and resulting friendship over the phone, which had the pleasant side effect of reinforcing a platonic relationship.
“The guy is a tool. If he shut you out for something like that, he doesn’t deserve your time or attention,” Gabe said during one of what had become their twice-daily phone calls. Rachael was on her way home when they started the call.
“I know, but I can’t help but feel like this is all a terrible misunderstanding. I want to talk to him. Explain what happened.”
“Then call him,” he said, as if she hadn’t already thought of that.
“I’ve tried, but he doesn’t answer.”
“Did you text him?”
“A couple times, but he hasn’t responded,” she complained.
“If you were my sister, I’d be hauling this guy out of his office and beating the ever-living shit out of him. As it is, I haven’t ruled it out yet.”
Rachael laughed. “Good thing I’m not your sister—though I doubt Calista has ever had someone ghost on her. And, Gabe, honey, I cannot see you doing that. You’re too sweet.”
He was quiet for a minute.
“Gabe?”
Clearing his throat, he muttered, “Nothing.”
“Anyways, what are you up to this week?”
“Finishing up at the office before flying out to San Antonio tonight. Boston on Thursday. And Rach, I mean it. The guy doesn’t deserve you. You’re too good for him.”
“You’re a good friend, Gabe. I appreciate being able to talk to you about this.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t go ruining my reputation with this good guy stuff.”
“Sure, sure, Mr. McAllister. Your sensitive badass reputation is safe with me,” she giggled, still amazed at how tight they’d become over the last few weeks.
His warm chuckle filled her ear and she smiled. Who knew that he’d end up being one of her closest friends? She’d never made friends easily, and the way that she and Gabe had clicked so fast was something she tried not to dwell on too much. Of course, Carlie and Kim thought she was nuts, but it was all good. She could control this.
“I have to go,” she said, “but I’ll talk to you later. Safe travels!”
“Bye, love. Call or text if you need me.”
“Will do.”
Rachael ended the call as she swung into her parents’ long driveway to pick up Olive for her follow up. She didn’t expect to see Rick, so she wasn’t surprised when Gil walked out to greet her. “Happy Monday! How is my favorite garnish today?”
“She’s great, Gil. Glad to see you.”
She glanced at the counter where Nancy was studiously ignoring her. Rachael walked past her to the exam room and gave her a small wave. She glared back with ice in her expression. Ouch.
Gil tapped the steel tabletop and she set Olive down. Her paws scraped the metal and she skittered before sitting still.
“Good afternoon, Olive. There’s a good girl. How are you today?” He let her sniff his hands before scratching under her chin and behind her ears. Olive was delighted by the attention. “How is her mobility?”
“Good. I think she’s completely ignoring the cast. You should see her going up and down the stairs and running after Martini.”
He conducted a thorough exam and determined the bones were starting to set. “Everything is looking good. Bring her back in two weeks and this will probably be ready to come off.”
Smiling, she toted her healing girl out to the car. Rachael might not have been over Rick yet, but at least there was some healing happening s
omewhere.
“Rachael!”
Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Nancy shuffling out the door. Rachael leaned into the car to roll down the windows for Olive, then rushed back across the lot to meet her. “Nancy? What’s going on?”
Nancy stared at her, an internal struggle bringing an uncharacteristic frown to her bubbly face.
“Dear, I don’t know what happened between you and Rick, but I have to tell you something. Flaunting your relationship with that other man was just cruel. Now I know you didn’t set out to hurt him, but I have to say my piece. You are not a nice person.”
Tears pricked the backs of Rachael’s eyes, and she glanced up at the sky, searching for words that didn’t come. When Rachael was able to look back at Nancy, a wet trickle slid down her cheek. “Nancy, that was dinner with a friend. That’s all. Gabe and I are friends. I met with him in person that night to make sure he understood that. Nothing more. I swear, I did not mean to hurt Rick. I miss him . . .” she trailed off, unable to continue.
Nancy arched a brow at her, then turned and left.
Wiping the now-twin trails off her cheeks, Rachael returned to the car, reaching in to pet Olive, who licked her hand. “Two more weeks, girl.”
Grabbing her phone, she messaged Carlie to let her know about Olive. She stared at her phone for a few minutes, then messaged Rick. Sorry I missed you again. I miss you.
Her phone vibrated and her heart raced.
Want to risk dinner with me before I leave tonight?
Gabe. Her smile faded. She could use a friend right now. Sure. That’d be great.
Good. Pick you up at your place in a few.
Sounds good. Just come on in when you get there—I’ll be out back.
She returned home and caught up on some work, trying to distract herself from what Nancy had said. Closing her laptop, she devoted herself to babying Olive and spending time in the yard with the furry duo. The dogs were loving it here, but she needed to find a place. She had looked at a few rentals when time permitted, but nothing she could see her and the dogs calling home.
“Hey pretty lady,” she heard echo through the house. “You here?”
“Out here,” she called. “Hey yourself.”
Gabe strolled out to the patio and gestured to the dogs. “I thought she would get the cast off today. That’s disappointing.”
“Two more weeks. Sounds like she’ll get it off then.”
“Any sign of . . . ?”
Rachael shook her head no.
He wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug, kissing her hair. “I’m sorry, Rach.”
“I know I need to accept it and move on, but . . .”
He held her quietly.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go eat.”
Gabe took her to a small diner downtown where they ordered classic greasy burgers, fries, and ginormous milkshakes. Not a photographer in sight. “I know how to put a smile on your face, see?”
Grinning at the mountain of blended strawberry ice cream, Rachael dug in. “This is so good. And just what I needed. Thank you.”
He smiled and scooped out a big spoonful of chocolate milkshake. “You know it’s good when you need a spoon.”
They munched on their retro food, bantering about work and the tech integrations.
“Seems like the comms platform is working well for McAllister,” she said. “How’s the content management system going?”
“We’ve got a team laying the groundwork, and the EHL support team has been very responsive to our needs. Thinking we’ll be able to launch the CMS on January first.”
While he spoke, a tomato seed slid down his chin. She couldn’t help but laugh.
“What?”
“You have something,” she paused, grabbing her napkin, “riiiiiight there! Got it.” She giggled and pulled her hand back.
He caught her wrist. “Rachael.”
“What?”
He didn’t say anything, just stared at her, his gaze roaming her face.
“Do I have something on my face?”
He shook his head and remained silent, slowly releasing his hold on her wrist.
“Gabe?” Rachael tossed a fry at him. “Stop it. You’re freaking me out.”
He grinned and ate the fried missile before calling for the check.
They finished their dinner and shakes and took the conversation outside. It was a nice evening, so they turned toward the riverfront to walk along the banks. While they strolled, she thought longingly of her walk to the dog park with Rick. She wondered if he liked visiting the river. What flavor milkshakes he liked.
Stop it, Rach!
Shaking her head, she returned to the present. “Fourth of July is coming up. It’s always been one of my favorite holidays,” she mused. “When we were little, Carlie and I would try to write our names in the glow of the sparklers. She always won by saying C-A-R counted.”
He chuckled and took her hand as they continued to stroll.
Rachael glanced down at their entwined hands.
Oh.
His thumb brushed the back of her hand, and she looked up at him.
Rachael tried to tug her hand away. “Gabe, I—”
He held tight to her. “Shh. Don’t say it. Just hear me out.”
Rachael gathered her patience and went along, worrying about his change in demeanor. Hoping, praying he wasn’t going to do or say something to change things. The last few weeks of heartbreak had been miserable, and she couldn’t handle more stress right now. He stopped at a bench next to the bridge and released her hand. Sitting, he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his long black hair.
“I know you had something going with that guy, the vet. But Rach, he’s gone. I’ve waited and watched. And I don’t see him doing anything but causing you more pain. You know how I feel about you. I like you. Hell, I’m halfway to loving you.”
Rachael looked into his cool-blue eyes and her heart constricted. He looked so earnest, but he knew how she felt. How could he be saying this? God, why was everything such a cluster?
“Is this a line? Are you messing with me?”
“No. I mean it. I want to try this. You and me. Us.”
Frowning, she looked out at the dark Ohio River, watching a rusted barge pass a riverboat. “Gabe, I don’t know. I love this, our friendship. Besides Carlie and Kim, you’re the only person I can really relax and be myself around. You’ve come to mean so much to me. Please, I don’t want to lose this.”
“You don’t understand. We don’t have to lose it. We could build on it. There’s no better foundation for a relationship. This is not a joke, Rachael. I want to be with you. Jesus, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want to love you. I want you to love me. Choose me.”
“Gabe. Please.” She raised her hand to stop his words, wishing she could unhear them. “I can’t. Not right now. I need more time.” And even with time, she didn’t think she could be what he wanted. He couldn’t be who she wanted.
He sighed and stood, pulling her up next to him. He placed his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes. “I’ll wait. For you.”
Rachael shook her head and leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She didn’t know what to say, so she simply replied, “Thank you.”
“Now cheer up and tell me more about Carlie’s matrix platform,” he suggested, changing the subject.
Gabe was better than she deserved. But he was also what she needed right now.
15
With Gabe out of town and Kim and Carlie busy, Rachael took to working longer hours at the office. Her client list was growing and the contracts were accumulating. As much as she loved the pitch, the paperwork was a bitch.
“How is it going with the contracts?” Mom asked from the doorway after several days of Rachael sequestering herself in the office.
“It’s going. Did you get the signed copies?”
Her mother came in and sat in the chair in front of Rachael’s desk.
This is new.
“Uh, Mom? Everything okay?”
“Rachael, I understand you’ve been under a lot of stress.”
She slowly nodded at her mother, watching her warily.
Yes, she was wary of her own mother.
What did she know? Where was this going?
“I’m not the most maternal of mothers,” Mary chuckled nervously and waved a hand through the air. “Nothing like stating the obvious, I know.”
She paused and stared over Rachael’s shoulder before meeting her daughter’s eyes. “I’m sorry that I can’t be more than I am. But I want you to know that I see what you’re going through, and I am proud of you for pushing through obstacles that would have sidelined others.”
Rachael swallowed the suspicious lump in her throat and aimed for nonchalant. “Mom, you don’t have to apologize.”
Her mother waved a hand again, batting the comment away.
“Tell me, what is happening with you and Gabe? You two have been spending time together. Seems like I’m always hearing about one of his cars pulling up to the house.”
“Not much to tell. We’re friends. He mentioned he’d like us to make a go of things, but I’m not ready.” Rachael knew he had arrived back in town last night, but she had been hesitant to reach out after their last conversation.
Her mother’s bright blue eyes blinked in surprise and she studied her daughter. “He was fine with that?”
“Yes.”
“What do you want?”
Rachael thought back to the afternoon with Rick.
“I want more,” she replied with a shrug, staring down at her desk. Gabe didn’t make her feel the way Rick did. No one had ever made her feel that way. Rachael frowned, wondering what that meant. Was this what Kim went through with Owen every time they split up? No wonder they kept getting back together.
“That’s my girl.” Her mother smiled as she walked to the door, patting her sleek blonde updo, then paused. “You’ve surprised me, Rachael.”
“How’s that?”
“You let yourself be happy with someone new; you took a risk outside of your comfort zone. I like seeing you happy.”
Rachael watched her leave the office and sank back against her leather chair, thinking. Was she unhappy before? She didn’t think she was at the time, but now she wondered. She thought about her own parents’ full life of work and family. And Carlie and Brent. They all seemed to be able to manage things. Maybe she had always considered relationships unimportant as an excuse to avoid getting hurt.
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