by Jen L. Grey
All I want to do is go to my room and sleep, but they aren’t going to let this drop. I just want to be by myself and think everything through. However, if I don’t do this, they are going to hound me all night. I close my eyes and search through my core, trying to ignite it. As always, it doesn’t want to pull from the world, and I try to kick start it.
Dad grabs my hand. “Come on, Christina. Do it now.”
Digging deeper inside, I push against it harder and it begins to swirl, but not hard. It’s enough to make the uncomfortable feeling inside me. The closest sensation I could describe it to is nails against a chalkboard but inside me.
“Ugh…” Dad groans and shakes his head. “I can’t believe this.”
No matter how hard I try, the turning won’t get any faster. I’m at a loss at what to do. The older I get, the more I’m repelled by it.
After several long minutes, Dad drops his hands. “Go to your room and think about the repercussions of your decisions. If you don’t get your shit together, you’re taking your whole family down with you.”
Like I don’t already know the consequences. I want to roll my eyes but don’t. Not wanting to hear any more and needing to check on Becca, I hurry upstairs and into my room, locking the door behind me.
My eyes dart to my closet, but the empty bag of Doritos in my trash can relieves some weight on shoulders. At least, she ate something and got out of that tiny room for a little while. With her in my house, it helps keep her hidden from other reapers since she’s surrounded by me and my things.
The door to my closet is open, so I walk in and pull the racks back. I knock on the door. “Becca, you okay in there?”
After a moment, the door pops open and Becca’s face appears. Her hair’s plastered to her head and her eyes appear glazed. “Hey, are you okay?”
My heart cracks a little more with how much she acts and sounds like Beth. She’s the one that is supposed to be dead and was resurrected, and she’s asking me if I’m okay. “It’s just been a long day. How are you?”
She opens the door the rest of the way and steps down and out of the area. “I’m feeling better but still really tired.” She raises her arms over her head and stretches. “Being cramped in that room doesn’t help, but I’m afraid to be out too long.”
At least, she has survivor instincts. This should help us along the long road ahead. If I risked all this to save her, then I’m not going to just hand her over to them. “Well, I’m here now. They won’t be able to track you this close to another reaper, and they won’t come look for me again, so let’s both get some rest.” I motion to the pile of the covers down on the floor. “I’m sorry this isn’t the best, but it should be better than the small room.”
Not needing any additional encouragement, she lies on top of the covers and pulls one on top of her.
I hurry to my bed and grab one of the pillows and carry it back to her. “Here, try to get some good sleep.”
She takes it from my hands and lifts her head, placing it underneath. “Thanks. Will you let me know if I need to hide?”
It’s hard to ignore the pleading in her hazel eyes. I take a deep breath and smile. “Of course. I’ll bang on the wall three times. That’ll be our cue.”
Her shoulders sag at the suggestion, and she nods. “Thanks. For some reason, I trust you.”
At least, one person does. I turn and walk out the door and crawl into my bed. I need to get some rest so I can think with a clear head.
The sound of something hitting my window startles me from sleep. It’s still dark outside, even though it appears that the sun is beginning to rise. I jump out of bed and run into my closet. “Becca, someone is outside my window. Hurry and hide.” I hurry over and move the clothes over and open up the hideaway door.
She’s up within seconds and climbing in, her eyes wide with fear.
Something else hits my window and my body tenses. However, she’s been through enough for the past two days to last a lifetime. “Don’t worry. If they are alerting me, it’s probably okay. Just don’t want to take any chances.”
“Thanks, I don’t either.” She nods and shuts the door.
There is a creaking coming from my room, almost as if my window is being raised. What the hell is going on? I rush back in the room and find Brad halfway through the window.
What an asshole. I grab his arm and pull him into my room, helping him land on his face. There is a pleasing thud when he hits the ground.
“Damn, that hurt.” He rolls over so he’s on his feet and his eyebrows are furrowed. “What the hell was that for?”
“Scaring the hell out of me.” I cross my arms and lean against the wall beside the window. “Do you realize what I’ve been through the last eight hours?”
Something flickers across his face. I’m not sure what, but he stares down at his feet. “I didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.” He blows a breath out through his lips. “I… I just wanted to check on you.”
I hadn’t seen him in a year or so, and now, within a day, I’ve seen him twice. Things are so strange right now. “I appreciate it, but things are shit right now. Selena informed the council and I was called in for an emergency meeting.”
His eyebrows rise so high they are hidden by his bangs. “What? And you’re still here?”
“Yeah.” I inspect my fingers, not comfortable giving him too much information. I’m not sure why. “They gave me a choice to find something or my family will be stripped of their status.”
A smirk spreads across his face. “That’s good news. I’m sure they’ll give you adequate resources for whatever it is you’re supposed to find, and then everything can go back to normal.”
My power churns at that comment. It’s a revolting, rotten sensation that makes my skin crawl, and a cold draft blows inside that causes me to shiver. “I don’t know.” I lay my head back against the wall and lower my tone. “Being stripped wouldn’t be a bad thing.”
His hand reaches out to my arm and tugs me to him. “Yes, it would. You know it’s more than that. You and your family would be outcasts and not welcomed here. You wouldn’t belong, and you’d have no resources when you are old and not well.” His blue eyes stare into mine. “I can’t lose you again.”
Whoa.
Before I can take a step back, he lowers his lips to my forehead. “I just want you to know… I’m here for you. All you have to do is call.” He pulls back. “Hell, I dropped everything today for you. Just don’t do anything stupid. You’re stronger than you realize.” He squeezes my hand and crawls out the window.
What the hell was that? I never saw that side of him before, but nothing sparked with his kiss.
My stomach growls, so I unlock my door and head down to the kitchen. I’ll just grab something for Becca and I to snack on. I grab some granola bars and water and head back.
As I walk past the front door, the rising sun is shining in the window and there is something colorful floating there.
Huh? What is that? I open the double doors and walk outside, and my knees buckle. I drop to my knees, and tears flood my eyes as I reach out for a piece of Beth’s rainbow dress. The exact dress she wore the night she died. As I pull it close, there is a note attached to the end.
Find the crystal or your family will be next.
Holy shit. Well, I guess I don’t really have a choice now, do I? Granted, my parents have never been the best, but I still love them. I better get my act together or things are just going to get worse. I sure hope both Beth and Brad are right and I’m stronger than I think I am.
I fold the small section of her dress, pick up the food and water, and go back upstairs to my room to hide the fabric in a drawer. This might be what they want, but at this point I don’t care. I’ll take anything left of Beth to cherish.
Maybe, one day, I can let go of this pain, but I don’t see it happening any time soon. I knock on Becca’s hiding spot and, when she opens the door, hand her some breakfast food. “I’m going to get ready and tell
my parents I’ve made my decision. You should be able to get out and about for a few minutes once we leave.”
She takes the food and nods. “Got it. Thanks.”
Within the next few minutes, I’ve taken a shower and gotten myself dressed and presentable. I go downstairs and find my parents sitting in the kitchen eating eggs and toast at the table.
They both look up when I walk into the room. Dad’s hair is styled and he’s wearing a white button-down shirt and navy blue trousers. Mom’s adjusting her hair and smoothing her pink blouse down over her gray pencil skirt.
Dad sets his cup of coffee on the table. “Are you ready to train more today?”
“No.” I take a deep breath. “I’ve made my decision and am ready to go back to the council house.”
Mom’s forehead creases and she sets her fork down. “Now, listen here. You don’t need to make any rash decisions.”
“I’m going to find the crystal.” I cut her off, not wanting any more lectures.
Dad lets out a breath. “Oh, thank goodness.”
“Oh, baby. I’m so proud of you.” Mom covers her mouth with her hands.
Yeah, of course, that’s what they want. I’m just ready to get this over with. “Like I said, I’m ready to let them know my decision.” I don’t want any other threats to come my way.
“Of course.” Dad stands and helps Mom up. “Let’s go at once, and when you get back from whatever trip you go on, we will get your power under control so this won’t be a problem again.”
I remain quiet. I am going to get through one hurdle at a time.
We arrive at the manor within the next few minutes. The front door opens before we even reach the first step.
A butler bows his head. “The elders are expecting you. Please, come in.” He turns on his heel and takes off toward the elders’ room.
The cold feeling courses through me, but I push it to the back of my mind as always. Within minutes, we are back in the room. The four, as always, are sitting in their seats on the platform. The oldest lady has a smirk on her face as if she knows why we are here.
But it’s the younger lady that stands. Her cream dress clings tight and covers each inch of her. “I take it you have made your decision.”
Mom steps in front of me. “She has made her decision and…”
The older man holds up his hand. “We would like to hear it from her. She is the one who is under trial.”
Damn. They hadn’t put it like that before, but I guess this is a trial and I’ve already been convicted. Sometimes, I’m jealous of the humans. At least, with them, they get to pretend they are innocent before proven guilty. I take a deep breath and make sure my tone is steady. “As my mother was saying, I’ve made my decision. I will find your crystal.”
“Well, it’s actually four items. The crystal is the first thing. But, once you find the crystal, your parents will be safe.” The left side of the older lady’s mouth tilts up. “You have to find all four for you to be saved.”
So, that’s how they got me. They say one thing, and when I agree, they hit me with three others. Either way, I’m still stuck committing to do this. The piece of the rainbow dress flashes in my mind. “That’s fine. I agree.”
“It shouldn’t be a problem at all.” My dad lifts his chin and thrusts his chest out. “My daughter is special.” He glances at me with a gleam in his eye. “She can find things easily. Anything. All she needs is a picture.”
I take deep, calming breaths. This is something my parents shamed me of and pretended I didn’t have, and now, all of a sudden, he’s going to act proud of it. At least, I have some satisfaction knowing he doesn’t know the extent of my abilities. I don’t need a picture anymore.
The youngest male elder’s eyes light up. “Oh, well, that is handy. I have a picture right here.” He holds it out toward me.
Not wanting to waste any more time, I walk over and take it. The picture isn’t great, but I don’t need it. I can get the job done fine without it. It’s a clear crystal, but the brown lightning that’s constantly sparking isn’t conveyed well in it. “Great. This is exactly what I need.”
Not sure what else to do, I close my eyes and imagine the crystal. As always, it pops in my head, but it’s surrounded by darkness. What the hell? That’s never happened before. I try to pull back to see if it’s just in a very dark room, but there’s just more darkness. No matter how far back I pull, all I see is darkness. My heart begins to race and my ears pound.
“Honey, are you okay?” Mom touches my arm. “Have you found it?”
Can I just pretend I didn’t hear her? However, that would just prolong the inevitable. I open my eyes but keep them downward. “No, I didn’t.”
Dad comes over, his jaw tight. “What the hell do you mean?”
“Maybe,” the younger elder lady says as she stands, “she could use a sip of water. It has been a stressful twenty-four hours. Let’s give her a minute to calm down and relax. Then she can try again.”
A butler walks through the door and escorts my parents and me to another room. It’s a small room with a brown leather couch and loveseat. The walls are light yellow, and the floors are dark hardwood.
Another door across the room opens, and a second butler walks in and hands me a glass of water. All too soon, they leave, and I’m alone with Mom and Dad.
I sit on the loveseat and sip my water. I’m hoping they won’t have anything to say, but I’m sure that’s just wishful thinking.
“What the hell was that in there?” Dad spits out.
Well, so much for relaxing. “I don’t know. It’s like I’m blocked. I could see the crystal, but everything around it is black.”
Mom paces the room and rubs her hands. “The one time we actually want you to use your ability and you can’t. Are you always going to be a disappointment?”
Wow. Talk about supportive parents. “I’m sorry, and it’s been a long time since I’ve used it. Remember, I was told not to track that way.”
“Hey,” Dad points his finger at me. “Do not turn this around on your mother.”
I take another sip of water and just bite my tongue. Nothing good will come out of anything I want to say.
Soon, the door opens, and the younger man opens the door. “We’re ready for you again.”
And, just like that, my parents morph back into the fake supportive ones. My dad comes over and takes my arm to help me up. “Come on, honey. I’m sure you’ve got this now.”
Not wanting to drag it out any further, I stand and set my water on the small table by the loveseat. I turn and walk back through the doors to face the rest of the council.
The younger man hands me the picture and then heads back up to his place. Once he’s situated, the older man glances at me. “All right, let’s try this again.”
Here goes nothing. I close my eyes and the crystal pops in my head. But, once again, it’s surrounded by black. No matter what I do, I can’t figure out its location. “I’m sorry. I can’t find it.”
“This is unacceptable.” The older lady slams her hand down on the table. “If you can’t figure out where the damn crystal is, then your whole family will still suffer the repercussions we discussed.”
9
The ride back home is in complete silence. I would normally say that’s a blessing, but in this case, it’s not. My parents are too livid to speak to me. As soon as the car stops, I jump out and run to my room.
But, as soon as I get here, I realize I’m not alone here either. It’s weird. I was alone most of my life and never wanted to be until now when I can’t be. And that’s another problem. What am I going to do with Becca? I can’t take her back to her family or they will wind up reaping her again right away, but I can’t keep her holed up in my room for much longer. That’s not a way to live either.
I walk into the closet and find her asleep on the pallet of blankets. I want to be mad at her for not being in the hideaway room, but there’s no telling how long she was in there this morning.
I hurry to my door and lock it. My parents should leave me alone for a while.
The walls begin to spin and almost seem as if they are closing in on me. My heart races and sweat begins to bead around my hairline. I need to get away from here and distance myself from everything.
Not sure what else to do, I reach out to the wall to steady myself and walk toward the window. I can’t leave out the front door because I’d have to leave my bedroom door unlocked. I can’t do that with Becca sleeping in the closet. If Brad can climb in and out the window safely, I’m sure I can, too. I open the window up and glance down.
Outside my window, the first floor roof juts up right against the seal. On clear summer nights, sometimes Beth and I would take out some blankets and lie on the roof right there and stare up at the stairs. Right beyond that, there is a white oak tree that is just about a foot away that I should manage to get on and climb down. Granted, should is the key word.
The breeze blows through the window, and I step out onto the roof. I stand and put one foot in front of the other while holding my arms out to my sides for balance. I’m sure I look funny up here like this, but I don’t want to lose my balance and fall off.
After about ten steps, I’m at the edge where the tree is right in front of me that should drop me down in our backyard. I lean forward until my hands touch the bark, and the smell of vanilla hits my nose. I glance down until I find a branch that appears thick enough to support my weight. Soon, I’m climbing down the tree, which brings me back to my childhood days of when Beth and I would play in her backyard. Her brother Charlie would always tell me to leave so we would climb one of the trees in her yard until it was time for me to go home so he couldn’t find us. That was our place until we got big enough to meet up at the riverbank.
I land on my feet somehow and hurry through the yard before one of my parents can spot me. I put distance between me and the house, not having a destination in mind just the goal of getting away.
No matter how far away I get, none of the burden seems to lift. I don’t even realize where I’m heading until the tombstones appear. Of course, this is where I would come. I weave through all the graves until the familiar one comes into view. There are fresh purple lilies there so someone has been by recently. I walk up to the tombstone and squat down to read the all too familiar engraving.
